Dead Greedy's Beastie Droids to Appear on "The Goldbergs"

    For reasons that remain unknown to me, I am not being called to appear on television.  I'm a pretty easy guy to find, so you would think that somewhere there's a show that's perfect for me.  Hopefully, it won't be Monsters Inside Me, but if I were to ever catch an interesting parasite I'd be more than willing to share that with the world via dramatic reenactments and computer generated graphics.  Maybe they'd even let me write the script, which would stretch their budget to unheard of levels for the amount of explosions alone.  My parasites demand pyro.

   My dude Dead Greedy has been making bootleg figures for a while now, and they caught the attention of one Adam F. Goldberg who loves them so much he's actually put them in his hit sitcom, The Goldbergs.  That's a pretty incredible stamp of approval.  The episode is set to air next week and is entitled "The Goldberg Girls", which may or may not be a play on The Golden Girls, which is absolutely the best show ever about elderly women.  I used to watch that as a kid and while most of the jokes were beyond my innocent mind, I was certain that Sophia was my spirit animal.

    Check your local listings so you can see the episode and buy some cool stuff from Dead Greedy at this link.

Skull Flower Sculpture from Tara McPherson x Toy Qube

    Finally, someone has created the perfect representation for my success with plants.  Sharon is much better at growing things than I am and thankfully for any vegetation we attempt to grow she takes the lead.  The problem is I expect things to act like they would if they had been allowed to grow on their own without human interaction.  Plants have been doing fine without us so how come a little neglect on my part results in their demise?  Have we turned plants into entitled Millennial that need our participation trophies in order to thrive in the world we've created?  Get out there and do your thing rhododendron, I can't take how emotionally draining you've become!

    How awesome would it be if you could actually grow skulls?  I'm sure those companies that make genetically modified plants have accidentally done something like that and promptly had to incinerate it.  Thankfully Tara McPherson's Skull Flower is in no way a danger to our well being, and this staple of her artwork can now be yours in 3D form.  Produced by Toy Qube, you can bring home this morbid bit of horticultural genius in both 5 and 12 inch versions.  Available now from https://www.toyqube.com, these are a much better idea to give your loved one than regular old flowers that will whither away to crispy little corpses.  This one starts off dead!

Christmas Maneki Wananeko Set from Javier Jimenez

    Sharon and I have a cat named Wednesday who has been suffering from some pretty bad allergies. She scratches her ears almost obsessively to the point where she started cutting them open.  We've taken her to our vet, got the allergy testing done, and eliminated everything from the list of possible causes.  Nothing has worked so we decided to get a second opinion.  Now we knew that the person we were taking her to is very popular in our area and we also knew that he believes in a lot of alternative methods when it comes to treatment.  The day of the appointment we're in the exam room going over her backstory when he starts telling us about muscle testing.  Now I figured this was something akin to how they allergy test people by exposing them to substances and watching what the reaction was.  Or if anything it at least involved some apparatus that would make for a great Instagram picture while the cat was wearing it.  Neither of those was even close.  

    In walks his assistant like nothing out of the ordinary is about to happen at all.  They stand on opposite sides of the cat with each placing one hand on her back.  Then the assistant raises her free arm at a 90 degree angle, and he grabs a hold of her hand and pushes down to try and lower it.  With each push he is rattling off words of possible allergens.  If the arm goes down it means she's allergic, but if he is unable to force it from sticking straight out at him then it means she is not allergic.  My face was literally sore as I tried my hardest to prevent my muscles from making the biggest WTF look anyone has ever seen.  I couldn't even make eye contact with my wife because I knew that if I did I would lose it.  It was like being a part of some feline seance as he tried to contact her ancestors for clues about her itching.  Finally, mercy was bestowed upon us and the entire act was over and we placed her back in her carrier.  At least, we thought it was over as he had forgotten about a certain type of food, so he grabbed a bag of it, placed it against the roof of her inclosure with eyes closed, and declared her allergic to that as well.  Now I'm all for the fact that there is actually very little in the world that human beings understand and that modern health care has it's limitations, but next time I'm gonna need a Powerpoint presentation or something to ease my way into it before I'm just nonchalantly smacked with anything like this again.  

    I just needed to tell someone about that so I could come to terms with it, so I thank you for your patience.  No let us continue.  Javier Jimenez is making spirits bright this Christmas season with this festive Maneki Wananeko set.  You'll get two kitties in each pack, with one guaranteed to be that fancy green glitter while the other one will be a surprise color.  Made with luxurious Japanese vinyl, these will be available tomorrow at 17pm Spanish time only from http://www.stickupmonsters.bigcartel.com.   Luckily for you, these kitties will never need to go to the vet.

      

Gotta Burn Em All Resin Figure from Italiux

    I've never ridden a horse.  I'm not opposed to doing so, but facing a lack of trains worth robbing or sleepy mining towns to stroll into, the opportunity just hasn't arisen.  Sharon and I want to take the horseback riding tour through the battlefield in Gettysburg, which I'm sure will be both beautiful and a great source of material to post about once the restless spirit of a Civil War soldier spooks my horse and lands me in the hospital.  I don't know if expecting to end up in the emergency room means we have the best dates together or my threshold for bad ideas has gotten so thin that holes have started to form.

    Now after seeing this figure from Italiux, I shall be sure that when choosing a horse for riding that he is not engulfed in flames.  I was completely unaware of the existence of arson ponies until now, so the head's up before I made a terrible mistake is well appreciated.  Now my wife is telling me that this is based on Pokemon, to which I promptly point at her and yelled "NERD" and now I am now forced to scavenge for my own dinner tonight.  Impulse control Chris; work on your impulse control.

     Standing eight inches high (that's pretty tall) and retailing for $79 each, these figures are available right now by checking out http://italiuxshop.bigcartel.com.  

   

Forest Friend Fox Kickstarter Campaign from Natural Pop

     I like this little fox dude because he reminds me of a meme that my wife and I send each other whenever we're up against a challenge for the day.  Whether it be a job interview, or just trying to stay off of the FBI's most wanted list because people will just not stop working your last nerve, this little picture always seems to do the trick:

    Don't you feel beyond inspired now?  This is what they should hang in every therapist office instead of those inspirational quote posters that make you want to gag with their generic sentiment and stock imagery.  Whoever made this I sincerely hope you are rich now.

   Speaking of money, you should direct your attention to Kickstarter and the Forest Friend Fox plush that you can help make reality.  Then whenever you need a bit of inspiration just look at this little dude and know that he has your back.

    As of this writing there are 18 days left to make it happen and plenty of cool rewards left that could be yours.  Check it out at this link.

Two Fully Funded Kickstarter Campaigns For You To Get In On

    Life is full of uncertainty and no one wants to add any without good reason.  There's uncertainty throughout our jobs, and politics, and I'm fairly uncertain on my days off whether or not I'll put pants on before my wife comes home from work.  Unfortunately for any delivery people that may stop by, probably not.  So in this world where nothing is guaranteed, how about a couple of Kickstarter campaigns that have already reached their funding goals and taken the guess work out of wondering whether or not the toys will actually be produced.  

   First up is Lucky Cat, who despite his upbeat name doesn't appear to have the luck of the Irish or anyone else on his side.  He is the brain child of one Vincent Scala, who you may remember from his previously successful campaign for his Mickey Monster figure.  You can check out all the reward tiers that are still available at this link.  

     To go two for two on cat themed toys I present to you Rato Kim's DIY Box Cat.  This 5 inch vinyl art platform from Discordia Merchandising is a huge canvass for your creativity.  You can paint it. bedazzle it, or just leave it as is until a good idea comes to you.  Our cat Jorah sits in the bathtub sometimes and we believe that the shape of the tub itself is conducive to him gathering his thoughts from the universe.  My best ideas are usually born in some portion of the bathroom, so it's not that far fetched.  You can see all the cool still available at this link.  

Vinyl Bunnywith Figure from Alex Pardee x Mighty Jaxx

   Bunnywith is an inspiration to us all.  How many of us have sat around, watching Jerry Springer reruns and eating pork rinds by the pound rather than getting out there and living our dreams?  And yet here is a fictional rabbit, without the benefit of arms, that is making it happen everyday despite such obvious challenges.  In these dark times it is so important to recognize the good in the world and this bun bun is someone we can all look to for guidance.

 Bunnywith has shown up in hundreds of incarnations courtesy of its creator Alex Pardee, and now Mighty Jaxx is turning him into vinyl.  Available for a mere 24 hours starting on Saturday, December 9th at 9:59am eastern time.  The final edition size will be determined by the amount ordered, and stuff.  Buy one for yourself at www.mightyjaxx.rocks.

The 2017 MF Toy Show and Krampus Art Show

     Do you think there's a place somewhere that is populated by goat people like Krampus?  Chewbacca came from an entire planet of Wookies, so it's not out of the question to think some unchartered northern island is loaded with Krampus families.  There's mommas, and daddys, and wee babies whose favorite game is beating little human dolls with sticks.  Krampus himself is like their Beyoncé, as he's their most successful citizen.  But he's better than Beyoncé because his widely popular albums are actually listenable.  Take that.

    If you're a fan of Santa's evil little friend then you should check out the MF Toy Show and Krampus Art Show (that's a mouthful) in Brooklyn this weekend.  Curated by Mike "Nemo" Mendez and Moses Jaen, tons of your favorite toy customizers and artists will be represented with their take on Santa's more sinister half.  All of the info you need to go are listed in the picture above, so check it out and then spend a nice Saturday night in Brooklyn at MF Gallery.