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Thursday, December 17, 2020

The Sad and Horrible Show at Rotofugi

    

    Damn, even for 2020 the name of this show is kinda rough.  That is until you realise it's a combination of Sad Salesman and Horrible Adorables, who are sending this year back to the hell it belongs on a wave of cuteness.  Opening this Saturday (December 19th) at Rotofugi in Chicago, there will be plenty of felt and resin abound for you to cash and carry some great art Toys for yourself or as gifts.  There is no opening reception because of Covid, so if there's something you want and you don't live in Chicago I suggest visiting previews.rotofugi.com to get a heads up on what will be available.  The piece de resistance might just be this super sick tag team figure that is completely drool worthy:


    The other day I was at work and wearing my mask like the good citizen I am and I was concentrating on repairing something and a little drool made its escape. Had my tongue sticking out and everything like I used to as a kid when I colored, so thankfully the mask spared me the embarrassment of someone seeing that.  


Tuesday, December 15, 2020

Mini Danger Dog Glow in the Dark Edition from Tenacious Toys

 


     Nothing makes a bad day at work better than when a customer brings their dog in.  An unexplained fire in the building is cool too, but dogs require way less interaction with the police.  I work with a guy that is vehemently against anyone bringing anything other than a service animal in because he hates fun and something about allergies, blah, blah, blah.  The day I put his inability to breathe over my personal happiness will be a sad day indeed, so if you leave your puppy in the car you better be ready to march back out there to get it.  

     Tenacious Toys has arguably the most famous mascot of any designer toy store and now he's available in little vinyl nuggets that are super affordable and are perfect for filling in those pesky empty spaces in your collection.  This version is glow in the dark and you can rest assure it will be followed up by many different color combos.  What's also very cool about these 2.25 inch figured is that they were made in America by Mile High Sofubi, who as far as I know are the only ones in this country doing that type of work.  

     These are available now for $15 only from www.tenacioustoys.com.

Wednesday, December 9, 2020

Ashes of Ragnarok Nordic Lucky Cat for Galerie F

 


 After the sun and moon have been swallowed by the great wolf, and the fires of Surtur have been extinguished, we will be left with only the ashes.  

  Ooooooooh, I gave myself the chills!!!!  We all know 2020 has sucked in ways we never dreamed possible, but imagine if you knew that not only everything was going to hit the fan, but that you weren't going to survive it.  That was the burden carried by Odin, who went about his business knowing the precise time and manner of his demise.  That would suck a bit, but on the bright side you could completely ignore your credit card bills.  

    This latest edition of Nordic Lucky Cats is known as the Ashes of Ragnarok and they stand 4 inches tall, are limited to only 10 signed and numbered pieces, and was cast in resin by Dubose Art.  Each comes packaged in a hand stamped muslin bag and is an exclusive release for Galerie F.  They'll be available this Friday, December 11th, at noon central time only from https://galeriefchicago.com.



Wednesday, December 2, 2020

Atomahawk Kickstarter Campaign Powered By DoomCo Designs

 


   The axe is the greatest hand to hand weapon of all time.  Most efficient? Maybe not, but the stones it takes the wield one in battle puts you in a class of crazy no one is looking to fight.  Whether it's a small blade like the Vikings used, or a massive one from the mines of Moria, anyone who picks it as a go-to has no doubt that they'll be home for dinner later that night and that the blood on their armor will not be their own.  

    If we're gonna be picking teams for a good old fashioned medieval scrum, this dude is with me.  This is Cyberzerker and that letter opener he's carrying is the Atomahawk, which also happens to be the name of the comic from which he comes.  Created by Donny Cates and Ian Bederman, what makes the comic unique, other than the killer dude at the center if it, is that the art is completely based on the American traditional style of tattooing, which has a special place in my heart (and my right arm).    

    DoomCo Designs is helping to bring the comic to life in three dimensional vinyl form and you can do your part by supporting their Kickstarter campaign.  There's all sorts of rewards, from the 10 inch tall Cyberzerker himself to your very own lifesize Atomahawk that is just about guaranteed to not be allowed in my house because I "don't know how to act."  Check it out at this link.    



Friday, November 13, 2020

Mega Construx Labbit from Frank Kozik x Mattel Creations

 



    My cat Wednesday has decided in the past two weeks that she would start sitting in my lap.  I was completely charmed, as I have been her caretaker for eleven years and she has never done this.  Then I remembered reading about a cat in a nursing home that used to go around sitting on all the people right before they died.  The cat was completely accurate in predicting who was next to cross over; either as some grand gesture of comfort at that person's time of need or as a way to exploit his psychic abilities to win cash from the staff.  So of course now I'm worried that my demise is imminent because this is 2020 and that is in no way the most irrational thought I've had this year.  I will not be sharing with you what currently holds that number one position.  

    While I sit here and wait to become a corpse I could pass my time putting together one of these new Mega Construx Labbits.  Frank Kozik's creation has had a lot of different iterations over the years, but never one that required so much involvement from collectors.  Now you can be a small part of the history of the Labbit by building your own, which I'm sure will turn out way differently than anything you've ever attempted to build from IKEA.  The joy I felt when I finally broke apart our entertainment center and threw it in a dumpster should be bottled and sold on every corner in America.  

    This construction set was designed and produced by the toy geniuses from Mattel Creations and will be available beginning today (Friday, November 13th) at noon eastern time only at https://creations.mattel.com/.




Thursday, November 12, 2020

20 Million Miles to Earth Ymir Sofubi from Justin Ishmael

 


   The work of Ray Harryhausen has entranced me since the first time I saw Clash of the Titans.  One of my favorite films of all time, and probably the reason I'm so obsessed with monsters, the stop motion animation brought Greek mythology to life in a way that no one has done since.  Once I figured out who it was that was responsible for those amazing creatures I had to see everything else he made and his films are some of the very few that I can watch over and over without getting tired of them.   

    Now thanks to Justin Ismael, it's like seeing these insane creations all over again. Cast in glorious sofubi by Science Patrol, Justin's latest offering is Ymir, the star of 20 Million Miles to Earth.  He is available for preorder in two different colorways with or without his baby companion.  Expand your Harryhausen collection by visiting https://www.justinishmael.com.

    


Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Rand and Nance Action Figures from Middle Class Fancy


    When I'm up at five in the morning to feed my cats and prevent the one with dietary restrictions from eating food she shouldn't, there's nothing I'd rather do then scroll the hilarity that is Middle Class Fancy.  A celebration of suburban mediocrity,  their Instagram account has brought a healthy dose of joy to my life while providing a blueprint of phrases and behaviors to avoid like the plague.  Yeah, ok, who hasn't said "looks like we got here just in time" when the Chili's gets really busy right after you're seated. And after the meal, don't act like you haven't also asked your date whether they were "ready to rock and roll", implying that while this part of the night may be over, the chardonnay is just kicking in and you remember she brought home a little something racy from her last trip to TJ Maxx.  Rock and roll indeed.  

    Rand and Nance are the quintessential married couple whose shenanigans play out in countless memes and now they have been immortalized in action figure form.  You can buy them individually, or buy them together and save a couple of bucks to put towards your next pair of New Balance.  Get yours at https://middleclassfancy.com/.



Wednesday, October 28, 2020

The Nameless Beast "Witching Hour" Edition from John Kenn Mortensen x Unbox Industries

     


    The beast that plagues our world right now is far from nameless, and I hope with all of my being that he will be a thing of our ugly past very soon.  If you're an American and can vote please do it so we can all go back to fully appreciating fictional monsters the way God intended and stop being kept awake at night by the one's running our country.  

   John Kenn Mortensen's work with Unbox Industries has produced some of my favorite toy releases in the past few years.  They are freakier than anything my overactive imagination could have come up with as a kid when I heard noises outside of my window.  Had I thought The Nameless Beast was lurking within striking distance I would have given up hope of ever being old enough to experience the joys of arthritis.  

   This latest version is known as the Witching Hour edition and will be released this Saturday, which also just happened to be Halloween.  It's like they planned it that way or something.  Invite the monsters in starting at 11am eastern time only from store.unboxindustries.info.

Thursday, October 22, 2020

Shin-Cookiezilla from Gabriel Marquez x Bottleneck Gallery

 


    This story has absolutely nothing to do with this figure, but that's not going to stop me from telling it anyway.  Yesterday, my wife and I went to the zoo for the first time in what felt like forever.  The weather was warm but not too hot, which meant the animals were fairly active.  When we first arrived we saw a squirrel bury an acorn in an enclosure with a few monkeys, who seemed completely unbothered by his presence. My wife turns to me and asks "I wonder if they hide food in the dangerous animal's cages or if they're smart enough to know better?" A short time later, a snow leopard would answer her question.

      The large cat had been asleep when we walked away from it and we wouldnt have turned around if the fence hadn't started to violently shake.  We walked back to see the snow leopard with the limp body of a squirrel hanging from its mouth.  It was horrific and fascinating all at the same time, because they certainly are fed plenty by the zoo, but that one misstep into its territory triggered its hunting instinct so quickly.  If there is to be a funny part to the story, which I'm sure you're waiting for, it would have to be the fact that the cat then paraded all around its enclosure with its trophy, including right up to the plexiglass window where a row of small children stood ready to be traumatized.  I can neither confirm nor deny that I laughed just a little when they screamed.  

    Speaking of screaming, if I were not a more reserved person I would have certainly screamed out loud at how genius this Shin-Cookiezilla sculpture is.  Grover's face on its tail is what sold me on this work from Gabriel Marquez, who will be releasing his monstrosity with Bottleneck Gallery today at noon.  Standing over 11 inches tall and made of hand painted resin, there will be 400 pieces of the blue version and only 100 of the red.  Priced at $100 and $125 respectively (which is a really good deal for the size), you can order one for your favorite toy blogger today (Thursday. October 22) at noon easter time by visiting https://bottleneckgallery.com.




Monday, October 12, 2020

Mailing List Exclusive Space Monkey from Dalek x UVD Toys

 


    Being that we are knee deep in spooky season, it is fitting that the next Space Monkey release from Dalek and UVD Toys requires some super secret arcane knowledge to obtain it.  Now that doesn't mean you need to hop in your car and find the nearest occult bookshop, because all you have to do is sign up for the UVD Toys mailing list.  Then when the figure is released tomorrow (Tuesday, October 13) all you can use the special access code they send you to get one of these figures.  You could try using a Ouija board if you want, but I can assure you your property value will suffer if you accidentally cause a haunting. 

    Sign up before 11:45am est tomorrow by visiting www.uvdtoys.com



Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Tenacious Toys NYCC Exclusives Available Now

 


     The idea of actually attending a convention and being in a crowd of wall to wall people seems way less appealing than dental surgery to me right now.  New York Comic Con was a yearly tradition for my wife and I but thankfully it was cancelled this year in an effort to keep everyone healthy.  Well, it's not cancelled cancelled, as they've moved the festivities online.  Tenacious Toys has a virtual booth at this year's iteration and they're exclusives are available right now.  You can get all the treasures you want without waiting in line, or eating weird convention food, of playing "guess who or what just created that smell."  Check out the pics and get yourself something nice at www.tenacioustoys.com You deserve it.  














Monday, September 28, 2020

IG-88 Tank Lottery from Plaseebo

    


    Leave it to Plaseebo to create what might be my favorite custom Star Wars figure I've ever seen.  The IG droid on The Mandolorian was the breakout star of the show, adding human elements to the bounty hunting droid that had been reserved almost exclusively for C-3PO and R2D2.  But Plaseebo has stripped him back down into a machine made for little other than killing by mounting his head on a tank.  It looks like a plausible weapon and not something at all you would let babysit your tiny Yoda.  

    As with most of his creations, there is only one of these light up works of art.  You have until tomorrow, Tuesday, September 29 to enter the lottery for tour chance to purchase it.  Here's what you have to do to be considered:

To enter lottery, please send the following to:   bob@plaseebo.net 


1.  Name

2.  Shipping Address 

3.  Country

4.  Telephone Number

5.  PayPal Email Address

6.  Instagram ID

Lottery winner will receive a notification email by Wednesday  September 30th. The figure will ship from the USA upon receipt of payment due by Thursday October 1st.



Monday, September 21, 2020

DIY Vinyl Stroll from Spanky Stokes x Strange Cat Toys

 


    While the full blown quarantine has passed long ago, many of us are finding ways to entertain ourselves that don't involve going out as much.  Personally, I've been doing a lot of gardening, walking around the neighborhood to get in some exercise, and fine tuning my crippling anxiety about the dystopian future that eeks ever closer to our world.  Oh, and I got a bird feeder that has been very popular with the local goldfinches. Sometimes I get four of them on there at once, which is an indescribable thrill!

    For those of you that enjoy painting or always thought you might, now is the perfect time to unleash your artistic beast.  Toy blogger OG Spanky Stokes and Strange Cat Toys have just released the Stroll DIY vinyl figure that is just begging for you to customize. Standing give and a half inches tall, this blank canvas comes in a limited glow in the dark version as well as basic white and at just $30 and $25 respectively, and is a great gateway to toy art superstardom.  Pick one up now by visiting https://www.strangecattoys.com

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

STRASZNY ÄŒUDOVIT Solo Show from Horrible Adorables at Sally Centigrade

 


    When I'm not watching Karen freak out videos my other preferred method of online entertainment is without a doubt Babushka memes.  I've never owned an Adidas track suit and don't have any relatives from there, but the nuances of Slavic life resonate deep in my soul.  For those unfamiliar, here are two of my recent favorites:



   Genius, right?  Maybe they resonate with me because I grew up down south and there really isn't much difference.  So imagine how peaked my interest was when I heard Horrible Adorables based an entire art show off of Slavic fairy tales.  And as you can see from the first photo they made tiny little Babushkas, who just like my southern grandma are known for ensuring you eat constantly any time you are visiting.  I have never once been to her house where she didn't say I looked too skinny and immeadiately produced a five course meal.  Afterwards I could be laying on the ground, stomach near to bursting and she would put desert on the floor next to me.  She's nearly 100 years old, so she must be on to something there.  

   The show is on display now at Sally Centigrade in Colorado and the remaining pieces can be had by visiting their website at https://www.sallycentigrade.com.




Monday, September 14, 2020

Gizzard Mutant Chicken Kaiju from Figurehead Vinyl

 


    I used to live in Virginia, more specifically the Eastern Shore area.  It's a peninsula that you would assume is part of Maryland if you were looking at a map and is known more to people as the place they drove through to get to Virginia Beach from the north.  As you're passing by on a hot summer day and are unlucky enough to not have air conditioning, you will be assaulted multiple times by the smells of chicken farms and processing plants.  The factories are a mixture of raw bird parts and that special juice that leaks from the back of garbage trucks.  In the world of odors, they are merely offensive and certainly not something you would go out of your way to experience.  The places they raise the actual chickens, however, emit a brand of funk that should be arrested and charged with attempted murder.  Those birds that are destined for a bucket of original recipe expell noxious droppings that will make you wish for the delicate bouquet of week old corpse just to clear your palate.  I grew up near it and it still inspires me to expel my guts when I get a whiff.  Anybody down for 25 cent wing night?

    Miscreation Toys and NastyPLT have teamed up to form a new endeavor known as Figurehead Vinyl and their first release is the mutant chicken, Gizzard.  You don't have to worry about what sauce will pair best with your nuggets because Gizzard will be dunking you in his favorite flavors .  Standing ten and a half inches tall and featuring removable bulging eyes and a little bird omake, this freak of nature is available now for $145 by visiting https://figureheadvinyl.bigcartel.com/.  Might wanna hide that air fryer before he shows up in the mail.



Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Tenacious Toys Exclusive Evil Ape Fink from MCA x UVD Toys

 

   No need to wrap this Evil Ape Fink in an emergency blanket, because though he looks a little hypothermic he is in fact living his best life.  Though not at smart as Dr. Manhattan and maybe slightly less adorable than a Smurf, he's loading up on potassium and looking for a good time. And I heard they're making an Avatar sequel, so I'm sure he could get some work as an extra.  Fun fact:  I may be the only person alive to have never seen Avatar  nor do I have any desire too.  It's been too long and I've already moved on, kinda like when a band releases an album before I decided to pick up their previous one.  I can't just go and get the old one now, it make me feel weird.  

  MCA's signature character returns in his third iteration for UVD Toys, this time as a Tenacious Toys exclusive.  Limited to 100 pieces, this four inch vinyl figure will be available starting Thursday, September 10th at noon est.  You can welcome him into your life for $60 only at www.tenacioustoys.com.  


Friday, August 28, 2020

Cthulhu Idol Soft Vinyl Debut from The Cryptocurium

 


    Ol H.P. Lovecraft never lived long enough to see his work become as insanely influential as it did, and while any mention of him now almost requires you to denounce who he was as a person, it's hard to picture so much of what many of us love without his stories.  His greatest creation was the slumbering god Cthulhu, who lies at the bottom of the ocean waiting for the moment when he will rise and drive humanity to madness.  He is secretly who you've all been praying to when you've been hoping for 2020 to end already, so don't be surprised when he takes you quite literally.  You have to be careful what you ask for when you're within earshot of the old ones, as sarcasm wasn't a thing until long after their prominence.  

    The Cryptocurium makes some of the best resin figures out there featuring horror films, halloween, and of course Mr. Lovecraft.  This is their first foray into the world of soft vinyl and nothing would be a more appropriate debut then a story accurate statue of Cthulhu himself.  Available in a blank translucent green and as a tri colored glow in the dark marble, they will retail for $55 and $75 respectively, or a special price of $110 for both.  They'll be up for grabs today, Friday the 28th, at 6pm eastern time at this link.    

Thursday, August 27, 2020

Vote for Me in the Clutter Magazine Canbot Competition

 


    The most important vote in any American's life is coming up in November, but that doesn't mean you can't get a jumpstart on democracy right now.  Clutter Magazine is holding a design competition right now to be a part of the first ever Canbot blind box series and I have two designs up for vote.  You can see pictures of them below and I would love it for you to help me out by visiting www.cluttermagazine.com and voting for the one you like best.  You can vote once per day, which is the perfect thing for you to do while you're hiding in the bathroom at work.  




Thursday, August 13, 2020

Rotofugi Exclusive Evil Ape Fink from MCA x UVD Toys

 


    I always find it funny when I go into a major chain store that sells toys and something will be marked "limited edition" and their idea of limited is that 15,000 of them exist.  Fifteen thousand!  Nope, if you want limited, 50 is way more like it.  That means you and 49 other people around the world are in a special club and are the only ones able to enjoy the feeling that owning a special figure offers.  Of course I myself never buy anything strictly by how rare it is, but it is a nice bonus.  It's like being the caretaker of a sacred object that you were entrusted with by an ancient god and then you absorb its powers and become the only one that can stop an evil doer from realizing his dream of global domination.  Yup, it's just like that.

    I didn't just pull the number 50 out of thin air in the paragraph above, as it is the actual amount of exclusive Evil Ape Finks that Rotofugi will have on sale this Monday.  This is the second colorway of the figure from MCA and UVD Toys and the only place to get them when they become available August 17th at 10am central time will be www.rotofugi.com.  


Friday, August 7, 2020

Space Diesel Edition Budfoot from Wondergoblin





   The legalization of recreational marijuana in New Jersey will be on this year's presidential election ballot and I cannot wait to vote "yes".  My vote has nothing to do with me and everything to do with the public at large who need something to calm their damn nerves.  I was hoping that they would just push legislation through during the pandemic, because people are driving me insane with their amplified brand of crazy.  Dealing with the public has been a challenge and things would be so much easier for everyone if they ate some electric brownies and watched a Twilight Zone marathon instead of them trying to educate me with their bunk science about the virus when they know good and well the last thing they read by a doctor was Green Eggs and Ham. I'm triggered.

    Let Budfoot lead the way to inner peace and a mindfulness of the world around you.  Or just let him get you lifted so you forget about the turd show 2020 has turned out to be.  Either way, Wondergoblin's gigantic weed god has gotten all cosmic in this latest version.  He features paint that shifts between purple and blue which you probably won't sit and stare at for hours on end as you contemplate your place in the vastness of the universe.  Available this Saturday (August 8) at noon eastern time, he can be your new spirit guide for $200 plus shipping.  Snag one at www.wondergoblin.com




Thursday, August 6, 2020

Tenacious Toys Exclusive Cotton Candy Ghostbear from Luke Chueh x Munky King




    I find myself thankful for the little things in this challenging world we live in.  I'm thankful for the monarch butterflies whose caterpillars I get to watch grow up as the devour our milkweed.  I'm thankful that wearing a mask has let me be completely unconcerned with whether or not I have crumbs stuck in my beard after lunch.  And I'm thankful that my house is not haunted by freeloading ghosts who think just because they're dead they don't have to pay rent.  The last thing I need is some spectral form waking me up in the middle of the night by flickering my lights and thinking that electricity doesn't cost money.  I don't know what marketable skills you have once you cross over, but if you're going to disrupt my household you better contribute.  Now I would certainly accept being haunted by any ghost that wants to clean in exchange for room and board.  How great would that be?  You come home from a long day at work and you can relax because the dead Victorian lady did all of the chores while you were out.  If any dead Victorian ladies are reading this I am currently hiring.

   Luke Chueh and Munky King have released a bunch of these vinyl Ghost Bear figures, but none have looked so delicious.  This Cotton Candy edition stands at two and a half inches tall and is an exclusive to Tenacious Toys.  And while it may not sweep up or torment your enemies, this guy will add some color to your collection while signaling that you are a friend to all wandering spirits.  You can get one for yourself for only $30 when they go on sale tomorrow,  August 7th, at noon eastern time from www.tenacioustoys.com.  

Thursday, July 30, 2020

Horrible Adorables' Familiar Friends Custom Toy Show at Woot Bear



     I can't tell you the last time I went anywhere that wasn't work or the grocery store.  Actually, I can, as it was in March just before the pandemic hit hard.  My wife and I went to the art museum and thinking back on it now it's one of the things I miss doing the most.  I miss being inspired by what's in front of me and I miss seeing the possibilities of the creative mind other than on the internet. If you happen to be in the San Francisco area you can experience art again in person courtesy of Horrible Adorables and a ton of great custom figures.

   This Saturday August 1st, Woot Bear will be hosting the Familiar Friends custom show.  Utilizing the figure of the same name, tons of your favorite toy artists have lent their talents to reinterpret this magical vinyl toy.  You'll see work from Adrienne Slane, Andrea Kang, Angela Oster, Beanie Bat, Big C, The Bots,  Brett Manning, Ciou, Defectivepudding,  droolwool, Eimi Takano,  Elisabeth Holmes,  Erin Lagace, Frank Montano,  Owlberry Lane, Igor Ventura, Jellykoe, Jeremiah Ketner, JFO,  Joe Somers,  Johnny Draco, Jon-Paul Kaiser,  Kyle Kirwan,  Lana Crooks,  MJ Hsu,  Muju World,  Mumbot, OddFauna, PlushPlay,  Sad Salesman,  Small Thicket,  Theresa Hawkins, Tripper Dungan, valleyDweller, Vanessa Ramirez, and Victoria Rose.  And this will also be the first chance you have to purchase Jinxie the Fire Familiar and take super cute Instagram photos before anyone else.


    The show opens Saturday from 5-8pm, so pick out your nicest face mask and head to Woot Bear.  If you can't make it in person you can check out https://wootbear.com right now to preview all of the pieces from the show.



Monday, July 27, 2020

Tenacious Toys Exclusive Northern (Black) Lights Edition Nordic Lucky Cat from The Toy Viking




    With all of the past Nordic Lucky Cat releases I kept the inspiration strictly to Viking lore, but with the new Northern (Black) Lights edition, I wanted to bring in some outside influence to the color choices. This set of ten figures features the first ever triple marbled colorway, orange, yellow, and pink which are staples of psychedelic art. Oh, and they're black light reactive too, so just imagine how trippy a little Viking cat will be when you've partaken in the Devil's Lettuce, thrown on some Pink Floyd, and are vibeing out with the ghosts of your ancestors. It's the closest you can get to Valhalla without the messy business of being killed in battle.

 

    This signed and numbered run is limited to 10 figures, hand casted in resin by DuBose Art. Each one stand four inches tall, comes in a hand stamped cloth bag, and can be yours for only $40.  They can only be had from Tenacious Toys this Friday, July 31st at noon eastern time. 



Thursday, July 23, 2020

Electro-Gore Fly Custom Figures from Plaseebo x Evil Dave




      My wife has been incredibly susceptible to insect bites this year, so much so that she had to cave and buy a spray repellent.  I on the other hand have gone relative unscathed and was bragging about it when karma sent a little retribution courtesy of a hungry fly.   We were doing our daily walk around the neighborhood when what looked like a housefly landed on my arm.  No big deal, right? So I ignored him until he rammed his evil hypodermic of death into my flesh.  It stung like the dickens and I swatted at him with lethal intent, but he was too quick for me.  I figured he learned his lesson and realised I was not to be messed with until he returned and did it again.  Over and over this persistent spawn of satan bit me for the two blocks it took to return home.  And he's still out there, lurking and waiting to feast on my obviously deductible blood until the end of time.  For all of you gun people, which type do you think is best for me to cap his ass?

    Evil Dave's Gore Fly vinyl toy is thankfully not life size, because if flies were this big the world would belong to them.  And if that thought wasn't horrifying enough, Plaseebo ratchets up the scare factor of anything he customizes.  So not only do they look frightening , but the also glow with the souls of the prior humans they've fed upon.  There are four different versions of these bad boys and if you want to own one you have until tomorrow (Friday July 24th) to enter the lottery for a chance to purchase.  Here's all the pertinent info you need:

USD $300. + $20. for US shipping OR $70. for world-wide shipping.

To enter lottery, please send the following to:   bob@plaseebo.net 

1.  Name

2.  Shipping Address 

3.  Country

4.  Telephone Number

5.  PayPal Email Address

6.  Instagram ID

Lottery winners will receive notification email by July 25th. Figures will ship upon receipt of payment due by July 27th.