Gachafest 2020 from Toy Art Gallery x Paul Kaiju

     You better take advantage of Gachafest because this is the closest thing to Coachella you're gonna see this year.  I used to love going to festival shows when I was younger because I could check a huge amount of bands off my list in one shot.  At the risk of sounding old I will admit that I would rather gargle bleach than subject myself to a music festival now.  Mostly because I just can't deal with the summer heat the way I used to, but also because the older I am the shorter my attention span gets.  Even when my wife and I go to shows now if there's more than one opening act I second guess buying tickets.  For one, I like to get to the point. I don't need to be warned up, I maintain my level of warmth like a handsome crock pot. Secondly, my bedtime is much earlier now and it takes me a week to recover should I be brazen enough to ignore it.  

    Toy Art Gallery is unleashing a plethora of Paul Kaiju mini figures as part of the aforementioned Gachafest.  Each tiny sofubi figure stands about two inches tall and is only $10 each, which if my calculations are correct mean you could by enough with your stimulus check to fill a regulation sized wheelbarrow.   They'll be available this Friday, May 8th, at noon pacific time only from https://www.toyartgallery.com.  

Marbled Slugbeard Lottery from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    It's been a long time since we've seen a Slugbeard release, but like an absentee father he has come back around just when you were about to search through the local obituaries. That line to get cigarettes at the corner store really is something else!! And now that I think about it, Slugbeard is kind of asking you for money and a place to stay after not even calling you for your last 25 birthdays. It only sorta hurts to explain to your cats why they have just met one of their grandfathers, no big deal I guess, but you will not promise them that you'll be there to watch the Hoarders marathon on Saturday with them and then no show because you were called in to work at your job with the CIA to avert another national crisis.  

    Toy Art Gallery has a lottery happening right now that will last through Wednesday that gives you the opportunity to purchase one of these bad boys with the gangsta lean from Paul Kaiju.  You want one of these rarities then this is what ya gotta do to get one:

    The Slugbeard Marble Edition retails for $175 and will be released via email lottery starting on Monday, Feb. 24th at 12PM PST and ending on Wednesday, Feb. 26th at 12PM PST. Email sales@toyartgallery.com with “Slugbeard Lottery” as the subject along with your paypal address and shipping info. If selected you will be sent an invoice for payment. Please allow 24 hours for a response after the closing time. Winners will be chosen at random, one entry per participant please (if you submit more than once you will be disqualified). Good luck!

"Scab Empire Babies" Minions from Paul Kaiju x Skinner x Lulubell Toys

    Back in the day if someone told you they had minions to do their bidding you'd imagine some dirty little cretins who lurked in the shadows and had low credit scores.  Now because of a very famous  animated film series all anyone ever thinks of are those yellow pill shaped critters who speak a language that makes Sylvester Stallone sound like a refined English gentleman.  Behold the rise of the Scab Empire, which sounds way grosser than the Empire Darth Vader was running.  Seriously, who wouldn't rebel against the Scab Empire, it's not the most appealing name to write on checks when paying your taxes.

    Skinner and Paul Kaiju have resurrected their evil little sofubi bay bays and are offering them up as a set this Saturday, January 13th through Lulubell Toys.  For $80 you get both because separating them would be a crime against minion kind and also because what kind of cruel freak would do such a thing?  They grew up together, raise hell together, and they'll be mailed to your house together and that's just the way it is, cowboy!

    The adoption line forms at https://www.lulubelltoys.com.

Giant Vinyl Mockbats from Paul Kaiju x Unbox Industries

   Forget fiberglass, because Unbox Industries is proving that not only can you make giant figures out of vinyl, but it can also be relatively affordable.  These Mockbats from Paul Kaiju are nearly three feet of sweet sweet plastic that are just as articulated as their smaller relatives.  You have your choice between orange, black, and pink and the preorder for them will begin this Saturday, July 22nd, and they will retail for $750 each, which considering their size seems like a great price to me.  Check out the details at http://store.unboxindustries.info to secure yourself one.  Get one just in time for Halloween and take your decorating into the year 2087.

Milky Bloom Hyper Kraken Raffle from Paul Kaiju

 

    Ok, here's the best case scenario the world can hope for right now:  That idiot from North Korea fires a nuke and it lands in the ocean, mutating sea creatures into massive kaiju, then all the nations of the world band together in some kumbayah moment to vanquish the beasts and save humanity from becoming a great source of protein.  And then America's idiot and all of his cronies fly out to check the damage but one of the monsters wasn't quite dead so it swallows their helicopter whole.  Yeah, maybe I did just write the prequel to Pacific Rim, no big deal.

   Paul Kaiju's Hyper Kraken looks primed to attack an island in the Pacific at a moments notice.  This Milky Bloom beauty will be available via lottery this Sunday, June 4th at 6pm pacific time.  You only have a half hour to enter for a chance to buy one so act quickly.  And if you know Guillermo Del Toro, pass along my movie idea.

Fuchsia Fight Luftkaiser from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

     Fuchsia is one of those words that look like a terrible idea when you're typing it, as it come dangerously close to being a vulgarity.  Then you realize that the word is derived from the German botanist Leonhart Fuchs and you begin to feel terribly sorry for him during his high school years.  That's a pretty brutal last name to deal with during your younger years, right up there with Weiner or Butts.   Maybe "right up there" wasn't the best phrasing I could have used.  

    This new Luftkaiser from Paul Kaiju is the ultimate tribute for any 16th century plant loving dude.   Available via lottery from Toy Art Gallery, you can enter from this Friday April 7th until the lottery closes on Monday, April 10th.  Just send an email to sales@toyartgallery.com with Luftkaiser Lottery as the subject along with your Paypal address and shipping details.  Only enter once though, or you'll get disqualified and feel like a dummy.  

  

Paul Kaiju Solo Show at Stranger Factory

 

     I'll admit I know nothing about Albuquerque, New Mexico other than that's where Breaking Bad was filmed and it is also the location of Stranger Factory.  And it's the hardest city name to spell ever. You can not go into trying to type it lightly, as it will wreck every bit of confidence you have in your ability to arrange vowels and consonants like a sane person.  I'll be honest, it owned me pretty hard.

  If you happen to be in the Albuquerque area or have mad frequent flier miles and a day off from work, you should spend your Saturday at Stranger Factory to see Paul Kaiju's solo show.  And you don't have to just see it, you can also buy something super sick to bring home with you and dominate your toy shelves like a boss.  A really mean boss who spits on your union handbook and the guaranteed break times located within.  This show will easily sell out and you have to be present to purchase anything.

Dark Cosmos Edition Gacha Set from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

   Look at these tiny Paul Kaijus!!!!!!!!  Aren't they just the sweetest little things?  This is known as the Dark Cosmos Edition of his popular gacha series and speaking of outer space I think it's high time the aliens went ahead and revealed themselves and invade our planet for better or worse.  Would we even bat an eyelash at this point if a UFO landed on the White House lawn, or would it just be a labeled as "fake news" and brushed aside like everything else is?  Or maybe they're already here and they're much crueler than we could have ever anticipated.  I already feel like we're gathered at the base of a space craft, waiting for the door to open and reveal whatever our fate will be.  Maybe I should skip the next Twilight Zone marathon.

    Toy Art Gallery will have this set of critters available beginning tomorrow, Friday the 13th, at noon pacific time.  You better get them now before we are all forced to work in the salt mines on a far away planet that doesn't have WiFi.

www.toyartgallery.com

Paul Kaiju Exclusives for DesignerCon

    Paul Kaiju has been posting tons of teasers for his DesignerCon exclusives and I'm over here just fiending for every one.  Seriously, he has outdone himself and there isn't a thing I wouldn't drop kick a stranger to own.  His booth #533 will involve two days of lotteries and you can see some of what is to be offered in these two photos.   And here is the schedule if you plan on purchasing anything:

Paul Kaiju Booth #533  Schedule
Saturday November 19th:

9:00am – 2:30pm: Free tickets available for Saturday Drawing
3:00pm: Random Drawing for Paul Kaiju Figures

Sunday November 20th:

10:00am – 1:30pm: Free tickets available for Sunday Drawing
2:00pm: Random Drawing for Paul Kaiju Figures

    But that isn't even all of it, no sir, because he's got even more releases at other booths.  Unbox Industries (booth #1021) The Sour Lemon (booth #1800) and Vinyl Goldmine (booth #623) will also have different items for sale.  Sadly, I will be working, but you go an have fun for me so I can live vicariously through your Instagram posts.

Lottery Info for Paul Kaiju's Latest Hyper Kraken

    You know what you could do with an hour of your time?  You could be watching Westworld on HBO, which is like if Philip K. Dick had written Deadwood.  It's so good that you could just watch the opening credits and feel like you've just witnessed something magical.  Sharon and I marathoned the first three episodes and are now going through withdrawals waiting for the fourth.  The first episode was so good that the entire show could have ended there and you wouldn't have been upset.  You would have wanted more, but they packed so much story into it that it could have stood alone as a great art film.  Just go watch it and thank me later.  But finish reading this post first because that would be the polite thing to do.

    This toy is rooted more in the aquatic world of Jules Verne than science fiction, but that doesn't make me love it any less.  Paul Kaiju's Hyper Kraken is returning in the incarnation you see above and will be part of a lottery system this Sunday with an extremely limited window.  Beginning October  23rd at 6pm pacific time and lasting for only one hour, you will have the chance to enter via http://paulkaiju.com to be able to purchase this magnificent figure.  Cancel your plans, take your vitamins, and say your prayers and maybe you will be lucky enough to own one of these.  

Mixed Parts Mini Mockbats from Paul Kaiju X Unbox Industries

    In the summer I always look like I'm made of mixed parts, cause my head, neck and arms will be tan, while the rest of me is the color of one of those cave slugs.  I never try to get tan in the shape of my shorts and tshirt, it's just the hand I've been dealt as a modest dude who refuses to walk around without a shirt on.  Not only would it make me uncomfortable, but I feel as a responsible nipple owner it is my duty to keep them safe.  I've said too much.

   These suckers are gonna sell out so fast and be all over Instagram in plenty of situations that will make you mad jealous if you can't participate.  So when these Mockbats from Paul Kaiju and Unbox Industries go on sale Saturday April 23 you best be ready to get one.  They're sold blind so you can't pick the colors, but just getting one is gonna be so awesome it won't matter which color combo you get.  They're only going to be available from store.unboxindustries.info.

Bubble Gum Pink Slugbeard from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Gallery

    A slug beard sounds like something some evil cursed wizard would have.  Writhing, slimy little creatures would cover his face similar to Medusa's hair snakes, except the slugs would be way grosser.  See, with a normal beard you have the ability to catch savory morsels of food that somehow got lost on the way to your mouth.  With a slug beard those tasty bits will be covered in that iridescent slime and rendered inedible.  That's really the only drawback I can think of.

   Paul Kaiju and Toy Art Gallery are unleashing this big honking piece of bubble gum-lookin vinyl onto the world on April 15th at noon pacific time.  And it's not even a lottery, so you gotta have your eyes focused on www.toyartgallery.com when they drop, otherwise you will fall into a pit of despair.  Not a literal pit, mind you, but a theoretical one which can be must worse.  

Candie Bolton Tackles Paul Kaiju's Mock Pilot

   

    Are you in a state of depression because everything from Paul Kaiju's show this past weekend at Stranger Factory sold in one night?  Wipe those crusty tear trails from your face and get back on your toy buying horse because you're getting another chance at glory.  And if having a Paul Kaiju figure wasn't prize enough, Candie Bolton applying a sweet paint job on top of it is like getting a brownie covered in birthday cake topped with fried twinkies.  That will probably kill you in real life, so please realize it is only safe to consume as a metaphor.

    Now for the all important details of how you can actually own one of these.  They will go on sale Tuesday, March 22nd at 6:30 pacific time only at http://www.candiebolton.com.  Each set will be $200 and most likely sell very quickly, so don't get caught up in watching Judge Mathis and forget about them.

    

Stranger Factory Presents: Paul Kaiju

    You know what I hate: art critics.  And I hate the people that stand in front of museum paintings and wax philosophical about how an artist was struggling with a bout of hemorhoids and how if affected the troubled faces of the people he painted.  Who gives a crap (pun intended).  Nickelback may be singing about the deepest stuff that would forever change the way I look at the world but until their music becomes anything other than the sonic equivalent of sports sandals I'll never know the difference.  I like art that looks cool; that I can wake up every morning excited to look at.  I like to be aesthetically pleased.

    I would straight lose my mind if I could see this Paul Kaiju show at Stranger Factory.  The place is going to be filled with his monstrous creations and I would bet money no one tries to impress their date by explaining the political significance of a Mockbat in these troubling times.  They're just gonna smack themselves to stop the trance it puts them in and try to buy it before anyone else can.  The show opens Saturday, March 19th and will only be visible for a few days.  If you're interested in buying something I would get there opening night because anyone who collects toys would punch their own grandmother to own one of the pieces.  Don't worry, my grandma is tough and a few knuckles to the jaw ain't gonna slow her down.

"Buttercream" Mockbat Lottery from Paul Kaiju

    My wife and I bucked all sorts of traditions when we got married.  For starters we did it at a Philadelphia Flyers game in one of those fancy luxury suites rather than a church so we had no problem ignoring one of the more baffling things a couple can do, which is save part of their wedding cake to eat a year later.  I can think of much better ways to celebrate your anniversary than eating some stank old freezer burned confections.  But I do have an aversion to freezing food anyway, cause my mom used to freeze EVERYTHING.  Loaves of bread, snack cakes; if it was deemed edible it was deemed freezable.  There's not too many things in life worse than eating a sandwich with half thawed bread.

    This new Mockbat from Paul Kaiju is certified fresh indeed!  In fact, its down right pretty and looks delicious.  The only way you can own one is by entering the lottery when it goes live this Sunday at 6pm pacific time on www.paulkaiju.com.  All the details can be found there, while I can be found at the grocery store raiding their bakery.

Kenth Toy Works Takes on Paul Kaiju's Mockbat

    Paul Kaiju really doesn't need anyone to paint his toys, cause he does an incredible job all by himself.  So when I see that someone is doing their own release of one of his crazy characters I'm very interested to see what they've done with it.

    Behold, the Mockbat as interpreted by Kenth Toy Works. It's certainly a different look than what we're used to seeing, and that's what makes it interesting.  The figure already has boatloads of personality which is well enhanced by this technicolor paint job.  Now, being that I've sold you on this and you can't live without having one in your life, I'm gonna give you the details on how to make all your dreams come true.  Just follow these instructions as provided by Kenth:

December 19th (Sat) 0:00 to December 25th (Fri) 23:00 (Japan time) • Item

Paul Kaiju "Mockbat" Kenth Custom $200 (Shipping fee is not included) • Payment Method

- PayPal 

Please enter your Name, Address, Phone No and Email to [ktw.order@gmail.com] * If the orders over the limitation then we are going to raffle and winners are announced by Email. * After we accept orders, we cannot accept any cancel requests. Please be careful, if you cancel your order, we are afraid to say that we will refuse any orders in the future.

Mini Mockbats from Paul Kaiju x Unbox Industries Releasing Today!!!

    Paul Kaijus's Mini Mockbats are releasing tonight via Unbox Industries which is good cause I've been mad jealous at all the pictures I've seen of them from Designer Con.  They're so dang cute and look like they would sit perfectly in the pocket of my work shirts.  Then when someone is being unreasonable I could pat him on the head and say "shhhhhhh little buddy, we're going to try and handle this one without the hatchet."  Customer service issues would be solved in a matter of seconds.  See, people have the belief that no one that they're dealing with will just snap on them, thus making them act much more unreasonable in these type of situations.  But if you put it out there that their attitude is revealing a dark twisted side of you that may or may not take advice from a toy in your pocket, people might think twice about demanding to return something they bought four years ago but swear they never used and want to speak with a manager right away because obviously you can't give them the satisfaction they demand and are just continuing to waste their time which is by far more precious than the time they are wasting of yours as they continue to spew nonsense.  It's never happened to me, but I've heard stories.

   These little bros will be on sale today/tonight sometime over at http://store.unboxindustries.info.  Each figure is $40 and sold randomly, so you can't pick your color.  They all look good to me so I'd be happy with any of them.  

For the First Time Ever at Designer Con: Splurrt

    Splurrt is making his first trek out to Designer Con this year and he's bringing a veritable pile of toys that will stare at you as you sleep and teleport nightmares into your brain (or so I heard).  He's sharing  booth #553 with Paul Kaiju and his freaky creations will only be available on Saturday via lottery system.  So you're gonna need to grab yourself a ticket between 9am and noon, then return at 3pm when the selling madness begins.  If anything is left after the craziness dies down it will be sold on a first come first served basis.  In total he will have over 160 figures for sale, including the ones you see here.  I'm guessing he won't be bringing much back home with him.  

   

"Red Rub" Vertebrata from Paul Kaiju x Blobpus x Toy Art Gallery Lottery Details

    I love when people commit crimes using unconventional weapons.  One of my favorite stories of such an occurrence was when a man walked into a gas station near where I used to live, and robbed the place with a broom.  He cleaned out the cash register by brandishing an item used to clean the floor.  I never found out whether he got to the place and just winged his approach, or if he brought the thing with him as part of a well thought out plan.  The former I can understand, because he could have just had poor impulse control, but the latter is way more bizarre.  The guy looked around his house, was struck by a moment of divine inspiration, and drove with his weapon to make some quick cash from the Texaco.

    You may, in a few brief moments, notice that the above story has nothing to do with the toy you see there.   I had already typed this story out for a different post, but then that toy sold out and I thought it would be a waste to just delete what I had already written, so here it is.  One less story being sent to the landfill.

    The newest edition of Vertebrate from Paul Kaiju x Blobpus x Toy Art Gallery will be available via lottery submission starting today at noon pacific time.  You have until Monday at noon to enter for a chance o buy one of these freaky ladies.  Here's more info on the lottery:

The Vertebrata Red Rub Edition retails for $85 and will be released via email lottery starting on Wednesday, August 26th at 12PM PST and ending on Monday, Aug. 31st at 12PM PST. Email sales@toyartgallery.com with “Vertebrata Lottery” as the subject along with your paypal address and shipping info. If selected you will be sent an invoice for payment. Please allow 24 hours for a response after the closing time (Monday 12PM PST). Winners will be chosen at random, one entry per participant please (if you submit more than once you will be disqualified). Good luck!

   

Last Day to Enter the Slugbeard Lottery from Paul Kaiju x Toy Art Galley

    I am getting so old.  Last night Sharon and I went to The Smashing Pumpkins/Marilyn Manson show and I am dragging this morning.  It's the first show we've been to in a long time because frankly, we've seen just about everyone we could ever want to that's still alive,  We used to go to shows all the time so we checked just about everyone of our must-see list.  We've seen both of these bands numerous times, but they are two of our absolute favorites and the show was amazing.  I do have one question though: when did people start watching the shows only through their phones?  Everywhere we looked were people who were just taking pictures and recording snuff film quality footage on their cell phones.  Whats the point of paying to see a band live if you're going to spend the entire time wondering if you got something worthy of uploading to Facebook?  People are weird.  

   All those people could have done something productive with their data plans, like enter the latest Sluggard lottery from Paul Kaiju and Toy Art Gallery.  It ends today at 12pm pacific time and these are the details you need:

Email sales@toyartgallery.com with “Slugbeard Lottery” as the subject along with your paypal address and shipping info. If selected you will be sent an invoice for payment. Please allow 24 hours for a response after the closing time (Monday 12PM PST). Winners will be chosen at random, one entry per participant please (if you submit more than once you will be disqualified). Good luck!