Dark Forest Pollen Kaiser and Luftkaiser from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    I would not be surprised if critters like this have set up camp in my nasal passages.  See, I'm sick, and it's all I can focus on right now cause I feel like bag of poo that someone lit on fire and is currently being stomped on by a gullible neighbor.  I must moan about it as if it is my only course of action until whatever is inside my head grows board and moves on to the next person.  I know, it isn't the soundest of plans but it is gratifying to a degree.  

   These new hand painted Pollen Kaisers and Luftkaisers from Paul Kaiju are being referred to as the "Dark Forrest" editions.  Now, where I come from, a dark forest is something to be leery of, especially if it is dark during the day, which I suppose would make sense because every forest is dark at night.  Unless the forest has electricity and an abundance of lamps hanging from tree branches, but that's something else to be scared of entirely.  

   Both of these figures go on sale at noon Pacific time today from the fine folks at Toy Art Gallery.  

New Young Gohst from Ferg x Grody Shogun x Lulubell Toy Bodega

    Uggh, I have a sinus infection.  And it's not as if they aren't sucky any time of the year, but they're especially sucky when it's 90 degrees out.  It's hot, the humidity is high, and you can barely breath because all of your cranial cavities are filled with snot.  I just felt like complaining a bit to start my Friday off on the right foot.

    This guy is looking like he's having a rough go of it as well.  This dude is the latest Young Gohst from Ferg x Grody Shogun and is somehow made of a mixture of glow in the dark, red, teal, and magenta vinyl.  I don't know how they do it, but it gives him the look of having gone a few rounds with Mike Tyson with his hands tied behind his back.  Getting punched in the face repeatedly is probably not a good way to clear your congestion.  

   If you want one of these there is gonna be a limited 24 hour pre-order window open starting June 30th at 10am Pacific time.  These suckers are made to order and each one will be unique.  Available only from http://www.lulubelltoys.com/. 

Limited Pre-Order Run Krawluss from Skinner x Mutant Vinyl Hardcore

    Skinner not only creates the greatest monsters the world has ever known, but he is a mythical being himself.  See, Skinner has been making stuff before he was ever born into his human body.  Just look at what I found in the Smithsonian's American History Museum over the weekend:

    Making steam engines obviously bored him, so he decided to inhabit his current form and bring plastic nightmares to life instead.  And this one may be the most horrific of all.  Krawluss is the result of him melding his mind together with Mutant Vinyl Hardcore, passing the unholy amalgamation off to Shinbone Creative (for sculpting purposes) through a series of haunting visions in a Whopper Value Meal, and then having the plastic bits meticulously cast by dark elves hidden in the mountains of Japan.  Then Skinner puts their pieces together and paints in all the stuff that will keep you up at night.  Slap the biggest header card ever known in the 9 worlds and you have a toy that will make all of your other life decisions meaningless.  

    It's not a question of whether you will buy one or not, for his eyes have already permeated your very soul.  The only question is when you can do so, and that would be starting tomorrow, Friday June 27th.  This sale will last until June 29th or until all of the figures are spoken for.  I would bet on the latter happening.  And everyone who pre-orders one of these fine specimens will be entered into a drawing to win this:

    Are you kidding me?  You might end up getting two figures for the price of one?  His accountant is gonna have a fit.  

    Each figure will retail for $250 and will only be available from this link.  

From Adult Films to DIY Toy Maker? Tanya Tate is Making the Jump

    Tanya Tate is famous for making the types of movies you better not get caught watching at work.  She also likes to dress up as various superheroes, attend comic conventions, and collect toys.  Now she is adding figure producer to her resume with these DIY My Hero Toys.  I thought to myself "now Chris, it's important to be thorough while researching this story, so you put in the hours it's gonna take to inform your readers."  I did it all for you, just remember that.

    The figure itself is pretty different from anything that's out there, in that decidedly female, and could make for some pretty interesting customs. 

    

     She has launched a funding campaign through Indie Go Go with all kinds of rewards for backing the project (and all are PG-13, I checked it out for ya.  You're welcome.)   Check it out by clicking this link and doing your own, uh, "research".  

Joe Ledbetter's Fire Cat Returns!

    My wife and I spent this weekend in Washington D.C. checking out the zoo and the various museums and whatnot.  It was the first time we've ever left our youngest cats by themselves since we got them (don't worry, their grandparents came by to check on them) so we were a little nervous that they would have some sort of meltdown and destroy everything we own.  Luckily for us they seemed to keep it together for the most part, and proved my theory that they save their worst behavior for when they have a human audience.  I suppose it is more effective that way, but it didn't stop us from thoroughly inspecting the house just to be sure that they didn't hide poop in our shoes.

    This picture is pretty much how I expected them all to look when they realized we weren't coming back that first night.  Joe Ledbetter has decided to self produce his own toy and this gigantic Fire Cat is the result.  It stands an impressive 11 inches tall, is limited to 400 pieces, and goes on sale this Thursday at 8am Pacific time for only $99.  Now how on earth did he manage to make a figure that big and keep the price reasonable?  Is he a secret wizard?  

http://www.joeledbetter.com

SDCC Exclusive Ghostbuster Pop! Vinyls from Funko

    It's that time of year again, when all of us that are unable to go to San Diego Comic Con start making pacts with whatever deity will help us secure those exclusive toys.  I've only seen a few things so far, but I think these Ghostbuster Pop! Vinyl variants from Funko are gonna be pretty tough to beat.  You might want to run and grab a drool towel to protect your internet device as you gaze upon their majesty.  

Dr. Rockso Inspired Bullet Belt from Skinner x Unbox Industries

    Dr. Rockso is the perfect role model for kids because he's honest.  The Rock and Roll Clown is very forthcoming about his love for all illegal substances, so they don't have to be disappointed when he gets caught in some tangled web of lies.  He's not some guy you think is an awesome athlete only to find out later that he drinks the blood of infants to up his goal scoring ability.  He's not some movie star, worshipping aliens and smacking hookers around while pretending to be a good family man.  Nope, ol' Dr. Rockso is a drug fueled circus clown with a penchant for sweet hair metal riffs and if you don't like that then you can go stand back on your pedestal of judgement and boredom.  Plus the guy is decked out in sweet neon spandex, and I don't know anyone who isn't a fan of that.

   Bullet Belt is looking snazzy as hell in this day glo color scheme.  Skinner painted 5 of these and he's putting em up for sale tomorrow, January 20th, for $150 each.  And let me tell you something right now, that's a better deal than you even know.  Unbox Industries did an amazing job on these figures and they're freakin huge and anything Skinner paints is gonna melt your little eye balls from your little skull when you gaze upon it in person.  Buying one of these will be the best decision you've made all year.  

http://shopcriticalhit.com/

Hand Painted Luftkaiser from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    The United States is all about flying these stupid unmanned drones over all of its cities to spy on everyone, but how long do you think it's gonna be before a bunch of hillbillies start shooting them out of the sky?  Maybe drone taxidermy will become a thing and people will mount their heads over their fireplaces with little brass plaques telling the date and location of their kill.  Yeah, we'll probably never find out if people are doing that because I would imagine the jail time would be pretty intense for shooting down the government's toys, but I'd love for it to catch on.  

    If the government were smart, it would have designed all of its drones to look like a Luftkaiser.  Could you imagine seeing this thing flying around and trying to peek in your windows?  You'd be so terrified the last thing on your mind would be trying to shoot it and get close to it.  Now I would like it to become a thing where the government redesigns all drones to look like monsters.  

    Paul Kaiju hand painted a run of these scary looking dudes that will go on sale exclusively through Toy Art Gallery tomorrow, Friday the 20th, at noon Pacific time.  You can get one for $75, which is a lot less than the fine will be for blowing a drone out of the sky.  I think I said "drone" enough in this post to now be on an official NSA watch list.  Oh joy!

    

Orange Drop 20 Inch Dunny from Andrew Bell x Kidrobot

    These 20 inch Dunnys are like buying a piece of furniture.  Not only do you have to have a decent amount of space for them, but they instantly become one of the first things people see when they enter your house.  We have a pretty awesome vintage couch that takes up most of our living room and people always love.  The other day our cat Jorah is sitting under it, batting around a small tack.  I go to take it from him and quickly realize where it came from.  He had torn the lining under the couch from front to back and created a little hammock for himself.  It was filled with random stuff that we had been missing for a while and he had this look of excitement on his face like he was so proud of his ingenuity and was glad he could finally share it with us.  It was like watching a feline episode of Mtv Cribs:  

"And over here you'll see my treasure hoard.  We have the stopper to the bathtub, about $15 in change,  the checkbook, an old cell phone, and a weird bone that the medical examiner may or may not have interest in."

"To your left is where the hot tub is getting installed, and over here is where the magic happens.  With your shoe.  Don't try and stop our love."

    The good thing about this giant Orange Drop Dunny from Andrew Bell and Kidrobot is that it is made of plastic, so at most Jorah would only be able to leave a few teeth marks in it.  Though it would be massive enough to carve the head out and make a nice cat bed, although a pricey one.  They will be available July 3rd for $399.99.  

Jorah, thinking about his next DIY project.  

The Eldritch Embryos from We Become Monsters

    Seems like everyone around me is having kids.  Sometimes I think I'd be good at raising a child, but other times I'm worried that I may try to sell them to a shoe factory as cheap labor.  And you never really know what you're going to get when you have a child do you?  It's biological gambling.  You may end up with a genius, you may end up with Charles Manson.  Kinda scary when you think about it.  

    What if one of these things pops out and starts calling you "dad"?  You know you're gonna have to ship it off to boarding school and hope it forgets how to get home, otherwise you can expect the rest of your town to eventually show up with torches and pitchforks at your front door.  We Become Monsters may have completely sworn me off of fatherhood with these Eldritch Embryos.  These frightening future monsters are available right now at http://webecomemonsters.storenvy.com/ for $28 each and are sold in random colors.  

More Bedtime Bunnies from Peter Kato

    Attempting to sleep in my house seems like more of an event than it really should be.  You have to make sure your feet are tucked securely beneath a blanket that has proven to be both bite and scratch proof, otherwise you will be awoken with sharp little pains followed by trickles of blood.  Our kitten Jorah has made it his life's mission to eradicate the world of useless toes.  And just the other night I awoke to the little warning coughs of an impending hairball just in time to avoid it being deposited on my forehead by Ophelia.  My pillow and the sheets were unfortunate casualties of the incident, but I rejoiced in making it out relatively unscathed.  

    I wish sleep could be less of a contact sport and as peaceful as it looks on the faces of Peter Kato's Bedtime Bunnies.  I bet they awake refreshed and without new scars from hyperactive kittens.  He's debuting a new color combination of orange and grey and well as restocking his pink and white versions.  They will go on sale this Thursday, June 19th, at midnight for $20 for the 3 inch versions, while the slightly smaller 2 and 1/2 inch ones will be $12.  They sell out every time they are offered, so get to http://peterkatoshop.com/ early and be ready.  

Holiday Harley Quinn Bombshells Statue from DC Collectibles

    Do stores have their Christmas decorations up yet?  I don't really pay attention when I go into places, because I usually know exactly what I want, grab it, and play a fun game called "let's get the hell out of here before we catch what these people have."  That game is really only effective at Wal-Mart, who do have the lowest grocery prices around if you can fight your way through the hoard of mutants.  The trick is to not make eye contact, but you do miss a lot as a result.  Hence the fact that there may be Christmas trees littering the aisles and I wouldn't even have seen them.  I'm only oblivious to things when trying not to become the love prisoner of a gaggle of toothless hillbillies.  

    Now this is a holiday decoration I can get behind!  Harley Quinn's Bombshell statue got a festive remake just in time for you to start doing your house up in the spirit of the season.  Or if you don't celebrate Christmas for whatever reason you can still buy one and be marveled at how cute a fictional sociopath can be.  These will be available later in the year from DC Collectibles.  

   

Gummi Keiko: Sweet of the Dead from Fools Paradise

    One of the funniest things I've seen on the internet recently are the sugar free Gummi Bear reviews on Amazon.  Evidently whatever they use to sweeten those little squishy critters will make the fires of hell erupt from your backside.  For hours.  The stories are horrifying and hilarious at the same time.  If you're ready to laugh until you yourself feel ill, then click this link and revel in tales of the digestive misery of others.   

    So this guy is pretty frightening.  Try to ever eat a Gummi Bear again without thinking of a tiny skinned corpse sitting inside of it.  Not that it would make them any less delicious mind you, but if you feel a crunch when you bite into it you'll know what it was from. 

   This figure from Fools Paradise is pretty amazing though.  We've seen the anatomical versions of this candy before, but never like this.  I love how detailed the inner figure is, especially the painting of the muscles.  They're up for preorder right now at http://doublefools.blogspot.com/ through July 11th.  

Hazardous Taste Dunny from Sket-One x Huck Gee

    Anyone that knows me knows that I love orange Vitamin Water.  Or, I suppose I "loved" it until they recently changed the sweetener in it and made it taste disgusting.  Why do companies do that?  I couldn't have been the only person buying them by the case.  Sprite and 7up did it too in an effort to appease the health nuts and now both of those taste like drinking carbonated air freshener.  Their should be legislation that prevents stuff like this from happening.  We can call it the Lucas Law, in honor of the man who decided Star Wars was too brilliant and that he should add some cgi nonsense to it years later because being a billionaire is boring work unless you can ruin everything that people love.  Vitamin Water, you are the computer animated Jabba the Hut of the beverage world.  

    Ok, so this Dunny is called Hazardous Taste, but his contents look delicious, like that Ecto Cooler Hi-C put out years ago.  Couldn't be that bad for you, right?  Huck Gee and Sket-One have teamed up again for yet another impressive Dunny release.  And the clock has already started ticking on your ability to get one, because the window of opportunity to order closes when the clock strikes midnight tonight.  Only the amount ordered will be produced so you need to be a man (or woman) of action and get yourself in on the deal.    

Order now at http://www.sket-one.com/

The Big Push to Bring Little Maddie to Life

    We're have officially one week left to go to make Little Maddie from Bigshot Toyworks a reality and there is still a lot of room to help and a lot of really cool rewards for doing so.  They've added the option to get a completely clear version of the figure that you can see here:

    You can also pick up different customized versions of this Cthulhu-possessed horsey from the likes of Mark Nagata, Martin Hsu, Monster Kolor, Small Angry Monster, Nemo, and Mechavirus.  These will all be one of a kind so you'll have ultimate bragging rights if you snag one.  This is the first time I've ever personally backed a Kickstarter project and I really really want to see this thing succeed.  Not even just for me though, but for the people that have worked hard to create it.  Go to this link and help out any way you can.  Even if it's only a $1 you're still helping it get closer to goal.    

Antichrist 666 Lucky Bags from Frank Mysterio

    What is it about monsters that is so appealing?  Is it because the bad guy always seems like he's having a bit more fun?  I it because we each have a little bit of the sinister within us all that these guys appeal to?  Is it because they are creative representations of how harsh the world we live in has become?  I think it's because we're all bored.  We're bombarded with so many things that just aren't interesting that we lose are minds when we see something with so many nuances, so much detail.  That's how I feel about Frank Mysterio's Antichrist 666 figure.  While it has a name that many people would feel uncomfortable with, this is one intense monstrosity.  He's a complex character that is anything but run of the mill.  Right now you can snag one of these dudes for only $60 as part of a lucky bag sale Frank has going on right now.  Head over to http://frankmysterio.bigcartel.com/ and pick yourself up a crazy looking toy on the cheap.  

God of War Pop! Vinyl from Funko

    Kratos is the baddest dude in the history of video games.  He slaughtered every monster that looked at him sideways, became a god, destroyed not only the titans but the entire Greek pantheon and then plunged the entire world into unimaginable chaos.  And he did it all while being forced to wear the ashes of his dead wife and daughter.  Doesn't make that dolphin tattoo you got on your ankle during spring break much of a good story anymore does it?

   Funko has gone and tried to make the former God of War as cute as they could in Pop! Vinyl form.  He's available now to inspire you to greater heights of manliness.  

Legends of Cthulhu Kickstarter Campaign from Warpo

    I'm digging this new trend of making retro style action figures that should have existed.  There's been a few cool ones, there's been lots of crappy ones, and now let me present to you the very best ones.  From the tales of H P Lovecraft come the Legends of Cthulhu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  I know you want them all right now, but in order to make that happen you gotta donate to their Kickstarter campaign.  Click this link and pledge all your monies to the elder gods in order to earn their favor when they return to enslave mankind.  Or to just get some cool toys, but not pissing them off couldn't hurt either, right?  

Brought to you by the fine folks at Warpo.

  

Celebrate the 30th Anniversary of Ghostbusters With This Octopup from Nathan Hamill x 3DRetro

    Sharon and I just watched Ghostbusters 2 on Netflix the other night and as a result would like to petition Rick Moranis to make more movies.  That dude is seriously funny, and he didn't have to rely on toilet humor like most comedians do these days.  That makes me sound kinda old, but I don't care, because I don't think it takes any talent to be crude.  Now get off my lawn before I call the cops!

    In case you didn't know, this year marks the 30th anniversary of the original Ghostbusters film.  Do you remember the scene in the library where they irritate the lady ghost while she's reading and she gets all mad and transforms into a hideous creature?  That scared the crap out of me when I was little, so much so that each time I watched the movie I would turn away at that part.  I was also scared of Jaws, my own shadow, dirt, free range monkeys, the Dewey decimal system, and nursing homes to name a few, but that ghost ranked up there.  Lucky for me I outgrew most of those and have become a pillar of manliness that can look that scary lady in the eyes and know that she won't keep me up at night most times.  

    The best way to celebrate any milestone in life is to buy toys, so lucky for you Nathan Hamill and 3DRetro have created an Octopup to mark this occasion.  He looks like he was molded from the same wad of goo that the ever popular Slimer was, and he will be available to haunt your halls beginning this Sunday, June 8th, at noon Pacific time from http://www.3dretro.com/.

   And I'm still serious about Rick Moranis making more films.  Lets get a Kickstarter going to make Spaceballs 2 happen.  

"Hello Ohio" Mr. Toast Solo Show at Rivet Gallery

    The world would be a better place if their were more anthropomorphic food items.  You can't be upset when you see a group of breakfast noms that are all friends and look ready to go on adventures.   And their friendship spans different food groups, which is a good message for the kids (and one apparently Justin Bieber didn't receive based on his little videos that are surfacing).

    Rivet Gallery is presenting "Hello Ohio" a new solo art show from Mr. Toast that will open this Saturday.  Just look at the picture up there and tell me you won't enjoy yourself.   They're gonna have a photo booth, and giveaways, and free beverages that if you drink enough of the toast will actually start talking to you (you shouldn't drink that much by the way).  They also will be celebrating their 7th anniversary, which is a pretty big achievement these days.

For more info check out http://rivetart.com/.  

Breaking Bad Pop! Vinyls from Funko

    Breaking Bad ended as perfectly as any show could, but now Bryan Cranston has hinted that since we never actually know whether or not Walt is actually dead that there could be more episodes in the future.  I really really really hope he was just trying to stir the rumor mill for his own amusement, because that could be a terrible disaster.  I hate when people can't leave well enough alone (I'm looking at you George Lucas) and end up ruining the memory of something great.  

    If you want more Breaking Bad story lines, just buy all of these figures and make up your own.  You can continue the madcap adventures of Walt and Jesse as they create that popular blue stuff and get everyone around them killed.  These Pop! Vinyls from Funko will be available starting in July and you can preorder them from Entertainment Earth by clicking on the link to the right.  

Baby Skeletor Doll from Mattel

    I take back everything I ever said about dudes playing with dolls.  Well, not all of it, but if the doll just happens to be an infant Skeletor, then by all means.  What can I even say about this that the pictures don't?  It's Skeletor and it's a baby doll.  And this isn't just some little figure that's in scale with the rest of the Masters of the Universe line, no no no, this is the size of something you would by your daughter and go AWWWWWWWWWWW every time she hugged it.  I almost want to have kids because of this toy.  And he comes with a toilet, so he can make his evil little poops and pees.  It really is the first throne any terrible ruler will have in life. 

    So I know you want this, if nothing more than to give as a gift to terrify some unsuspecting child.  Hopefully they won't be too hard to get, as it looks like they will be first made available to people who subscribe to the Masters of the Universe figure thingy that Mattel has.  Whatever's left will be available at this link on June 16th at 9am.  I may be late for work that day.   

Milk Magazine Exclusive Iron Man from 3A

    Seeing the amazing job that 3A has done on their Iron Man figures makes me hopeful that Marvel will let them run wild with every super hero they want.  I know they are working on a Dr. Doom, but I'd love to see a crazy version of two of my favorites, Thor and Loki.  A boy can dream, right?  

    Their Iron Man figure is even better looking in person.  I got to see them at this year's Toy Fair and no one that buys this will be disappointed.  In fact, it will probably make all your other toys look so lame that you'll sell them all to buy more 3A stuff.  

    Milk Magazine is the exclusive retailer for this version and he will be going up for preorder tomorrow until June 30th.  Get yours at http://www.milkcargo.com/.

Plaseebo's Skulloctopus Gets a Mechavirus Makeover

    The longer I do this, the more my views on toys and what I want to collect have changed.  Sometimes in a negative way, but I'd rather focus on the more positive aspects.  For one, I have grown a tremendous appreciation for the people that are doing it all on their own.  No big company or investors backing them with endless capital, no factories churning out tens of thousands of the exact same "limited" toy.  No, these are the guys that cleared space in their house, filled it with sometimes toxic chemicals, and made their crazy visions a reality.  Their minds are filled with paint schemes and character names and trying to figure out the time to make it all happen.  And like most writer's (certainly this one) they do it for love rather than money (though money would be pretty awesome).  

    Two of these people that I have come to admire are Plaseebo and Mechavirus, and they have pooled their insane talents on these Skulloctopus figures.  There are six of these figures in this series, each one different from the next so that you truly get a one of a kind piece.  They're going to be available this Friday, June 6th, at http://www.plaseebo.net/news/ for $175 each.