It's been awhile since I've gone full on crazy mode and done a toy review. I just can't do these things all the time cause I put so much into them that I literally have to stay in bed for three days and recover afterwards, which is kinda not ok with where I work or my wife when she has to throw the sheets out. We have a king size bed and those things are freakin expensive. Have you ever noticed the price difference between a queen and king size mattress let alone a set of luxurious sheets? It's like the sleep industry got together and determined that people who are living like ballers/morbidly obese shut-ins are gonna get railroaded for that extra bit of comfort that a larger mattress provides. And even with pillow top goodness the size of Grenada, one of the cats will inevitably puke near my face. Not like, every night, but it's happened once or twice and was scary enough that I think I have phantom puke syndrome now. Don't waste your time asking your shrink about it because they'll say it's not a thing but I know what I go through each time the slightest noise is made while I'm asleep. I got hairball shell shock.
Do you see now why I can't review toys too often? I just wrote an entire college essay about filthy linens and cat vomit. I've got to be in line for a Pulitzer, or Grammy, or something, cause this stuff is gold. Ok, so what we have to talk about today is a purple demon pony named Lil Maddie from Bigshot Toyworks. I'm gonna go all hipster on you now and tell you about how I was waaaaaay into this before it was ever cool. That's because Klim from Bigshot posted a picture on his Facebook page with the original art and I knew right then that it had to be a real toy. So after annoying him with comments like "Hey, this should be a real toy" or "Take my money now" he actually listened and made it into an object that is now making people happy the world over. I haven't had a good delusion of grandeur for awhile, so I'm gonna keep this one nice and shiny in the old frontal lobe and admire just how impressive it really is.
Basically, Maddie looks like if Cthulhu got it on with a My Little Pony and they made the coolest love child since Teen Mom 2. This figure is everything you could want in a toy meant to bring about the end of days. A killer idea, executed perfectly down to the smallest detail, and it looks real nice on my shelf.
Now I know what you're thinking (we've been over the fact that I've got your place tapped). You wanna know how to get one for yourself. I'm gonna tell you. There are actually a couple of ways to buy this, and the first is to go to the Bigshot Toyworks shop at http://bigshottoyshop.com. The second, and perhaps the one you'll find the most interesting, is by supporting the Kickstarter for The Four Horsies of the 'Pocalypse that is coming to an end soon. The project has surpassed its funding mark and now the super extra stretch goals are unleashing even more exclusive stuff. Get in on all the excitement, and get some cool toys by visiting this link while there's still time. If you miss this you'll have to live with the shame and regret for a lifetime, maybe even more.
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