Who Needs Comic Con When There's Healeymade

    Don't you hate it when you see killer exclusives that only people at comic con can get?  Then it sucks twice as much when they pop up on eBay for so much money you have to choose between toys and healthcare.  To hell with that noise, cause Healeymade has got a ton of new releases for all of us that are stuck at home and can't find anybody to buy our extra lung for straight cash.  Browse his wares he will have for sale, then point your browser to www.healeymade.com at 8pm eastern time on Wednesday, July 20th (that's tonight, sucka).

The Next Installment of SWWF from Healeymade

    I am so pumped right now I want to go ring a random person's doorbell and DDT them on their front porch.  Sharon and I are going to Summerslam in Brooklyn this weekend and I have been super hyped about it for months but now that it's here I've go so much excitement built up inside me that I don't know how I will make it through today without powerbombing someone through a table or using uncontrolled run-on sentences.  The highlight for me is that I'm gonna get to see The Undertaker in person, which hasn't happened in a long time.  When I was a wee little Chris I got to go to a house show in Richmond, Virginia we walked up to the box office the day of the show and got seats right next to the barrier where the performers walk out.  I remember standing their in awe as The Undertaker made his way to the ring; by far the biggest person I had ever seen in my life let alone stood next to.  He was beyond human; something that couldn't have been something naturally occurring in this world, but something born purely of imagination.  Though I'm much older and much more knowledgable about how the world of professional wrestling works, that surreal feeling still comes back to me any time I go see it in person.  

    If you were to ask me how to create the perfect toy I would say you have to take things I love, mash them together, and let the results speak for themselves.  Well, I love Star Wars and I love WWE, so I would say Healeymade has either been rooting around in my brain or the man has some exquisite tastes.  This thing is beautiful in its genius and can be owned right now by checking out http://healeymade.com.  

Designer Con Exclusive Bounty Wrestlers from Healeymade x DKE

    Did you watch Hell in a Cell last night?  How crappy was that ending to the Seth Rollins/Dean Ambrose match?  You've got two guys putting on one of the best matches of the year and then you end it with the lights going out and Bray Wyatt interfering.  I like the possibilities of Ambrose vs Wyatt, but the way that ended was just a disservice to everyone involved and the people watching it.  I'm still mad.  

    But I love my wrasslin, and I love Star Wars, so thank God someone finally got wise and put em together.  Healeymade cast up 6 sets of these Bounty Wrestlers as exclusives for DKE at Designer Con.  They come all framed up looking fancy and ready to elevate your collection's wow factor.  You can impress your momma with these.  

SDCC Exclusive Chorko from Skinner x Healeymade

    Fun fact:  He-Man was originally conceived as Charles Manson's introduction to the world of acting.  He was gonna play every character in this passion piece he developed while locked away in prison.  Of course by the time he envisioned it He-Man had already been on the air for a number of years and he wasn't allowed to use the phone anymore.  Thems the breaks Charlie!

    Skinner and Healeymade know that ol Charlie Manson's version would have been far superior, so they have created the most epic toy line ever featuring what could have been.  This is Charlie taking on the role of Orko, that weird little floating shirt wizard thingy.  You'd think if you were a good wizard you could hocus pocus yourself some new legs, but what do I know.  This bro is an exclusive to San Diego Comic Con and will only be available from Skinner himself at booth number 5051.  

Quackula from Healeymade Makes His Vinyl Debut Tonight

    We have this touristy village-like place near where I live where people used to feed all of the geese that hung out there.  The place was overrun with these giant, lazy birds looking for a handout.  Think of Times Square in the 80's but without as many hookers.  Well God forbid if you didn't have anything to feed these geese because they would follow you everywhere you went and bite the crap out of you to get your attention.  And you couldn't walk any faster to get away from them, because they laid these human size turds everywhere that you really didn't want to track into your car, so you're dodging poop landmines while these real life angry birds are trying to give you avian flu cause you weren't nice enough to stuff a couple slices of bread in your pockets before you left the house.  Thankfully, they finally banned people from feeding them and the little low lifes moved on to ply their criminal trade elsewhere. 

   The moral of this story is that bird bites hurt, but thankfully they don't actually have sharp fangs like this Quackula figure from Healeymade.  This blood-thirsty water fowl stands 7 inches tall and is made from glorious Japanese soft vinyl.  You can get one tonight when they go on sale at 8pm Eastern time at http://shop.healeymade.com/.  

Seen at NYCC 2013: Skinner and Healeymade

    Skinner and Healeymade shared a booth at New York Comic Con, which makes life a lot easier when you're trying to see as much stuff as possible while wading through a sea of people.  And since they shared a booth they also made a toy together.  The backing card on this figure was seriously like two feet tall, but it has to be when you have so much crazy art work to look at.  If you didn't have any way of transporting this sucker at the con or if you weren't able to make it, Healeymade will have some for sale on his website this weekend.  

    Do you see this?  This monstrosity should really be viewed in 3D so that the pure sickness of the sculpt can creep its way into every wrinkle of your brain and lay eggs.  Skinner teamed up again with Unbox Industries (which is run by Dan, who happens to be my favorite person from the UK who isn't on Downton Abbey)  to bring this unholiest of unholies to life.  There are moving pieces all over the place on this thing and each one comes pre loaded with the spirit of an ax murderer, so you don't have to worry whether you'll get the one that's possessed or not.  

    This may or may not be it's butt.  There's a little demon in there though, which is pretty much how it feels after you eat one of those mummified hot dogs from 7-11.  Sometimes they seem like a good idea. Speaking of which, the other morning we stopped at one for donuts and they had a Dr. Pepper Slurpee. No one told me about this and I am outraged I have not yet tasted it.   I would have been all about that had it not been 6am, and being that we were on our way back to comic con, I didn't feel it was the right time to experiment with new frozen beverages.  Back to the figure, it should be up online for preorder soon, as they were taking orders in person at the con.  I couldn't buy one yet because I'm still waiting on my shipment of holy water, you know, just in case.  

    Skinner also has a butt ton of hand painted figures that were selling pretty quickly.  The man makes magic with every toy he touches.  Black magic of course, none of that Harry Potter "I wish my parents loved me" wussy magic.  

    Healeymade had a ton of his original resin creations on display, my favorite of which is the Heisenberg mini figure made to look like the infamous blue meth from Breaking Bad.  There was a lot of stuff inspired by the show at various booths, but nothing stood up to this.  Look, it's even packaged in a little baggy like you bought it straight from Badger on the corner.  I miss that show.  

Check out more pics from NYCC at www.facebook.com/TheToyViking

NYCC Exclusives from Skinner

    Well, New York Comic Con this year is gonna involve me visiting one booth, then standing outside the rest of the time begging for change so I can afford to get home with all my treasures.  Skinner sent me these images last night of the craziness that he will be releasing and I immediately called up my mortgage company and told them to suck it cause I won't be able to send them anymore money for a long time until my drug business gets off the ground which takes some time because you got to get that primo product and then build a clientele and you gotta get some people that are willing to get their hands dirty but won't rat you out when the idea of prison snuggles are brought up and I need some time to establish that I'm crazy enough to mess you up if you try and take down my soon to be empire.  All of that takes time and money and I'm not gonna have any money after buying all these toys to line up in my new crime office.

    Let's get to the important details before I black out from all the awesomeness I see and have to go to the emergency room.  First up, a run of 5 Mutant Vinyl Hardcore Berserkers.  These will be available Saturday at 2pm for $300 each.

    These are called Not Child Prostitute/Not Bootleg.  I'm pretty sure I've seen them outside of the casinos in Atlantic City late at night.  You just have to look for the ring of seagulls circling their heads.  They're made of resin, are available Friday at noon, limited to 10 pieces, and cost $100 each.  

    It's like a baby Eye of Sauron or something.  For those of you keeping score at home, that's the second time I've referenced the Eye of Sauron this week.  I'm becoming so predictable.  These will be available Friday at 2pm for $200 each.  Only 6 were made. 

    Now this is what I want.  Ok, let's be honest with ourselves here, I want them all.  But if I had to pick one, and I will or my wife will kill me for my lack of fiscal responsibility (she doesn't believe in my crime lord dreams) then this is the one I want.  The Unhallowed Ultrus Bog is limited to 5 pieces and will command a price of $150 when it is available on Sunday at 1pm.  

Another Ultrus Bog?  Yeah sucka, you heard me.  It's the Great Pumpkin version.  Charlie Brown would have peed his britches is this bro rose from the pumpkin patch.  Four were made and are $300 each when they appear Saturday at 3pm.  

    Now this is for all you coupon clipping bargain shoppers out there.  You get not one but two Abyss Minions painted by the Skinman himself for the low low price of $100.  Only 10 sets are available though so don't waste your time taking pictures of girls dressed as half-naked comic book characters.

    This toy will beat the living pee pee out of you and then become your step dad.  Bullet Belt! Bullet Belt!   Saturday at noon is the time, $300 is the price, and 10 is the amount that are up for grabs.  Oh, and you get all of the patches that Bullet Belt wears to put on your own jacket and be cool or something.  

   This isn't even everything, but my fingers are sore from typing so much.  There will also be t-shirts, balloon animals, and a special collaboration with Healeymade.  Booth #110 is the only one that needs to be on your mind if you're ready to cross over into madness. 

Sue Resin Figure from Buff Monster x Healeymade

    This is the cutest ice cream headed, cyclops girl I've ever seen.  And I've seen a few in my day.  I grew up in Virginia after all and there's some crazy stuff going on in the woods down South.  Stuff that would blow your mind and shake the very foundations of everything you knew to be true.  

    Sue is the creation of Buff Monster and Healeymade, and they are changing her sculpt after this release.  So you better get on this before she goes under the knife, cause you never know how surgery will turn out.  These go on sale tomorrow (May 24th) at http://www.buffmonster.com/.