Skinner Puts a Hex on The Iron Monster from Miscreation Toys

        I've been thinking about building my own Iron Monster for a while now.  I've been saving all these soda cans, so I guess he's gonna be more of an Aluminum Monster, but that makes him sound kinda weak.  I figure if I layer the cans thick enough he could withstand a pretty brutal attack.  There's also the problem of bringing him to life, which I'm really not sure how to do.  I found some local witches I thought could help but all they wanna do is volunteer at the Renaissance Fair so they can get free admission.  I'd totally pay for them to get in and take em to The Cheesecake Factory afterwards if they could conjure some rotten old souls to inhabit my monster, but it's starting to look like they don't have the witch skills I require.  They need to be more specific in their Craigslist ads.

      You know Skinner don't need no witches to bring his toys to life and strangle your neck meat in your sleep, cause he's got paint infused with ancient demon blood.  That stuff's expensive, but look at how it shines!  These Iron Monster figures from Miscreation Toys have been given the special Skinner treatment and will be unleashed upon the world this Friday, August 14, at noon pacific time.  Only 6 of these will be available and will probably sell out in less time than it took you to read this.  Try your luck at www.theartofskinner.com.