I don't get the appeal of mazes. Why is it that ever fall people are so damn excited to pay to get lost in a corn field for hours? I love to take a walk in the woods every now and then but that's more of an adventure. Who knows what abandoned structures or wildlife or dead bodies you may come across. But a corn maze is just a bunch of dried up stalks cut in a pattern meant to confuse you and cause arguments with your significant other who will trash your navigational skills and whose father would have never given you permission to marry his daughter if he had even the hint of your lack of leadership abilities under duress. And there's not even a minotaur at the end that you have to battle, just some kid making minimum wage that directs you back to the parking lot. They should have a counselor there to repair all of the emotional damage this "fun" tradition inflicts on relationships.
I don't know where you would go to hire a minotaur for a corn maze, but if you really cared about your guests you would go the extra mile and find out. Can you imagine how great that would be? Especially for the first people to go through it, imagining that the monster at the end is just some guy from the haunted hayride in a suit, when in fact it is a living, stinking, bull monster who likes to crack skulls for fun. I can and I am delighted. This monstrosity from Splurrt would be the perfect anchor to any maze, though he'd need to be a tad bit bigger to inspire any real fear. At ten inches tall he is an impressive toy though and you can add one to your collection this Friday (August 10th) when he goes on sale from Lulubell Toys. Extremely limited and featuring crazy holographic paint, and retailing for $135, get one when they go on sale at noon pacific time from https://www.lulubelltoys.com.
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