An Onslaught of Intergalactic Sloths from Cop A Squat Toys

      

     Space freaks me out a little.  Not the idea that's it's there our that its infinite (please brain, do not contemplate that idea) but more or less that I don't want to go and realize I can't turn around and come back.  It's so difficult to get there that if I decide it's not for me after all I am completely stuck until whenever the return trip might be.  I've had this experience the few times I conned myself into getting on a roller coaster and the only thing that saved me from a fatal panic attack was that the ride ended after five minutes and whoever I was with bought me a present for my reluctant bravery.  I am not about to go to space and embarrass myself the way I almost did on the Scooby Doo roller coaster at King's Dominion.  

    There are many times, such as you might have guessed in the first paragraph, that the calm and collected demeanor of the sloth would come in handy for me.  The Sekijun from Cop A Squat Toys exudes a cool confidence needed for space travel.  Well at least his sloth persona does, as his alternate Stalagmite head has a level of distress I'm more familiar with.  There are three sets of five figures, with one of those being completely unique one off versions.  Bring some zen into your life when they go on sale this Saturday (February 20) at noon eastern time only from https://copasquattoys.bigcartel.com/.  Each comes with the aforementioned alternate head so you can change them based on your mood, or you could just leave it as a weird serial killer trophy.   That's probably what you'll do, you sicko.  

Love Finn Universe Street Party Float from Kaize Toys x Cop A Squat Toys

   Lawd have mercy these are the toys we need right now.  These guys got all the happy juices flowing in my brain in a way that doesn't normally happen without a doctor's prescription.  Yeah, mostly I'm into monsters and dead things and and spooky stuff but there's something about brightly colored elephants in cars that hits me just the right way.  They make a day full of conference calls on Zoom feel way less like amateur dental surgery.

     I always dig the work of Cop a Squat Toys and that includes what he does to toys that aren't his, including these from Kaize Toys.  Obviously you want these, so now I'm gonna tell you how to get one:

Love Finn Lottery Info Open now until Friday May 29th noon EST

 * $130 plus shipping (USPS Priority)

* US only

* 1 entry per person please

Email the following info to info@copasquattoys.com

 * Real name
 * IG name
 * PayPal address
 * Shipping address
* Which paint app you prefer (Green or Yellow head)

Hyper Orange Semi Korosiya from Cop A Squat Toys x Science Patrols

    Good lord is that not the brightest orange you have ever seen?  No amount of adjusting your computer's display will bring that sucker into focus.  The Semi Korosiya figure from Cop A Squat Toys was thought to be a thing of the past, as the molds were seemingly "lost" and forced this dude into an early retirement.  Enter Science Patrols, who retrieved the original iron needed to make these suckers and subsequently produced the orangiest orange I have ever seen.  I feel like I should be looking at this thing through those eclipse glasses to protect my retinas.  

    You'll be able to snag one of these blank figures tomorrow from http://sciencepatrol.storenvy.com when they go on sale at 12:00 pm jst.  There will also be an orange version of Husk, which is the cute little cicada pictured below.  I'm actually assuming it's a cicada based on it's name as they leave those little husks of their former selves attached to trees, but I could be wrong.  

Death Goliathon Lottery from Planet-X Asia x Cop a Squat Toys

    Jane Goodall never hung out with monkeys that looked like this.  All of her primate buds had only one head and certainly didn't look like they took radiation baths every morning. You will not find him in any zoo, placing his paw against the glass in an effort to connect with visitors on some deeper level.  Nope, this is a freakish Planet of the Apes-style secret military monkey whose only interest in you is using your bones to pick his teeth.  He is full of pretty colors, though.  

    Planet -X Asia has enlisted the help of Cop a Squat Toys to paint up a limited run of only 6 of these bad monkeys.  The things are freakin huge so you might want to go to Home Depot and reinforce your shelves before you enter the lottery to purchase one.  Here are the details if you want in on this behemoth:

    All you must do to enter the lottery is be a @copasquattoys follower on Instagram and comment “I’m in!” on the photo 

    Price will be $300 + shipping via USPS Priority.  The winners will be drawn on Friday. August 11th.

Cop A Squat Toys Five Points Fest Booth Visit

    Cop A Squat Toys was one of those exhibitors at Five Points Festival I was excited to finally meet in person.  It's a strange thing to write about what people make and talk back in forth online without ever having actually spoken face to face.  But the great thing about conventions, besides helping out the economy on a grand scale, is bringing people together.  Check out all the pictures I took at www.facebook.com/TheToyViking and if you see anything you fancy you can snag it when the remaining pieces go online today (May 25th) at noon eastern time at http://www.copasquattoys.com.

Studio Kabuto's Cambrigon as Envisioned By Cop A Squat Toys

    

    "We're crab people now."  It's a simple, yet powerful quote from It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia that is uttered by Charlie as he harvests sewage runoff crustaceans from the Delaware River.  He had planned to sell them on the street, until Frank gets a government bailout and the plan is abandoned.  Sharon and I have since used it to refer to any get-rich-quick scheme we come up with or when we're depressed and feeling rather destitute.  Abraham Lincoln never had any quotes that versatile.  

   Hopefully we'll never have to say it because we've actually grown giant claws in response to all of the beef hormones in our food, but it's nice to know that it's there in case we mutate.  Cop A Squat Toys has painted up a bunch of these crab looking dudes from Studio Kabuto and will be releasing them on his website Thursday, September 1st at 9pm eastern time.  

http://www.copasquattoys.com

"Summer's End" and "Dark Arts" Fumetsu Release from Cop A Squat Toys

    We all have two sides: one that's light and fluffy and wants to hugs baby duckies and laugh at Tina Fey movies, and one that's dark and brooding and wants to listen to Slayer and kick people in the face.  Sometimes one rises up to cancel the other out.  Sometimes they both remain even and you flip flop between the two.  It's just basic human nature, but according to my lawyer it is not a valid excuse for throwing out a request to appear for jury duty.  That sounds like some University of Phoenix Law School thinking to me and I've gotta do better when picking legal representation on Craigslist.

    Don't be ashamed of either of your personalities; instead celebrate them with the help of Cop a Squat Toys.  He's ready to release two new editions of his popular Fumetsu figures in the form of the brightly colored Summer's End and the mysteriously evil Dark Arts sets.  Each figure is sold individually for $80 a pop.  There won't be many to go around, so be ready when they are on Tuesday, August 9th, at 2pm eastern time only from http://www.copasquattoys.com.

Lust For Life Aurora Fumetsu from Cop A Squat Toys

    I think it has rained in New Jersey for two straight weeks and it has depressed me to no end.  Everything outside is wet and bathed in a dark hue like I've had sunglass lenses surgically implanted in my eyeballs.  All I want to do is listen to The Cure (I hate The Cure) and read Anne Rice books.  My wife is gonna be pissed that I used up her eyeliner.

   Bright colors where have you been?  While absent from the outdoors they are plentiful in these Fumetsu figures from Cop A Squat Toys.  This is what I expect it to look like in spring when I'm sipping my Hawaiian Punch in my underwear and watching the birds outside.

    There are only 5 of each style of these dudes available when they go on sale May 6th at 3pm eastern time.  Each will be sold individually only form http://www.copasquattoys.com.

Fumetsu Clear Coke Bottle Green Figures from Cop A Squat Toys

    If you ever needed glasses as a kid you know you were freaked out that you'd end up with thick lenses.  Nobody wants to be referred to as "Coke Bottles" but you know that it happened.  If it wasn't you then it was someone else whose ocular deficiencies were on display for public ridicule.  One day I'm gonna write a story about such a kid, teased mercilessly and asked whether or not he could see the future so many times that he just snaps and becomes this evil villain.  And as an evil villian, who used his crimes to save up for lasik surgery, he one day stumbles upon his childhood glasses and builds a giant death ray with the lenses.  He then spends the rest of his life burning up the people that tormented him like helpless little ants.  It's still a better love story than Twilight.

    Now the Coke Bottle look is desirable at last, albeit only as the color of some killer vinyl toys.  For instance these toys we just happen to have right here.  Cop A Squat Toys is about to drop some truth on you courtesy of Fumetsu!!!!!  There are two different sets of figures, with only five sets of each available. These will be $150 per set and there will also be some blank figures available at $70 each.  I know you want these and you're in luck, cause you can buy them today!!!  Six pm eastern is the time, www.copasquattoys.com is the place, and the rest is up to you.  Get on it!

Brand New Figures and More from Cop A Squat Toys at Designer Con

    You know what always sucks as a kid?  When you're at the toy store, and you convince your mom to get something new, but she has the nerve to limit you to one figure.  Now this isn't a tragedy if it's a dude from a toy line you've been collecting, but when it's something brand new then it really sucks.  I remember when the Ninja Turtles figures came out and I NEEEEEEEEEEEEEDED them so badly and I finally begged my way into one and all I could get was Donatello.  Now who in the hell was he supposed to fight against?  I couldn't get Shredder, or a member of the Foot Clan, so here I had this awesome new toy with no one for him to do battle with.  Was I supposed to pretend that he was part of the Star Wars or GI Joe universes?  I wasn't about crossing brands like that.  So basically I had this turtle who I would just pretend was putting karate demonstrations on for kids and telling them not to do drugs.  This explains a lot about the person I turned out to be.

    You're not gonna face those issues I did when you purchase the new Fumetsu figures from Cop A Squat Toys.  That's because he's not a sicko and will be selling them in sets of two.  So whether you play cops and robbers or intergalactic tag team wrestling, you'll be squared away.  These are gonna debut at Designer Con for $150 per set at the Lulubell Toys booth #926.  You'll also be able to purchase an exclusive Semi Korosiya figure for the well-affordable price of $70.  Get them deals, son!

Semi Korosiya "Hiatus" Release from Cop A Squat Toys

    It's been a hot minute since we've seen a new Semi Korosiya release from Cop A Squat Toys, but this Sunday we're getting two different ones to choose from.  Which is a awesome and stressful at the same time, because how could you pick between these two?  The answer is you can't, so you're just going to have to come to terms with it and buy one of each.  I'm like, the best life coach ever.

     Both of them go on sale tomorrow, Sunday May 31st at 1pm eastern time over at http://www.copasquattoys.com.

    

Semi Korosiya from D-Lux x Cop a Squat Toys

    Has anyone else been watching Fargo on FX?  That show is great, but it's not a really good advertisement for Minnesota tourism.  While all the folks seem nice, the landscape (especially during the winter) seems like somewhere you would be sentenced to after being convicted of a felony.  And yes, I know it's just a tv show, but the place looks depressing.  The government there should scratch up some funds to make a show that's set during the summer so the rest of the world doesn't think that it is the ice planet Hoth 12 month out of the year and the only fun things to do are catch frostbite and murder folks.  Make me love you Minnesota.  

    I think if I had to live there I would have D-Lux come over and paint the inside of my house to combat the drabness outside.  Just look at the job he did on this Semi Korosiya from Cop A Squat Toys.  How could you not be in a good mood looking at this?  Buy one for yourself when they go on sale this Saturday, May 24th, at noon Eastern time from http://dlux.bigcartel.com/.  They are limited to only 8 pieces.   

Devilman NapNapNap from Cop A Squat Toys Releases Tonight!

    I can't tell if NagNagNag from Cop a Squat Toys is in the middle of getting robbed or has just jumped out from behind a bush to scare the crap out of someone.  Or maybe he wants a hug.  Or maybe I over think these things because it's pouring rain on my day off and that has depressed me, which leads my mind to wander into the realm of dumb.  

    Who cares what this dude is doing, just know that he is awesome and available for sale tonight at 7pm Eastern time at http://copasquattoys.bigcartel.com/ for $70

LiverDiet Custom Semi Korosiya from Cop A Squat Toys

    LiverDiet sounds like a good nickname for a viking.  Like, Harold LiverDiet.  It would strike the fear in your enemies that once they are defeated you will eat their iron-packed organs while they are still alive!!!!!!!!!!!!  That's pretty brutal.  Mine would probably be lame if it were left to other people to make it up based on my life.  I would end up Chris Litter Scooper, or Chris Crooked Toe.  I don't see my enemies running in fear of either of those.  

   In real life, LiverDiet is no marauder raiding monasteries and carrying off slave girls to Scandinavia, but a maker of clothing and toys.  Which is pretty brutal on its own, if you think about production runs and profit margins.  He has customized 8 of these Semi Korosiyas from Cop A Squat Toys and they are things of beauty.  The nice, subtle paint job goes a long way to bringing out the qualities of the figure itself.  Each one will come with an 8x10 serigraph (seen below) and one lucky collector will also get a snapback hat so you don't get sunburn on your head this summer.  Have you ever sunburned your scalp?  It sucks, don't do it.  You never think about that exposed part in your hair until it's too late and it feels like it's been licked by the fires of Hades.  

    These guys go on sale this Friday, April 25th at 7pm only at http://copasquattoys.bigcartel.com/.

    

New Stuff from Cop A Squat Toys

    One of the things that's interesting about toy collecting is seeing what strange things become insanely popular.  Like those crazy Japanese toys that look like burn victims with contorted faces.  I never would have picked those as being something that people would fight over, let alone for $800 plus.  But people love em, even if they can't necessarily afford them.  Cop A Squat Toys was inspired by those figures when they created this NapNapNap resin dude.  This sucker glows in the dark and has a hand painted insert mapping out his circulatory system.  Only 15 of these 5.5 inch tall figures were made at the much more affordable price of $65.  You can pick one up this Saturday, December 7th, at 3pm Eastern time.  

    If you've got the toy itch right now and can't wait any longer to buy something, then you can order one of these Semi Korosiyas.  Thirteen were made and will run you $70 each.  Both figures will only be available from http://copasquattoys.bigcartel.com/.

Custom Run of Semi-Korosiya Figures from Skinner x Cop A Squat Toys

    Cop A Squat Toys has the best company name in the history of business.  Skinner is the best figure painter in the history of art toy thingys.  When you combine their magical powers the result is so hot it may burn a hole in your toy shelf, so you should probably buy one of those fire retardant blankets to put underneath him just to be safe.  

    He painted up 10 of these Semi-Korosiya figures using that special V-Color paint that all those mystical toy makers in Asia use.  But not only do you get the toy, that would be too simple.  You also get an amazing print to go with it:

       Look at this!!!! This guy has all kinds of craziness going on inside of him.  This is exactly what happens to my innards if I accidently eat cheese.  Especially the part with the sword and the lightning.

    And the header card on this thing is pretty sick to.  Most of the time people just staple old Chinese food menus or whatever else they have laying around the house to make a header card.  Not this time.  More work went into this header card than a Miley Cyrus twerking video.  You may even want to frame it too and create an entire shrine in your house for this toy.  No one would blame you.

    Now you're probably asking yourself "How much will all of this cost me?"  Well you may expect to pay thousands for a package this chock full of goodness.  But Skinner is a man that understands the economy and the fact that if you can't pay your electric bill then that's a huge chunk of the day you can't gaze into the all seeing eye of this toy.  So you get the toy, the print, the killer header card (trust me its cool), and the Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card (not really) for...$225!!!!!!!!

    Now you're probably asking yourself "But how do I get in on this sweet deal?"  Well I'm gonna tell you Uncle Slappy.  You gotta be at your computer and ready to make the magic happen this Thursday, August 29th, at noon Pacific.  Set your coordinates for http://shopcriticalhit.com/products/semi-korosiyra and pray that lady luck is on your side.

    For those of you that didn't get the Ken Griffey Jr. rookie card joke I present to you Mr. Don West, the king of late night baseball card deals. This man is a source of endless entertainment and has probably had a dozen strokes from yelling like a mad man.

Semi Korosiya Black from Cop A Squat Toys

    I have a love/hate relationship with unpainted toys.  The purist in me wants to keep them as they were intended, just plain with no color other than that of the plastic.  Another part of me wants to take them into my basement, fire up the old airbrush, and assault them with crazy colors.  That part of me is also scared to death that he's going to ruin an expensive toy and be really pissed about it.

    So I normally avoid the conflict in my brain by not buying blank figures.  Then something like this pops up and I forget what little sense of reason I've had bestowed upon me.  Cop A Squat Toys is releasing this all black Semi Korosiya today (June 7th) at 3pm Eastern time.  This sucker is 8 inches tall and looks like he just dropped from the sky ready to enslave mankind.  $65 will get you one from http://www.copasquattoys.com/.