Seafoam Dewdrop Resin Mini Figures from Chris Ryniak

    As I was attempting to write this post one of my cats jumped up on my desk, and peed on one of my work shirts.  No hesitation, just like it was something completely normal that we do everyday.  I'm about ready to call that Guy Fieri looking dude from Animal Planet to come over here and kitten whisper some better ideas to her.  Oh, and not only that, when she was done she went downstairs and punched one of the other cats in the face hard enough to leave a shed claw stuck in her nose.  Apparently she's become a drunken step dad over night and I am not cool at all with this phase.  Why couldn't she just go goth and dye her hair black and write Marilyn Manson lyrics on her notebooks like every other disgruntled teenager?

   Dewdrops are way too innocent looking to every spring anything like that on you.  Just look at that sweet little face and those big eyes.  My clean work clothes wouldn't have to all be washed again because they would still smell like Tide if I had a house full of these.  Chris Ryniak's little resin buddies have been cast in a brand new seafoam color way and will be available this Saturday, March 3rd at 3pm eastern time exclusively from www.bindlewood.com.  

Death Jaguar Kickstarter Campaign from Rocom

    When it comes to giant robot weaponry, you just can't go wrong with an axe.  Anyone that would use an axe as their primary fighting tool is someone that should be feared and avoided at all costs.  That dude is either stone cold crazy or the deadliest man on the planet and either way it spells bad news for his opponents.  During the American Civil War there was a group of dock workers from Louisiana that charged into the first battle of Manassas wielding Bowie knives after discarding their muskets, which must have looked as insane as it sounds.  They didn't make it very far, so they were more of the "crazy" variety rather than the "complete badass" sort, but what can you do.  

    This is Death Jaguar, a nine inch vinyl killing machine from toy designer Rocom.  He is part of a Kickstarter campaign that as of this writing is 80% funded with 22 days still to go and plenty of rewards left for you to obtain.  There's different color figures, customs, original art, and just about anything else you can think of to support the narrative of this intriguing looking character.  Check it out by clicking here.

Chinese New Year Resin Mascot from Tenacious Toys

    It is fitting that it is they year of the doggo, because I am obsessed with those dog speak memes that are popping up everywhere.  Here let me give you an example:

    So good.  They harken back to the I Can Has Cheezburger days when memes were pure and innocent and mostly concerned with the inner most thoughts of the animals we love.  Speaking of the word "meme" itself, I used to work with a dude who pronounced the word "may may" and couldn't wrap his head around the fact that he was completely wrong.  I think he does performance art now which seems fitting for someone who refuses to learn new things.

    In honor of Chinese New Year Tenacious Toys has released a red version of their resin mascot doggo.  As of this writing there are only 7 left available for preorder so you should direct your attention to www.tenacioustoys.com and secure yourself one before they are all gone.  Each one stands 2 and a half inches high and is one of the last things actually made in America.

Lucky Katju from Chris Pyrate and Strangecat Toys

    One of my cats got sick this week with a bit of abdominal distress and had to go to the vet.  He complained the entire way there to the point that it sounded like his meows were honest attempts at speaking English.  It seemed like it would be as much torture for Sharon and I as it would him, but that was until every woman at the vet's office fell in love.  From the receptionist to the tech he had found himself in the harem of his dreams.  The tech was his favorite of the bunch, and she was so smitten with him I expected her to take off her wedding ring and move into our home so they could be together.  He was hamming it up the whole time too, rubbing against her and purring.  He was so happy that he didn't make a single noise on the way home as dreams of his new girlfriend kept him occupied.  Thank God he's been fixed or we might have had a real problem.

    Had he still been the whole man he was born, I'm sure my cat would be the terror of cities far and wide to reach the one he loves.  I feel something similar would occur when looking at this Luxky Katju from Chris Pyrate and Strangecat Toys.  Sure, he looks all sweet now, but keep the object of his desire away from him and he could level our infrastructure like the best of them.

    This is the first ever production toy from the folks at Strangecat and he is available for preorder right now.  Standing 7 inches tall, made of polystone, and featuring a skeletal fish buddy, he can be yours for only $60.  He is limited to 50 pieces and available only at https://strangecattoys.com.

Pictures from Toy Fair 2018

    Sharon and I made a quick trip to Toy Fair on Sunday before we went to the Museum of Modern Art.  We struck quickly, like ninjas or cobras or something and there was some pretty cool stuff on display that we've already started making room for.   Check out the pictures we took on Facebook at www.facebook.com/TheToyViking.

Perv  

Baphomaniac Flesh Edition from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    Ok, I'm gonna be the one to have to say it I guess.  The fact that there has yet to be a Hulkamaniac version of the Baphomaniac is a serious misstep and can no longer go unnoticed.  This flesh edition of Martin Onitveros and Toy Art Gallery's fun little guy would be the perfect base for a steady handed customizer to realize what the universe desperately wants.  Then there will be no doubt in anyone's mind what you would do when Baphomania runs wild on you.  Say your prayers and eat your vitamins.

   Of course you don't have to paint this eight inch tall beast of sofubi perfection.  You can leave him just the way he is and marvel at his every nook and cranny.  But now that I've planted the seed of creativity in your brain, will you be able to resist visiting your favorite art supply store for a bit of yellow and red paint?  The choice is yours when this dude goes on sale tomorrow, Friday the 16th, at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.  

Iron Maiden MUSCLE Figures in Red from Super7

   Nothing calls to mind Valentine's Day quite like Iron Maiden.  I can't help it if you choose to disagree and label yourself as unromantic, that's on you.  Super7 is doing its part to ensure they get the credit for being the ultimate mood setters by releasing this three pack of M.U.S.C.L.E. figures.  Cast in the ultimate lover's color, this limited set featuring a few different incarnations of the band's mascot Eddie can be had now for only $6.00 at www.super7store.com.  

Roses will die, but Iron Maiden will live forever.  

Sweet Tooth Marbled Cestoda from Miscreation Toys x Lulubell Toys x Toy Art Gallery

    I scream, you scream, blah blah blah.  Talk about the low hanging fruit of ice cream jokes.  I'm above it, so I'm not gonna do it, even though I could imagine someone screaming if they ran into one of these Cestodas from Miscreation Toys.  Standing at 11 inches tall, dude could take a bite out of your calf muscles and lay eggs in the hole before you realized what has happened.  He looks parasitic and quick, which is not a good combination for you.  But he does come in a pretty array or marbled colors that remind me of those giant tubs of Neopolitan ice cream my mom used to buy, the effects of which ensured I would never make the school bus in the morning and would have to be driven in the mini van.  The effects of lactose intolerance stretch way beyond stomach discomfort.

    Lulubell Toys and Toy Art Gallery have formed an alliance to bring you this limited edition preorder.  Happening now until the 16th, which for those keeping track is this Friday, you can secure yourself one of these big ol sofubi masterpieces for $275 plus shipping.  Get on it now at www.lulubelltoys.com.

New Painted Edition Wing Kong from Super7

   My favorite gorilla story happened while my wife and I were at the Philadelphia Zoo.  There they have a very spacious outdoor enclosure as well as an indoor one where they can climb and put sticks in their butts (that's my second favorite gorilla story) and whatnot.  We walk into the indoor portion because that offers you the ability to get as close to them as their indestructible glass will allow and they really aren't paying us any attention.  We stand there for a few minutes to see if they'll do anything interesting when an Amish family approaches from behind us.  All of a sudden this one gorilla rushes over to the glass and sits down right in front of them like it's the craziest thing he's ever seen before.  This dude is seriously giving them the once over like they were on exhibit and instantly I didn't feel bad about the time I was trying to take pictures of one of their horse drawn buggies parked outside of Wal-Mart because it seems all creatures are equally fascinated by the Amish.

The end.

    Make your own monkey memories when this new version of Wing Kong from Super7 debuts today (Wednesday, February 7th).  He's going to be unleashed on a very expecting public at 3pm eastern time at www.super7store.com.  Quantities are limited so act with a sense of urgency, folks.

Dresden Frau Dark Parade MS from 3A

    Just when you think things couldn't get any dumber in American politics, the moron that is our president has taken a page out of Chairman Mao's book and ordered a military parade through our capital.  It's obvious that he feels inadequate in more ways than any sane person could have ever imagined, but would someone please tell him that no matter how many ballistic missiles he parks in front of the Smithsonian, that it won't make his wittle guy any bigger.  It won't make his hair not look like a dust bunny, it won't make anyone donate money to his idiotic wall, and it certainly won't wipe away the regret that is plastered on the face of his wife in every photograph.  What we as Americans should do is on this day of his so called parade gather and block it from ever occurring.  Stand thousands deep and let it be another massive failure in what has already been an overflowing septic tank of a presidency.  

    I can assure you that despite any recent advances in military technology, none of these will be marching in our parade that never happens.  If they were I'd still be totally against it, but I'd be a little more intrigued.  Ashley Wood and 3A have carved quite a niche reimagining warfare and the weaponry involved, but this is by far my favorite of their interpretations.  Oh come on, don't tell me if you were about to be mowed down by machine gun fire this isn't who you'd prefer to be doing it.  

   Available starting tomorrow, February 8th, this is a Bambaland exclusive and will only be found at www.bambalandstore.com.  Our president is still a moron, in case you forgot.  

Burger Bandit Wolf Thing Bat Mother from Joseph Harmon x Toy Art Gallery

   Oh, I do love every time there is a new Wolf Thing Bat Mother figure to write about because the titles of my posts sound like I just played dictionary roulette when creating it.  And this dude might be the best of them all because not only is he called a Burger Bandit, but he's painted up to look like an actual hamburger.  Being an American this pleases me more than you could ever understand and to show my appreciation I will now share with you the best hamburgers I've ever eaten.  The all time best was at an Irish pub in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania.  There was something interesting mixed in with the meat itself which gave it a unique flavor that has yet to be topped by any hamburger since.  My second best hamburger was consumed in Jackson Hole, Wyoming and was comprised of buffalo meat.  This was so delicious I wanted to slap the table and curse but I didn't since my wife's grandmother was sitting across from me, even though I'm sure her vocabulary could make mine blush like a debutante.  I didn't want to be shamed in my word choice.  The third best hamburger ever was at a now defunct restaurant on the Eastern Shore of Virginia.  The place looked like someone had abandoned a house, then some amazing chef's moved in claiming squatters rights, and did absolutely nothing to change the crumbling decor.  The dishes were miss matched and Sharon found a toothbrush laying on the bathroom sink, but the burger made me proud that my family settled there four hundred years ago.  Honorable mention goes to an Irish pub in New Hope, Pennsylvania, which makes me wonder what ground beef secrets these Irish folks are passing down through the generations.

    I'm beyond hungry now so let's get these particulars down so I can go eat.  Joseph Harmon not only created this culinary freak of nature, but he hand painted each one himself making the The Hamburgler look like a common criminal by comparison.  Add one to your collection today (Friday, February 2nd at noon pacific time) by visiting www.toyartgallery.com.  They'll be $65 each and do not come with fries or a soda.  Those are extra, boo boo.