Forces of Dorkness Has Opened the Archives

   Regret is the worst feeling in the world.  The worst emotional feeling, because there are plenty of physical feelings I would trade you for some regret any day of the year.  But do not tax yourself with mental burdens so early into this New Year and make past regrets vanish with the click of a mouse because Forces of Dorkness is giving you a second opportunity at pieces you may have missed out on.  Were you burdened with bills?  Kidnapped by Somali pirates?  In a coma?  It doesn't matter, because you can make up for lost time right now by checking out http://forcesofdorkness.storenvy.com and securing all those items you're still kicking yourself for passing up the first go round.  You'll have no one to blame but yourself and maybe Somali pirates, but if you got kidnapped by them twice I'm thinking that's your fault.  

The Minatorg Resin figure from BOObotcher x Forces of Dorkness Available Now!!!!!

    Let's all take a moment to give my boy Theseus some credit.  First and foremost, you wouldn't catch me skulking around a pitch-black labyrinth.  I always think how cool it would be to explore the abandoned place in Philadelphia, but I am way overdue for my tetanus booster.  Secondly, there's the Minotaur to contend with, who is like the ancient version of a crackhead armed with hepatitis needles.   You stumble upon that bro, and it's a trip to the emergency room and blood tests every six months.  So I give much respect for Theseus for being the ultimate explorer/monster killer.  I really should rewrite all of the Greek myths with a more urban so the kids of today could truly appreciate them.  I'm gonna call it "Straight Outta Athens".  

     As if a giant man-bull lurking in the dark wasn't enough to scare the crap out of you, what about one that's gone full Terminator?  The Minatorg from BOObotcher and Forces Of Dorkness could definitely have a place in my book, what with his giant arm cannon thingy and overall menacing look.  This is the first version of this collaborative figure, cast in translucent red resin, standing 4 and 1/2 inches tall and available right now for only $25 bagged with a header card.  Snag this updated nightmare of mythology by visiting http://forcesofdorkness.storenvy.com/

"Chewquila" from Forces of Dorkness for Tenacious Toys' Super Series Sunday

    I know I've already told the story of how mad I got while trying to get a new tire yesterday, but I was sooooooooo ma that it bears repeating for a second day in a row.  I won't retell the whole thing, but do you remember in Star Wars when Chewbacca was about to lose that weird game of chess and Han Solo was all like "bro, you should let the Wookie win, cause he'll rip your arm off and cave your skull in with it" (I'm paraphrasing)?  Well I was Wookie level angry yesterday.  I mean, where else can you set up an appointment to have something as simple as a tire replacement done and they tell you it might be done by tomorrow morning?  Could you imagine showing up to your barber and him telling you that he got really backed up and he may get to you by morning? Or booking a reservation at a restaurant for dinner and not being seated until breakfast.  It's ludicrous, and it's even more so when they don't understand why you feel that way.  I can hear George Castanza yelling about this in my head.  

    Ok, I think Forces of Dorkness has officially made it impossible for anyone to create a better custom Star Wars toy.  He took a Muttpop Tequila figure, fuzzied him all up, and made the mother of all Chewbacca figures.  Eight of these will be made available this Sunday (June 7th) at 8pm as part of Super Series Sunday from Tenacious Toys.  You will have a two week window to preorder one of them after which time they will be made and mailed off to live with their lucky new owners.  Little pink hair brush not included.  

       

    

    

Krampus on a Shelf from Forces of Dorkness x Tenacious Toys

    If you want your kids to behave themselves in the time leading up to Christmas, why would you put some little sissy on your mantle that's gonna supposedly go off and rat em out for the bad stuff they do? Kids know that snitches get stitches and they're not gonna take some dainty little elf seriously.  What you need is some crazy looking demon guy that will stuff them into a bag and beat the tar out of them with a stick.  Now that's something that will make even the littlest psychopath think twice before giving into those bad voices in his head.

    Krampus is the greatest thing to happen to Christmas since presents, and it warms my heart to see people in America start to embrace Santa's enforcer.  Now if only we could start working him into our holiday traditions.  Kids need a healthy dose of fear.  They need a freaky goat man to smack them around as they stare mindlessly into their cell phones instead of taking out the trash.

    Ok, this has nothing to do with what I'm talking about, but I couldn't stop laughing at this video when I saw it.  It is Christmas themed though:


    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I'm dying, I'm dying.

     Krampus on the Shelf was created by Forces of Dorkness to watch over your little nut jobs as they go about their heathen ways.  They are going up for preorder this Sunday, November 2nd, at 7pm as part of Super Series Sunday from Tenacious Toys.  You'll have two weeks to place your order for one of these dudes, who stand 8 inches tall and retail for only $50.  It's cheaper than putting those little monsters in obedience school (do they have that for kids?).  Get yours at http://www.tenacioustoys.com/

Super Series Sunday from Tenacious Toys Featuring Forces of Dorkness

    How come we don't get to vote or run for Pope?  I think I would make an excellent candidate because I have never taken any naked pictures or done anything else scandalous that would taint my campaign.  I've never caused a traffic jam at the George Washington bridge out of spite, and I don't even know where to buy crack.  Now as far as my other qualifications go I'm not entirely sure what's relevant because I'm not sure what the Pope does other than ride around in his bubble car and make people kiss his ring.  Really, I just want to be able to go shopping at Target while I wear the hat.  

   Tomorrow is not only Sunday, but it's Super Series Sunday at Tenacious Toys.  This time they are featuring Pope Solo from Forces of Dorkness that will finish of his religion-themed Star Wars figures.  Fifteen white figures and fifteen black figures were made and will be sold blind bagged for $40 each when they go on sale tomorrow (January 12) at 6pm Eastern time on www.tenacioustoys.com.

More NYCC Exclusives from Suburban Vinyl

    These guys remind me of a show I watched on Discovery Channel about the Humboldt Squid that are freakin huge and will literally kill you.  People fall into the water sometimes when they're fishing at night and the squid get all happy cause it's like "hey free fish"  then they decided to taste the fishermen and they were like "hey, not too bad" so they eat them too.  They're also known as diablo rojo and I make it a point to not mess with anything with diablo in its name.  The fact that I'm not dead proves that this is a sound philosophy.  Respect the science.

    You wanna see more New York Comic Con exclusives?  (if you pretend that Paul Stanley from Kiss is asking that to a crowd it sounds really cool)  Well, how about some more stuff that Suburban Vinyl is gonna bring with them?  Like these Minions of Dorkness from Scott Kinnebrew (aka Forces of Dorkness).  There's a total of twelve sets of each style of these tentacled bros and they're held together with magnets, so you can swap heads all day long.  They're gonna be $30 each and you can pick whichever ones you want; none of that blind box stuff here.  

    You may or may not know that I love cats.  I only talk about them so much that sometimes I wonder if its overboard.  Then I think screw that cause they're freakin adorable and do it anyway.  I believe the kids would call that YOLO or something.  I dunno, I'm old and cranky.  Mark Nagata from Max Toy Co. has created the most limited edition figure for the entire convention.  It could only be more limited if it didn't exist, cause he only made one of these bad boys.  That's right, there's only one.  And it's $175.  And if you buy him you have to hold him up to the sun like Simba from the Lion King and watch as every other collector's eyes get really wide with envy.  Get all this at more at booth #208.