Moonstone Polyresin Statue from Pascal Blanche x House of Gog

    I like my women like I like my coffee: heavily armed and covered in the bones of their enemies.  How else do you think I knew my wife was the one for me?  Fans of Heavy Metal magazine may recognize this temperamental lady from the cover of issue number 270, or from the wall you tacked it to once you ripped it off.  Pascal Blanche is the man behind the original art of this demon hunting lady, and she looks well equipped for the task at hand.  Except clothing wise, which when you think about it is really smart as you don't want your prey latching onto you and tearing up your church clothes.  And the blood stains, can you imagine the various types of blood stains that an extraterrestrial demon would cause?  You'd just have to throw everything away.

     This is the first ever polystone statue from House of Gog and they're making one hell of a debut.  The detail is outrageous from her body armor, to her not legal no matter what kind of permits you have weaponry, to that mound of biological and mechanical debris she so proudly stands upon.  Now like any good woman she's gonna set you back a few bucks, but standing over 18 inches tall and loaded to the gills with extras, you're certainly getting your money's worth.  Check her out for yourself by visiting https://houseofgog.com.

Five Points Fest Exclusives from StrangeCat Toys

Five Points Fest is this Saturday and Sunday and I have been keeping a mental tally of all the stuff I want so far.  I've just about reached full mental capacity, so I've had to forget some things in order to make room.  Strangecat Toys has got so many exclusives that will fill their booth #423 that I have compiled the ones I know about so far here for you to keep track of.  That way you don't have to go and forget stuff like where you live, how to drive a car, or the fact that you're allergic to shrimp.  I'm pretty much saving lives.

Tenacious Toys Exclusives for Five Points Fest

   Five Points Fest is happening in Brooklyn next weekend and we are starting to see those ever important exclusives pop up online.  Tenacious Toys will be holding it down at booth number 426 and were kind enough to put detailed descriptions in each picture as if they anticipated that I would be running late for work today, limiting my ability to make witty comments about each.  That's forward thinking at its best.

The Mutator Ultrus Bog from Skinner x Lulubell Toys

    Is this the greatest Ultrus Bog that has ever been created?  I could argue for it, as it arrives just in time for the summer months looking all cool and refreshing like an evil snow cone.  It's no secret that this figure is one of my favorites of all time and this version is only stoking that fire of desire to five alarm levels. 

   Skinner's epic lord of the underworld has achieved next level status by being double cast in luxurious Japanese vinyl.  First a layer of clear plastic was poured, then followed by a layer of orange to give it a crazy, multi dimensional feel that will put you in direct contact with your infinite selves.  That's a lot to ask from a figure, yet it delivers in every way.  Lulubell Toys will have a limited run of only 20 of these sweet bay bays available when they go on sale this Saturday, May 25th, at 9am pacific time.  He costs $125 plus shipping and will be offered exclusively through https://www.lulubelltoys.com.  

1/6th Scale Jon Snow Figure from Game of Thrones x threezero

    I can't believe that after eight seasons, Game of Thrones has come to an end.  I enjoyed this last season and contrary to popular internet opinion I though the finale was a fitting send off for the characters.  My wife asked me my opinion of it as soon as the show ended but I had a hard time formulating how I felt, but my only disappointment was in the fact that it was over.  I won't post spoilers here in case you haven't seen it, but know that what I'd really like to do is dissect the entire thing and show all the people that signed that redo petition what they missed out on by being butt hurt.

   There were lots of twists and turns this final season, maybe none more so than with Jon Snow.  His destiny didn't pan out quite the way we all expected, but the show literally killed of its most real world famous character in season one, so we shouldn't be that surprised that they were willing to take risks.  He's been dead, been a king, been exiled, and been chastised for not petting the goodest boy in the realm.  Dude has got to be stressed out, am I right?  This figure depicts Jon as he has appeared in the final season and comes with more detail than was packed into Sansa's dress she wore at the end (did you notice the embroidery on the inside of the sleeves? ).  He looks so life like that if you tell him he knows nothing he just might scowl at you.  He also comes with all the accessories one could possibly need for any situation that could arise in Westeros or beyond.

    You can preorder him now from threezero for $188 usd which includes shipping world wide.  He can be found at https://www.threezerohk.com.

Mulan Clear Red Edition from Awesome Toy

 

    If you don't have boob rockets in your arsenal are you even trying to win at war?  Since the moment we are born we are all obsessed with em, so it's fitting that that obsession has turned on us quicker than a kitchen appliance in a Stephen King novel.  Boobs are the most powerful things on Earth and I have a recent example to prove it.  My wife and I recently took our nephew to an exhibit on the Marvel Universe and through the majority of the film props and original comic pages he declared his boredom.  Then we come upon Black Widow's costume, who is portrayed by the ample actress Scarlet Johansson.  He stopped dead in his tracks, eyes unblinking, mouth agape, and suddenly he became very interested in the world of comic books.  The boy was hypnotized and I swore I could hear the song Dreamweaver playing in his mind.

     Awesome Toy is harnessing the power of the ta tas with their sofubi figure, Mulan.  Cast in clear red soft vinyl, this babe of the battlefield will keep all you hold near and dear safe with the power of BOOOOOOOOOOOOOB ROCKETS!  Did I mention those earlier?  Each figure is $90 plus shipping and can be had by following these easy directions:

HOW TO BUY:

If you are interested please email the following info to:

sales.awesometoy@gmail.com

1. Email Title: MULAN Clear Red

2. Your Full Name

3. Your Shipping Address / Phone Number

4. Your Paypal Address

5. Your instagram or facebook account (optional)

Note that cancel or unpaid order will be banned from our future sales.

New Game of Thrones Action Figures from McFarlane Toys

    The final season of Game of Thrones is here and the online world has certainly expressed their mixed feelings about it.  I don't envy the people behind the show, as every detail will be picked apart and scrutinized like a rotten corpse being eaten by opinionated vultures.  McFarlane Toys is now offering you the chance to reenact or completely reimagine this final season however you see fit with their new line of six inch action figures.  Each one is insanely detailed as you would expect from one of their creations and come packed with enough articulation that Jon Snow will have no excuse for not petting Ghost in the last episode (supposedly it was a CGI issue, as no one interacts directly with Ghost since he has grown so big).  Daenerys Targaryen, The Night King, and Arya Stark are also available now at Wal Mart, Target, Amazon, and specialty retailers for $19.95 each.

    Of course you can't have an accurate recreation of Westeros without a dragon and that's why there's this ultra huge Icy Viscerion.  He sports a 16.5 inch wing span, comes with removable fire breath and a base which captures him mid flight.  You can pick him up from Amazon, Target, and Best Buy for $25.99.  

Used Honey Resin Dunny Preorder from Sket One

    Did you know that honey never spoils?  They've found it in the tombs of ancient Egyptians and you could totally still dip your chicken nuggets in and eat it.  In a way it would be kinda cool to eat something that's as old as a Pharoah and not die immediately from butt worms, but on the other hand the mere thought of it would cause me to make myself sick the moment it hits my stomach.  And why would someone be buried with a jar of honey anyway? Was he really bad in life and hoping to bribe Anubis when he weighs his heart against the feather?

Anubis:  "Dude your heart is way too heav...hey is that a jar of honey?  I haven't had honey in, like, forever!!!   They used to stock it in the underworld commissary, then there was the problem with the bears and ugh, it was just such a mess."

Dead Guy: **slides jar over to Anubis"

Anubis:  "Oh, snap! I guess my scales need to be recalibrated cause you are headed right to the good place, my man. Enjoy your afterlife and whatnot."

***Eddie Money's "Two Tickets to Paradise" blasts over the loudspeakers***

    Sket -One doesn't want you to have to start digging up dead bodies looking for something to put on your toast, so he is releasing this eight inch Used Honey Dunny for a special 24 hour preorder.  This resin figure saved a little bit of its goodness for you and will be available starting today (Friday May 3rd) at 9am pacific time.  Anyone who has ever seen one of Sket's pieces in person can tell you that this thing will be so flawless that you will probably stare at it until you get hungry and have to run out to the grocery store.  They're magic like that.  Satisfy your need to eat and your need to collect at https://sketone.storenvy.com.