New Rampage Toys Exclusives from Tenacious Toys

    I have lived the majority of my life ignorant to the fact that there are some people who believe dinosaurs are a hoax.  I can't remember how this was brought to my attention, but a few years ago I found myself perplexed at the idea of it being a total conspiracy.  As far as epic pranks go it would be a pretty good one I guess, though I struggle to see an end game.  The entire point of conning someone is the big reveal, otherwise they never know that you got one over on them in the first place.  Maybe the guy that planned the whole thing died before he could prove us to be morons and having kept his plan a secret no one else was able to let us in on the joke.  Nope, still sounds as idiotic as the Earth being flat.  

    Rampage Toys certainly believes in the former existence of dinosaurs, though his ideas about their ocular anatomy differs slightly from the fossil record.  What they lack in depth perception they make up for in charm, and these sets of reptilian friends are about as cute as any lizard can hope to be.  These, along with three unicorns of varying ugliness, are all exclusive to Tenacious Toys and available for preorder as we speak.  Secure them for your collection by visiting https://www.tenacioustoys.com.  

Seatus Kickstarter Campaign from Gruesome Toys

   The sea may be a cruel mistress, but the world of toy production is an expensive one.  While many of us may have killer ideas for a vinyl figure not many of us have the stacks of cash laying around to make it happen.  Thankfully creative types can turn to a website like Kickstarter to make all of their dreams come true, which is exactly what Gruesome Toys have done with their debut figure Seatus.  This salt water dwelling critter is on the home stretch of being produced and now needs your help to get him all the way there.  By now you know how this works:  you select a level to pledge towards their goal and you get sweet rewards like exclusive colorways of the toy and tons of other extras.  As of this writing they are just over half way funded and you can help by checking out this link.

We Were Ranked #26 According to Rankedblogs.Com

   A website by the name of Ranked Blogs has ranked us number 26 in the world!  If this were the Olympics we're nowhere near medal contention, but they'd probably let us keep our warm up suits.  Hey, they may even fly us back home for free.  I have no idea what criteria they use to rank websites; if they use stolen Facebook data or ask a Ouija board, but it's always nice to be recognized even when you're not sure what you did.  Unless that recognition is from a law enforcement agency, because then I'd prefer to remain ignored. 

   Thanks again and I'll keep pretending like I have any idea what I'm doing.

GID Nuclear Nightbreed Glampyre from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    

    Officially it is the third day of spring, which to me means chirping birds, trees growing their leaves back, and weather that is warmer than the bitter chill of winter.  Instead what I have outside my window is about 6 inches of snow.  This is completely unacceptable.  I have done my fair share of shoveling and I have certainly discovered my fair share of black ice on darkened roadways.  Yeah, I could move to Florida and experience nice weather the majority of the year, but then I'd have to worry about getting bitten by some hillbilly with a Monster Energy Drink logo tattooed on his arm who takes off from working at the alligator farm for "religious reasons" whenever the Insane Clown Posse releases a new album.  I'll deal with the snow.

    Martin Ontiveros is keeping those chill winter vibes alive with this glow in the dark Glampyre.  Produced by Toy Art Gallery and hand painted by the man himself, this limited edition run of soft vinyl figures will retail for $180 each.  But wait, there's more...

    Three hand painted one-offs as well?  When uniqueness is a must for your collection then you've gotta snag a toy so limited you're the only one that owns it.  Releasing at the same time as those frozen looking dudes up top will be these three dudes you see before you.  Each is one of a kind and will be $250 each.  Treat yourself when they all go on sale tomorrow, Friday March 23rd, at noon pacific time at www.toyartgallery.com.  

Scott Wilkowski Offering Customized Resin Infected Kittens

    If the title or anything like it was ever posted on Craigslist you can consider yourself warned about how much of a bad idea it would be to email that dude.  I myself have obtained things off of that sketchy website ranging from taxidermied birds to vintage cookware, but each time I did it I went into the transaction with the knowledge that I may become a Dateline NBC special.  Some people skydive, I buy preserved bird specimens from a person whose house can't been seen from the road.  I like to live dangerously.

   Scott Wilkowski is not peddling diseased felines that escaped the CDC, but is actually offering up a resin masterpiece that you can customize the colors of.  That's right, you can redeem any other bad decisions you may have recently made by helping Scott create perfection.  When placing your order at http://www.scottwilkowski.com all you have to do is pick your outer color AND the color of the inner skeleton.  Personally I would choose orange on the outside and black on the inside, which are the colors of Halloween, the Philadelphia Flyers, and the idiot running our country into oblivion.  I'm only ok with the first two.

   Standing five inches tall, hand cast in resin, and partially designed by you, each one will be $300.

http://www.scottwilkowski.com

Darth Knuckleduster from Killer Bootlegs

    

     I used to collect Star Wars stuff exclusively before I got into vinyl toys, but there was way to much stuff being produced to keep that going.  So I focused instead on collecting the greatest villain of all time, Darth Vader.  That was until for every one figure I bought they'd release three more versions of it in different packaging.  Buying toys shouldn't be like trying to kill the Hydra, so I've mostly thrown the towel in on that too, save for the odd piece every once in a while.  I had never thought about Darth Vader tribute toys before though, so now I feel myself (and my credit cards) getting sucked back in.

    Killer Bootlegs has made a big old vinyl version of his Draco Knuckleduster figure and painted him up to look like everyone's favorite asthmatic evil doer.  And this thing is more limited than the amount of good plot points in The Last Jedi.  Dropping tonight at 6pm cst exclusively through http://killerbootlegs.storenvy.com, you can add him to your growing Imperial forces for $100 (which includes shipping).  

  

I'm Still a Toys R Us Kid

    The news of Toys R Us closing down really hit me yesterday, as Sharon and I took a last walk through our local store before the liquidation signs erupt like small pox down every aisle.   My earliest memories of the store involve the location in Newport News, Virginia.  I remember walking in and there would be this huge wall and multiple rows of shopping carts that greeted you as you entered.  Once you turned the corner it was like looking out over the ocean and trying to fathom seeing its end.  Shelves were packed full to bursting with Star Wars and G.I. Joe and He-Man figures that would be the featured cast in epic narratives.  Those same pristine toys would end up caked in mud, water logged in the bath tub, and faded by their time spent outdoors, but for that moment in the store they were more than just mass produced bits of plastic: they were gateways to my imagination.  

   I remember when the original Nintendo system came out and my brother and I got one that Christmas.  We'd fight over who got to play and for how long and then when it was time to get a new game we'd fight about that until some sort of compromise was reached.  Then on the fateful day we'd head to Toys R Us and their aisle that was just pictures of box art and little paper slips beneath it that indicated how many were left in stock. We'd hope and pray the entire car trip that there would be at least one slip left for the game we wanted, because leaving empty handed was not an option.  Sometimes you got lucky, sometimes we ended up with a second choice, and sometimes we left with nothing but a promise we'd try again the next week.  No matter how much older I get, I've still never developed a good sense of patience, but I am way less likely to throw a tantrum. 

    I'll certainly miss it and I'll always be thankful for how much of a role it had in shaping my life.  

   

Back for Seconds Custom Toy Show from Zard Apuya at PIQ

    Looking at these custom figures from Zard Apuya is making me ridiculously hungry.  I've been stuck inside all day from a snow storm and have just about eaten through all of our emergency rations.  Even the stale food that I somehow keep forgetting to throw out is starting to look appetizing as my boredom level reaches unprecedented heights.  And you know what's really cruel?  Most of what I would normally watch on tv is either in reruns or have been ditched in favor of continuous weather coverage in which they send reporters to different areas to confirm that yes, it is indeed snowing.  You know how interesting that is after about 20 minutes when all you want to do is go to the store and buy junk food?

   This Saturday you should really have a little something to eat before you see Zard's "Back for Seconds" custom show at PIQ in New York.  In case you have yet to scroll further or have not yet picked up on the prevailing theme of this post, everything is food related.  Just look at some of them and tell me that they don't make you feel like you haven't eaten in three days.  Those candy bar dudes especially look like the real thing, so if you're going make sure to exhibit self control and try not to bite one.  

    The show is opening at their Grand Central Terminal location right in Manhattan, and Zard himself will be hanging out from 2-4pm.  If you can't make it, the 60 (yeah I said 60) customs will be available online that day at www.piqgifts.com.  

Candy Corn Kuma from Circus Posterus X Mana Studios

    As I type this there is a huge snow storm happening outside as part of our second Nor'easter in as many weeks.  I don't mind it that much, but when it started today it was also thundering and lightning, which is really weird to me.  Everything is covered in a blanket of white, then a bolt of lightning flashes above it with an almost blinding brilliance, soon followed by an earthquaking thunder clap.  Throw in a tornado and we'd really have a winter horror story worthy of a SyFy Network feature.  Oh, and sharks.  Gotta have sharks.

    If we can have spring and winter weather in the same week then I think it is perfectly acceptable to start mixing up our holidays as well.  So this year we're switching out St. Patrick's Day for Halloween.  Circus Posterus inspired my shake up of this year's calendar the moment I saw this  Candy Corn Kuma.  Cast in resin by the folks at Mana Studios and then hand painted, this will have you trading in your green shamrock apparel for orange and black without a second thought.  Standing 9 inches tall and limited to only 30 pieces, he can be yours right now for $200 by visiting www.circusposterus.com.

Acorn Worry Beans from Taylored Curiosities

    I've got stress.  I know we all do, but there hasn't been a week that's gone by in the past month that I haven't had a cat at the vet.  We got upset stomachs, bladder issues, and allergies that are plaguing my kitties and my credit card statements.  How the hell do people with kids do it?  My brother in law's three kids had the stomach flu and each spent the day clutching a trash can on the couch while watching tv.  I mean, when you compare it to spraying bloody urine all over the basement door the kid thing doesn't seem that bad, so I've changed my mind and determined that people with children have it easier.  Unless your kid is peeing blood all over the house, then you really do have your hands full until the state steps in and incarcerates the little weirdo.

   I am unable to see the relief to my stress as it peaks it's beautiful face over the horizon, but that doesn't mean it's not on its way.  If you have worried yourself to the point of perpetual nausea, Taylored Curiosities has the perfect solution with this Acorn Worry Bean.  Made with polymer clay and real acorns, this little dude is ready to take all of your troubles on himself, like Atlas with a big ball of stress upon his shoulders.  

    Handmade and available now, you can own one now by visiting http://tayloredcuriosities.com.

Fatt Choy Bao from Scott Tolleson X Pobber Toys

    I will chase a brown bear into the woods just because I've never seen one in the wild, but I'll be damned if I put anything other than a plain hamburger in my mouth during dinner.  That last part's a little extreme, but I'm anything other than brave when it comes to food.  My wife spent a lot of her younger years in Taiwan and I remember the first time she took me to the Asian supermarket while looking for her favorite items.  As a southern kid with a cardboard palette I was so far out of my element it was probably embarrassing.  Since then I've tried to broaden my horizons if for no more reason than for her to not feel forced to feed me chicken nuggets every day.  You're a real gangsta if your wife buys you the dinosaur shaped ones, fyi.

    I couldn't eat anything that had a face like this.  He's so cute and sweet looking and you know you can't eat just one so chomping down on him will be both traumatic and non filling, which is a really bad combination.   This little dude from Scott Tolleson and Pobber Toys is decked out to celebrate Chinese New Year and is available now to help you commemorate the year of the dog.  Pick one up for yourself before the party's over at www.pobber.com.