I Present To You the Best Comment Ever Left By a Reader

   

    So yesterday in my post about 3A's new releases I jokingly made a reference to selling one of my kidneys to fund my toy addiction.  Little did I know that through that reference I would be plunged into the world of black market organ trade.  Behold, a comment left on that post:

Attention,
Welcome to irrua specialist special hospital,
Do you want to buy or sell your kidney?, Are you seeking for an opportunity to sell your kidney for money due to financial break down and you don’t know what to do, then contact us today and we shall offer you good amount of money for your Kidney we specialize for top class medical treatment like Heart Surgery, Cancer Care, Spinal fusion surgery , sleeve mastectomy surgery , and other major surgeries. contact us now via: (irruaspecialistspecialhospital@gmail.com) with the follow details below,

name:
country:
phone number:

Good luck to you.

Best Regard,
Dr Tommy. 

    Now I'm not one to judge (ok, I can't even keep a straight face while typing that) but I have two concerns right off the bat.  First off, I appreciate the fact that he's using such a nice, seemingly innocuous name like "Dr. Tommy".  It makes me feel less like my kidney will be removed in a stall next to the milking goats and more like this surgical transaction will take place somewhere that doesn't buy their anaesthesia from DJ the weed man.  But where he starts to lose me is in his sketchy grammar.  You want me to let you remove one of my major organs and you're not sure when you should and shouldn't capitalize your words?  Me thinks not, good sirs.

    A quick Google search led m to discover that they are located in Nigeria, which at first I was thinking would be a plus, cause there's always Nigerian royalty emailing to give me money so I could just show up in person and cut out the whole Western Union nonsense.  Then I did an image search:

     Look at that sign!  That thing screams "come on in and die, stupid American".  My immune system is delicate and could in no way handle the infectious diseases that place is gonna lob at me.  Let's imagine for a second the conversation that went down about cleaning this sign:

Worker 1:  "Hey, you want me to take some of this Windex here and clean the funk off of the sign."

Worker 2:  "That's our last bottle and I've still gotta wash the steak knives for the 3:30 lung transplant."

    This is pretty much the premise for American Horror Story season 12.