Biting Vase Preorder from Josh Divine

 

     And now for something completely different.  You may know Josh Divine from having his own production Dunnys, or from his uber popular crash figures that face plant well known pop culture characters.  But no one that I've ever known that enjoyed making things wanted to make just one type of thing, so while I didn't expect him to tackle the world of floral display, I can completely understand it.  And after all, designer toys are pretty much a form of home decor, so it's not that much of a stretch.  If he had decided to create artisanal sausage or his own line of natural deodorants, then that might have made me pause a bit.  Especially if they turned out to not be separate products.

     This is the Biting Vase, and as you can see from the picture above, the name is self explanatory.  Stephen King has made a living writing stories about inanimate objects coming to life to kill people, but even he didn't think of this one.  Not so smart now are you, Mr. Wrote-Lots-of-Books-and- Stuff? I love you, Stephen King, I'm just jealous and shouldn't have brought you into this.

   This unique piece of contemporary design is available in both white and black versions and can be preordered right now by visiting https://joshdivinestudio.com/shop.

"Dark Sparkle" Dungby and Pooba Vinyl Set from Andrew Bell

     

       The second night of wedded bliss with my wife was interrupted by something so unholy that by telling the tale I risk invoking its wrath.  But I'm gonna do it anyway because unlike my waistline, my shame has been getting thinner.  It was probably three in the morning and both of us were sound asleep when the ghost of diner's past decided he could no longer linger in silence.  Despite my best nocturnal efforts, a noise rang out from beneath the covers that would have sent shivers down the spine of a corpse.  It was loud, unmistakable for what it was, and I could do nothing but laugh.  I made no attempts to pin it on a burglar or some wild creature that lived in the crawlspace and betrayed any thoughts of innocence as my wife yelled at me using my full legal name and that of Jesus.  Nearly thirteen years later it is still just as funny as it was then.  Possibly because there was a more recent repeat offense, but who can be sure.

    Thankfully the services of our neighborhood dung beetle were not needed that night, because that might have been harder to find the humor in.  The insect you see above is named Dungy, and his perfectly round poop buddy is Pooba, and they are the two best friends that anyone could ever imagine.  And in fact someone did imagine them, as they were created by Andrew Bell and very soon (as in, today) they could become part of your story.  This is the debut edition of this boy (or girl) and his turd will be available begining today, May 12th, at 11 am eastern time exclusively from https://shop.deadzebra.com/.  They are limited to 100 sets and are $65 each.  Oh, and if you remember the fun of dissecting owl pellets in school, you'll be excited to know that Pooba opens up so you can store all of your tiny bones inside.

The Infernal "De Profundis" Edition from Transmission Toys x Unbox Industries

 

    Not having skin would suck, obviously for the whole "you'd be dead" reason, but if you could live without it there are no upsides.  Do you remember those sticky hands you used to be able to get from 25 cent machines at the store and how all the fun was ruined once they got covered in dirt and hair? Now imagine that's your entire body.  I feel gross just thinking about it.  I'm sure I had other examples ready when I started writing this but I am so skeeved out by the idea of my organs looking like an industrial lint trap that I just can't get past it.  

    Transmission Toys has teamed up with the fine folks at Unbox Industries to create their debut figure, The Infernal.  As you can see, he is not a man rich in dermis, but what he lacks in protective covering he more than makes up for with his can-do attitude (probably not though). This toy is made of beautifully marbled soft vinyl, stands 7 and 1/2 inches tall, and will retail for $75 when he goes on sale this Saturday (May 8th) at 11am eastern time. Get yours at http://store.unboxindustries.info/.

Empty Pinata Custom Figures from Pricilla Marquez x Tenacious Toys

 

     According to a semi popular meme we all have two wolves inside of us.  Where they are in relation to our actual guts I have no idea, but that seems to be besides the point.  People post said meme in an attempt to sound tough on Facebook, as one wolf is a nice doggo while the other one is a complete Monster Energy drinking bad ass that will punch holes in your dry wall if you don't watch your mouth! If I had two wolves that somehow lived in my body I'm sure one wants chicken nuggets and the other probably forgot to load the dishwasher.  Put that on a t-shirt and send me my royalties.

     Pricilla Marquez has taken a host of JT Studio's Empty Wolves and added some killer Mexican flare that is so clean I at first thought they were factory made.  I'm loving the colors and motif of this Tenacious Toys exclusive run of hand painted figures, and if you find yourself equally smitten you can add one to your collection when they go on sale this Friday (May 7) at noon eastern time.  Each seven inch figure will retail for $175 and there is a special one of a kind chase figure with different painted features.  Snatch em up at www.tenacioustoys.com.