Porcelain Temper Tot from Ron English x K. Olin Tribu

   Holy crap this baby is swole!!  I've been telling you for year that beef hormones are doing some freaky things to us and this is proof positive.  Dude is gonna go to preschool and run it like a prison yard.  He'll probably be taking the teacher's lunch money, make her drive him to McDonald's, and buy himself four Happy Meals.  This kid is my hero.

   This scary baby was created by Ron English and cast in porcelain by K. Olin Tribu in a limited edition of only 50 pieces.  Each one comes in a wooden box with a certificate signed by Ron.  The shame you will feel with how puny your muscles are is a bonus.

    Get yours at www.kolintribu.com

Insanely Large Ron English Figures Available Now from Strange Cat Toys

    There's a very large house not far from where I live that has an equally large wall surrounding it, which obstructs your view of the main structure.  The person that owns it has ensured you have plenty to look at when you drive past, as he has gathered every fiberglass creation he could find and strewn them about his property.  There are elephants, and giraffes, and dinosaurs peaking over the wall, while the outside has dragons, Gundam robots, and even Jesus and the Virgin Mary.  The place looks like a temple built to celebrate someone's deep mental instability and I love it.  That's the kind of crap I would pull if I had a lot of money.  My home owner's association would probably get butthurt about it, which will distract them from the fact that I bought the townhouse next door and turned it into a petting zoo.  They're so dumb!

   If you happen to have a spare $15,000 laying around then Strange Cat Toys has a deal for you.  Some of Ron English's most recognizable creations have gone huge, like in the realm of 4 to even 7 feet tall huge.  They ain't cheap as I mentioned before, but they're way more fun than paying back your student loans or trying to erase credit card debt.  Check out the selection at https://strangecattoys.com and just remember that one day you'll be dead and thus out of reach from collection agencies.

Amazonian Poultry Rex from Ron English X Toy Art Gallery

 

    Man they are reaching with these Jurassic Park sequels.  I'm guessing this is how the story would go:  scientists tried to breed a new, more docile form of dinosaur that visitors to the park could interact with and possibly even raise as pets.  They crossed Dino DNA with that of the common chicken in an effort to balance out their desire to kill. Needless to say, as they always do with these damn tourist attractions, things go horribly wrong.  This time the hero of the film is a descendent of Colonel Sanders who then opens a killer fried chicken joint with Flintstones size portions.  With ideas like this how in the hell am I still working a day job?

    The wings on Ron English's Poultry Rex aren't gonna fill you up, but those drumsticks look meaty as all get out.  Toy Art Gallery is releasing the first ever painted version of this prehistoric fowl on Friday, July 8th at noon pacific time on www.toyartgallery.com.  He stands 8 inches tall and most likely does not taste as delicious as it may look.  

Uncle Scam from Ron English x Kidrobot

    By the look of his waistline, it seems that the majority of my tax dollars have gone directly into the government's cheeseburger fund.  Leave it to Ron English to perfectly capture how most Americans must feel this time every year, as we send in those dreaded forms to the IRS.  I know taxes are a must, but they could make it hurt a little less.  Maybe have a fun animal mascot, or have that party patrol from Publisher's Clearing House deliver our refund checks.

    Kidrobot wants to ease your pain this April 15th by releasing the very timely Uncle Scam figure, which heavily resembles my governor in New Jersey Chris Christie.  I can just picture this as his campaign poster if he actually had a chance at winning the nomination, which the rest of the US has no idea how lucky they are that would never happen.  Unless Trump wins the nomination and announces him as his running mate, which would undoubtedly be the coming of the antichrist and the end of days for mankind.  Kinda makes George Orwell's visions look like Dr. Seuss in comparison.  But fear not, because we have you covered on that front as well with this black and white version:

    Is it a chase piece?  Is it a Kidrobot.com exclusive?  I don't know, but either way it's horrifying.  This pieces was brought to reality by the folks at Bigshot Toyworks.    

    

MC Supersized Platinum from Ron English x K. Olin Tribu

    Oh snap, look at that big old hamburger king!  He took so much money from you in exchange for hid diseased meat that he's gone and covered himself in platinum!  See, I never understand why people trust clowns.  When has a clown ever tried to get you to do anything and the results were good?  John Wayne Gacy was a clown and we know how all that turned out, so I guess a certain fast food clown's crimes against humanity aren't that extreme.  He at least doesn't kill you right away.

   I can't act like I don't appreciate fast food every once in a while.  Usually that appreciation ends the moment I realize what a terrible mistake I've made, but what can you do.  Is there a more grandiose ode to the king of instant gratification than this MC Supersized by Ron English?  Certainly not, especially when it's cast in porcelain by K. Olin Tribu and decked out in platinum.  He's available right now to lend your house some fanciness while simultaneously making a cultural statement.  Kind of like the way I saw myself in my teenage years.  Minus the fancy part, cause my jeans all had holes.  

McSupersize Gold from Ron English x K. Olin Tribu On Sale Now!

    I'm embarrassed to say I have not only seen my first Drake video, but heard my first Drake song.  It's nowhere near my fault though, cause it was on the morning news cause they were making fun of his dance moves.  He does kinda look like someone going through physical therapy after a bad car accident, which is fitting cause the song made me want to drive into a tree.  Maybe his mom didn't believe in vaccines and he's got the early stages of polio setting in.  Serves him right for putting such awful noise out into the world.  

    I bring Drake up because he probably has a lot of money, thus making him a "baller".  But you don't need to sing bad songs to let people know your status, you can just get one of these sweet porcelain figures from Ron English x K. Olin Tribu.  People will walk into your house, spot that amazing gold finish, and know from the get go that you are not to be trifled with.  They might also ask you for a loan, so just be prepared for that.  

   These are limited to 15 pieces and on sale right now via http://www.artandtoys.com/fr/.   

Kidrobot's Pop Up Shop for New York Comic Con

    Last year Kidrobot was nowhere to be seen at New York Comic Con and I missed them.  I missed them so much that I sat where their booth had previously been and quietly mourned their absence.  This seemed to be awkward to the other people who were set up trying to hawk their wares, and security wasn't really the most understanding group of individuals I've met, especially as they were dragging me out from under the table with what my lawyer said was not actually an excessive amount of force.  The good news is I fired that idiot and Kidrobot is back with not just a booth, but a pop up shop, which sounds way more better.  

    What is sure to be the hit of the show and a guaranteed sell out are these Infected Dunnys from Scott Wilkowski.  Available in either grey or purple (50 of each color) these suckers are gonna be $60  a piece.  

    Of course that is just one of a plethora of offerings that will be available to con goers.  You'll also be able to buy tons of toys before they're released anywhere else.  Things like J*Ryu's 8 and 20 inch Dunnys, or Amanda Vissel's Ferals mini series.  

   They'll also have the new Simpson's figures from Ron English and my personal favorite, doubleparlour's debut 3 inch Dunny, which is a must have for me:

    What other surprises will they have in store?  You'll just have to wait and see when everything begins later this week.  You can find their pop-up shop as part of Clutter Magazine's booth #603

Ron English's Apocalypse Grin Dunny Coming Next Week From Kidrobot

    Living in New York must be nuts.  There's always people around, nothing ever seems quiet, and I don't know how anyone affords to buy food after paying their rent.  Seriously, how are all New Yorkers not holding telethons for people to feed them?  I can't even rent a closet in the city for what I pay for my town house.  One benefit of living in the city is you get to stumble upon amazing works of art just hanging out there on the side of a building. People that have insane gallery shows are just painting real estate like its no big deal.  The other day while Sharon and I were roaming around trying to get to Toy Tokyo we ran into a huge mural from Ron English.  While we didn't physically run into it even though we were dehydrated and sweating like some urban nomads in a foreign dessert, you would have thought we had never been anywhere before with our level of amazement.  Which, to divert slightly, we totally embraced our inner podunk Midwesterner when we went into a two-story Target in Brooklyn and were completely floored with the escalator for shopping carts.  Check out this jawn:  you're roaming around my on the first floor, getting all your essentials for domestic life when you realize there is a new Taylor Swift album you will die without, but alas, the electronics department is on the second floor.  Are you supposed to just abandon your cart full of Hot Pockets and tabloids and hope that someone won't pillage your future purchases?  Should you strap it on you back, channel your inner sherpa, and lug that 4 wheeled son of a gun up there?  Fear not, because carts have their own adjoining escalator which moves them effortlessly between floors.  I know, it's crazy right?  I wanted to take a video of it but I didn't want people to think I was adjusting beautifully despite my obvious mental deficiencies.  You get mistaken for simple once in your life and you never forget it.

     The point of all this was originally, I think anyway cause I can't be bothered to read all that again, is that I saw some crazy out of doors art from Ron English and we don't have that stuff where I live.  We have people that paint rude sayings on billboards, but that can hardly be considered art, especially when their vulgar diatribes are not grammatically correct.  You can bring some Ron English art INSIDE the house next week when Kidrobot releases this ballin Dunny.  There's the regular version, which is just a bigger rendition of his original 3 inch design, and there's that super clean white chase design at you're not gonna want your friends to get their dirty finger prints on.  Get one for yourself next Friday, September 4th, for $75 from www.kidrobot.com or wherever you like to buy your toys.
   

You Want Dunnys? Check Out All of These Available for Preorder Right Now

    My head is literally ready to explode with all of the amazing Dunnys that Kidrobot is coming out with this year.  If this is what the future of this company looks like then we are in for many years of toys I desperately need.  You've got a healthy mixture of well known vinyl artists, some that are completely new to the vinyl world, and fan favorite designs that made the jump from 3 inch figures to 8 inch.  Let's get started so you can see where your money is going this year.  

    Sket-One self-produced a pretty killer version of this Sketratcha Dunny some time back and now it's getting a proper vinyl release as a 3 inch figure.  There's gonna be a chase version as well, which I'm not gonna spoil for you in case you haven't seen it.  $14.99 will get you one.  

    I can't say enough good things about doubleparlour.  Admittedly, I was a bit late to their appreciation party, but I'm trying to make up for lost time.  I'm in love with everything they do and this Dunny is no exception.  This 3 inch toy is on my must have list and at only $14.99, I won't feel guilty about it either.  

    Ever wondered what a certain famous mouse looked like when he went home, removed his kid friendly exterior, and exposed what was really lurking underneath?  Yeah, me neither, but I have no problem believing that behind that smile lies a creature that feasts on equal parts cash and children's souls.  A balanced diet is important after all.  Ron English and his sinister friend are making the jump from the Apocalypse blind box series to a full 8 inch production figure.  For $74.99 you can have him stare at you as you plan your next trip to the happiest place on earth.

    And people think that no one listens to their pleas?  Well, when your demands aren't ridiculous, this can be the result.  Scott Tolleson's Lotus Dragon was next to impossible to get as part of the Evolved Dunny series, so thankfully its 8 inch counterpart will be much simpler to obtain.  All you need is $99.99 and a bit of patience and you could have this delivered to your door in the Fall.  Go ahead and add this to my must have list.   

    This one has a special place in my heart, because I was able to not only hold the prototype in my hand, but take a picture of it that circulated pretty quickly around the internet.  I felt like a proud father.  Not only did Junko Mizuno's design make the jump from 3 inch to 8 inch, but they added some elements to it as well.  The thing is stunning in person and I've been waiting patiently to be able to get one since I first saw it in February.  

       This is what I like to see.  Someone working their butt of painting figure after figure, honing their craft, and then getting rewarded with their own production toy.  It's happened before but I feel it's going to happen a lot more now that the stable of artists Kidrobot is pulling from is pretty much endless.  Maybe I'll get my own Dunny?  I gotta make a phone call.

     Wuzone seems inspired by everyone's favorite pathologically lying puppet, but put enough of a spin on it to make it feel fresh.  I know what you're thinking, you're thinking: "How will I possibly afford all this?"  For one, don't worry, just stop paying those annoying student loans.  Secondly, this dude is priced at only $59.99.  It's like a throwback price!!!

    Sweet mother of plastic what is this you have bestowed upon me?  J*RYU has just changed everything you thought a Dunny could be.  Not only is it not character driven, but the design, and sculpting, and the detail.  I think I just got the vapors.  And to top it all off it pretty much demands to be the centerpiece of your collection as it stands a whopping 20 inches high.  Forget buying a new shelf, you're gonna need an alter for this.  Now she ain't cheap at $449.99, but I can guarantee you it's worth every penny you have to steal.  

    Each one of these, and The 13 Dunny series from Brandt Peters that I've previously written about, are all available for preorder right now from your favorite designer toy stores.  No more sweating on release day, no more pounding the refresh key on your laptop, or frantically driving from store to store, or pacts with dark forces trying to secure the one's you need.  This is a glorious time to be a collector.  

Springtime Modzilla from Ron English x Toy Art Gallery

    Did you do your taxes yet?  I did, and boy could I have punched a baby afterwards.  I didn't get back what I thought I would and the accountant was all apologetic, then still charged me as much as she did last year when I was a baller.  How come I didn't get a sympathy discount?  They should charge on a sliding scale, not try to kick you while you're down.  She's lucky I didn't listen to N.W.A. on the ride over or things would have taken a more gangsta turn.  Just ask my wife, whenever she puts N.W.A. on in the car I am totally ready to get in a knife fight.

    If you did your taxes and are looking to invest in something, might I suggest toys?  They might not be good for your retirement, or building your kid's college fund, but they're more fun to look at than a stock portfolio.  Take this "Springtime" Modzilla from Ron English x Toy Art Gallery.  This mega lizard and his bunny friends are looking rather festive, like they're going on some really weird Easter Egg hunt.  Not that hunting for eggs can be but so strange, but if this dude were invited it's got to be an interesting time.  Pick one of these up when they go on sale today at noon pacific time from http://www.toyartgallery.com/.  Put it in your kid's Easter basket and scare the crap out of em.        

Two New Glow in the Dark Releases from Toy Art Gallery

    Does it ever amaze you when you look back in history at some of the stupid things we used to do?  For instance, having x-ray machines in shoe stores to measure the size of your feet, or filling our homes with asbestos insulation.  In Northern New Jersey there used to be a watch company that would use a special glow in the dark paint to enhance the numbers on the dials.  The female workers would continuously put the ends of their brushes in their mouths in an effort to sharpen the bristles into points. When they started becoming increasingly ill it was determined that the radium used to make the paint glow wasn't the best thing in the world to ingest.  

   Now I don't know what they use these days to create the coveted glow in the dark effect, but I can be pretty sure that it's not going to give you radiation poisoning.  But it does make you wonder what future generations will look back at and think was completely stupid that we do now.  Hmmmmmmm.

    No time to worry about such silly things though, cause there are toys to be had!  Like the giant sized Modzilla from Ron English, or the nearly as huge Totim from Tim Clarke.  Both will glow like a beacon of freedom on your darkest night and can be had starting today at noon pacific from Toy Art Gallery.  

Ron English Needs You To Help Him Make His Next Toy

    You know what I always say "you can never have too many skulls."  Seriously, go ahead and get yourself a nice skull and tell me you don't instantly want another.  It's like eating one potato chip, you can't do it.  Of course I'm only talking about the plastic versions, not the ones that developed inside your face meat.  I have a lot of weird stuff in the house, but I don't think I could ever own an actual human skull.  I love to go to look at them in museums, but I'm worried about bringing bad juju into my life if I had one just chillin on our dvd player.  I'm not even sure how to go about acquiring one.  Duh, I could go on the internet, but how would I know which one was right for me?  Do they come with biographical information about the person?  Do they tell you how they came to own it in the first place?  Will some family member want joint custody and insist on taking it out for ice cream every other weekend?  I'm just not ready for that sort of responsibility.

   I'm gonna stick with faux human skulls I think, like this one from Ron English.  Like many people, this skull has fame and fortune in it's eyes, so much so that it warped the actual bone structure.  This isn't some crappy prop you can buy at the Halloween store, this is a beautiful work of vinyl art that will impress your guests and brighten your decor.  But you can't have one of these beauties if you don't back the Kickstarter campaign that's happening now.  You can get everything from a pack of stickers, to one of these skulls in the colors you see above, to having lunch with the man himself.  Something tells me he won't be taking you to McDonald's.  So follow this link, and help him make this skull a reality.  

More NYCC Exclusives from Clutter Magazine

    New York Comic Con just opened it's doors, and while I won't be there until tomorrow, there is plenty to see and do right this instant.  Clutter Magazine sent me an email filled with all kinds of nutty stuff you're gonna want so let's get to it shall we.

   Fact:  Bears have skulls the same shape as human beings do.  It's on the internet, so it must be true.  Luke Chueh only made 15 of these Dissected Bear Heads in Kenner prototype blue, with 5 being released each day via an 11am lottery system.  The lottery last 15 minutes, after which time the winners will be announced and then they get to buy this dude.  No lottery today, only on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday, so you have time to plan accordingly.  

    Tim Clarke is a legend.  The day he followed me on Instagram I almost pooped my britches.  This dude not only created Boglins and Sectaurs, but he worked on The Dark Crystal with Jim Henson.  We're talking about things that defined people's childhoods.  He's got a new toy series out called Totims and he will have a bunch of those and those prints you see above.  He'll be hanging around Saturday starting at noon and if you're gonna shake anyone's hand during the show, his would be a good one.  Maybe some of the magic will rub off.  

    Ron English is obviously not as big a fan of breakfast cereal as I am.  And I love Cap'n Crunch, even though it shreds the rook of your mouth like you were chewing razor blades.  This is the latest edition of his obese faux pirate, and it will be released Saturday at 1pm and Ron will be there to sign em and tell you the dangers of high fructose corn syrup.  

    I've been in a few fights in my day.  Most of those involved dust ups in my high school cafeteria and certainly never with anyone that looked like this.  Who would fight this guy?  I don't care how bad you think you are, when you see a guy dressed like this and with such an unpleasant look on his face, you need to move along.  Restore made this glow in the dark Neo Japan in such uber limited quantities (10) that he will be sold through a lottery system on Saturday at 2pm with the drawing taking place 15 minutes later.  

    Saturday is gonna be busy for whoever is manning booth # 504, cause at 3pm Jon-Paul Kaiser and UME Toys will be present to release their Buford Mandrake figure.  He comes with two masks, though which one is more disturbing is open to debate.  Meet those fine English gents and pick up this collaboration piece that is sure to be a hit, cause I said so.

    Ok, this is pretty killer.  We've never seen Jeff Lamm's Greasebat figure so...so...cuddly.  Lana Crooks hand made five of these stunning plush toys and I hope there is one left just so I can see it in person.  

    The Flyers lost last night and I'm kinda bummed about that, but they did play pretty well.  And I love the orange and black no matter what and this lizard bro makes me thankful that there's another game tonight with which they can redeem themselves.  Chris Ryniak's Snybora has long been a favorite of mine and this paint job from Squibbles Ink and Kirby Kerr makes it even closer to my heart.  Only 25 folks can own one though, so you better be quick if you wanna play with him on the ride home.  

    Visit the Clutter folks at booth #504 for all that you see and more.  That kinda sounded like something a game show announcer would say.  I need some sleep.