The Billy Bloom from doubleparlour x Kyle Kirwan

 

  

      Next time there's a global pandemic the leaders of the world need to do two things differently: For one they need to start at the first press conference by saying that the virus causes erectile dysfunction.  There wont be a man on Earth not wearing a mask, covered by a motorcycle helmet, with a can of Lysol in each hand.  Trust me, its science.  The second thing is that no matter what the virus actually looks like under a microscope, they need to show a picture of this figure.  Anyone whose pee pee isn't directly threatened will in no way shape or form want this little vampire gremlin running amok in their blood stream.  Both of these ideas prove my value to the illuminati or whoever it is that actually runs this place, and I will be expecting my offer of employment to arrive any minute.  I will not be taking questions at this time. 

    Kyle Kirwan's Bloom sculpture has never looked more aggressive thanks to the talents of husband and wife duo, doubleparlour.  This murderous little imp is cast in resin, hand painted, and comes in two different colorways.  The pink is limited to 13 pieces, while the green is even rarer at only 12.  They will be $40 each when they are released this Friday, July 2 at 11am eastern time exclusively at https://www.kylekirwan.com/.

Tenacious Toys Exclusives for Five Points Festival

    Five Points Festival is this weekend which means it's time to forget any sort of budgeting I've been doing and spend some cash like there's an asteroid headed towards Earth.  They say you can't take your stuff with you when you die, but you could glue it all together beforehand and make a pretty banging tomb that celebrates your love for inanimate objects.  Tenacious Toys will be there to help you decorate your inner chambers in high fashion with all of their convention exclusive releases, such as the Resin is King series 4 blind boxes.  At $30 a pieces. each blind box will contain a resin figure from one of the following artists: Renone, TobyArt, UME Toys, Forces of Dorkness, Eyehart Toys, Pickman's Vinyls, Leecifer , One-Eyed Girl , Kyle Kirwan, Dollar Slice Bootlegs, and Abe Lincoln Jr (with sculpting by NEMO and casting by Jacob JAMS).   There will be tons of different paint schemes and even golden tickets hidden throughout that are redeemable for awesome things.  

    You'd probably think that would be all, but you'd be so wrong that you're parents now feel ashamed of you.  Now check out this list of other items Tenacious Toys will have available just for you:

• Forces of Dorkness (Nature Warriors 6in OOAK resin figure series) 

• Nerviswrek (Inner Child Greyscale handpainted customs) 

• Rampage Toys (Cyclops Dinos Painted sofubi sets of 3) 

• Taylored Curiosities (Huoli Guadians resin figure sets) 

• Dollar Slice Bootlegs (Blue Chrome Slaughterbots) 

• Cat Atomic (pins & customs including a Finalist in Custom Category in the DTAs!) 

• Jason Adams (Will Work for Toys resin figure) 

• Pickman's Vinyls (Dick Wood - Log Private Eye resin figure) 

• Naptime Noah (various customs on many platforms) 

• NEMO & Dead Hand Toys (Danger Dog blue resin figures) 

• Manly Art (stickers and more

   That's a lot of stuff and it's all going down at booth #229.  

"Motley Edition" Koralo from Kyle Kirwan

   

       

    Let me go on the record as saying that every sweet snack food is made better by adding sprinkles.  I went to Dunkin Donuts once and asked for a strawberry iced one.  The dude behind the counter proceeded to grab one without sprinkles, while there was a whole pile of them covered in technicolor bits of sugary goodness.  What kind of psychopath would deliberately try to sell me some naked donut while the option for sprinkles was sitting right next to it?  I thought it was obvious that he'd give me a sprinkled one because he valued my business and didn't want to get shanked, but no, he thought he was gonna pass of some garbage like I wasn't even human. No, I do not regret setting that fire, let me tell you.

   This first edition Koralo from Kyle Kirwan obviously knows what's up when it comes to pastry, cause he looks like he just housed the best cake of his life.  The debut of this seven inch tall resin figure is slated for Friday, March 11th, at noon eastern time.  It's an edition of ten and each one will sell for $65 only from http://www.kylekirwan.com.  

Kyle Kirwan's Mudcat Willo for Tenacious Toys' Super Series Sunday

    Kyle Kirwan is taking resin casting where resin casting hasn't gone before.  He bought himself an RV and is gonna travel from Brooklyn to Designer Con, dropping new releases along the way like some kind of toy making Ken Kesey (though I haven't gotten word whether he's painted his magic toy bus like a crazy person or filled it with naked and stoned hippies).

   His first release will be this glow in the dark blue Mudcat Willo for Super Series Sunday from Tenacious Toys.  Hey, isn't there someone else know for making blue stuff in an RV?  Maybe I'm just imagining it.  Only 6 of these 11 inch tall figures will be available starting at 8pm eastern time tonight.  Pick one up for $100 only from www.tenacioustoys.com.  

Willo Resin Sculpture Kickstarter from Kyle Kirwan

    I think I've told this story before, but it warrants a retelling.  While living in my first apartment with my wife I made a custom figure that utilized fake antlers from a taxidermy supply company.  They needed to be shaved down a bit at their base so they would fit into the head of the figure, so I grabbed my trusty Dremel, sat out on the front stoop, and began grinding them down.  Just then two degenerates who just bought drugs from our upstairs neighbor (that's a looooong story that ended with the US Marshalls and the fastest eviction you've ever seen) come walking by and I look up at them from behind my respirator (don't breath that crap in folks) and nod so they think I'm cool and won't want to steal my tv.  One looks at the other and says, and I quote, "That's some real Jeffrey Dahmer shit."  That is when I learned that if you live around sketchy people doing sketchy things, it doesn't hurt to have them think you might be a sociopath.  

    I'm a sucker for a nice rack (of antlers) and this Willo figure from Kyle Kirwan certainly has that.  This dude needs your help to become an actual toy and you can show your support via a Kickstarter campaign going on right now.  This thing is very very close to getting funded and just needs a little extra push to make it happen.  Be a part of creating this unique toy by clicking here.

Kyle Kirwan Exclusives for New York Comic Con

    Kyle Kirwan has gone rogue, which I can appreciate.  I feel like this website is on the fringe of toy collecting, because I just don't tell you about cool stuff, I also ramble on about nonsense and try to entertain you a bit.  Make you smile while you're sitting at work or chillin on the toilet.  Yeah, it can be kind of out there at times, but you gotta take risks man.  That's what I like about Mr. Kirwan.  Sure, he could have partnered up to sell his wares at New York Comic Con, but instead he's gonna just be hanging out and selling his goods right from his backpack.  That's what Evel Knievel would do if he made toys.  And it feels dangerous, like he's a criminal mastermind or something.  I wish people would stand on the corner and sell toys instead of illegal stuff, then they wouldn't be as useless to society and I'd feel like I was doing something I shouldn't be. 

    He made 10 of each design and will be selling them for $25 each.  But you gotta find him and I have no idea what he looks like.  Maybe he just finds you.