She’s Wicked Vinyl Figure from Naomi Knaff

   I don’t have many stories involving spiders because I am content enough to let them do their thing without my interference. It’s actually a good way to live your life in relation to a lot of things and some people may know it as “minding your own damn business” but many choose to ignore it. Anyway, my spider story involves my day job and a person sitting on the other side of my desk. I’m busy trying to convince them to give me all of their money and they’re busy trying to give me as little of their money as possible when I spot something dangling above their head. A tiny little spider has made his way Mission Impossible style from the ceiling and lands right in the poor woman’s hair. Not knowing how she would react to her new tenant and not wanting it to get killed in the process I had to think quickly. So I said the two word that any stranger wants to hear to put them immediately at ease: hold still.

     I reached across the desk, plucked the offending arachnid from her hair, and set him free outside where hopefully he lived a long and prosperous life and was not eaten by a bird or something like that. And what might have happened had I not intervened? You’re about to find out. Or if you looked at the picture up there you already know. Don’t be a smart ass, just go with it.

     She’s Wicked is not only a description, it’s her actual name and it’s easy to see how she came upon it. This is the latest figure from artist Naomi Knaff, who has forced a Lisa Frank notebook to take acid and watch every season of The Bachelor in a row without an intermission. Ok, I don’t know if that’s how she came up with this but I certainly mean it as a compliment. This spooky mamacita features 16 points of articulation, which is like 13 more than I have left at my age, stands 10 inches tall, and is limited to 5 hand painted pieces by the artist herself. She can be yours for $220 when she goes on sale this Thursday June 22 at 8-m European time only at https://www.naomiknaff.com/. 

Custom LaMorrtt Release from Nate the Milkman x Naomi Knaff

    I love seeing main stream toy releases that have the audacity to put a sticker on their box touting them as limited edition followed by a number that's in the tens of thousands.  Proudly they shine with metallic luster proclaiming that only you and 25,000 of your closest friends could possibly be the lucky owners of this figure.  Most stadiums can't hold that many people at one time so the idea of being hard to find is kind of laughable.  You wanna know limited?  How about three, as in only three people that are currently alive or that will be born before the release date can ever own one of these.  Those are numbers that inspire fights and a lifetime of envy from anyone who misses out.

    Nate the Milkman is not an actual milk man as far as I know, but he is delivering the goods (see what I did there) when it comes to these custom LaMorrtts.  He painted up three of Naomi Knaff's vinyl babies and if offering them for sale via his website today, August 10th, at 5pm pacific time.  They will be $120 each and can only be found at natethemilkman.bigcartel.com.

LaMorrttt More Dead Than Death Itself Edition from Naomi Knaff

   Black coffee.  Black metal. Black t-shirts.  I have no use for the first one, but the other two are delightful.  Now you can add LaMorrttt to that list as he has shed all color and become the epitome of darkness.  Gaze into the void and allow yourself to be swallowed by the abyss!!!  Or you could just put him on your shelf and admire him from a good safe distance.  I'd say ten feet is probably a nice start to not be drawn into oblivion, but there's really no trusted authority that I know of with any published literature on the subject.  You should consult your local library to be sure.

  Naomi Knaff's vinyl creation was brought to life by Planet X and is only available via www.naomiknaff.com for $70 each.

   

Citron Edition La Morrttt from Naomi Knaff x Planet X

   This figure is the closest thing to sunshine I've seen in a while because it has rained all week in New Jersey.  There's been mildly inconvenient rain, flood-inducing down pours, and enough thunder and lightning to scare my cats off of their eating schedule.  The best part is when it scares them into a fear induced stampede that will start no matter where they happen to be sitting at the time.  Have you ever had a cat use your chest as a starting block when they attempt to run and hide from thunder?  Good thing I have a high pain tolerance and enough respect for others to not take my shirt off in public.  No need to thank me, it's what heroes do.

    Naomi Knaff is offering up the promise of dryer and sunnier days to come via her La Morrttt figure from Planet X.  For $80 it's almost guaranteed to push your seasonal depression out the door for good.  Snag one tomorrow, Sunday May 20th, at 5pm eastern time exclusively through www.naomiknaff.com.

 
    

The Vinyl Debut of La Mort from Naomi Knaff x Planet X Asia

  Writing about toys is a weird thing.  I do it because I enjoy seeing something I'm inspired by and adding my two cents to its narrative.  Sometimes that is easy and my hands work overtime trying to keep up with the voice in my head.  Naomi Knaff is one of those artists whose work screams for stories to be told about it and I am beyond proud to be able to write about this toy.  I had absolutely nothing to do with it, but to see her work make the jump to vinyl is something well deserved and long overdue.

   Having teamed up with the prolific folks at Planet X Asia , Naomi is debuting her vinyl figure La Morrtt this Sunday. This is one mean looking fish/goat something or other that I could totally see swarming helpless beach goers.  Can you imagine, you think you're safe when you make it back yo shore only to realize that the little devil can run like a gazelle?  I'd watch that on the SYFY Channel all day long.

    Standing almost 8 inches tall and featuring one point or articulation at the neck, this teal beauty will retail for $80 plus shipping.  He'll be available exclusively from www.naomiknaff.com this Sunday, April 15th.

Black Friday Sales Part 1

Naomi Knaff

Black Friday sale 15% off! One week only code BLACK15

Kidrobot

15% OFF Orders of $99 or more with promo code: BLACKFRIDAY15OFF

20% OFF Orders of $199 or more with promo code: BLACKFRIDAY20OFF

25% OFF Orders of $299 or more with promo code: BLACKFRIDAY25OFF

Bigshot Toyworks

Frazetta Girls

Taylored Curiosities

La Maudite Resin Figure from Naomi Knaff

    For me, Naomi Knaff is at the top of the resin game.  Her work is 100% original, surreal as it gets, and never dull to look at.  Calling them "figures" is a bit misleading I suppose, as each one is a bizarre little work of art.  Her latest release, La Maudite, perfectly captures all those attributes.  Standing at 6 inches tall, each figure is hand cast and painted by their creator.  The first three of these one-off sculptures will be available tonight (Sunday, September 10) at 6pm est, while two more will be available next month at New York Comic Con.  Pick one up at http://www.naomiknaff.com for $70 plus shipping.

Naomi Knaff is Running a Summer Sale

    The summer is flying right by, which I'm cool with because it is too hot for my blood out there.  I've used gallons of sunscreen so I don't fry like bacon and I've certainly been bitten by enough bugs to have turned into Spider Man by now.  Summer is not all bad though, because sometimes you get to buy cool stuff on sale.  Case in point, Naomi Knaff is running a sale on her website that will give you 25% off anything you want by merely typing in the code SWEATYTOYS at checkout.  Get yourself some crazy resin madness at low low prices by checking out http://www.naomiknaff.com.  The offer is only good for the week so quit your procrastinating.  

Black Friday Sales Extravaganza Part Deux

3D Retro

Brian Ewing

doubleparlour

Naomi Knaff

Naomi Knaff's Resin Releases for DesignerCon

    Today in the United States we are deciding who it is we will collectively complain about as president for the next four years.  Every time a new election rolls around tons of us can be seen posting online that if our candidate doesn't win we're moving to Canada!  Well I hate to break it to you, but Canada doesn't want us.  Unless you have a highly sought after skill like being a nuclear engineer or professional moose wrestler, our neighbors to the north just aren't that interested.  And who can blame them, because we can be loud, and we rarely put the seat down when we're done in the bathroom.   I'm understand completely Canada, and I still love Tim Hortons and your clean cities, and your lack of violent crime.  

    Naomi Knaff just happens to be Canadian (see how I tied it all together there) and is making the trek from the Great White North all the way to California for next weekend's DesignerCon.  She'll have a load of her crazy resin creations with her, some of which you can see right here:

 
    And she'll be debuting a collaboration with Magitarius, which you can also see right here:

    When Lisa Frank has a nightmare do you think it looks something like these?  I bet it does.  You should visit Naomi at booth # 1015, but only if you want to own the most creative resin toys out there or if you're trying to get her to smuggle you across the border.  

Seathing Micro Run from Naomi Knaff

    The ocean is a frightening place.  There is stuff lurking under there we can't even comprehend and I would bet most of it wants to taste our sweet flesh.  I live near the Atlantic Ocean and this time of year the Coast Guard is always searching for people who get swept up in a rip current or fall of a boat and most of the time that is it for them.  What's left may wash up a week later, giving whoever finds them an image they'll never get out of their minds.  They sea is not only a cruel mistress, but that chick has got the creepy crawlies too.  I don't know how people swim offshore on purpose without being consumed with wondering what's lurking beneath them.  

    Is Naomi Knaff giving us a glimpse of the abyss with her Seathing resin creature?  Have our murky overlords sent them as spies to assess how easy it will be to rule both surf and turf?  Have I finally gone off the proverbial deep end?  That was all supposed to be read in one of those dramatic voices that go with movie previews by the way, so if you didn't do it right I'll wait for you to go back and try it again.  Go on now....

.....ok, now back to business.  There are only three of these dudes in this small run and they will be available beginning July 1st at noon eastern time only from http://www.naomiknaff.com

Introducing Peter Garou from Naomi Knaff

    Living hundreds of years ago wasn't easy.  The average life span meant you were a teenager during your mid life crisis, indoor plumbing wasn't a thing, and since travel wasn't as easy as today there was a good chance that the local gene pool was a tad murky.   All things considered, snuggling up with your cousin seems like the least of your problems.

    According to an old German story there existed a man named Peter Stumpp who moonlighted (get it? dang that was funny) as a werewolf that terrorized the town of Bedburg.  He was put on trial and then executed for his terrible crimes in a fashion that would make lethal injection seem like a Botox treatment.  Not that he didn't deserve it if the accounts of his crimes are true, cause dude was pretty messed up.

    Naomi Knaff was inspired by this story to create her latest resin monster, Peter Garou.  He stands just over 7 inches high and will be released on June 20th at 12am during the full moon.  Kinda spooky, right?  Get em at http://www.naomiknaff.com.

    

Introducing "Donny" The Newest Resin Creation from Naomi Knaff

     If you're ever wandering through the woods, as I know many of you are apt to do, and hear a noise that sounds like it could come from this creature, you better run like you just loaded up at the Golden Corral and the nearest toilet is but a lonely speck in the horizon.  See this here is Donny, and despite having a genial name like he would play in your dad's softball league, this dude is all business.  He looks like some sort of devil chicken who's only means of concealing his modesty is one of those bathing suits from Borat (you can Google that if you want to see it, cause there's no way I'm posting a picture of it).  He probably killed Colonel Sanders and has dire intentions for the entire Perdue family.  Did I ever tell you that I met Frank Purdue once at a movie theater?  It was when they released the original Star Wars movies and he and a woman not much older than 30 (dude was like 150 at the time) who looked like she was in training to be a centerfold walked out right behind us and I held the door for him.  His son, who has taken over staring in the tv commercials, was right behind him and had a look that didn't seem to approve of his father's choice in ladies.  I thought he could do worse for a stepmom.

     

    

    Naomi Knaff will be releasing her latest resin creature on Sunday, May 1st, at 5pm eastern time only from http://www.naomiknaff.com.  This sucker stands 7 inches tall and is solid as a brick.  Pick one up before you watch WWE Payback you'll have the best Sunday ever.  

Naomi Knaff is Having a Sale!

 
    Let me tell you something:  I love a sale.  Just the other day Sharon and I walked into our local Target so she could re up her supply of fruits snacks, and there on the clearance rack was one of those two foot tall Stormtroopers.  I smiled the whole way to the counter as I carried my 30% off prize, excited by the combination of savings and Star Wars.  Then the nice lady at the checkout scanned it and my heart dropped as it came up full price.  Luckily I didn't have to start a holy war as the issue was easily corrected, and my brand new toy was ushered to its new home.

    Resin wizard Naomi Knaff is having a sale on her insane creations to make way for new things.  Save 15% right now by visiting her site at http://www.naomiknaff.com.

    

Naomi Knaff is Bringing Resin Madness to Designer Con **Updated**

    You ever watch that show Monsters Inside Me where the people are all like "I was totally having the worst headaches and when I went to blow my nose all of these weasels fell out"?  It's never actually been weasels, but how cute would that be?  Or a guy could have some growth on his leg and out popped a kitten. Unfortunately it doesn't ever turn out to be that.  It always involves some worm-like critter that makes your life miserable for a bit before a heavy dose of antibiotics and some usually very disgusting occurrence serves to rid you of it.  Or as I like to call it, Saturday night.  

    The resin creations of Naomi Knaff make me think of what bad dreams would look like if they could take a physical form and be surgically removed.  That is probably the highest complement I've ever paid anybody, because I love them.  These are our bad thoughts manifested into hyper-color monsters and should be preserved in pickling liquid and put on display in curiosity shops, where they will have a warning never to open their jar under penalty of law.  Kinda like a mattress tag but with more immediate and dire consequences.  

    Naomi is bringing her insane creations to this year's Designer Con and can be found at booth #724.    If you're going you should see her work in person because like most things on the internet, the pictures don't do them justice.  

UPDATE!!!!!!!!

    The two figures you see below are custom paint jobs courtesy of Tru Slithers and they will also be available.  Pretty sick!

Available Now: New Lamorrttt! One-Offs from Naomi Knaff

    Does it ever weird you out that we're still discovering new species of animals?  You would think by now that all the drones and Google whatever technology would have scoured every inch of the Earth and documented everything in brilliant high definition by now.  Even though cameras are always there if a celebrity has her naughty bits exposed, there are creatures that have made a career out of hiding and waiting to be stumbled upon.  And it's not always bacteria either; we're talking full blown mammals just chillin in a tree, eating fruit and not concerned about a damn thing.  The world is strange.

    So it's entirely plausible, nay, probable, that something like the critters that Naomi Knaff comes up with are just hanging out under a rock, waiting to take a selfie with you.  Her work is straight out of a technicolor Lovecraftian nightmare and I love it.  If you want to own some of it for yourself she has just loaded up her online store with some one-offs of her Lamorrttt! figure.  Check em out and all of her other wares over at http://www.naomiknaff.com. 

Naomi Knaff's Insane Resin Creations for ToyCon UK

    How crazy are these figures?  They're like some technicolor Lovecraftian nightmare and I love them.  These are the spawn of artist Naomi Knaff and they will all be available at next week's ToyCon UK at booth number 27.   I wouldn't be surprised if each one contained the soul of some ancient monster that roamed the earth long before we did, in which case you shouldn't put it somewhere that your cat could knock it over and unleash what is probably a very pissed off spirit.  Cats are always doing that stuff.