Beastie Droids Enamel Pins from Dead Greedy

    When I was a boy I had a killer denim hat with a panther enamel pin lodged in the front.  Then I had to go and get a wicked case of head lice and my mom chucked that thing in the trash because she swore it was harboring little fugitives.  She wouldn't let me get my sweet panther pin, even though there was no way scientifically speaking that anything was living on that.  I could have put it on my matching jean jacket, or I could have saved it in my treasure box until I was older to prove how tough I am so I wouldn't have to tell everyone like I have to do now.  Parents need to think about this stuff before they over react about a little infestation.

    I know I've told that story before and it's cool because it's the only enamel pin experience I have.  Oh, it's true, after my panther was ripped from my life I never bought another one, so every time I write about pins I'm gonna recycle that trauma.  Dead Greedy is trying hard to melt my hardened heart with these wearable versions of his Beastie Droids figures.  They've been featured on a hit television comedy and have a place in collections around the world and now they can adorn your wardrobe.  You get all three pins for $25 packaged up to look just like the bootlegs that inspired them.  Order yours at http://www.deadgreedy.com.

New Star Wars Bootleg Figures from Dead Greedy

   What a time to be alive!  In case you don't understand my excitement I'll give you two words that will explain it all:  Space Force!  That's right, our moron in chief has announced that a sixth branch of the military is about to be created known as Space Force.  No word yet whether we will get to pew pew aliens with laser guns, or why we actually need to create the redneck version of Star Fleet (come on, like it's not going to be the most hillbilly nonsense you've ever seen) or really what any of the details are, but it sounds like it has potential.  For what I don't know and I wish that it was up to people smarter than me but I don't think those kind of folks exist in our government.

   Dead Greedy has had his work appear on national television but is now getting ready for intergalactic shenanigans with two more of his ever popular Star Wars bootleg figures.  There's Big League Chewy in all new Galactic Grape flavor, or Knock Noggin, who I'm sure will have his own spin off film eventually at the rate they're churning those things out.  Prepare yourself to combat all that space crime by visiting www.deadgreedy.com

Dead Greedy's Beastie Droids to Appear on "The Goldbergs"

    For reasons that remain unknown to me, I am not being called to appear on television.  I'm a pretty easy guy to find, so you would think that somewhere there's a show that's perfect for me.  Hopefully, it won't be Monsters Inside Me, but if I were to ever catch an interesting parasite I'd be more than willing to share that with the world via dramatic reenactments and computer generated graphics.  Maybe they'd even let me write the script, which would stretch their budget to unheard of levels for the amount of explosions alone.  My parasites demand pyro.

   My dude Dead Greedy has been making bootleg figures for a while now, and they caught the attention of one Adam F. Goldberg who loves them so much he's actually put them in his hit sitcom, The Goldbergs.  That's a pretty incredible stamp of approval.  The episode is set to air next week and is entitled "The Goldberg Girls", which may or may not be a play on The Golden Girls, which is absolutely the best show ever about elderly women.  I used to watch that as a kid and while most of the jokes were beyond my innocent mind, I was certain that Sophia was my spirit animal.

    Check your local listings so you can see the episode and buy some cool stuff from Dead Greedy at this link.

Her-Man from Dead Greedy

    Sharon and I went to one of those Chiller Theatre shows in North Jersey many years ago where they have lots of weird celebrities show up to sign things and tables filled with all sorts of collectibles to buy.  We were walking down the hallway just taking it all in when we see this mass of people coming towards us taking pictures but we couldn't see who the object of their attention was. We get closer and in the middle of this group stood Pee Wee Herman, dressed completely in character, doing the voice and everything.  He was on his way to wherever he was signing autographs and we just happened to be there.  Yeah, it's not the best story but it's the only one I have.  Oh, and maybe ten years later my wife finally saw Pee Wee's Big Adventure for the first time, so there's that.  I'll just sit here and wait for the publishers to come to me for this one.

    Dead Greedy made me a little nervous when I opened his email, because a Pee Wee/He-Man mash-up was not the first thing I thought of when I read Her-Man.  I thought maybe one of the best loved characters from my childhood had decided through surgical means to pursue the gender he always felt he was inside.  But alas, I am safe from those conflicted feelings as this is the result of some parallel universe on tv where beloved shows blend together in bizarre fashion.  

    You can own one of these handmade carded figures by visiting www.deadgreedy.com.

    

Beastie Droids 3 Pack from Dead Greedy

   

    When Licensed To Ill came out I was in third grade and I begged my mom for the tape.  I have no idea where I would have learned about it, maybe MTV played one of the videos or something, but I had to have it.  That was quite a few years ago and it took me a long time before I realized that "Brass Monkey" wasn't a metal simian they were carting around to party with them, or that Brooklyn didn't really have any castles like medieval Europe.  I read somewhere that based on how many copies of this album was sold, that one in every ten Americans has one, which is one of those useless, mind-blowing facts that may get you a win at Trivial Pursuit on game night, but is just gonna take up space in your brain that could be actually used to make money.

    Holy crap did you see the backing card on this thing?  That artwork is brilliant.  My main man pots and pans Dead Greedy said that some killer art work wasn't enough for his fans.  He also took some Star Wars droids, made em into the ills white boys on the planet, and slapped em on the front for your collecting pleasure.  You gotta get your hands on these by checking out this link right here.

What if Mr. T and the TMNT Had a Baby? Dead Greedy Has the Answer For You

    The scenario I described in the title of this post of course would depend on there being female ninja turtles, which is a spin off series I'm shocked no one has done yet.  It would be the perfect plan for Shredder to create chick turtles, thus distracting our heroes long enough to take over the world to the point that there's nothing they could do.  I am really underutilizing my skills as an evil genius.

    My man Dead Greedy is so far ahead of the game though, cause he already had Mr. T swoop in and  woo the green right off of one of those turtle ladies with the promise of gold chains and massive amounts of the pitying of fools.  At this very moment you could snag yourself one of those mini Mr. TMNT in the color of your choice for $20, or get one of each (that's five total) for $75.  Or you could go much bigger, and get a sweet carded version painted up like Michelangelo for $50.  Take a gander at the madness over at http://www.shop.craptasticplastic.com/main.sc. 

Mr. TMNT by Dead Greedy x DKE for SDCC

     We are all lucky enough to live in a time when if you're not happy with anything about yourself you can just go ahead and change it.  Through the miracles of modern medicine and sometimes just through sheer willpower/not telling the truth, we can transcend just about anything we see as an obstacle.  

    Who knew that deep down Mr. T had always identified as being a Ninja Turtle?  There's got to be a Diane Sawyer special any day now so we can hear his side of the story.  But until then we'll have to speculate that as a child he had an almost unnatural attraction to opening manhole covers, speaking like a surfer from Venice Beach, and craving only pizza for every meal.  The other kids thought he was nuts when he carried a little rat friend around, telling them all that he was his martial arts teacher.  But now Mr. T can live out his life the way he was always meant to, and to commemorate this occasion you can own one of these figures by Dead Greedy.  They will be available at DKE's booth at San Diego Comic Con for $55 each and are limited to just 25 pieces.