Blue Oyster Owl Clam from Nathan Jurevicius x Toy Art Gallery

    I'm gonna out hipster all the hipsters with my newest idea.  This is what's gonna secure my place as an eccentric old man years before I need to really be good at it.  First, I'm gonna give all my shirts away and buy a bunch of pocket tees.  No, you can't have them either, I'm gonna mail them to wherever they send those sports shirts from the losing team of championship games so that my magic goes world wide.  Next, I'm gonna get a screech owl and carry him around everywhere in my pocket. Oh my God, I can hear the collective sigh of not only every dude with his typewriter in Starbucks, but every old back woods bro who thought he won the crazy game with his raccoon he walks on a leash whenever he goes into town.  You'd think my wife isn't behind this idea but she wants a screech owl so badly it has blinded her to my madness.  His name is Tilda Swinton by the way and he is not interested in coming to your birthday party unless the cake is made of mice.  Good luck with that.

I love how judgmental they look.  Could you have disappointed a bird any more than this?

    Until I figure out how to buy my pocket screech owl I will practice with a less temperamental stand in like this Owl Clam from Nathan Jurevicius x Toy Art Gallery.  This toy literally consists of a shell fish that is harboring some owl fugitives.  It's pretty nuts, and it can be all yours when this Blue Oyster version releases later today at noon pacific time only from www.toyartgallery.com.

Francis AP Dunny Sets from Scott Tolleson

   Did you know in The Bride of Frankenstein movie that the title character actually had red hair?  It's hard to tell because the film is in black and white, but there ya go.  Now I did learn it on the internet, so it may or may not be true, but if it is that's a fun tidbit in case you're ever on Jeopardy.  I only ask for ten percent of the winnings as your manager.

    Scott Tolleson can make The Bride's hair whatever color he wants because that's called "artistic license."  Which is not considered one of the six points of identification required by the New Jersey Department of Motor Vehicles to get and extra copy of your registration and they don't find it funny if you try that.

   Now The Bride wasn't part of Scott's Odd Ones Dunny Series when Kidrobot released it, so he made her up, cast her in resin, and had her join her man Frankie in holy matrimony (oh and Scott hand painted her).  And the groom got spruced up too with a bow tie and a kiss from his lady.  Each set of figures comes with a marriage certificate, is limited to ten, and will sell for $250 when they're released this Tuesday at 10am pacific time from http://www.stolleart.com. 

Ring of Honor Series 2 Action Figures

    Let me tell you something (you know it's about to get serious when I say "let me tell you something"):  if you are a fan of professional wrestling and have never been to see Ring of Honor you are selling yourself short.  Sharon and I went to our first one recently when they did the War of the Worlds Tour with New Japan and we were completely blown away.  The crowd was insane, which I expected being that we were in the old ECW Arena in South Philly, but the show itself was like nothing we've ever seen.  The matches were fast paced and the characters beyond interesting.  We came home and attempted to watch what normally airs on national television and we couldn't do it.  It was like tasting filet mignon then having someone try and feed you the manager's special.


   Now you can make up your own story lines and create epic battles with these new figures.  This is series two for Ring of Honor and Figures Toy Company and features Adam Cole, Delirious, Bobby Fish, and Kyle O'Reilly.  They're available right now at http://figurestoycompany.com.

    On a personal note, Jinxed in Philadelphia and myself hosted a custom Munny show a few years back and Delirious actually worked on a figure for us, so it's pretty cool to see him get his own in this series.  In fact, I found the picture of it:

Of tokidoki and Crane Machines: An American Tale of Success in the Face of Adversity

  This past weekend the weather was warm and the crane machines were calling me like the quarter stealing sirens they are, so Sharon and I headed down to Wildwood to satiate my arcade lust.  Now I don't consider myself an expert at crane games, but the chest full of prizes I've won for my wife since we've been together would probably say otherwise.  It's filled to capacity with random stuffed toys that I've snatched from plexiglass prisons with the steady hand of a vascular surgeon.  I like to think of myself as a freedom fighter for cheaply made, possibly unlicensed, boardwalk trinkets.

   Sharon is excited no matter what I happen to win for her, or at least she is kind enough to feign enthusiasm as I celebrate my show of masculinity.  But this time was different; this time there were objects marooned on a bed of plastic diamonds that I knew she would want:  tokidoki toys!  Yes indeed, one machine was filled with blind boxed toys from her favorite company.  I procured a roll of quarters from the attendant and set about my quest to win every single one.

    Spoiler alert:  things didn't go quite as planned.  I spent a few dollars trying to maneuver the crane into just the right position to be able to properly secure each box, but all attempts had failed.  Dejected I moved on, trying my luck at other rigged games of chance in order to salvage what dignity I had left when it came to my hand eye coordination, but at each machine the result was the same.  What was happening to me?  Were my powers stolen by some thief in the night?  When I was a baby my grandmother would freak out when our cat slept in the crib with me because she thought it would steal my breath.  Did something akin to this happen and one of my kitties now possessed a useless talent for carnival games?

    My head spun and I felt lost, but unlike a coed on senior week, I was not about to give it up so easily.  I returned to the tokidoki machine and I dug my heels in for a fight.  Determined to play until I was victorious or ran out of quarters, I tried again and again to snatch one of those toys from the gaping chasm of defeat.  A few times I was close, a few others not so much, until finally the claw of destiny grabbed tightly around the four corners of the box.  Breathless seconds past as it raised my prize high above, slammed it to an abrupt stop, then crept slowly towards me.  The claw swung back and forth as if its bounty was putting up one last fight before it finally accepted its fate and was dropped lovingly into the retrieval bin.  I had done it!  I had bested the machine, thus extending our dominance over our creations and putting off the robot apocalypse for a few more years.  The picture above shows my wife's hand lovingly displaying her prize.  And we all lived happily ever after.

   

Kyoot Kickstarter from Lisa Rae Hansen x The Designer Toy Collective

    Here at The Toy Viking I'm all about making dreams come true.  I'm also all about the abolishment of portion control, professional wrestling, petting cats, going to the zoo, flea markets, Norwegian black metal, container gardening, Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt seasons 1-3 (available now on Netflix), and toys.  The last one is really the only pertinent one in this instance, as I'm about to smack you with knowledge of Lisa Rae Hansen's Kickstarter project.  With the expertise of The Designer Toy Collective, Lisa is poised to make her first ever vinyl production toy.  But this won't happen unless you get involved.  If you want to see this little super hero dude fly onto toy shelves around the world then you've got to make it happen.  By visiting this link you not only have the ability to make this a reality, but you'll also come away with sweet rewards in the process.  There's everything from pins, to a Kickstarter exclusive colorway of the figure, to customs from your favorite artists.  Get on it!

Purple Lucha Squid from Germs x Toy Qube

    

   This toy right here has all the stuff I like:  Wrestling and squids.  And it's a toy, which I'm very into.  It was created by a man named Germs, which would not be my first choice for an alias because I am not a fan of unclean hands.  I'm much better than I have been in the past, but still not at the level where my wife can forget to put hand sanitizer in her purse and not expect an epic meltdown.  It's a guarantee that if we run out of the stuff that I'll accidentally touch something disgusting and be without a way to remedy it.  That's why my career in professional wrestling would never take off, because as soon as I had to grapple with a dude that had more hair on his back than his head, or if someone started bleeding all over the place I would forfeit.  Actually that's not the worst persona I could think of.  Get Vince McMahon on the phone!

    I wish Lucha squids were real and their programming already a part of my overpriced cable package.  Until someone figures that out this one from the previously mentioned Germs and Toy Qube will have to do.  This vinyl dude from the deep stands seven inches tall and is sporting a full sized body mask in glittery purple.  Start your federation now by visiting www.toyqube.com. 

Join The Underwear Mutant Parade with Emilio Subira

    Parades are weird.  One of my only parade memories involves Santa riding by on a fire truck in Richmond, Virginia and throwing those strawberry candies with the soft stuff in the middle towards the crowd.  It was the first time I'd ever had those and then years went by before I ever saw one of them again so I assumed the only way to get them was from parade Santas who rained them down from passing municipal vehicles.

   I have a great appreciation for the name of something being a complete description of exactly what it is.  The Underwear Mutant Parade from Emilio Subira leaves little to chance, as you have a gang of mutants (a veritable parade if you will) clad only in the tightest of whities.  Brilliant!

These plastic freaks are available right this minute from emiliosubira.storenvy.com for all your gift giving needs.

It's doubleparlour Friday!!!!!!!

    As the title of this post would suggest, it is indeed doubleparlour Friday!!!!!!  Now while the banks and post office may be open, and you will also find it next to impossible to locate the appropriate greeting card, you will be able to score unique creations from this talented duo.  Gaze up some of today's offerings and cancel your plans for noon pacific time, because you should find yourself glued to https://doubleparlour.myshopify.com ready to strike.  

Baby Proto Villain from The Sucklord

    There was a time in the not so distant past when I was all about collecting Star Wars.  But some of you might have noticed that they produce literal tons of that stuff every year, so I narrowed my focus down to just Darth Vader figures, because he is my favorite character from the films.  Others of you may have noticed that they would release new Darth Vader figures all the time but they were the exact same just repackaged in hopes no one noticed.  I played the game for a while but forced myself to abandon it because no matter how you arranged the figures you could not as a matter of fact build a suitable living structure from them, and to own them all would require my mortgage payment to be a tad short every month.  Sometimes practicality stands victorious.

    The Sucklord has taken my favorite character from my favorite movie and made him small and cute.  This Baby Proto Villain comes bagged with a header card and is available right now for $45 from www.suckadelic.com.  

    

Half Ray Dunny from Jason Freeny x Kidrobot

    Uggh, my guts feel like the great heathen army has made landfall and is systematically destroying all they come across.  What god I have angered I have no idea, but I would happily produce a written statement apologizing for my misdeed.  I won't print it though, because I need to buy more ink and that stuff is expensive.  I've been milking this last cartridge down to fumes.

    There's something to be said for having most of your guts outside of your body and making it easy to diagnose all that ails you.  That something would most likely sound like "gross" or "yuck" from everyone that comes across you, but they're probably just jealous cause you are so unique.  Having your guts on the inside is so 2016.  

   

     Set the trend with Jason Freeny's new Half Ray Dunny from Kidrobot.  This anatomical wonder stands 5 inches tall and was bio engineered by the folks at Bigshot Toyworks.  He (or she I suppose) will come in both white and the Kidrobot.com exclusive black edition with glow in the dark innards.  Both will be available tomorrow, Friday, June 9th, to add a bit of modern art to your cabinets of curiosity.  

Kidrobot SDCC Exclusives are Available for Preorder Now

 

    Are you going to San Diego Comic Con?  If so, I'm very jealous, but also you should go right now and preorder all these Kidrobot exclusives.  Why stress yourself to the point of insanity on whether or not you'll be able to get one of these when you can ensure that they're waiting at the booth for just you?  The other great thing about preordering is that when you're at the convention it feels like you have way more money to spend because these will have already been paid for.  It's a great way to psychologically trick yourself into getting more awesome toys.  This method has been completely tested and proven by me as 100% effective.

    Get your preorder on by visiting https://sdcc.kidrobot.com then sit back and relax knowing that awesomeness is awaiting you to merely show up (with a valid ID that matches your Comic Con name badge).  Gaze upon all that could be yours:

   

Rotten Rexx and Diceratops GID Garage Kits from James Groman x Lulubell Toys

    So your career as the dude who glues dinosaur skeletons back together for the Smithsonian hasn't taken off quite as you've expected.  Whose career really pans out the way you dreamed it in first grade anyway?  If it did there'd be a whole lot of really weird and probably unnecessary jobs out there.  There would be so many ninjas that most would find themselves unemployed.  And "Han Solo" sounds like a fun job, until you realize that being a fictional space smuggler won't keep you current on your child support parents.  But for the dinosaur bone dudes, I've got a solution to your depression.

    From no until June 30th at 5pm pacific time, you can preorder these amazing glow in the dark garage kits from Lulubell Toys.  These dino pals are the creation of James Groman and come completely unassembled just waiting to be put together by you.  It's not too hard as long as you have a hair dryer and some anger issues to work through.  You can get a complete kit for $235 each plus shipping and you can get a different head for $65.  Mix em around to suit your mood or mount one on the wall like some twisted prehistoric trophy hunter.  Put those diy skills to the test at www.lulubelltoys.com.

Blind Bag Cadaver Balls from Splurrt x Toy Art Gallery

   We've all been there: that awkward moment when you're a kid and you find a good cadaver to play with but your parents get all freaked out about germs and the police and whatnot.  But you've already named your cadaver Bob and you share all your best secrets and you made plans to Weekend at Bernies him to show and tell.  Don't be a buzzkill, mom!

    Cadaver Balls from Splurrt and Toy Art Gallery are made of sofubi, so unlike your friend Bob they won't leave questionable fluids on your carpets or introduce your home to corpse flies.  And Cadaver Balls come with four interchangeable heads, which is three more than Bob ever had (and four more than he had after our fishing trip and that ravenous catfish).

     These are sold blind bagged so you can't pick your color, but you can buy up to 3 of them when they go on sale later today at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.

Two New Shows Opening Friday at Stranger Factory

   Anyone can put on one art show with no problem, but it takes cunning, skill, and a bit of psychosis to do TWO art show openings in one place in one night.  But that's exactly what Stranger Factory is doing tomorrow night when they open Toy Makers of Planet Earth and Bats in the Belfry.  

   The first show will feature some of the top toy artists on the planet including:

Mark Nagata, Brandt Peters, Jess Hernandez, Otto Björnik, Sergey Safanov, Junker Jane, Jen Musatto, Silk and Thistle, Victoria Rose, Lana Crooks, Daniel Talone, Steve Ferrera, Scott Radke, Stan Manoukian, JShea, Eric Althin, Kathie Olivas, Sweet Bestiary, Mudmonkey, Tanya Marriott, Art Toy Maison, Vanessa Ramirez, Fanny Kao, Cassia Harries, Sumrow, Tim Lee, Joe Scarano, Aya Kakeda, Ratokim, Munktiki, SeriouslySillyK, Super Secret Fun Club, Scott Wilkowski, Psycho Scimitar, Mizna Wada, Circus Posterus, VTSS, Black Seed, Mr. Clement, and Bob Doucette

    While the second show will feature customs of Brandt Peter's The Night King figure, with interpretations by:  

Camilla d’Errico (pictured), Jellykoe, Drilone, House of Boz, Dolly Oblong, 64 Colors, Tasha Zimich, Igor Ventura, Ian Ziobrowski, Joe Whiteford, Brandan Styles, Ink Visuals, Otto Björnik, Jess Hernandez, Victoria Rose, EL DODO ALBINO, Tokyo Jesus, Kathie Olivas, Brandt Peters, Tim Lee, Joe Scarano, Cassia Harries, Karl Deuble, and SeriouslySillyK

   The opening reception for both show will happen tomorrow night (Friday, June 2nd) from 6-9pm at Stranger Factory In Albuquerque (thank God for spell check) New Mexico.

Milky Bloom Hyper Kraken Raffle from Paul Kaiju

 

    Ok, here's the best case scenario the world can hope for right now:  That idiot from North Korea fires a nuke and it lands in the ocean, mutating sea creatures into massive kaiju, then all the nations of the world band together in some kumbayah moment to vanquish the beasts and save humanity from becoming a great source of protein.  And then America's idiot and all of his cronies fly out to check the damage but one of the monsters wasn't quite dead so it swallows their helicopter whole.  Yeah, maybe I did just write the prequel to Pacific Rim, no big deal.

   Paul Kaiju's Hyper Kraken looks primed to attack an island in the Pacific at a moments notice.  This Milky Bloom beauty will be available via lottery this Sunday, June 4th at 6pm pacific time.  You only have a half hour to enter for a chance to buy one so act quickly.  And if you know Guillermo Del Toro, pass along my movie idea.