The Debut of Creepy Giant from Naoki Okamato and Planet X

     Sometimes, a man just needs a freakin huge weird toy with maggots and skin rips and assorted other horrors the get him through the day.  I flip flop in my interests between really cute stuff and stuff that would make you puke your liver out.  I'm all about diversifying my collecting portfolio and also having stuff that will confuse the hell out of any people that may enter my home.  You wanna use my bathroom?  Then you'll have to pass by the adjacent wall of Catholic iconography (mostly the Virgin Mary, she's dope).  And yeah, I may have a mummified fetal pig, but do I also have a picture of Lady Gaga in a dress made of Hello Kitty plush?  I think you know the answer.

   I don't know what on Earth happened to this guy, but I don't think a trip to the emergency room is gonna help.  This is the debut vinyl figure from artist Naoki Okamato and it is I-N-S-A-N-E.  I think this may be how twins happen, but I also think I just made that up.  This behemoth was produced by Planet X, stands a whopping 12 inches tall, and will make its debut at Wonderfestival later this month. This version will be released online after, so don't let you black little heart weep with despair from missing out.  Follow Planet X on Instagram by clicking here to keep up with the latest info.

B.F.M. Sum Lottery from Plaseebo x Planet Asia

   I'll let you use your imagination to figure out what B.F.M. stands for, but suffice to say when you're dealing with this much blood it's exactly what you'll find yourself in.  Whether from a cleaning or legal standpoint, the M absolutely stands for "mess" and Plaseebo's Sum figure is covered in it.  This monster snapping turtle produced in collaboration with Planet Asia is living out his tale of revenge to the fullest, having gone so far as to snatch the head of the redneck that caused his untimely demise.  I'm thinking he decorates his lair with it somehow, maybe turning it into a nice light fixture for the bathroom.

    Only two of these blood soaked customs were created by the man himself, and if you want to own one you've got to enter the lottery, which just so happens to end today.  Here's what you have to do:

To enter lottery, please send the following to:   bob@plaseebo.net

1.  Name

2.  Shipping Address

3.  Country

4.  Telephone Number

5.  PayPal Email Address

6.  Instagram / Facebook ID

    If you are selected each figure will be $375 plus shipping.  

LaMorrttt More Dead Than Death Itself Edition from Naomi Knaff

   Black coffee.  Black metal. Black t-shirts.  I have no use for the first one, but the other two are delightful.  Now you can add LaMorrttt to that list as he has shed all color and become the epitome of darkness.  Gaze into the void and allow yourself to be swallowed by the abyss!!!  Or you could just put him on your shelf and admire him from a good safe distance.  I'd say ten feet is probably a nice start to not be drawn into oblivion, but there's really no trusted authority that I know of with any published literature on the subject.  You should consult your local library to be sure.

  Naomi Knaff's vinyl creation was brought to life by Planet X and is only available via www.naomiknaff.com for $70 each.

   

First Edition Sum Lottery from Plaseebo x Planet X

    Living in New Jersey for as long as I have I am shocked that I've never run across a creature like this.  There are a handful of superfund sights near where I live whose chemical makeup could easily transform an other wise mild mannered turtle into a garbage infused killing machine.  And speaking of garbage and where I live, my home owner's association went to the trouble of creating and hanging flyers telling people to not leave broken televisions at our trash collection site.  The very next day there were five of them lined up where the bulk trash goes.  They weren't flat screens either, they were those ridiculously heavy behemoths that came before them.  I'd like to think they all belonged to one person who had been hoarding them and was so incensed at being told he wasn't allowed to throw them out that he did so just cause.  It's the most punk rock thing I've seen since that dude peed in the Wal Mart parking lot last week, blissfully ignoring the fact that there were ample bathrooms available for him to use inside.  Sometimes you just gotta be yourself no matter what.

    A few weeks ago I had the privilege of seeing this figure in person and it was everything I had hoped it would be.  It's big, it's loaded with LED lights, and the sculpt by its creator Plaseebo is insane.  So many little details really bring this thing to life, details which you can see in person by entering the lottery to own this first edition.  If you want the shot at it just follow these directions (by the way, you only have until June 20th at11:59 Hong Kong time to enter):

To enter lottery, please send the followings to info@planetx.asia :

1.  Name

2.  Shipping Address 

3.  Country

4.  Telephone Number

5.  Paypal Email Address

6.  Instagram / Facebook ID

Lottery winners will receive notification emails by June 22, 2018. Winners are reminded to settle payment accordingly before deadline as stated in notification emails. Item will be shipped in Aug, 2018. 

Plaseebo x Planet X for Five Points Fest

     It's that time of year where turtles are trying to cross the road in order to meet what smells like the loves of their lives.  If you happen to see a turtle on the road who needs a bit of assistance on his way to make babies you should always put them on the side they are trying to reach.  Those little dudes do not quit and if you put them back where they came from they will turn around, shoot you the bird, and then end up in the same predicament.  I respect how headstrong they are when it comes to love, but they really could channel some of that into those little legs and get there quicker.  And if you don't help them they might turn into horrible trash monsters and kill you in your sleep.  Just sayin.

    America, it is almost time to embrace the behemoth that is SUM.  Plaseebo and Planet X are bringing these monsters to our shores via their booth at this year's Five Points Fest in Brooklyn.   These will all be one of a kind painted by the man himself and available only at booth #328.  After the show there will be a larger release sometime in July, but this will be the first chance for many of us to own one of these pissed off turtles.  Each one features led color changing lights and loads of revenge in their eyes.  I'm excited to see one of these things in person.

Citron Edition La Morrttt from Naomi Knaff x Planet X

   This figure is the closest thing to sunshine I've seen in a while because it has rained all week in New Jersey.  There's been mildly inconvenient rain, flood-inducing down pours, and enough thunder and lightning to scare my cats off of their eating schedule.  The best part is when it scares them into a fear induced stampede that will start no matter where they happen to be sitting at the time.  Have you ever had a cat use your chest as a starting block when they attempt to run and hide from thunder?  Good thing I have a high pain tolerance and enough respect for others to not take my shirt off in public.  No need to thank me, it's what heroes do.

    Naomi Knaff is offering up the promise of dryer and sunnier days to come via her La Morrttt figure from Planet X.  For $80 it's almost guaranteed to push your seasonal depression out the door for good.  Snag one tomorrow, Sunday May 20th, at 5pm eastern time exclusively through www.naomiknaff.com.

 
    

Sum from Plaseebo x Planet X

   

    When I think of what I would want a vinyl toy from Plaseebo to look like I couldn't have imagined anything better than this.  Normally I would have made up my own story about the monster, but being that the man himself already has a well thought out history for his creation, I will happily defer to him to tell the tale:

    Driving home from the local red neck bar one moon lit summer night, Roy swerves his pick up toward a  dark shape that is slowly moving along side the road. A loud CRACK shatters the darkness as the front tire breaks the giant snapping turtles' shell in two, right down the center. The great snapper rolls down the embankment into the stream and Roy's laughing fades as the truck turns to cross the bridge to his shabby farm house across the stream.

    The turtle, floating belly up is carried downstream to the other side and is swept into a quiet eddy where he sinks watching the moon fade from yellow to blood red through the darkening water.
This small pool cut into the bank of the stream was at the back Roy's property and he used it as his personal dump site. The water caught in this hole became a terrible toxic soup of motor oil, fertilizer, broken toys, bones and entrails of many slaughtered animals, rusty tools and who knows what else.
Over the next few months, a strange transformation took place in this evil chowder as it baked in the summer heat. A creature of revenge, born of cruelty and neglect slid its way out of the sickening mess one dark September night. 

   Roy's body was never found, nor could anyone explain the slime trail from the bedroom through the field behind the house.

     Over the years that followed, other neglectful farmers vanished on moonless nights and folks reported vague sightings of a creature that seamed to be cobbled together from a collection of garbage, an old doll, bone, rotted skin, and broken tools, with a large snapping turtle skull for a head. They call him "SUM".


    Insane, right?  Not that a giant snapping turtle whose body has infused with the contents of a junkyard wouldn't have a story more interesting than your cousin's reminiscing about that touchdown pass that got his team to states. It was a good throw, but c'mon dude, it was 20 years ago.

    This monstrosity debuted at a show in Japan last week and will hopefully make it's ways to other shores very soon.  Usually if I post about something I have sale information for you, but this creature is forcing me to break all of my rules.  Produced by Planet X, with what I would imagine will be tons of variations to come.

Twinclops Debut Lottery Sale From Planet X

 

 If a cyclops has two heads does that mean he can see in stereo?  Does he, or they, have depth perception or the ability to see in 3D?  Will their separate brains converge for the sole purpose of being able to view that bad art that was popular in the '90's that you had to squint to see and it was always a sailboat?  See, that's why Ray Harryhausen made his cyclops with only one head so he didn't spend sleepless nights worrying about these things.

    Planet X have been teasing us for what seems like forever with this beast and the time has finally come for you to own one.  If you're lucky that is, cause you have to enter and win a lottery just for the chance to buy this beautiful sofubi creature.  Here's how you do it:

To enter lottery, please send the following information to info@planetx.asia from NOW till Aug 14, 2016 (24:00 HKT)

1. Name
2. Shipping Address
3. Country
4. Phone Number
5. PayPal Account
6. Instagram / Facebook ID