When I am sleeping and my cat Icarus decides he wants attention, he will sit on my nightstand and poke me in the arm. Evidently this was not effective the other night, because I woke up in a panic after he put his entire paw in my mouth. He was seriously elbow deep and it startled the crap out of me. It was four in the morning and since I wasn't going to be sleeping again any time soon I got up to use the bathroom. Everything in that department is going fine, that is until I look in the bathtub. For those of you that don't know, Icarus has a habit of eating just about anything, especially if it's gross. There, in the bathtub, was clear evidence that he had been fishing in the drain.
With his paws.
That were just in my mouth.
I've only had my mouth washed out with soap once, and that was after I cursed at my mom when I was five. And she had the decency to not use liquid soap. But it's what I had, so I made do. I leaned my head back and pumped it straight in like I was a college kid downing a can of spray cheese. It took some time to wash it all back out, but I felt it was worth it to prevent my death from whatever evil had been brewing in that tub drain.
I'm sure I missed a few germs, and I picture them to look kinda like these guys, throwing a rager in my belly that would make Andrew WK blush. These guys were made by Skinner and Paul Kaiju and are available exclusively from Lulubell Toy Bodega. For $55 you get em both, which is a deal because I have to buy more soap. Pick em up tomorrow, August 30th at 11am Pacific time from http://www.lulubelltoys.com/.
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