Skeletor Shogun Warrior from Mattel Creations

 

    I usually don't write about licensed toys because honestly, most of them are boring.  They're usually the exact same thing you've already seen a thousands times and totally not worth all the dead dinosaurs it took to make them.  But when given some creative freedom, familiar characters can be presented in a way that is not only refreshing, but will make you remember what you love about toy collecting in the first place.  

    Mattel Creations has nailed it with this Shogun Warrior Skeletor figure so damn hard they might be charged with assault.  This is a glorious matchup of one of my favorite supervillains of all time and the giant robot toys from Japan from the 1970's. This thing is massive, standing nearly 2 feet tall and featuring a rocket fist and rocket firing staff.  It will be available tomorrow, Friday April 23, exclusively from https://creations.mattel.com/ for $300.  

Help Resurect The Iron Monster from Miscreation Toys x Lulubell Toys

 

    Despite what the title of this post suggests, your certificate in necromancy from that online course you took will not be necessary here.  I'm sure they have a career counselor or some sort of job placement assistance to help you out, so don' beat yourself up over those student loans just yet.  

    The Iron Monster from Miscreation Toys has suffered a mold malfunction, which is way more expensive than a wardrobe mishap, but thankfully less embarrassing.  I have no idea what happened to it, whether someone damaged it in a fit of rage or whether they don't have the heart to evict a family of spiders that are playing house, but these suckers aren't cheap.  That's why Lulubell Toys is offering up a special preorder to help cover the cost of producing this 14.5 inch behemoth.  There are two different versions available: a neon green for $95 and a mystery tri colored marble for $125.  Secure one or both for yourself at https://lulubelltoys.com/.

Evil Ape Fink "Stunt Fink" Edition from MCA x UVD Toys

     If you think that I have not been to Hell's Canyon, where Evel Knievel unsuccessfully launched himself in a rocket car from Idaho to Oregon, then you are about to feel mighty silly.  Because the fact of the matter is that not only have I gazed nervously over the rocky ledge of the deepest canyon in America, but I have also stood inside of it at the bottom.  I got to the bottom in a much slower, yet ultimately safer way than Evel Knievel did, because its hard to enjoy nature's majesty when your bones are in places no one intended.  And I'm always careful since the time I tried to jump over a little muddy creek in the woods and I fell gloriously, nearly breaking my arm in the process.  My wife still brings that up years later, so falling into Hell's Canyon was never an option.  

    For reasons that are beyond my comprehension, the American flag jumpsuit never caught on as standard office attire.  I think work satisfaction and productivity would skyrocket if you were allowed to feel that good about what you were wearing.  UVD Toys and MCA have decked out the Evil Ape Fink in said attire and frankly, the little guy has never looked better. This four inch titan of vinyl will be available to add to your collection when he's released this Friday, April 9th at noon eastern time.  He'll only be $60, which is way less than the copays my insurance would have charged if I had actually broken my arm.