Black Magic Witch Hunter from Mutant Vinyl Hardcore

    Do you ever have days that are just so amazing that you have to run out and buy a lottery ticket just to see if your good fortune will turn into a monetary windfall?  I had one of those days yesterday.  First and foremost, I had the day off, which in and of itself is pretty nice.  Then I got a phone call saying that someone I "worked" with ( I use the term loosely) found another job and quit, which saves me the 

trouble of finding an abandoned well, tricking him to meet me there, and giving him the whole "This is Sparta" treatment.  Then Twitter let me know that one of my favorite authors has a new book coming out in October.  And finally, and most importantly, my cat Ophelia had a good visit at the vet.  Sadly, I forgot to buy a lottery ticket, but I did get a Slurpee and that's a definite win.

    Speaking of lotteries (you see what I did there? oh my goodness the transition was flawless) Mutant Vinyl Hardcore has a pretty sweet lottery running this very minute that you probably want to get in on.  It's for this super sick Black Magic Witch Hunter.  Just read the name again.  Good God do I even need to type anything else?  How could you not want it?  You better check with your local government office and see if you need a permit to own something this brutal in your town.  Right now there is a band forming somewhere in Norway that will only write songs in tribute to this guy.  Some kid in algebra class will be drawing this dude on his notebook and probably get sent to the guidance counselor for psychological testing.  And he comes with accessories.  He comes with a sick trident with a severed head at the end of it and a haunted axe.  When you really need to get the job done why settle for a regular Home Depot axe when there's a haunted one available?  I know I wouldn't.  

    Here's the important stuff.  To enter the lottery visit http://www.mutantvinylhardcore.com/lotteries/ and put in all your pertinent information.  Then start praying, and hoping, and wishing, and whatever else you think might help you get your name pulled so you have the opportunity to buy one of these.  The lottery closes tonight at 11:59pm so stop thinking about it and just do it.  

T-1 (Tea Minus One) from DMS

    I don't ever remember wanting to go to space as a kid.  I wanted to go to Egypt and see the pyramids, but space didn't do it for me.  I guess if I could be guaranteed some Star Wars stuff would go down I' be interested, but if I'm just stuck eating out of tubes and peeing into a vacuum cleaner I'm not really interested.  Zero gravity sounds pretty cool for a while, like until you have to use the bathroom at which point I imagine it gets real old real fast.  Could you picture eating a bad space burrito and the vacuum toilet breaks?  You'll be begging for sweet death to come and end it all.  

    Check out this Lunartik Cup of Tea all set for launch.  He's not worried about space toilets at all.  This custom figure was created by DMS and 15 of you lucky Earth dwellers will be able to own one when they go on sale tomorrow at 11pm BST.  They're only $79.99 plus shipping and each one will be made to order.  Pick one up for yourself at 

Paul Kaiju's Gacha Minis in Orange from Toy Art Gallery

    The thing about collecting anything is that you are eventually going to run out of usable space.  And being that you spent all of your money on what you collect, chances are you're not going to be able to upgrade your living situation on a whim.  So you have to get creative.  Like how I use the space beneath my stairs in the basement to store all of the packaging from the toys I buy.  It's starting to look like the storage room from the end of Raiders of the Lost Ark.  

(Actual picture from beneath my stairs.  That's David, our mutant boy who is in charge of sorting all of the boxes.  He works for 2 fish a week and access to our cable television.)  

     Of course if you're running out of space to store packaging you've gotta be getting tight on places you can actually show off the toys you love.  Fill those little nooks and crannies to capacity by adding some of Paul Kaiju's Gacha Minis to the mix.  This bright orange edition will be available tomorrow from Toy Art Gallery at noon Pacific time.  Each two inch figure is $15 or you can buy the whole set for $60, which essentially gets you one for free.  Oh math, how I have bested you yet again. 

http://shop.toyartgallery.com/

3AGO 8 Inch Figure Line from 3A is Available Now

    I love the worlds that 3A creates with their incredibly detailed toys, but I've yet to pull the trigger on actually owning some of them myself.  Usually I'll see something I want, but my finances won't be where I need them to be in order to pick one up.  That's why I was pretty excited to learn about their new 8 inch figure line called 3AGO.  They're taking some of their most popular characters, shrinking them down a bit, and pricing them at only $45 each.  They have 10 different figures up for sale right now at http://www.bambalandstore.com/ and they will ship out this December.  Here are just a few of the pieces they are offering in this first wave:

Eric Smith Launches Project: Vulkira on Kickstarter

    When is the government gonna start spending our tax dollars wisely and build one of these suckers for real?  You have a couple of these stationed along the coastlines and you will have effectively stopped conflicts before they even start.  Who is gonna pick a fight with the United States when we can just say "oh, I'm sorry, would you like me to send my 20-story tall war robot over there to talk to you about that"?  And not only that, but you'll create tons of jobs just building them, and you could station them in places so they become tourist attractions, and you could make souvenirs that everyone would want, and maybe at-home security system models.  I have single handedly created a billion dollar industry just this second while sitting here in my underwear.  Ok, you didn't need to know that last part, but it does attest to how effortlessly I create billion dollar industries.  

    Eric Smith has inspired me to overhaul our nation's defense department with Project: Vulkira.  His 8 inch tall foe of monsters everywhere just launched on Kickstarter right now where it needs your help to become reality.  This toy is going to be produced by my friends over at Unbox Industries, so you know it's not gonna suck, and it really doesn't need much money to get the ball rolling.  Head over to this link and check out all the sweet rewards you can get for helping to fund this project.  And the toy itself is really affordable at only $60 (shipped in the US), considering it's size,  the fact that it's articulated at 3 points, and it comes with removable fists, drill, and missile launcher.  That's a lot of value, son!   You know you get paid this week, so get to it!

Large Albino Heathrows from Frank Kozik on Sale Today!!!

    I have never been tan a day in my life.  It's scientifically proven ya know.  I'll get a sunburn, then it will peel off and I'll be paler than I was before.  Which is weird when you live in New Jersey, where so many folks look like old footballs that had been set on fire.  I used to work with a girl who was a big fan of bronzer and you could always tell where she had been because there would be little tan fingerprints all over.  She would have been a pretty terrible criminal.  

    While I am destined to have the skin tone of a fresh corpse, ol Heathrow here has taken on the complexion of those weird cave critters that never see the light of day.  You could start up your own curiosity show with one of these and hope that Kozik makes a wolf boy and a two headed version in the near future.  That could be a nice part time job.  

    These go on sale today at noon Pacific time over at www.frankkozik.net.  

Aura Glowing Head from Colin Christian

     Colin Christian makes some of the most amazing sculptures you will ever see in your life.  His intergalactic females have been featured in art shows around the world, and while I would like nothing more than to own one for myself, I'm a little short on funds.  But Colin's a good dude who is nice enough to make things that anyone can own even while they're saving up for one of his huge pieces.  Check out this Aura glowing head for example.  This beauty is 10 and 1/2 inches tall and features a color changing LED light behind translucent resin.  Dim the lights, throw on some "Dark Side of the Moon", and think about how you're well on your way to being a serious art collector.  Only 50 of them were made and they come signed and numbered for only $275.  Pick one up for yourself at http://www.colinchristian.com/.

WWE Sofubi Figures from Medicom

    How come nobody told me about these?  You know I love my wrasslin', and you know I love Japanese toys, so I'm kinda disappointed I wasn't bombarded with emails.  It's ok, I forgive you all.  Everything I have attempted to find out about these has been in a language other than English, which is unfortunate, cause it's the only one I know.  I did take French for a few years in high school but I only did that because I figured all of the cute girls would be there.  I always was too self conscious to really get do the accent or to talk to any of the girls, so the classes were a total bust.  The idea behind taking French was sound though, and I stand behind it.  

   What I've been able to gather is that both of these are officially licensed by WWE, made by Medicom, and available now for about $80 each in America money.  If you want to order one, and your Japanese is as none existent as mine, check out this link here, as it allows you to translate the page into English.  These ship in December of this year.  

Tenacious Toys Exclusive "Purple Haze" Daigomi from Guumon

    Driving into Atlantic City you will pass by a giant landfill that has a distinct smell of monster farts.  You will then smell it again after you've lost all of your money, signed over the title of your car to a loan shark, and are forced to walk back up the expressway in an attempt to hitch hike home.  It tried to warn you, that your get rich quick scheme involving your retirement fun and a blackjack table was a stinker.  Afterwards it's just rubbing it in, a noxious "I told you so" from old baby diapers and rotting Chinese food.  Luckily I am smart enough to live far enough away from it that I have not become used to the smell, but anytime I drive by it I'm expecting the odor is actually coming from the formation of a gigantic monster beneath the surface, coming to wreak havoc on us for our wasteful ways.  Daigomi is our reckoning, and you're gonna wish you recycled your cans now, punk!

   I can't say enough nice things about this figure.  Each time I see one I notice some new little detail worked into the design, with different paint schemes revealing new secrets.  Guumon has painted up a grand total of 6 of these figures in the "Purple Haze" color way, and they are exclusives to the good folks of Tenacious Toys.  There's even a chase version that involves a bit more gold near the head.  These will be available via a lottery system that will begin today.  Here is what you have to do for a chance to own one of these beauties:

To enter the Lottery, email us at tenacioustoys at gmail and include this information: Title the email with "Purple Haze Daigomi" and in the body of the email please include this info: Full name and address, plus paypal account username. Lottery closes on Friday. Winners will be chosen at random, only the winners will be contacted....one piece per household. Each of the 6 pieces will be $150+shipping. We will give you ship options & prices.

    May the toy gods be forever in your favor, or something.  

Super Deformed Voltron from Toynami

    Time for a nostalgia trip.  I remember one Christmas when I was a kid, getting all of those die cast metal Voltron lions that combined to form the giant robot.  Each one of those suckers could have broken your toe if you dropped it and when you combined them all you had a lethal weapon of awesomeness.  Now I can't see anything like that ever being marketed to kids again, what with the threat of them actually toughening up and all.  Can't have that!   

   But for all of us that grew up with Voltron and lived through the emergency room visits for the broken bones it caused, we can relive our fun times with this new super deformed version.  I'm not even being a jerk calling him super deformed cause that's what it's marketed as.  He comes with a bunch of swords and faces and led lights and is partly made of die cast so you can crack the skull of the guy in the cubicle next to you who makes fun of your newest desk accessory.  He's available for preorder now by clicking on that Entertainment Earth button you see to your right.  

Bone Usir Dx from Splurrt x Mutant Vinyl Hardcore

    Ok, I need this.  Like, really badly.  I was gonna start a campaign on that Go Fund Me website so I could raise enough cash to buy one, but then I felt kinda bad because there were people there with legitimate issues that could really use the help.  But I'm not above shameless begging on my own website, free of disasters or diseases that might make me feel like a bit of a heel.  Donate now, donate often, because like an otter to an ice cream sandwich:

   Now that I have made my impassioned plea, I shall tell you more about the object of my affections.  This, the greatest toy of this year, nay, this decade, is the Bone Usir DX.  Featuring the combined workings of Splurrt and Mutant Vinyl Hardcore, this fine specimen will be available this Saturday at noon Eastern time in both of the versions you see above.  I don't know how much they'll be, but I do know that they will only be available from http://splurrt.bigcartel.com/.

NYCC Exclusive Sons of Anarchy Figures from Mezco

    So I read on Twitter this morning that Kurt Sutter, the creator of Sons of Anarchy, had a dream where he ended the series by revealing the entire show was all just a day dream Jax was having while driving his Vespa to Starbucks.  The amount of people that would have lost their minds if that actually happened would have been totally worth doing it.  Hopefully they'll actually film that and make it a bonus on the dvd set.  And I'm almost ashamed to admit how relatable that scenario is.  My wife is always asking me for stories about my day, which I spend the entirety of standing in front of machines and making eye glasses.  It's not really the stuff great tales are made of.  But amid the sometimes maddening sounds of sharp blades carving through chunks of plastic I find my mind wandering beyond the confines of my sterile looking room.  I get so deep in thought that I only snap out of it when someone inevitably comes in to ask me a question and scares me to the brink of a heart attack.  I really need to buy a dead bolt for my door.

    You know where they have lots of doors that lock?  Prison.  Though I doubt you really get to collect your thoughts very often while trying not to be shanked or made the object of some frightening dude's affections.  At this year's New York Comic Con, Mezco will be releasing these Jax and Clay variants that are decked out in the finest county issued outfits that tax money can buy.  If you're going to the convention you can pick them up at booth number 1855.  A limited amount will also be released online at http://www.mezcotoyz.com/exclusives/ starting this Friday, August 22nd.  

Saur-O-Man and Battle Bone from Goodleg Toys

    Let me tell you something, when I go to the flea market, I go hard.  The wife and I had just arrived to browse through all the junk that people were trying to get rid of when I spotted a full size Tie Fighter Pilot helmet.  This sucker was hard plastic and it fit my giant melon.  It even had a spider living in it which may or may not have laid eggs in my ear.  That's added value!!!!  The guy could see I was interested in his fine piece of Star Wars memorabilia, and he kept asking me a bunch of nonsense like "sir, can you please take the helmet off and stop twerking on my customers?"  How am I supposed to know if an item will suite my needs if I don't give it a test run?  What an idiot.  So I was like fine, I'll play his game.  I asked him how much he wanted for it and he said $20.  I placed the helmet back on the table, gave him my "you so crazy" look and the price magically lowered to $15.  I thought it was a decent number, so I got a $20 bill from my wife and made that sucker give me change.  My favorite thing to do is pay in the amount you originally wanted and make you give me some back.  That's how you know I'm the boss and I won the flea market that day.  

    My wife took $15 and was able to buy some crazy homemade tree stump with a collage of Jesus, the Virgin Mary, and the Pope, some other Russian icon picture, and two ammonite fossils.  I still won though, cause you can't booty dance with ancient dead animals. 

   You thought that story was gonna have absolutely nothing to do with dinosaurs didn't you?  I know you did and it's ok.  I wasn't sure it was going to either, but sometimes I just like to surprise myself.  Goodleg Toys are pumping out the action figures like...like...someone who makes a lot of action figures and stuff.  They have not one but two new releases happening tomorrow.  The first is Saur-O-Man (bonus points for a successful Lord of the Rings reference).  The second is Battle Bone, who looks ready to rage.  Get em both when they go on sale Wednesday at midnight GMT at http://goodlegtoys.storenvy.com/.  

Tenacious Toys x Monster Kolor Custom Show at PIQ

   Tomorrow is Saturday and for many people that means not having to go to work.  I am not one of those people.  Nope, I'll be at work, making someone else richer.  But if you happen to be spending the day drenched in sweat from exploring the world and not from toiling away endlessly for the man, then you should check out the Tenacious Toys x Monster Kolor show at PIQ in New York City.  All the dates and times are right there in that handy flier you see.  Here are all the artists that are participating in the show:


D-LUX, 
Rampage Industries, 
Evilos, 
Forces of Dorkness, 
gorgoloid, 
Guumon, 
Jay222, 
John Cook Dooley, 
Josh Mayhem, 
Kid Ink Industries, 
Mark Nagata, 
MCA, 
MechaVirus, 
Michael Devera, 
Mr Munk, 
Prometheum 5, 
Shannon Deeds, 
Small Angry Monster, 
SoKo Cat, 
Erick Scarecrow, 
Sucklord

    And the cool thing is that the store is located right in Grand Central Station, which means if you don't feel like getting lost in the city you don't have too!  

Kozik Has a Flood of Releases for You Sometime Tonight

    Look at the amount of stuff is in this picture.  It's a lot right?  Well, sometime tonight it's all gonna be for sale at www.frankkozik.net.  What time exactly?  He won't say.  How much will any of it be?  It's a surprise.  What's the meaning of life?  Ham sandwich.  

Bedtime Bunnies Artist Series from Peter Kato featuring Andrea Kang

    OH MY GOD are these not the cutest things you've ever seen?  These remind me of marshmallows, and kittens, and the smell of my grandparent's attic, and sleeping in until noon.  These are beyond amazing and they should be sent to a factory somewhere so they can make enough so that everyone in the world is mailed one and they just have a better day.  That's the only way I can think to express how I feel about these Peter Kato Bedtime Bunnies that have been painted up by Andrea Kang.  This is the first time that another artist has embellished them and they are so adorable my head might explode, causing my wife to find quite the mess when she gets home from work.  

   Only 10 of these exist and they go on sale tonight at 9pm Eastern time only at http://peterkatoshop.com/.

Blood Thirst Night Stalker Edition from Brent Nolasco x Toy Art Gallery

    I recently learned that my wife will not as a matter of fact be excited by all of the discoveries I make in life.  I don't know if it's because we're getting older or what exactly, but we've recently become more outdoorsy.  We found this creek about an hour from where we live where people routinely go to dig up fossils.  Sounds like fun, and when I was in kindergarten I wanted to be an archaeologist and dig up mummies in Egypt, so it was the chance to realize an early childhood dream.  We've been a few times and found some shark teeth, a bunch of clams, and a few squid with no incidents.  Then we went last week and I was walking around in the water, seeing what the recent rain had unearthed and I saw what looked like our biggest squid fossil to date.  Turned out it was just a stick, but on the underside of that stick was a big friggin leech.  Now I've seen leeches plenty of times, but they've alway been preserved in jars.  This was the first time I'd ever seen one in the wild.  I turned to my wife, who was a few feet behind me on the shore, and asked her "have you ever seen a leech before?"  What followed next was a blur of curse words and threats on my well being, but I do remember her saying "I hate ticks and I hate slugs, so what makes you think I want to see a slug tick?"  Fair enough, I just had no one else to share my Crocodile Hunter moment with.  I named him Tito Santana, put him back in the water, and went about my business.  After a visit to the Cheesecake Factory most, if not all, was forgiven.

    I'll never forget those good times Tito Santana and I had, and now I don't have to because Brent Nolasco has made this figure that will forever remind me of our brief yet emotional time together.  Produced by Toy Art Gallery, the Blood Thirst Night Stalker edition is quite possibly the most frightening thing you've seen all day.  His name pretty much sums up what he's into, not that you couldn't tell by the menagerie of sharp pointy teeth he has everywhere.  He will be unleashed on an unsuspecting world tomorrow (Friday the 15th) at noon Pacific time at http://shop.toyartgallery.com/ and in their physical store.  My wife said I'm not allowed to have one because I don't know how to act.   

    

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Figures from The Loyal Subjects

    I haven't seen the new Ninja Turtles movie, and to be honest, I most likely won't until it comes to DVD. We don't make it to the theater very often, partly because it's expensive, partly because they feel the need to let other people in there with us.  No matter how early in the morning we go, there's always some idiot trying to impress his date with his knowledge of what we're watching or just someone that has decided that with the price of admission you get a free pass to act like a moron.  Until they amend the law and allow me to punch people in the face, I'll be sticking with Netflix.

    I did love the Turtles when I was a kid and I like the fact that it's become something new for this generation.  Lots of toys have been released recently to celebrate the new film and their 30th anniversary, but these from The Loyal Subjects are by far my favorite.  I love the look that designer Joe Allard came up with, making them look completely different from anything other tribute line and giving them each a heavy dose of personality.  You can preorder these blind box figures right now from https://www.theloyalsubjects.com and they are expected to ship out the middle of next month.  

R.I.P. Robin Williams

    The saddest thing is that he made so many people happy while being unable to do the same for himself.  

WWE Series 2 Pop! Vinyls from Funko

    You know what I miss in modern professional wrestling?  Those sick interviews where they would yell about how badly they were going to beat up the other guy.  They get so worked up until their faces turned red and they were short of breath and it looked like someone trying to do a dramatic interpretation of a stroke.  Let me present to you the all time king, Mr. Dusty Rhodes:

    Are you not inspired to go out there and conquer your enemies?  This is how I wish we could all handle our problems in real life.  You got a problem with some idiot at work?  You get a man in a suit with a microphone and camera, and you tell him about the beating you're about to lay on your foes.  In a perfect world this would lead to a sick match in a ring that all businesses would be required to have to settle hr disputes, but since we live in a world of mommas boys and lawyers, we have to work out our problems like "civilized" folk, whatever that means.  There's no issue between two adults that can't be solved with a choke slam through a table and that's fact bubba! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

    Look at these new WWE Pop! Vinyl from those good people at Funko. I'm gonna march my way down to the store, pick up one of each from the shelves, march em right to the checkout counter, Ric Flair chop the cashier, apologize thoroughly for getting carried away, pay for em with good old American cash money, then put them in a place of prominence in my house while I watch the WWE Network for a week straight.  But I gotta wait until this fall when they're released.  Poop.  

    

Wananeko Resin Figure from Javier Jimenez

    So I decided to get my car checked out yesterday afternoon after it had been making that weird noise I told you about yesterday.  You wanna know what that noise was?  It was the sound of $1300 leaving my credit card, never to be seen again.  They're still working on it today which equals a surprise vacation day from work for me.  Essentially I am getting paid right now to sit at home and pet my cats.  I am finally living the American dream and it is glorious!!!!

    As you may know by now, I dig me some kitties, and this Wananeko figure from Javier Jimenez is practically begging to live on my shelf.  He stands nearly 5 inches tall, is made of resin, and can be yours for only $60.  And check out this print hanging out at the bottom of the post.  This things breaks down what old Wananeko is made of, and according to the text it states that this dude feeds off of the panic of human beings.  I totally have a real life cat that does that as well.  He's cute as can be but I can feel him shaving time off of my life span with his shenanigans.  The print is only $6, so you have no excuse not to have one hanging in your home.  Both of them go on sale this Sunday, August 10th, at 11am EST only from http://www.lakaijufam.bigcartel.com/.

"Death Rides Again" featuring Mike Egan, Doubleparlour, and Lurk at Toy Art Gallery

    You may not know this, but I've been known to paint the occasional toy.  Granted, I haven't done anything in a while, but I'm trying to get more disciplined.  I could run down a prepared list of excuses that I just happen to have handy, but I'll spare you.  But seeing shows like this makes me want to get back on the creativity horse and ride that sucker into the sunset of success.  Didn't that sound like one of those motivational posters?  

   Toy Art Gallery is usually the place to be any day of the week, but it definitely is tomorrow for the opening of their Death Rides Again show.  This not only features the awesome work of Mike Egan, Doubleparlour and Lurk, but it will also feature the debut of vinyl toys from the latter two.  The opening runs from 7-10pm and Doubleparlour and Lurk will be to shake hands and kiss babies.    

http://www.toyartgallery.com/

Alavaka Blue Blind Bags from Devil's Head Productions

    I know I had sworn off the whole bling box thing but sometimes I miss that thrill of being surprised by what you just bought.  It's a good feeling and only really goes away when you buy two or three of something from a series and you end up with the exact same toy each time.  At that point I usually want to give up collecting, sell everything I own, and invest in mutual funds.  There are not many things in life that make me feel excited/infuriated within the span of a couple of minutes.  But this is different, cause this isn't like those sets of figures and you only want particular ones that you'll never get because the universe hates you.  When you buy one of these Blue Blind Bags from Devil's Head Productions you know you're at least going to get a sweet Alavaka figure.  Beyond that you have no expectations cause they're aren't pictures everywhere of what you could get that allow you to fall in love with some designs and loathe others.  It could only be more of a surprise if you had never seen what the basic figure looks like.  If you're feeling lucky these will go on sale Saturday, August 9th, for $50 each.   Pick one up from http://devilsheadquarters.storenvy.com/.

She-Drone from Goodleg Toys Dropping Tomorrow Night

    All of us dudes have gone through those lean times in our dating lives, where a pretty girl wouldn't talk to you if she was on fire and you were carrying jugs of water.  But always lurking around the bushes are those ladies whose outward appearance and inner personality can only be explained by their mothers dabbling in methamphetamine during pregnancy.  And you're kinda lonely so you start trying to justify reasons that would make going out with her look like a good idea.  Let me tell you a little story:

    Many moons ago when I was a young lad I went on a blind date with this girl that one of my coworkers (who in hindsight must have hated me) set up.  I knew I should have bailed the moment I went to pick her up and it turned out she lived with her dad in a camper and his only means of employment was sitting around with his shirt unbuttoned asking people if they wanted to buy "some good stuff."  Still, I was trying to be open minded (see also: lonely, desperate, kinda sad) and was promised that the girl was at least cute and nice.  Which she was both, but for those of you that are into setting other people up on dates here is a bit of advice:  it is always nice to know ahead of time if someone has a horribly contagious and incurable disease IN THEIR EYE.  This girl was sporting a pretty impressive collection of herpes sores next to her right eye and it's all that I could look at.  But being the nice guy I am I still took her out to lunch (cause I was hungry) and then pretended that something had slipped my mind and I really had to get her home so I could take care of it.  She was suspicious, but understanding and tried to lean over to give me a kiss goodbye as I was dropping her off.  I panicked.  All I could see where those things getting closer and closer to me and my future life as the Elephant Man.  I unbuckled my seat belt, opened the door and hopped out like I had just sat down on a rattlesnake.  I went around to her side, opened her door and told her I'd give her a call sometime.  Her phone may have rang afterward, but I was never on the other line.  

   A few years later I met the woman of my dreams and lived happily ever after.  My point in all of this is that this She-Drone from Goodleg Toys recalls my sketchy dating past.  While my memories are not fond nor are they easily worked through with the help of psychotherapy, I can appreciate that if I were to be involved in an intergalactic war I would probably want this chick on my side.  She will be available starting Friday at midnight over at http://goodlegtoys.storenvy.com/.

Zomb MD and Nurse from 3A

    When you go to the hospital and this is the guy that is assigned to take care of you, you will quickly realize how crappy your insurance is.  When you're picking your plan from your employer, never check the box that says "Civil War Coverage" cause this is what you end up with.  Sure it's more cost effective, but that's because they don't have to worry about paying for silly useless things like clean gloves or anesthesia.  And just get a look at this dude.  No doctor I've ever seen carries around a bone saw on his belt like some sort of wild west surgical outlaw. But his nurses have legs for days, which will probably distract you long enough for him to get the restraints in place and decide where he's gonna make his first cut.  

    If you weren't already weird about going to the doctor, 3A is gonna try to give you a hefty fear of healthcare with these guys.  For $260 you can get the doctor and his two nurse companions, or for $120 you can just go for the Black Rose Zomb Nurse and you could play the role of doctor yourself.  The sale goes down tomorrow at 9am Hong Kong time at http://www.bambalandstore.com/. 

Tons of New Releases from Rsin Tomorrow

    

    So I'm having an internal debate with myself today.  My car started making this weird noise and whenever something happens with one of our vehicles my first reaction is to fall in the floor while clutching my guts (because by now I've worried myself to the point of a stomach ache) and hope that it's no big deal.  So today the debate continues:  do I ignore the noise and hope that somehow little engine trolls appear to magically fix it, or do I spend my day sitting at a repair shop while they create a master list of every wire and bolt that needs to be replaced?  I better type faster because I can feel my intestines tying themselves into knots.

    I need to think happy thoughts, and the work of Rsin is gonna have to transport me to that magical land where people don't worry about fixing their cars. How can you not feel better about things while looking at these dudes?  You can add one to your collection tomorrow when all of them go on sale over at www.whispers.storenvy.com.  

Rocket Raccoon Labbit from Frank Kozik x Kidrobot

    I am one of five people in the continental United States that has yet to see Guardians of the Galaxy, but even without seeing it there's no way my favorite character could be anyone other than Rocket Raccoon.  First off, I love raccoons.  Secondly, he is sassy and carries heavy firepower.  I love woodland creatures with guns!!!!!!!!!  

   Frank Kozik had a limited number of these dudes on sale at San Diego Comic Con and they sold out really quickly.  Then some turned up on eBay for a ridiculous amount of money.  The joke's on those fools who thought they were so clever and had such a perfect scheme to make some cash, cause the general release of these Labbits from Kidrobot is tomorrow.  

   Did I even tell you the best part about this Labbit?  I didn't?  HE HAS A FUZZY TAIL!!!!!!!!!  You could pet it if you want, or hold it against you while you're not wearing a shirt.  There's nothing wrong with a grown man holding a fluffy critter next to his bare chest, despite your neighbors yelling at you to "close your curtains, freak".  They're just jealous.  

Teal Bedtime Bunnies from Peter Kato

    When you have a house full of cats there really is no need for an alarm clock, because they will take turns waking you up every few hours anyway.  For animals that like to nap so much, you would think they would have a healthy respect for my need to rest.  Early on in the night it starts out with a headbutt here and there and it's kinda cute, but the closer it gets to morning that's when their efforts get harsher.  For instance, I woke up this morning because one of them was trying to separate my pinky toe from the rest of my foot.  My theory is that they are either worried that we are dead and we can no longer turn on their favorite tv shows for them or that they're checking to see if they can eat us yet.  Sharon and I have tried to combat their need to wake us with tooth and claw by a blanket we call "cat armor".  It is merely a thick comforter that has thus proven impenetrable to their attack methods when we are at our most vulnerable.  The problem is when you get too hot and you peek a foot or a whole leg out from its protective embrace, thus sending out a signal that you are asking to be blood let.  

    While I descend into eventual madness from a lack of good sleep you should make yourself ready to welcome new Bedtime Bunnies into your life.  Peter Kato is releasing his latest edition in teal.  There are 24 figures in total, with 2 different sizes to choose from and variations in tones throughout.  They will be released tomorrow, August 7th, at 9pm only at http://peterkatoshop.com/.

Super7 x Funko Horror Film ReAction Figures

    I would imagine the thing most people say when they see these figures for the first time is "where were these when I was a kid", but let's be real, there's no way your parents would have bought you a bunch of fictional mass murders to play with.  Unless they really wanted to spend their retirement coming to visit you at the state penitentiary.  But now that you're an adult most people probably already know that you're a weirdo and your parents can rest assured that they got you this far amd the fact that you eat your oatmeal from a human skull certainly can't be a result of how you were raised.  

    Make up for the lost time you could have spent tormenting your other toys with these horror series ReAction figures from Funko and Super 7.  Think of the adventures G.I. Joe missed out on!  Get em all when they're released next month for $9.99 each.