Funko Fools Day at Mothership in Philly

    April Fool's Day is typically reserved for making us all look dumb.  You can't believe anything anyone tells you unless you see proof that has been notarized with a verifiable chain of custody and sworn to under penalty of death.  Even then you still have to be suspicious, cause some folks would literally die to pull a fast one on you.  Fear not though, for there is safe harbor for you on this day filled with lies because Mothership Art Gallery and Designer Toy Store is hosting Funko Fools Days.  You can trade Pop Vinyl figures, see crazy custom ones, or just hang out until you are safe from all trickery.  Everything you need to know is in the picture there and if I'm reading it correctly they even have snacks!  I ran out of snacks days ago but hate going to the grocery store so instead I just complain about it.  

  

"Blown Away" Coarse Omen Figures from Josh Mayhem x Collect and Display

   
    What exactly do birds do in wind storms?  They're so light I just picture them being blown all over the place and then having to make their way back home after the bad weather passes.  Do they have little birdie basements like we do so they can huddle together amid their canned goods?  Surely I could have typed it into my Google machine and easily found the answer, but instead I chose to give you something to ponder at work.  I am nothing if not an expert at wasting time.  (BTW I totally Googled it and the results are fascinating.)

    Josh Mayhem has added his patented wind swept look to a few of Coarse's Omen figures that are an exclusive to Collect and Display.  They are a limited edition of only 12 pieces and will be for sale Friday, March 31st an noon pacific time from https://collectanddisplay.com.  Each one will cost ya $273 American dollars, or the average price of a movie theater soda and popcorn combo.

Gold Sparkle Uglier Unicorn and Shaggy Little Unicorn from Rampage Toys x Tenacious Toys

    Genetics are a great roll of the dice.  Do you ever see a couple that looks like they may have been raised by a family of possums but they have offspring that are beautiful?  The reverse happens all the time too, making you wonder whether someone is letting the waters of their gene pool fill with leaves and dead frogs.  For the love of God cover it with a tarp!

    It's a good thing this Uglier Unicorn from Rampage Toys is at capacity with inner beauty, because his mug is way closer to bridge troll than Brad Pitt.  His companion Shaggy Little Unicorn is all pretty on the outside, but darkness fills her every nook and she will cut you.  These pals are cast in gold sparkle sofubi and are an exclusive to Tenacious Toys.  Unfortunately just like when you have to partner up in science class, the pretty ones are already all gone, but the ugly dude can't wait to breath on your neck while you dissect that frog.  He is like, the nicest guy I swear, and at $35 a fairly cheap date.   

Get him now at www.tenacioustoys.com.  

Voltar Resin Figure from H H Toys

    H.H. Holmes was America's first serial killer and was hung by the neck for his crimes in what is now the parking lot of a grocery store in South Philadelphia.  He is not to be confused with H H Toys, who while also being from Philadelphia have chosen to ply their trade in resin figures rather than murder.  While they may not have a fancy metal placard outside of the super market, the making of toys is more likely to keep them off the gallows.  Except in Texas, as their laws seem deliberately vague to fuel the lucrative death row industry.  Think about it: one trip to the chair is like running a thousand inefficient air conditioners in hundred degree summer heat.  I ain't payin that bill.

    Himmelstass Heimbach Toys are unleashing their latest creation, Voltar, on Wednesday March 29th.  He comes complete with a crystal ball filled with all sorts of information about your future.  Like a casino buffet some of it is good, some of it is bad, but most of it will give you gastrointestinal distress.  This first edition is limited to just 50 pieces and can be found on the aforementioned date starting at 8pm from https://www.etsy.com/shop/samheimer.

Danger Mascot Resin Figure from Tenacious Toys

    It's strange to me that people think because you have cats that you obviously don't like dogs.  I love dogs, I'll have you know, and in fact there aren't any animals that fall outside of the realm of parasites that I don't like.  Even leeches are ok in my book, though my wife is still fighting me on using our basement to farm medical grade leeches for use in hospitals.  That part of the house is pretty much going to waste instead of working for us as a lucrative vampire worm business/tax write off.  

   I don't have the time nor the resources to dedicate to a real dog, but this resin mascot from Tenacious Toys would be a perfect substitute.  Based on the logo illustration from Playful Gorilla, this 2.5 inch figure was sculpted to perfection by Nemo and cast in Tenacious blue by resin wizard Dead Hand Toys.  There will be more colors in the future, but this one will be an open edition to help spread the love of the world's hardest working online toy retailer far and wide.  

    These are available right now for $25 from www.tenacioustoys.com.  

A Plethora of New Releases from Forces of Dorkness

   I love the word "plethora" and try to use it whenever I can as it makes me sound like both a gentleman and a scholar.  And a plethora is the only way to describe this amount of new releases from Forces of Dorkness and the different colors they come in.  Is that Bart Simpson in an R2-D2 outfit, or R2-D2 parading around with Bart's severed head on his dome.  I'm not trying to live your life, so you decide when you pick up one of those little resin dudes for the beyond reasonable price of $19.95. 

    Need some spiritual enlightenment but also obsessed with hunting down Han Solo?  Buddha Fett has the answer to these and even more of life's great mysteries, like how come my cat can stomp around on my remote and get the tv to do things I can't figure out?  He's way smarter than me.  Bring peace to your soul for only $25.00 

  Hahahahahahahahahaha I love this.  Behold, gaze into the confines of the blister pack and look upon all the craps I give.  See how it is empty?  Hahahahahahahahaha.  The perfect gift for the internet troll in your life finally exists, but will they get the not so subtle hint you're throwing down?  Who cares, because them getting it doesn't make it any less funny.  And for only $9.95 you can't find a better deal to turn your haters into your motivators, whatever that means.  Do I have haters?  I had taters the other night and they were delicious and they motivated me to go use my rowing machine.  

   Find these and other treasures at http://forcesofdorkness.storenvy.com.

Tamashii Nations S.H. Figuarts Action Figures from WWE

    When I was a kid, the only wrestling toys we had were these giant rubber dudes with zero articulation and their only move consisted of banging into each other.  There was also a ring you could buy which added such exciting moves as "bouncing off the ropes to bang into each other" and "flying off the top rope to bang into each other."  It was the least amount of action in any figure ever.   Fast forward to the present and things have changed quite a bit, though I doubt anyone is going to let their kids play with these.  

    Tamashii Nations has added the WWE to their line of S. H. Figuarts action figures and the results are pretty awesome.  Featuring a mind blowing 30 points of articulation and interchangeable parts, each figure can not only perform all of the classic finishing moves you love, but do them with impeccable style.  Bluefin has made these available in North America and right now you can relive the famous rivalry of Stone Cold Steve Austin and The Rock.  Hit the People's Elbow, land a Stone Cold Stunner, or just have them cut awesome promos on each other (awesome promos not included).  And later this week you can add Triple H to the mix because you know Vince McMahon loves a triple threat match whenever he can get one.  The Undertaker and Kane will be available starting in July, giving you nearly enough to plan out your own Royal Rumble.  Pick em up now over at Ringside Collectibles. 

     

We're Number 1.....Well Actually We're Number 69!

     Feedspot recently announced the top 100 toy blogs in the entire world and guess who landed at the coveted spot of number 69?  That's right, we did.  And there has to be way more than 100 toy blogs on the planet I would assume, so even just making the list is pretty cool no matter where you fall on it.  Kidrobot's blog landed at number 28, which you may or may not know often features my ramblings about their latest releases.  And no, I did not collude with any foreign entities to up my position on the list and the Congressional hearings will serve to exonerate me of any wrong doings.  

    You can check out the rest of the top 100 by clicking here.  

Tuddy and Inklin Vinyl Figures from Annie Montgomerie x Unbox Industries

    There is no reason to keep making toys everyone, so you can all go home and focus on other endeavors, because the mic has been dropped and the mold broken.  Well, I hope the mold wasn't actually broken because a lot more of these beauties from Annie Montgomerie and Unbox Industries are gonna need to be made.  Now normally I'm not ok with animals having people hands and legs, but these two are just so dang adorable I'm not gonna let my hang ups stop me from loving em.  I would not be surprised if they emerged from my basement holding hands and singing a song about skipping our way to Narnia.  Actually that would surprise the hell out of me being that my crack team of attack cats study pro wrestling like it's their job, which it sort of is.  So let me rephrase:  I would not be surprised if my cats found these two roaming around the house, placed them both in the camel clutch, and made them state their business under penalty of a choke slam through a table.  After which we would of course skip to Narnia.

    Both will be available for preorder starting on March 25th until April 10th.  Each vinyl figure is hand painted to mimic Annie's original anthropomorphic creations in striking detail.  Get yours from http://store.unboxindustries.info.

Paul Kaiju Solo Show at Stranger Factory

 

     I'll admit I know nothing about Albuquerque, New Mexico other than that's where Breaking Bad was filmed and it is also the location of Stranger Factory.  And it's the hardest city name to spell ever. You can not go into trying to type it lightly, as it will wreck every bit of confidence you have in your ability to arrange vowels and consonants like a sane person.  I'll be honest, it owned me pretty hard.

  If you happen to be in the Albuquerque area or have mad frequent flier miles and a day off from work, you should spend your Saturday at Stranger Factory to see Paul Kaiju's solo show.  And you don't have to just see it, you can also buy something super sick to bring home with you and dominate your toy shelves like a boss.  A really mean boss who spits on your union handbook and the guaranteed break times located within.  This show will easily sell out and you have to be present to purchase anything.

Eight Inch Anatomical Dunny from Jason Freeny x Kidrobot

 

    Let me tell you something.  I've had this toy in my hands for a few days now and it is the greatest Dunny ever made.  There, I've said it and if I had a rock tablet, a hammer, and a chisel I'd preserve that opinion for future generations to come.  I remember seeing Jason Freeny's original artwork depicting this guy and thought how cool it would be if they could actually make it.  Then Kidrobot enlisted the amazing production services of Bigshot Toyworks and the result is beyond my expectations.  Now I am a sucker for anything medical to begin with, as you can see right here with my new Dunny posing lovingly with an antique instrument used to explore your darkest of secrets (your butt):
 

    Look how awesome he looks!  Not that he would need much exploration because all of his bones and guts are on full display.  Could you imagine if people all of a sudden looked like this?  Like one morning we all woke up with transparent skin that exposed all of our insides to anyone who wanted to see them?  I feel like there could be some heavy social commentary there.

    This guy goes on sale this Friday (March 17th) and there are two different versions for you to collect:  the regular edition that I have and also a special glow in the dark version that is exclusive to www.kidrobot.com and uber limited at only 200 pieces.  Don't sleep on this one because I'm predicting it's going to be insanely popular and you will seriously regret not having one when you out of the blue decide that collecting human skulls is gonna be your new thing.

I Spent My Sunday at a Horror Convention

**drool**

    Horror conventions are a weird thing.  I like horror movies enough, but when you go to a convention you realize people live that as a life style.  There's an entire wardrobe that goes along with it, a required number of stickers that must cover the rear of your car, and an affinity for wet specimens that I'll never possess.  Sharon and I used to go to these more often, but they're pretty much the same thing every time and I always felt out of place because of my stellar credit score.  I just can't commit on that level to one genre of being, as I like to think I have a more diverse amount of interests than just watching fictional murders occur.  Wow, that sounds like a really weird thing to be into doesn't it?

    We went this time because it had been a few years and because we wanted to meet former WWE Superstar Lita, who may or may not have been my biggest crush in my late teenage years.  Lest you think I was just looking to gawk at a celebrity my younger self found attractive, Sharon was a big fan of hers as well.  We got there and went to see her right away, got a signed picture, shook her hand (which was pretty soft for a professional wrestler.  She must have a killer moisturizing routine) and giggled internally like little school girls.  Having accomplished our sole mission it was now time to peruse the various booths and be persuaded to part with our hard earned money.  Spoiler alert: we were not persuaded to part with our hard earned money.

   There were a few good set ups filled with new and vintage toys, but those were far outnumbered by the amount featuring bad taxidermy/the aforementioned wet specimens, and people who turn regular stuffed animals into weird zombie things.  Seriously, there is an entire underground industry where they make thrift store Care Bears into blood thirsty monsters.  A little paint, some Halloween prosthetics, and you've got the perfect gift for that hard to buy for member of the Manson family.

  We ditched the convention pretty quickly and did the thrift circuit on the way home.  At one stop I got a bit distracted by a crow who was yapping at us and proceeded to lock the keys in the car.  In the ignition.  While it was running.  In my defense crows and ravens are my favorite birds and I've had some fun interactions with them as they are very curious about humans.  This one called a few of his buddies over and if I didn't know better would have sworn they were laughing at me as I was on the phone with AAA.  I'm sure they were just being supportive.

    The only thing I bought, at a Goodwill directly after the car incident, was this plastic cat wall hanging thing, which I plan to paint in black metal style.  It was a $1 and called to me to be repurposed.

Ignore the price tag, cause this pretty kitty was on sale!

    In that same store we also witnessed something I have never experienced while thrifting.  An announcement was made over the loud speaker that merely said "household goods" and people started heading towards the back of the building.  A moment later two employees wheeled out some metal racks loaded with newly priced merchandise.  They parked them right in the middle of the floor then quickly got out of the way.  They barely made it to safety as people swarmed from all sides, grabbing whatever they could as if they were gold plated.  You know that scene in the new Mad Max where Immortal Joe turns on the waterfall and people lose it trying to fill their containers?  It was just like that but less reasonable.  Sharon got pushed by an elderly woman into a baby who probably started crying because he missed out on the busted rice cooker and not from any injury he sustained.  Probably.

    And thus our day was complete.  Ladies, be jealous that your man doesn't understand romantic dates the way I do.



   

GID Patron Saint of Halloween from Sam Heimer

    Our cat has been weirdly obsessed with all of our appliances recently.  He makes me nervous every time I start the dishwasher that I've locked him in there so I always double check it.  The top of the stove is his favorite place to hang out and today he tried to get into the microwave multiple times.  I think he's got some sort of ideas in his mind that they're going to help him develop super powers which will make us unable to stop him from going on the porch and trying to eat the plants.  His evil delusions of grandeur aren't necessarily on the scale of total world domination, but those plants have tormented him for too long and apparently need to be punished.  I'd rather he curse them from behind the safety of our living room window.

    He may not become the next Spider Man, but if he managed to get into the microwave he may just glow like this Patron Saint of Halloween from Sam Heimer.  Only 30 of these resin masterpieces exist and you can snag your very own tonight, Monday March 13th, at 8pm eastern time.  Snag one at https://www.etsy.com/shop/samheimer.

Orange Bake-Kujira from Candie Bolton x Toy Art Gallery

    I'm typing this as I watch NXT and the crowd is completely dead.  I find it hard to enjoy a show when the crowd is library quiet, which makes me happy to live in the rather boisterous North East.  You go and see a show in Philadelphia and you don't know whether to watch the audience or the ring.  We're pretty notorious for our terrible behavior at sporting events but once you're there and a part of it you get addicted and need that energy to enjoy yourself.  Otherwise it's how I would imagine a James Taylor concert to be.

    This Bake-Kujira from Candie Bolton and Toy Art Gallery is looking quite nice in Philadelphia Flyers orange.  It's a beast of a figure standing 11 inches tall and the only way to obtain one is by winning a lottery.   You can enter beginning tomorrow, Friday March 10th through Tuesday the 14th via email at sales@toyartgallery.com.  If you're lucky and you win the purchase price is $150.  And only enter once because otherwise you'll be disqualified for being annoying.  Do you know how much of a dream it would be to kick people out of my place of business for being annoying?  I'd be broke, yet oddly satisfied.


   

Review Time Suckas: Metallic Skeletor Hikari from Funko x Tenacious Toys

   It's been a hot minute since I've done one of my patented world famous reviews so why not review a Hikari figure from Funko.  I've got a few Pops hanging around the homestead but I've never dabbled with their homages to Japanese vinyl, so when Benny from Tenacious Toys asked if I wanted to check one out my curiosity took over.  Behold the results of my investigative study featuring Skeletor.

    First and foremost while the box advertises the figure as Japanese vinyl, the tag hanging from the toy makes it clear that it is inspired by the popular medium in its hand made production and paint application rather than being exactly the same.  The plastic definitely feels similar to my sofubi figures, but I'm far from a scholar on producing toys so I have no idea whether or not they're using the same stuff your favorite artists are.

Product may contain up to 90% blood of thy enemies.  

    Now let's get to what's actually important:  is the toy cool or not.  As a collector I buy stuff based on how it looks and whether or not I like it, not how or where it's made.  You could make a toy out of recycled toilets as long as it looks awesome.  And I'll be honest with you, the Hikari style works better on some characters than others but I think this Skeletor is a win.  He translates well, possibly because he's monster-ish and fits with what I traditional think of as a Japanese toy.  And he looks tough enough to whoop He-Mans behind.  I mean, anyone with a fleshless skull for a head has got to be tough right?  You don't have to work that hard at it when you're bringing that to the table.

    He features three point of articulation located at his arms and neck, so he can point at you in accusatory fashion:

You both smelt it and dealt it.

Ask for hugs:

I'll be gentle.  

Turn and look at you sideways when you say something dumb:

Your opinion was not thoroughly researched.  

Wonder where the hell you're going when he tries to hug you:

I said I'd be gentle. 

    But does he have that one feature that is most important in all Masters of the Universe figures; that one element that proves their authenticity beyond any shadow of doubt?  Does he have a fuzzy pair of man panties?

    There you have it folks.  His butt is indeed covered with the finest of yak hair.  I could have just led with that and saved myself a whole bunch of typing.  

    In conclusion: I went into this not really knowing what to expect but came out of it with a greater appreciation for the product.  If I had hated it I would have told you because I have zero poker face, but it's honestly a cool figure at a price that won't make you have to choose between the collectibles you love and eating dinner for a week.  Again, not all of them are for me, but there are a few more I wouldn't kick out of bed if they found there way into my house.  I meant that exactly as it sounded.

     Tenacious Toys now has this and a bunch of other older Hikari figures at very affordable prices that make them great for customizing as well.  You can find Skeletor, Astro Boy, Optimus Prime, Creature from The Black Lagoon and a ton of others to add to your collection.  Check out the entire line at this link. 

The Debut of Dust Catcher Magazine

    Despite claims to the contrary, the printed word is not dead.  There's something about the feel of actual pages that you can flip and the weight of a work in your hands that can't be replicated by digital means.  And so Dust Catcher Magazine is set to debut tomorrow (Thursday, March 9th) having been printed by actual machines and mailed to your doorway.  It's an English language publication made in Germany that focuses on illustration, character design, and collectibles.  Two of the first artists to be featured, Elegab and Pepe Hiller, have even created exclusive toys to coincide with its release:

    These will be available starting at 11am eastern time from https://www.dustcatchermag.com.

Micro Tuttz and Pharaoh Hounds from Argonaut Resins

   My wife and I have a pact that if one of us isn't home the other won't watch shows that we both love.  That leaves me with some pretty bad options, such as Tiny House Nation.  I like shows where they make things, so that parts cool, but I just can't get behind living in one of those.  The idea is noble, until you get the stomach flu and your significant other can't escape the horrors of it because the bathroom is in the living room which doubles as the kitchen/litter box.  Relationships need some mystery and a decent level of air quality.  And I freely admit that I love stuff way too much and would have a hard time limiting myself to what could fit in a hatch back.  Our walls are packed with art and there are things surrounding us that make us happy, so I can't see the benefit of saving money if you're trapped in what amounts to a hipster prison cell.  Now if there's a show out there that will build me a castle on a mountain with tons of wall space and a moat I would apply right now.

  Some things are ok in smaller versions though, like these Tuttz and Pharaoh Hounds from Argonaut Resins.  These little dudes are 3D printed in resin and perfectly sized to fit in the little nooks and crannies of your collection.  Check em out now over at http://argonautresins.bigcartel.com and add some of these insanely affordable ($15 for 2 figures!!) critters to your regular sized house for grown people.

Aliens Warrior Classic Toy Edition from Super7

    On the tail of the trailer for the brand new Alien film and just a few weeks after debuting at Toy Fair, Super7 is making this big ol figure available for preorder.  I've racked my brain trying to think of something funny to say but I'm drawing a blank.  Have I lost my touch?  Is it time to start writing about high school football for the local newspaper?  Will we ever prove that Ted Cruz is in fact The Zodiac Killer?  The future looks cloudy, but if you want to own this eighteen inch behemoth of a toy you can do so by visiting www.super7store.com.  He'll set you back $195, but if money is truly the root of all evil you should be trying to rid yourself of it anyway.  After you buy one of these send me the rest of your tainted cash and I will dispose of it so it can't hurt anyone ever again.

Southern Fried Gentleman from Bigshot Toyworks

    Well I do declare, if it isn't everyone's favorite chicken man reimagined by Bigshot Toyworks.  No fried chicken lover should be without one of these figures paying homage to the ultimate poultry baron.  And just like everyone has their favorite recipe, there are different versions of this jolly fry daddy to meet your specific tastes.  You've got your regular, which is limited to 100 pieces and your uber rare old timey and golden crispy versions which are limited to 20 pieces each.  All three are available right now from https://bigshottoyshop.com.  

Suck-Pop Gay Empire Pin from The Sucklord

    Not everything you want to do in life is practical.  For instance I'm never going to headline Wrestlemania and I've lightly come to terms with that.  And you are never going to be able to wear one of The Sucklord's resin figures on your jean jacket without having your mental stability questioned.  But fear not, because the always enterprising man behind the brand has solved that problem with this new enamel pin.  For a mere $13 you can take the essence of The Sucklord wherever you go.  Stick it right next to your Def Leppard patch and feel confident as you entire into any business meeting.  Pin it to your lunch box and make that peanut butter and jelly sandwich look like something Gordon Ramsey would punch a baby to eat.  Pierce your ear with it and learn all about infectious disease from your trip to the emergency room.  The possibilities are limited only by your imagination/pain threshold.  

Available now from http://suckadelic.myshopify.com

The Crimson Bust from ETC Toys

    Remember last year when everyone was so stoked on The Misfits reunion and they played two shows and then we all sat with bated breath hoping for a full blown tour?  Yeah, I remember.  What are they waiting for?  I've been patient and it doesn't seem like it's going to happen.  I found an interview Danzig did with The New York Times saying those two shows were it, but supposedly they're fake news so I choose to disbelieve it.  Let's make music great again, people!

    Maybe it's time to hold out hope for more practical things, like winning the lottery, but that doesn't mean we have to let it completely die.  ETC Toys has created a run of Crimson Busts in homage to the greatest punk band of all time and you can own one when they go on sale today, Wednesday March 1st.  Available only from http://www.etctoys.bigcartel.com in an edition of 5, these will go up at noon pacific time.