Mulan Clear Red Edition from Awesome Toy

 

    If you don't have boob rockets in your arsenal are you even trying to win at war?  Since the moment we are born we are all obsessed with em, so it's fitting that that obsession has turned on us quicker than a kitchen appliance in a Stephen King novel.  Boobs are the most powerful things on Earth and I have a recent example to prove it.  My wife and I recently took our nephew to an exhibit on the Marvel Universe and through the majority of the film props and original comic pages he declared his boredom.  Then we come upon Black Widow's costume, who is portrayed by the ample actress Scarlet Johansson.  He stopped dead in his tracks, eyes unblinking, mouth agape, and suddenly he became very interested in the world of comic books.  The boy was hypnotized and I swore I could hear the song Dreamweaver playing in his mind.

     Awesome Toy is harnessing the power of the ta tas with their sofubi figure, Mulan.  Cast in clear red soft vinyl, this babe of the battlefield will keep all you hold near and dear safe with the power of BOOOOOOOOOOOOOB ROCKETS!  Did I mention those earlier?  Each figure is $90 plus shipping and can be had by following these easy directions:

HOW TO BUY:

If you are interested please email the following info to:

sales.awesometoy@gmail.com

1. Email Title: MULAN Clear Red

2. Your Full Name

3. Your Shipping Address / Phone Number

4. Your Paypal Address

5. Your instagram or facebook account (optional)

Note that cancel or unpaid order will be banned from our future sales.

Custom Fiji Mermaids from Candie Bolton x Gorgoloid x Awesome Toy

     If Fiji Mermaids were real no one would ever go fishing again.  The thought of pulling some haggard old monkey fish onto your boat is just the sort of thing that can ruin an afternoon of fun.  Not that I've ever really thought catching fish was the most fun thing.  I'd rather stay at home and watch Netflix and not have worm guts all over my hand and smell like something from the deep sea.  Any time I've ever gone fishing I've managed to impale some part of my body with the hook, which I take as a sign from the universe that I should be doing other things.  Once it even went all the way through my thumb and the dumbest part about that was that it happened in a friend of mine's garage and nowhere near the open ocean.  I was just bouncing around on a Pogo Ball and I fell over next to some fishing rods and the next thing I knew I was wondering how the hell I was gonna explain this.  That whole Pogo Ball reference just dated me big time, didn't it?

    Awesome Toy and Gorgoloid have one of the most bizarre sofubi creations ever with this dude and Candie Bolton has lent her talent to pretty them up a bit.  They're so shiny that now they look like the lures you would use if you wanted to catch one.  Get one for your collection this Sunday, July 31st at 6pm pacific time only from http://www.candiebolton.com.  Bait not included.  

"Twins" Shadow Black edition from Awesome Toy

    The Shining ruined a lot of things for a lot of people, but mostly only when those things were combined were they truly awful.  On their own there's nothing terrifying about writing a book (wait, scratch that) riding a big wheel, being secluded in a giant hotel, or a river of blood suddenly flooding a hallway.  But when combined, those very elements can turn what was only a mildly abusive husband with a bad idea into an axe wielding maniac who is no friend to bathroom doors.  But even without those other things, twins are sufficiently creepy all on their own.  That creepiness generally wears off the older that they get when they stop dressing alike and finishing the other's sentences, but what about if they were never allowed to get older and their ghosts are doomed to haunt unsuspecting tourists forever?  

   Awesome Toy wants to make sure you're never without a creepy set of twins to unnerve you with this pair of sofubi girls.  Just staring into their hollow eyes is enough to freak out the most jaded of us, so I personally think they would look best displayed in a room that you can lock at night and is preferably under video surveillance so the police believe your story when things go really wrong.  

    $150 will get you the set with a special background card recreating their infamous hallway, or you can get only one for half the fun and she alone will be $80.  Get em now at http://toyunderground.com/store/.

Awesome Toy Exclusive Cinema Monster from Splurrt

    Not too long ago my wife and I were doing some Sunday antiquing at a particularly fruitful spot when we stumbled upon the mother of all Ray Harryhausen collections.  Dude had acquired it after the original owner passed away and there was almost nothing this guy didn't have.  Out of everything I really wanted an original signed Clash of the Titans poster.  It was a thing of beauty but I couldn't bring myself to pay what was being asked.  Now that I'm telling this story I realize it's kind of boring.  Oh well.

    Splurrt is unleashing his latest Cinema Monster through the folks at Awesome Toy.  Here's how you get one, per their Instagram page:

Email entry only
Price is USD175Each+Shipping.  

If you are interested please email the following info to 

sales.awesometoy@gmail.com



1. Email Title: CINEMA MONSTER


2. Your Full Name


3. Your Shipping Address / Phone Number


4. Your Paypal Address


5. Your instagram or facebook account (optional)



We will select winners in next few days. Only winner will receive our reply.

This is a custom hand painted art toy so each piece is different, the one you have will not exactly like the product sample. Shipping scheduled in next 2-3 weeks.


Tropical Fiji Mermaid Sofubi from Gorgoloid X Awesome Toy

 

     I'd love to have heard the conversation between the dude who invented the Fiji Mermaid and his wife when he first showed it to her. "Now babes, you know I wasn't cut out to be the Wal-Mart bathroom attendant my whole life, but don't worry cause in the kitchen is how I'm gonna finally put this family on the map."  After she regained consciousness from seeing the old monkey and stinking fish butt he had crudely sewn together I'm sure there was a trip to a divorce lawyer.

   People throughout the ages have come up with some interesting schemes to avoid real work, but the Fiji Mermaid might be the weirdest.  In homage to this sideshow creature of yore, Gorgoloid and Awesome Toy have combined (like the monkey and fish) to create this version in sofubi.  Available beginning Thursday April 21st at 6pm pacific time, this Tropical edition is ready to take his place in your cabinet of curiosities.  Charge your neighbors a dime to behold this freak of nature!!!  He's only available from http://www.gorgoloid.com

Skull Jinmenken from Awesome Toy is Available Now!

    I sometimes get worried that I'm gonna come home and find cats in the house that I don't recognize.  I have five of them that I'm responsible for, but I feel that's pretty close to the number where you start to not realize new ones that move in.  When we lived in our first apartment there were some neighborhood cats that we fed and were pretty happy to see us everyday.  One was so happy that when I opened the door to leave for work he hauled his little fuzzy behind right past me and hid under the bed.  For one, I didn't know how he knew where the bed was unless he had been casing the joint.  And two, there was no way I could not get him back out for fear that my wife wake up and find a strange feline spooning her.  The thing about this cat too was that he always looked like he just had a UFC fight, cause one day he'd have a dangle tooth and the next part of his ear and tail was missing.  I kicked him back out, but ever since then I've had this irrational fear of strange cats moving in unbeknownst to me.  I don't think there's an actual clinical term for it, but when there is I better get credit for it or I'll sue everyone.

    I do have a distinct lack of dogs in the house, so I'd probably noticed if all of a sudden I had one.  I'd be more than happy to have one of these dogs from Awesome Toy call my shelf home, and it just so happens that they're available right now.  You can be the proud new owner of your very own Skull Jinmenken by following these easy instructions:

If you are interested please email the following info to

sales.awesometoy@gmail.com

1. Your Full Name
2. Your Shipping Address / Phone Number
3. Your Paypal Address

One address can purchase one figure only. Shipping is expected in the next week.