Madam Mayhem 8 Inch Dunny from Kronk x Kidrobot

    You know the problem with gentlemen's clubs?  Other than the fact that I would never want to sit anywhere in pants that I didn't plan to burn later?  There's no creativity.  Sure, the semi-nude acrobatics of young girls trying to pay their way through law school can be exciting for a bit, but after a while it's old hat.  I'm a sucker for a good theme and a bit of showmanship, so how come they don't mix their interests or talents into their performances?  One girl could read tarot cards and breath fire, or they could all wear vintage Halloween masks and it could be more horror themed.   Or maybe I just over think everything.

    Kronk gets where I'm coming from as is evident in these new 8 inch Dunnys he's releasing with Kidrobot.  They remind me of Selma Hayek in From Dusk Til Dawn, which is a prime example of what I was talking about before.  She certainly is wearing less than those fortune tellers on the boardwalk in Atlantic City, so it leads me to believe she works in a more risque establishment.  The green chica is the regular version, while the purple lady is a 1 in 6 chase variant.  These witchy women will be available starting this Thursday, June 5th, for $74.99 wherever you prefer to procure your toys.  

Bad Ass: Mecha Edition from Kronk x Pobber Toys

    I just watched Pacific Rim the other day and I really enjoyed it.  Lots of good action, the CGI was impressive, and I didn't fall asleep even once.  The one thing about it that was really freaky was that the kaiju would take these massive poops and entire cities would be contaminated.  That was the real threat if you ask me.  Sure they may stomp you to death, or spit acid all over your apartment building, but who wants to die from a giant turd?  And how in the hell are you going to clean something up the size of Madison Square Garden when everyone is out building a stupid fence trying to keep these dudes out?  The answer, my friends, is in front of us.

    Not only would giant robot monkeys be pretty awesome at clobbering otherworldly monsters, but they are world class poo throwers.  I've been to the zoo, I've seen it.  So the monkeys could use the kaiju's own waste material against it like some bacteria-ridden snow ball fight.  Ok, the more I've thought about this the more I realize this is a gross and terrible idea.  Forget I said anything.  

    Kronk x Pobber Toys will be unleashing their own mecha monkey this Friday.  And this is one giant piece of plastic.  You might have to reinforce your toy shelf so he doesn't collapse it.  So first make a trip to the Home Depot and get some extra shelf brackets, then log onto www.pobber.com and get yourself one of these.   

Kronk x Pobber Toys Bad Ass "Snowflake" Edition for Minty Fresh

    This is my favorite colorway of the Bad Ass figure from Kronk and Pobber Toys.  Maybe it's because I like the winter and this dude totally looks like an abominable snowman.  Or maybe it's because it's the "Snowflake" edition and he looks like he is serving 25-life on a murder conviction.  The name "Snowflake" will never have the innocence of a small puppy dog anymore. 

     This convict-looking monkey is limited to only 50 pieces and is an exclusive to everyone's favorite designer toy store in the Netherlands, Minty Fresh.  He goes on sale tomorrow and you can check out the handy time zone listing for your part of the world in the picture up there.  Ain't it nice when things are easy.       

Art Attack Toys Exclusive "Mutant B" Edition Bad Ass from Kronk x Pobber Toys for Designer Con

    Monkeys are tricky.  You see em sitting around, looking all cute and stuff like little fuzzy people and then BAM, they rip your arms off and beat you to death with your bloody limbs.  Finally, there is a giant monkey that is advertising the fact that he is mean and will kill you.

    You've seen this dud before but never like this.  This is Bad Ass from Kronk x Pobber Toys and he is featured here in a special Mutant B edition.  He is an exclusive for Art Attack Toys and they will have him for sale at this weekend's Designer Con.  Only 50 of them exist and you can snag one at booth # 806.  

Bad Ass: Stealth Edition from Kronk x Pobber Toys Available Now

    Monkeys, no matter how big they are, always look like they want to be your friend.  Then you hear about them ripping people's arms off and beating them to death with their own limbs.  But I like to live life dangerously, so when Crystal the monkey (of such films as The Hangover and other shows that involve monkeys) came to Wildwood for photo opportunities I was all about it.  This is the resulting picture:

    Look how happy my wife and I were to have a monkey on our heads!  We stared Death in the face and have the picture to prove it!  After we took this the monkey did kill like 10 people or so, but she knew we weren't going to have it.  By the way, I have gotten even more handsome since then.

   Ok, now that you know what a bad ass I am, you know that I am fit to judge other bad ass things.  Like this mecha ape that is actually called Bad Ass.  Kronk and Pobber Toys have just released this stealth edition of this angry monkey bro.  He's pretty big and mean looking.  And if you scroll just a little further you'll see the chase version of this guy:

    You have a 1 in 6 shot of getting one of these when you order the Stealth Edition.  Get em now wherever you prefer to buy your fancy toys.  

Kronk's "Hot Date" Available Now!

    Yesterday I was getting my hair cut and this elderly lady behind me kept yelling at the girl cutting my hair to spin me around.  Once I was facing her she said "Loooooooord I knew it, he looks like that sexy man from NCIS, the one with the sexy hair."  I was flattered, then somewhat unnerved by the hungry eyes she was giving me.  Then I was back to flattered and hoping to get written in to her will.  Hey, it's hard times out there.  

    You don't have to be NCIS sexy to get a hot date, cause now you can order one without the fear of a criminal record or having to learn to speak Russian.  Kronk's long awaited Hot Date figure is finally available by going to http://www.twostepsfromhell.com/webshop/?product=bag.  Buy one for yourself, buy one for a friend, buy one to be your friend.  

More SDCC Exclusives from DKE

    I read an interview with DKE owner Dov that was conducted by Tenacious Toys that basically said you better bring some cool stuff with you that no one else has if you're going to bother setting up at conventions.  Of course, there was more to it than that, but you can clearly see the philosophy put to work in not only the amount, but the quality of exclusives that he is bringing to San Diego Comic Con.  

    Like this gloriously massive toy from Kronk x Pobber appropriately named "Bad Ass".  That is one angry monkey and you can believe that this sucker is going to sell out the moment it's released.  Only 40 pieces were produced in this Forest colorway and they will be $95 each.  Better get in line early.

    And now for something completely different.  When you think about it, most of us aren't playing with the toys that we buy; we are using them as objects of decoration to make our dwelling more pleasing.  So with that thinking, the materials that toys or collectibles are made of are irrelevant.  Why not ceramics?  Even better, why not awesome mash up ceramic figures from Robin Van Valkenburgh?  I had never heard of this particular artist before now, but after seeing this picture and then looking through their Twitter posts, I am hooked.  Equal parts sweet and disturbing, I must now own every single one.  These could very easily be the sleeper hit of the convention.

    There's absolutely nothing sweet about these two.  In fact, they look as if they've crawled from an infected wound and are off to terrorize children at summer camp. I'm pretty sure Fuei Shokai would be thrilled if no one were ever to sleep again after looking at their creations.  If one bites you don't say you weren't warned.