While visiting my family in Virginia a few years back, my wife and I stopped at a junk store that looked promising. We looked around the store, finding nothing of real interest, until we made our way to the very back. And there on the wall was housed the largest collection of velvet Elvis paintings I had ever seen in my life. It was a fuzzy documentation of his entire career. I had to have them all, so I literally ran to the clerk with credit card in hand and asked how much they would be. Then she said something that has haunted my sleep to this day.
"Those aren't for sale."
But they're in a store, a store where you sell goods to people such as myself so they can decorate their houses in ways that would bring shame to their parents. No matter what I said she wouldn't budge. So I burned the store down with her in it. Just kidding, I was moody for a bit then I forgot about it. Now the pain has returned.
You wanna know the next best thing to a velvet Elvis? An Elvis Mimobot! The King is ready to remember all your important stuff, like how to make fried peanut butter and banana sandwiches. Plus you get neat stuff for your computer to fancy it up, so you can finally get rid of that unicorn wallpaper you keep "forgetting" to change. They're available now!
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