Krampus on a Shelf from Forces of Dorkness x Tenacious Toys

    If you want your kids to behave themselves in the time leading up to Christmas, why would you put some little sissy on your mantle that's gonna supposedly go off and rat em out for the bad stuff they do? Kids know that snitches get stitches and they're not gonna take some dainty little elf seriously.  What you need is some crazy looking demon guy that will stuff them into a bag and beat the tar out of them with a stick.  Now that's something that will make even the littlest psychopath think twice before giving into those bad voices in his head.

    Krampus is the greatest thing to happen to Christmas since presents, and it warms my heart to see people in America start to embrace Santa's enforcer.  Now if only we could start working him into our holiday traditions.  Kids need a healthy dose of fear.  They need a freaky goat man to smack them around as they stare mindlessly into their cell phones instead of taking out the trash.

    Ok, this has nothing to do with what I'm talking about, but I couldn't stop laughing at this video when I saw it.  It is Christmas themed though:


    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm dying, I'm dying.

     Krampus on the Shelf was created by Forces of Dorkness to watch over your little nut jobs as they go about their heathen ways.  They are going up for preorder this Sunday, November 2nd, at 7pm as part of Super Series Sunday from Tenacious Toys.  You'll have two weeks to place your order for one of these dudes, who stand 8 inches tall and retail for only $50.  It's cheaper than putting those little monsters in obedience school (do they have that for kids?).  Get yours at http://www.tenacioustoys.com/

Brutherford Industries Has A Pile of Releases for Halloween

    It's been a while since we heard from Brutherford Industries.  What's he been up to?  Was he abducted by aliens, or raising alpacas for their wool?  Did he open a Chik-Fil-A, or maybe he just took a long nap. Who knows, cause tomorrow (which happens to be Halloween) he's got a veritable horde of releases.  Let's get started cause it's almost my lunch time.  

    Look at that sweet can of paint, caught right in the moment before the cops come and arrest you for vandalism.  Don't worry, you'll probably just pay a fine.  But how cool is this?  The answer is "very cool" especially cause it's limited to only 25 pieces and it can be displayed like you see it or you can hang it on the wall and make it look like a ghost is helping you redecorate.  $125 and it's yours.  

    Oh snap son, you know you need these.  I see you out there, trying to live your life like you're in a rap video.  You can't do that when your Ikea entertainment center is filled with nothing but video game manuals though.  You gotta add some shine to it.  One of these Ice Scream men would do the trick.  And you have two different sizes to choose from, but logic dictates you should get them both for maximum wow factor.  The big one is limited to 25 pieces and the small has 50 little brothers and sisters running around.  They are $85 and $15 respectively.  

    Our maybe you're more like me and your house is closer to a Marilyn Manson video than it is Jay-Z. Then do I have something for you.  Check out this little domed specimen.  The display alone is worth the $45, but you also get a sweet gold skull.  Limited to 50 pieces.  

    If you've got some painting ability you might wanna get something to stir those creative juices.  Here are two pieces just waiting for your customizing skills.  Get a blank Ice Scream man for $35 or a blank skull for $15.  

    Ok, we finally reached the end, which is good cause I'm developing callouses on my typing fingers.  Hungry Hungry Hordak wants nothing more than to come live with you and flash his man bits every time you look at him.  He's kind of a weirdo like that.  For $15 you can be eternally shocked by his vulgarness.  

    Everything goes on sale tomorrow at noon eastern time from http://www.brutherford.com/.

Shallow Grave Mummy Skelevex to be Unearthed on Halloween

    It looks like someone had a productive day in the yard.  How long do you think it will be before every square inch of populated land on Earth will have a dead body under it?  I feel that this is one of those things that could be solved by an equation of some sort that is well beyond anything I'm willing to risk bruising my brain to figure out.  But I would assume with the way people are breeding there's got to be some point in time where its gonna happen.  It will be so commonplace that they'll probably have to issue everyone a new type of recycling bin just to throw old bones in whenever they find them.  Unearthed human remains pick up will be every other Wednesday or they will make special trips if you call in advance cause your bin is overflowing after digging for your new pool.  

    We're a long ways away from all of our backyards being as rich with marrow as the Paris catacombs, but people do make unexpected finds every once in a while when planting a new rose bush.  And these Skelevex look like they are ready to give some unsuspecting gardener the scare of their lives.  Only six of these "Shallow Grave Mummy" versions exist and you can snag one on Halloween (that's this Friday!!!) at 11:59 GMT at this link.

Phantom Edition of Jermaine Roger's Choices Available on Halloween

    That evil looking bunny is back and this time he's wearing his invisibility cloak.  Is there really any doubt now to his intentions?  That bunny is gonna cut you some new ventilation holes if you're not careful.  His wee beady eyes betray his attempts at stealthiness, so if you see two floating red orbs in your bed tonight, you better hope his depth perception sucks.  Or you just need to stop drinking so much.

    Jermaine Rogers has made 100 of these crystal clear killing machines and they will be released, appropriately enough, this Friday October 31st.  They will only be available at www.JermaineRogers.com for $75 each and 10 random figures will come with a special ticket that entitles you to an exclusive art print.  Screw buying bulk candy to give out to the neighborhood heathens and instead get yourself something nice to celebrate Halloween.

   
   

Designer Con Exclusive Bounty Wrestlers from Healeymade x DKE

    Did you watch Hell in a Cell last night?  How crappy was that ending to the Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose match?  You've got two guys putting on one of the best matches of the year and then you end it with the lights going out and Bray Wyatt interfering.  I like the possibilities of Ambrose vs Wyatt, but the way that ended was just a disservice to everyone involved and the people watching it.  I'm still mad.  

    But I love my wrasslin, and I love Star Wars, so thank God someone finally got wise and put em together.  Healeymade cast up 6 sets of these Bounty Wrestlers as exclusives for DKE at Designer Con.  They come all framed up looking fancy and ready to elevate your collection's wow factor.  You can impress your momma with these.  

Behold the Lavender Pollen Kaiser from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    Did anyone start their Christmas shopping yet?  I'm sort of on the ball this year and have already begun chipping away at it.  I'm never the type to wait until the last minute, but each year I seem to get dangerously close to panic mode.  Sometimes I even have dreams where it's Christmas morning and I haven't bought anyone anything and I do my best to fake a reason to be rushed to the emergency room just to buy me some time to figure out what to do.  They at least have a gift shop in the hospital, so I might be able to pass off a "get well" teddy bear or a bunch of phone cards as legit gifts.  It's kinda horrifying.

    You can begin your shopping for me today when Paul Kaiju and Toy Art Gallery release their latest edition of the mighty Pollen Kaiser.  See how easy I make this for you.  So park yourself near a computer at noon Pacific time, have it pointed at http://shop.toyartgallery.com/ and let the raining of presents upon me commence.  Of you can buy it for someone else I guess and I'll just resent you.  Kidding, I'm kidding, I will always love you.  But there's always room to move up on the love list, now isn't there?  

    

Halloween Pickle Baby from Leecifer Drops Today!

    I wonder if anyone has ever put one of Leecifer's Pickle Babies in a jar, filled it with some cloudy water, and called it a PICKLED Baby.  It would be the easiest custom in the world and if it hasn't been done yet I urge someone out there to do it.  And make an aged label identifying it to paste on the front too.  I don't want you to take my idea and just phone it in, cause that's just disrespectful.  Make it museum quality.  The challenge is out there.  

    Look at how festive these dudes are!  I bet they've already been to Starbucks twice and gotten something pumpkin flavored.  I think marbled toys are some of my favorites out there right now, and I'm loving how this orange and black has swirled together to make each one of these unique.  If you want one to spice up your Halloween decor (or Thanksgiving, this guy would look perfect next to a turkey-shaped butter sculpture) then pick one up from http://houseofleecifer.bigcartel.com/ today.  

Ron English Needs You To Help Him Make His Next Toy

    You know what I always say "you can never have too many skulls."  Seriously, go ahead and get yourself a nice skull and tell me you don't instantly want another.  It's like eating one potato chip, you can't do it.  Of course I'm only talking about the plastic versions, not the ones that developed inside your face meat.  I have a lot of weird stuff in the house, but I don't think I could ever own an actual human skull.  I love to go to look at them in museums, but I'm worried about bringing bad juju into my life if I had one just chillin on our dvd player.  I'm not even sure how to go about acquiring one.  Duh, I could go on the internet, but how would I know which one was right for me?  Do they come with biographical information about the person?  Do they tell you how they came to own it in the first place?  Will some family member want joint custody and insist on taking it out for ice cream every other weekend?  I'm just not ready for that sort of responsibility.

   I'm gonna stick with faux human skulls I think, like this one from Ron English.  Like many people, this skull has fame and fortune in it's eyes, so much so that it warped the actual bone structure.  This isn't some crappy prop you can buy at the Halloween store, this is a beautiful work of vinyl art that will impress your guests and brighten your decor.  But you can't have one of these beauties if you don't back the Kickstarter campaign that's happening now.  You can get everything from a pack of stickers, to one of these skulls in the colors you see above, to having lunch with the man himself.  Something tells me he won't be taking you to McDonald's.  So follow this link, and help him make this skull a reality.  

Woot Bear Grand Opening this Saturday!!!

    You know what I'm gonna be doing this Saturday?  Working.  Twice actually.  Gotta go to the day job, then gonna go make some extra scratch lugging around concert equipment at a casino.  Begin crying your tears of sorrow for me any time now.  

    Just kidding cause I like working.  Gives me a sense of pride that I can go out and support my family.  But I also like toys, and hobnobbing with artists and collectors, which makes me sad that I'm gonna totally miss the opening of Frank Kozik's Woot Bear gallery and toy store.  Also, it's kind of a far drive from New Jersey to California, so that plays a small part into why I can't go.  But the good news for you is that I'm one less person you'll have to compete with for all the stuff you want.  Like those massive Heathrows you see there, or any of the three other special releases that will be happening this Saturday as part of their Grand Opening.  Don't worry, I'll only be slightly jealous.  

    Get any other info you need over at http://www.wootbear.com/.

Two New Wananeko Cats from Javier Jimenez

    I remember the day that I almost had a heart attack after I realized we had five cats.  Okay, I'm not stupid, I distinctly remember having five, but they were never in the same room together so the impact of it wasn't that great.  Then they all started getting along (for the most part) and sitting in the living room together at night.  Sharon and I were eating dinner and watching tv (two sports we excel in) when I looked around and noticed they were all there just hanging out.  I dropped my fork, turned to her and said "My God we have five cats."  It was more an emotional revelation rather than a mathematical one. I was now having the reaction that most of my coworkers first had whenever we talked about our little house critters.  But when you think about it, each of us only has two and a half cats, so neither one of us can really be called crazy cat people right?  The half cat thing is kinda crazy, and you shouldn't have half of a cat in real life, only in theory when you're trying to explain how rational it is for your house to resemble the ASPCA, but the rest is pretty sound logic.  Cause you can't just have one cause they'll be lonely, and once you're up to three they start forming alliances, so you have to balance out the power struggle by adding a few more, but you can't have an even number because then when they need to vote on a particular cat issue you don't want to risk a deadlock, so you have to have a tie breaker.  I'm just gonna stop now.

    I have officially reached capacity ("catpacity"  Ok, this word really needs to be part of everyday speech.  For example "Don't tell Tina about your kittens, she has totally reached catpacity in her apartment."  Make it so!) as far as real cats go, but I still have plenty of room for plastic ones.  Like these Wananeko figures from Javier Jimenez.  There are two different versions you can get your grubby little paws on.  The first is a special Halloween edition that will be available this Sunday, October 26th at 11am Eastern time.  

    The second is a preorder for a Calico version that's available right this instant!  They are limited though, so if you want one you gotta make it happen soon.  Get em both over at http://www.lakaijufam.bigcartel.com/.

Taylored Curiosities Presents the Worry Beans

     My digestive system is as battle ravaged as the Middle East.  A big part of it is genetics, but there's got to be a mental factor too cause I worry about everything all the time.  I worry about life, death, money, my wife, my cats, my toys, my job, my car, tv, basically anything you can think of.  I worry whether we'll get tickets to Comic Con next year, whether we'll ever be able to do a lot of traveling, whether all of our kittens are living productive and happy lives.  I'm worrying thinking about all the worrying I do. I think I'm gonna be sick.

    Trying not to wreck my nerves is a full time job in itself, one in which the pay sucks and I wish I could quite and take up oil painting or something.  Taylored Curiosities wants us all to let go a little and let the Worry Beans guide us onto the ever elusive path of serenity.   A path that allows you to keep more of your hair and not be concerned where the restroom is at all times.  Right now in her shop you can get a set of these little dudes in varying colors that are ready to bring peace to that over active mind of yours.  Stop worrying about that growth on your arm and visit http://www.tayloredcuriosities.bigcartel.com/.

Hook The Enforcer Figure from Troma x Goodleg Toys

    World War II would have been a lot less eventful is the Nazis had actually taken up surfing.  They had a lot of hobbies, but none of them really on the "healthy" side.  Have you ever met an angry surfer?  I haven't.  They're all just too busy "shredding the gnar", or whatever it is that they get so excited about.  Honestly, I can't understand a thing they're saying, but my point is they keep themselves busy enough with their silly sayings and their skin cancer that they don't have time to think about trying to take over the world.  Which is why I am proposing a new division of the United States military that will focus on introducing new things for angry groups of folks to occupy themselves with.  I'm calling it the Arts and Crafts Brigade, but that's just a working title, and they will be in charge of setting up hobbies for militant groups that are giving us issues.  We're gonna start in the Middle East, where thousands of Bedazzlers and bags of sequins will be air dropped on enemy bases.  Once our foes start embellishing everything they own in semi-precious stones, they'll be too busy being fabulous to even worry about all that murder and mayhem nonsense.  Maybe we can teach North Korea the benefits and excitement that await them in the world of inline skating.  The possibilities are endless.  You can go ahead and mail me my Nobel Peace Prize.  

    Ok, so surfing really didn't do the trick in keeping calm the hooligans in Troma's Surf Nazis Must Die.  Or did it?  I'm not going to tell you and spoil the film. I'm not that kind of jerk.  I'm the kind of jerk that will tell you about the sweet action figures from Goodleg Toys featuring characters from this classic that I'm sure by now is archived in the Library of Congress.  Hook the Enforcer comes in two versions, the regular which you see above, and the Shark Edition, which you can see here:

    There are 30 of the regular and just 5 of the chase version, so get your hind parts over to http://goodlegtoys.tumblr.com/ and get one before they're gone.  

Mintyfresh Exclusive Poker Monkey from Joe Ledbetter x Munky King

    I really need to get jobs for my cats.  I bring home the applications, but they never get filled out.  Grump Cat has a job and Lil Bub has a job, so I don't see why my cats can't get on the internet and start earning me some cash.  All they wanna do is sit around all day, occasionally practice their black magic that a neighbor got them into, and watch Wendy Williams reruns.  

   This monkey has a job.  Or at least he's dressed like he does.  I assume if he wants to keep playing poker he better have some source of income.  He can't be winning that much if that bird is gonna tell everyone the cards he's holding.  The last time we saw this simian from Joe Ledbetter he was merely drinking a cup of coffee, though now it looks like he's fallen into a much more dangerous vice.  God only knows where his troubles will progress from here, maybe Munky King will make an "Opium Den" version next.  Who's to say, but I do know that this guy is an exclusive to Mintyfresh and will be unleashed upon the world Monday, October 20th at 7pm Amsterdam time through http://www.mintyfresh.eu/.

Toy Art Gallery's Halloween Show Opens Tomorrow

    What holiday other than Halloween can you celebrate with custom toys?  I mean, you could do Thanksgiving or Christmas I guess, but I don't think the results would be as cool.  And now that Halloween is rapidly getting pushed out of stores in favor of everyone's favorite gift giving holiday, the time to celebrate is now.  

    Tomorrow marks the opening of Toy Art Gallery's Halloween Show featuring all of your favorite artists.  Unless your favorite artist is Monet, or Picasso, in which case you will be disappointed.  Check out a couple of the pieces from the show below and if you're in the Los Angeles area go see em all in person beginning at 7pm tomorrow night.  

Seen at New York Comic Con: Weta Workshop

    It can be hard to grab attention at New York Comic Con.  There's so much to do and see that even if you don't have an issue with your attention span, you can find yourself quite overwhelmed by the whole experience.  So if you're an exhibitor, how do you cut through all of the visual noise and make sure people notice your products?  To start, it's not the worst idea in the world to put the life-size head of the most famous dragon in literature right on top of your booth. 

    Weta Workshop was not only responsible for bringing the Lord of the Rings and Hobbit trilogies to life, but they also make some amazing products from the films that you can own.  Granted, they aren't cheap, but you'll never own anything as high quality or breathtaking.  I could have spent the entire convention sitting in this booth a nerding out on all things Middle Earth.  Check out more pictures at www.facebook.com/TheToyViking.  

Seen at New York Comic Con: The Jelly Empire and Argonaut Resins

    I hope you're sitting down right now, cause I'm about to overwhelm you with cuteness.  If you're reading this I don't know what else you could be doing but sitting.  Unless you have one of those harnesses like Bob Dylan has for his harmonica and you're wearing your internet device around your neck.  In that case you might wanna stop whatever activity you are doing and sit down for a moment so you don't pass out and hit your head.  

    What's cuter than little robots that go on adventures and egyptian cats?  Don't say your kids, cause we know that most of the time you wanna beat them with a shoe.  No trip to New York Comic Con can be considered complete without visiting The Jelly Empire and Argonaut Resins.  They teamed up again this year to offer tons of resin made goodness.  Check out their respective sites in case anything remained from after the show.  

Seen at New York Comic Con: Tenacious Toys

    What's this?  Is it a picture of the elusive yeti?  The Loch Ness Monster?  No, it is you humble narrator, looking quite studious in the midst of conversation about some toy or another.  This rare image was snapped by Benny Kline of Tenacious Toys and thankfully I wasn't doing anything embarrassing at the time.  Though I was caught with my man purse, which comes in handy when you're trying to get rid of money like it's covered in ebola.  You gotta put all those toys somewhere.

    Each year Benny takes the time to put together a giant collective booth of artists and companies that is kinda like it's own sustainable village.  They have their own fire department, sanitation system, and currency.  Ok, not really, but if they get any bigger the post office is gonna force them to get their own zip code.  Not that I'm complaining because you can never have too much stuff to look at.  

    My favorite thing at the booth was Bigshot Toywork's Four Horsies of the 'Pocalypse line.  I'm a little biased though, because I did support the Kickstarter for Maddie and have one of those coming my way any day now.  After getting to hold it I'm even happier to have supported its creation, because it is an amazing looking toy.  I already have a spot in my display case reserved for its arrival.  

    Take a gander at some photos I took and check out www.tenacioustoys.com for anything they might have left over from the convention.  Many more photos can be found at www.facebook.com/TheToyViking.

    Things got weird after the second Death Star blew up.  

Seen at New York Comic Con: Kaiju Monster

    One of my first stops at every New York Comic Con is the Kaiju Monster booth.  The inspiration for a thousand movie about giant creatures destroying coastal cities could be found right here.  I could easily have gone into serious debt just within their three walls, as there was nothing I didn't want to take home.  Even my wife, who tends to prefer the cuter side of toys, was falling in love with the technicolor beasts.  Evidently there are some leftovers from the show, so check out www.kaijumonster.com to get a hold of anything you may have missed.   

Three New Releases from Toy Art Gallery Happening Today!

    Sweet Jesus what on earth is this thing?  It looks like something that would chase you down a hallway in some horror film, laughing like a demented school girl as it thinks about what part of you it will eat first.  If I were to somehow own this, I think I would look in a safe before I went to bed at night, just in case it was as haunted as it looks.  I have learned that it's called a Smalmack and this is the "Uncle Woman" edition.  I now nominate "uncle woman" as two words in the english language never to be paired together ever again.  

    This freaky thing is part of a triple release of figures today from Toy Art Gallery.  If you need something to scare your kids into staying in their room when they're being punished, then you my friend might be in the market for an uncle woman something or other.  Just put it outside their door, and no kid with a healthy fear of anything will dare cross the threshold of their temporary prison.  For $70, it seems worth it.  

    Oh thank you lord it's just a cat figure.  Just look at him, all cute in his little shorts and little suspenders.  Do you know if you happen to die in your home and you own cats that eventually they will start to nibble on your corpse?  It's true, it was in a book written by a former medical examiner in New York.  My cat Jorah bites me on the nose every night while I sleep.  I'd like to think it's because he misses me being awake with him, but I'm realistic enough to know that he's checking to see if the buffet is open yet.  Do you see what that first figure did to me?  It made me a sicko.  $30 will get you one of these cute little guys from T9G.  

    Luftkaiser! Luftkaiser!  I like this little dude.  Maybe because he's German and I've always wanted to visit there.  Or maybe it's the bat wings.  Who doesn't love a good set of bat wings?  No one I know, that's for sure.  This dude sprung from the mind of Paul Kaiju and is kinda giving off a Skeletor vibe with this paint job.  I dig it, and you can too for $45.  

    You can snag all three of these toys when they go on sale at noon Pacific time from http://shop.toyartgallery.com/.