Frank Frazetta's Conan the Barbarian One:12 Collective Figure from Mezco Toyz

   No man cave should be legally allowed to be called such if it is not decorated with the artwork of Frank Frazetta.  Why bother with sports memorabilia or decapitated deer heads when you can have painted representations of gorgeous women, invading Vikings, or Conan the freakin Barbarian.  He's the ultimate symbol of peak sword wielding manliness and no one captured him the way Frank Frazetta did.  Mezco Toyz knows that fact as they have officially licensed this One:12 collective figure from his daughter, (her company is known as Frazetta Girls and they have honored his legacy with some exciting collaborations, including the Frank Kozik x Kidrobot figures from a few years ago) bringing the iconic painting to life with enough articulation and accessories to keep Crom happy for an eternity.

    He is up for preorder now for $90 and comes with everything you see in the picture below.  Preorder one now by visiting this link.

Preorder the Latest Jax Teller Figure from Mezco Toyz

    Please tell me you've watched the series finale of Sons of Anarchy by now?  I'm still gonna be a nice guy and not ruin it for you in case you were trapped in a coal mine or you just spontaneously awoke from a coma, but those are two of the only acceptable excuses you could possibly have for missing what was a fitting send off to seven years of mayhem and heartbreak.  I have only been more depressed one time in my life while watching television, and that was when the Flyers lost the Stanley Cup to the Blackhawks in 2010.  I don't pay much attention to other sports, but I love hockey and that one gutted me.  Sons of Anarchy is the only work of televised fiction that has ever come close to that.  

   Now that I've stopped weeping like a school girl I can get back to business.  Mezco has been releasing action figures from the series for a while now, and just cause the show is over doesn't mean they're gonna stop any time soon.  This version of Jax Teller doesn't come out until the summer, but you can preorder him now to ensure you get one when the time comes.  Head over to http://www.mezcotoyz.com/ for this and all the rest of their SOA toys.  

Sons of Anarchy Mystery Box from Mezco

     Good lord did you watch Sons of Anarchy last night?  Talk about emotional.  I won't spoil it for you in case you have it stowed away on your DVR because you were somehow unable to make time for it when it originally aired (what were you doing that was more important?).  And it's killing me a little on the inside because no one I work with watches it (they're bad people) and I wanna talk about it soooooooo badly.  Especially the brilliant scene when Jax and Nero are talking on the phone.  Uggh just call out sick and go watch it.

     If you watch Sons of Anarchy I'm guessing you're a person that spits danger in the eye.  You don't just live on the edge, you dangle from it with one hand while taking a selfie with the other.  You need a surprise at every turn, and that's why the S.O.A. Mystery Box from Mezco is for you.  It's kinda like gambling, but without the shame of signing over your Ford Focus when the Eagles fail to cover the spread against the Packers.  I'll miss that car.

     For $20 you get two official Sons of Anarchy products.  What will you get?  I don't have the slightest idea, but that's what makes it exciting.  Seven lucky people that order one of these will get an upgrade to a box featuring everything you see pictured above.  That's one for each season the show has been on the air, in case you're ever on Jeopardy.  Order yours from http://www.mezcotoyz.com/.  

Seen at NYCC: Sons of Anarchy from Mezco

         

    What timing I have!  A new episode of Sons of Anarchy airs tonight, and to get you in the proper mood to watch it, I present to you some toys from the show that you will be able to own very soon.  Like this twelve inch tall Jax figure.  While far from life size, I can imagine a lot of women that will all of a sudden be compelled to collect toys.  From what I understand, he can't take his shirt off though.  Sorry ladies.  

    You remember that time that Gemma picked up a skateboard and did some impromptu reconstruction on that girl's face?  It's my favorite scene from her, and now I can ensure I never forget it when old age sets in and makes my memory worse than it already is.  Either that or I'll be really confused why the hot biker lady looks like she's about to shred a half pipe, or whatever it is people are normally supposed to do with a skateboard.  

    And now Jax can have his best friend Opie to chat it up with as they stare at you do all the bizarre things you do in your house.  You should probably wear pants more.  

    The plush line is kinda funny to me.  Funny in the fact that it doesn't include everyone's favorite transgendered hooker with a heart of gold, Venus.  Obviously it was an oversight that I'm sure someone is rushing to correct as we speak.  If I had a lot of money I would absolutely make on of those 80's kids commercials like "My Buddy" only it would be with these stuffed characters.  Some cute little girl would be playing outside with them when her older brother comes out to bully her.  Then she pulls out a knife and shanks him right in the kidney.  The brother falls down, clutching his wound, and we have this exchange:

Boy:  "I can't believe you stabbed me, I'm telling mom"!!!!!

Girl:  leans down close to his ear and whispers "Snitches get stitches, punk."  

    She then grabs her Tig doll and skips away.  Fin.  

    My genius knows no bounds.  

You can preorder most of these right now at http://www.mezcotoyz.com/.

NYCC Exclusive Sons of Anarchy Figures from Mezco

    So I read on Twitter this morning that Kurt Sutter, the creator of Sons of Anarchy, had a dream where he ended the series by revealing the entire show was all just a day dream Jax was having while driving his Vespa to Starbucks.  The amount of people that would have lost their minds if that actually happened would have been totally worth doing it.  Hopefully they'll actually film that and make it a bonus on the dvd set.  And I'm almost ashamed to admit how relatable that scenario is.  My wife is always asking me for stories about my day, which I spend the entirety of standing in front of machines and making eye glasses.  It's not really the stuff great tales are made of.  But amid the sometimes maddening sounds of sharp blades carving through chunks of plastic I find my mind wandering beyond the confines of my sterile looking room.  I get so deep in thought that I only snap out of it when someone inevitably comes in to ask me a question and scares me to the brink of a heart attack.  I really need to buy a dead bolt for my door.

    You know where they have lots of doors that lock?  Prison.  Though I doubt you really get to collect your thoughts very often while trying not to be shanked or made the object of some frightening dude's affections.  At this year's New York Comic Con, Mezco will be releasing these Jax and Clay variants that are decked out in the finest county issued outfits that tax money can buy.  If you're going to the convention you can pick them up at booth number 1855.  A limited amount will also be released online at http://www.mezcotoyz.com/exclusives/ starting this Friday, August 22nd.  

Sons of Anarchy Jax Prison Variant from Mezco Toys

    I'm gonna be honest with you:  I am not cut out for prison.  For one, I got a big germ problem.  The first time my cell mate poops in front of me I might lose my mind.  And I'm not the biggest fan of getting punched in the face, or shanked with a tooth brush that someone has whittled down to a lethal point.  I think if I ever had to go to jail I would just start acting crazy so they put me in solitary so at least I can go insane because of my own lame company and not because some behemoth has decided I'm the prettiest thing he's seen in a long time.   And I don't think they have Wi-Fi.

   I can't believe Sons of Anarchy is in the midst of filming their final season right now.  I'm excited to see how the whole thing wraps up, because there's no way it's not going to blow my mind, but I'm sad because it is the end.  I've invited these characters into my home for the last seven years and lived vicariously through their fictional lives that are far removed from mine and it will feel like losing a friend.  But the show will live forever in DVD players and on shelves of collectors through Mezco's line of action figures.  Their newest release is going to be this version of Jax Teller all decked out in his finest correctional facility wear.  He'll be available at all the major conventions this summer as well through a preorder at http://www.mezcotoyz.com/ beginning June 13th at 1pm Eastern time.  

    

Entertainment Earth Exclusive Sons of Anarchy Figures from Mezco

    Oh, let's just make all my posts about Sons of Anarchy today.  This October we will be in the thick of the last ever season of this show, and while I'll doing my best to try and not be an emotional cripple, I'll also be buying up all of these figures that are coming out.  It's how I deal with the sadness that my favorite show is ending.  And while my wife is at work and unable to judge me I can reenact the entire series.  Hopefully they come out with a dead hooker expansion pack because Barbie is not to scale.  

    Mezco has made these versions of Jax and Clay exclusively for the nice folks at Entertainment Earth.  Both will be released this October, but you can preorder them now by clicking on the Entertainment Earth button on the right of this page.  You better do it or your collection won't be complete and you'll have to buy them from some jerk on eBay who will mark them up 200%.    

Second Series of Sons of Anarchy Coins from Mezco Toys

    While the first series of Sons of Anarchy coins was to commemorate those characters that had succumbed to their vicious lifestyle, the second set features characters that are still, for now, with us.  But as the last season of the series is quickly approaching, their time in this world is most likely coming to an end.  I'm both excited and sad that my favorite show is coming to an end.  I'm excited to see how all of the insanity is wrapped up and how much further everything can spiral out of control before they reach any form of resolution.  But I am saddened that these characters that I've invited into my home for the past seven years will be gone forever.  You build an emotional investment in their fictional stories and it's hard to let that go.  I am grateful that the show will be allowed to go out on it's own terms and we will all get to see the completion of Kurt Sutter's vision the way he intended it.  Not a lot of programs get that ability.  

      I went a little off course there, but I'll try and right the ship.  These coins were produced by Mezco to go along with the actor's that portray these characters appearing at Chiller Theatre in Northern New Jersey April 25th-27th.  I haven't been to that convention in a few years and am seriously tempted to go, if for no other reason than to meet Katey Sagal who portrays Gemma.  She is by far one of the most complex characters on television and I can't imagine anyone else bringing so much life to that role.  

    You can only get these coins online by visiting http://www.mezcotoyz.com/.  

Sons of Anarchy Memorial Coins from Mezco

    One of the things that makes Sons of Anarchy such a compelling show to watch is the fact that almost no one is safe from death's cold hand.  From one week to the next you won't know if your favorite character is gonna triumph or become another victim of the lifestyle they live.  The reaper patch has a way of imposing itself like a plague with just the slightest contact.   

   But let us not forget those that have paid the ultimate price in making our Tuesday nights so filled with drama.  Mezco has created three memorial coins to coincide with the actors that portrayed these deceased character's appearance at the Chiller Theatre Expo in New Jersey Apirl 25th-27th.  Only 200 sets were made and feature a white insert that would be perfect to have signed.  And since Katie Sagal will also be there, don't be alarmed if you see a lot of people roaming around with carving forks for her to sign.  Actually, you should probably be slightly alarmed and stay away from any sinks filled with old dish water just to be safe.

Get these now at http://www.mezcotoyz.com/

Toy Fair 2014: Sons of Anarchy

    Toys aren't dangerous enough anymore.  When I was a wee little lad I used to play with Tonka trucks that were made out of sheet metal and would require you to be up to date on your tetanus shot.  And I had toy guns that looked like real guns just to up the ante if the cops happened to drive by.  Ok, I wasn't that tough when I was a kid and may or may not have cried if I got dirt in my mouth.  But we gotta toughen these little buggers up to prepare them for the realities of life, and what better way to do it than with toys from Sons of Anarchy.

    Sure, these aren't meant for your little one's toy boxes, but there are a lot of important lessons to be had in the trials and tribulations of everyone's favorite fictional motorcycle club.  They can learn the ins and outs of running your own business (pornography, gun running, etc), interpersonal communication (usually involving fists and guns), and the importance of working as a team (to hide bodies).  Mezco are kicking off their line of action figures with Jax and Clay, but assure me there will be many more characters to follow.  And something tells me their plush line will be exceptionally popular with the ladies.  I swear if I come home and my bed is full of bearded dolls used as throw pillows I'm gonna be pissed.  Not that I like throw pillows or anything.  Moving on.  

    So maybe we can't all be outlaw bikers in real life because we're not fans of getting arrested or punched in the face.  It's cool though, cause we can still ride around on Harleys and get a taste of being a badass while we look out for potholes. But if you're a biker on a budget, or you just want your desk at work to convey how much you're really not into dealing with other people's nonsense, Maisto has a second series of bikes from the show that are perfect for you.  These diecast replicas feature every detail from the bikes that they use in the show, including their unique tank graphics.  You'll even be able to buy the tow truck that has been used on more than one occasion to get the boys out of trouble/escape from law enforcement.  Expect to see them in stores this June.  

Breaking Bad Challenge Coins from Mezco

     Breaking Bad is the best show ever in the history of tv so just stop watching tv if you've already seen it because nothing will compare to it and you'll be sad and constantly wonder what Walter White would have done in every show.  You'll be watching Project Runway and Heidi Klum will send someone home, and you imagine Walt looking at her with all seriousness as he says "I'm the one who auf wiedersehens" and pulls something from his pocket and blows the place to hell.  I just made that show a thousand times better.

    When they were filming Breaking Bad the producers would give out challenge coins at the end of each season to reward the cast and crew.  Mezco has taken that idea and made some that you don't actually have to mortgage your house to afford.  There are only 4 designs left (one sold out pretty quickly) and they are being sold exclusively through 3 different retailers.  The pink bear is an exclusive to Fugitive Toys,  the car wash one is sold through Big Bad Toy Store, and the Saul Goodman and chicken joint coins are available from Vegas Dead Dolls.  Get em quick or be sad forever.  

Breaking Bad Pink Teddy Bear Eye Keychain from Mezco

    Maybe I've been a little obsessed with Breaking Bad recently.  My wife and I powered through the entire series in two weeks and are now completely up to speed with the new episodes.  We added it up and we watched two days worth of television.  Two days!!!!!  It was worth it though as it is the greatest  show I've ever seen.  And it's proven helpful in real life too, as I remind my coworkers who piss me off that I could get a giant plastic barrel and a couple bottles of acid and fix any disagreement we may have.  Suddenly, I seem to be getting my way more and more.  

    I am more stoked about this keychain than any other keychain that's ever existed.  Even more so than that Spuds McKenzie one I begged my mom to buy me when I was little.  I didn't care that is said Bud Light on it, I just liked the dog.  

(This is the exact one I convinced her to get me that just went unsold on eBay.  For some reason I was not allowed to take it to school.)

    Mezco will have this pink teddy bear eye available at New York Comic Con in October.  If you can't go they do have a limited amount available to order through their website.  And it's only $7.47!!!!! I'm guessing the price is based on the Boeing 747s that crashed together and dropped this guy and other debris into Walter White's pool.  I told you I'm a bit obsessed.  

Green Hazmat Suit Walter White By Mezco for NYCC

    I've just recently started watching Breaking Bad and am currently in the midst of the third season.  I resisted for a long time because I'm always nervous to start a new tv show.  What if I hate it and it takes me 45 episodes to realize how dumb it is?  What if it gets too corny, like True Blood did for me (Seriously, they should just call that show "Man Butt" or how about "No Dude Here Ever Wears a Shirt").  But I do love Breaking Bad and Walter White is one of the best characters in tv history.  How can you not wanna be this guy?  Well, I don't really want to make meth, or have people trying to kill me, but the cash flow is pretty sweet.  And he gets to realize his inner heathen.  

    Mezco has made 500 of these green hazmat suit editions and they will be available at New York Comic Con this October.  The online presales are already gone, so if you're not going to the con you better find yourself a mule cause this is one bad toy.  

Translucent Creature from the Black Lagoon by Mezco for NYCC

    I've been wondering when we would start to see the exclusives for New York Comic Con and this is the first one I've been able to find.  And what's great about it is that you can preorder one right now and have it shipped to you if you aren't able to attend.  Mezco has made 100 of these 9 inch Creature from the Black Lagoon figures in translucent green.  This sucker has 11 points of articulation, so displaying him could be kinda fun.  He could terrorize your other toys, or make out with them, or whatever you want to do.  Order him right now by going to http://www.mezcotoyz.com/. 

Mezco Archive Sale Happening Tomorrow

    There's nothing better than digging through other people's stuff to find treasure.  I love going to flea markets and seeing piles of things to look through, so this is like a dream come true for me.  Mezco is cleaning out it's archives and offering up everything for sale.  This is stuff that collectors would fight to the death over.  Unpainted samples, figures that were never released; just piles and piles of utlra rare pieces.  And considering they make toys for Friday the 13th, Breaking Bad, Family Guy, The Watchmen, Hellboy, and many more that I'm forgetting, it will be easy to find something you can't live without.

    The sale is open to the public (ages 13 and up) tomorrow, Friday the 16th, from noon-5pm at 2109 Borden Ave. Long Island City, NY.  This is their headquarters and how many times have you been invited to a toy company's place of business before?  Not since that restraining order I bet.

Two More Summer Exclusives from Mezco

    You know what drives me insane?  Well, a lot of things do, but this time of year what really makes me want to jump off the roof (and I'm scared of heights, so this is a big deal)?  All the cool stuff that releases at San Diego Comic Con that I can't buy.  I mean, I could buy it, because people usually post things on eBay while they're still waiting in line for them.  But I'm not a rich man.  I can't pay those kind of prices.  So I just stay mad for a few months, try to wait for the hype to die down, and then still pay way to much for them.  Mezco knows how it is.  Sure, if you're going to SDCC you could buy these figures, but if you're not then just preorder these suckers right now and have em delivered to you like a pizza.  Brilliant!

  

    You could get this Walter White figure from Breaking Bad right this instant.  He's sporting a pretty nifty hazmat suit and comes with some essential meth making accessories.  Just remember kids, even the best hazmat suit won't save you when your trailer park lab blows sky high, so be careful with those chemicals.  Nothing cramps a thriving drug business like your production facility burning up with the fire of Hades.  

    Or you could order this Cheetarah and Snarf 2 pack from the Thundercats.  It is a well established fact that no one in the cartoon world wears a leotard the way Cheetarah does.  That kinda sounded creepy now that I'm thinking about it.  Such is life.  

    Both of these are available for preorder right now at http://www.mezcotoyz.com/.

Living Dead Dolls Resurrection Series 7 from Mezco

 

    These would be a great way to punish kids.  Whenever they act up just lock them in a room full of Living Dead Dolls to modify their behavior.  Unless you have some little weirdo kids like I was, in which case they won't really see it as punishment.  I used to work at a store in the mall that I won't mention because I'm still embarrassed about it (people still ask how I was able to deal with it, though I think that's a better question for my therapist).  We had a little girl who shopped there who couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 and she carried one of these blood-soaked dolls around like a teddy bear.  I always wondered if she had tea parties and all of her guests were corpses.  She was a funny kid and will no doubt grow up to have an interesting profession involving dead people.

    Mezco is releasing the 7th series of Resurrection dolls this July.  This is where they take older designs and revamp them.  They even take the revamped versions and rerevamp them as variants.  You can buy the whole set of 4 for $225 or the set of 4 variants for $250.  You can order these undead kids from http://www.mezcotoyz.com/.

Psycho Living Dead Dolls from Mezco

    I have completely given up on that new Bate's Motel show.  The idea of the prequel has been dead to me since Star Wars tried it, so I'll admit I was a little biased going into it.  Then after having actually watched a few episodes I decided to never mistrust my initial judgement.  What sucks about the whole thing for me is just how over the top bizarre the entire town is.  There are Asian sex slaves, a drug ring, people being burned in public without anyone batting an eyelash, and other random acts of craziness that just make no sense.  What should have been interesting about the show is Norman Bate's transformation into the momma loving, knife wielding-weirdo we all love.  Instead what we get is a three ring circus that focuses on everything but his psychosis, which could have been interesting.  The lone bright spot Freddie Highmore is actually good as the young Norman.  Too bad not much can be said for the rest of the show.

  Thankfully Mezco and Living Dead Dolls are here to remind everyone about the classic film and not this new crap.  These two are recreating the famous shower scene in which Anthony Perkins hacks to pieces Janet Leigh.  Sure it's tame by todays standards of blood and gore but this movie has withstood the test of time and even one really bad shot by shot remake.

   For $64 you get both dolls, which is a pretty good deal in my book.  You can preorder them now and they'll be shipped to you when they release in October.