Splurrt Tenth Anniversary Golden Kid from Lulubell Toys

 

     Ten years is a pretty good run for anything these days, though not when it comes to my t-shirts.  Years ago when I was going to concerts all the time I used to by the shirts with the tour dates on them and I have been surprised more than once by how long they've lasted.  My oldest two are from when I was in high school: R.E.M. in 1995 and Smashing Pumpkins in 1996, and even though I don't wear those anymore I can't bring myself to get rid of them.  My wife is thankful I'm not nearly as sentimental about my underwear.  

   Splurrt's Cadaver Kid has hit the literally ripe old age of ten and to celebrate this undead plastic corpse is being released in a super neat gold vinyl from Lulubell Toys.  Featuring a smile only a coroner could love, this five and a half inch tall dreamboat can be yours this Saturday at 9am pacific time for just $55 plus shipping.  Fish one out of the river at www.lulubelltoys.com.

It's Splurrt Saturday at Lulubell Toys

    Now that all of the Columbus statues are coming down and we will hopefully be replacing his undeserved holiday with one that is actually based on merit, I've been thinking about what other holidays we could start celebrating.  Obviously, all would be days in which work was closed but we still get paid, cause nothing makes me feel like a boss than staying home AND making money.  First, I'd like Skee Ball Day where we celebrate what is truly the best sport in America that isn't professional wrestling.  Next is Professional Wrestling Day, because duh.  Those two should really be part of a four day weekend.  My favorite might be Flog the Moron, where through a voting process we take the person that has made the most ignorant Facebook post of the year and beat them on national television.  I'm really proud of that one. 

    Lulubell Toys has been hosting Splurrt Saturdays for some time and it may be the most perfect holiday of all.  The only requirements of celebrating are buying yourself some killer monster toys, which I find myself prepared to do every day of the year.  As always there will be multiple figures available that will add a special dose of weird to your collection.  It all goes down this Saturday, June 27th at 9am pacific time only from www.lulubelltoys.com.

Emerald Green Sofubi Borealis Kid and More from Splurrt x Lulubell Toys

     Not far from where I live there was a very specific collector who had decorated his front lawn with the objects of his affection. He was in love with glass insulators from power lines, which you've probably passed by in an antique store without paying much attention to. This man was so into them that he built utility pole- like structures around his property to display the thousands of them that he owned. Ranging from completely clear to a rich Pine Barrens green, they stood as a unique display that invited people to pull their cars over and gaze at the depths that the love for collecting can take us. Sadly he passed away and I believe the house was sold to someone who didn't appreciate them the way he did.  They were subsequently removed, leaving the drive down that particular stretch of road way a lot less interesting.

    The Insulator House is the first thing that came to mind when I saw Splurrt's latest update to his popular Cadaver Kid figure. Featuring a new head and arms, the Borealis Kid's melon and clear green vinyl are reminiscent of those relics of our country's infrastructure. Of course, when you have a color this amazing you don't limit its use to just one figure, so he also made a set of his Dokuro Pocket Monsters available in the same hue. These will be exclusively available from Lulubell Toys this Saturday, March 7th, at 9am pacific time. Each is limited to just 1 per household, so you will unfortunately have to find another way to decorate your lawn.

https://lulubelltoys.com

"Rotten Lime" Sofubi Collection from Splurrt x Lulubell Toys

    My heart is racing as I type this, and it's not just because my blood pressure and cholesterol have been a little out of whack.  It's my love for beautifully marbled sofubi.  And as much as I adore the plastic, I love equally the work of Splurrt, especially when it comes to that little dude Usir you see above.  Lulubell Toys will be making available quite a few pieces from Splurrt in this Rotten Lime colorway this Saturday and I have my eye on that little goat.  He even comes with an alternate head, which you can never really have to many of especially when your sinuses lose all sense of control.  That set will run you $65, and if you scroll down further I'll price out each one of these pieces for you so you can prepare your wallet for the damage you're about to inflict on it this Saturday, March 9th, at 9 am pacific time.  All of these are exclusive to www.lulubelltoys.com.  

Cadaver Kid: $65

Met Death Golem: $165

Cinema Monster: $140

Holographic Tauro from Splurrt x Lulubell Toys

     I don't get the appeal of mazes.  Why is it that ever fall people are so damn excited to pay to get lost in a corn field for hours?  I love to take a walk in the woods every now and then but that's more of an adventure.  Who knows what abandoned structures or wildlife or dead bodies you may come across.  But a corn maze is just a bunch of dried up stalks cut in a pattern meant to confuse you and cause arguments with your significant other who will trash your navigational skills and whose father would have never given you permission to marry his daughter if he had even the hint of your lack of leadership abilities under duress.  And there's not even a minotaur at the end that you have to battle, just some kid making minimum wage that directs you back to the parking lot.  They should have a counselor there to repair all of the emotional damage this "fun" tradition inflicts on relationships.  

    I don't know where you would go to hire a minotaur for a corn maze, but if you really cared about your guests you would go the extra mile and find out.  Can you imagine how great that would be?  Especially for the first people to go through it, imagining that the monster at the end is just some guy from the haunted hayride in a suit, when in fact it is a living, stinking, bull monster who likes to crack skulls for fun.  I can and I am delighted.  This monstrosity from Splurrt would be the perfect anchor to any maze, though he'd need to be a tad bit bigger to inspire any real fear.  At ten inches tall he is an impressive toy though and you can add one to your collection this Friday (August 10th) when he goes on sale from Lulubell Toys.  Extremely limited and featuring crazy holographic paint, and retailing for $135, get one when they go on sale at noon pacific time from https://www.lulubelltoys.com.

Metallic Devil Sofubi Sets and Blank Blue Kronos Release from Splurrt

    American pride has certainly taken a hit in recent years with the shenanigans that are going on in our government, but this metallic paint job from Splurrt is making me feel a little patriotic.  I got an urge to fire up the grill, light some seriously dangerous fire works, and put on a backyard wrestling match for the neighbors.  Do you see how two out of three of those things involved the word "fire"?   As Americans we've really embraced that discovery from our cave men ancestors and held on to it like the safety bar of a haphazardly constructed carnival ride.   Oh, and the third thing will involve fire as well when we have a no holds bared flaming table ladder match for the Southern New Jersey Bad Ideas Championship.  I know what my fans want.  

    Splurrt is one of the reigning kings of the American sofubi scene and his Usir figure is one of my favorite designs of all time.  He paired that little buddy up with his Demon figure for a special two pack that will have people scrambling on their internet machines.  Releasing this Saturday at noon eastern time, these sets, along with a special blue blank of his magnificently huge Kronos figure, will be available exclusively through http://splurrt.bigcartel.com.

The First Ever Cinegantus from Justin Ishmael x Splurrt x Lulubell Toys

    Whenever you are presented with the opportunity to sever the head off of one mythical creature and place it on the body of another you should always do it.  Of course you would want to have both mythical creatures fill out the proper paper work to absolve you of any liability should the whole thing go terribly wrong in a Frankenstein sort of way, but that's stuff any mad scientist should already have been told by their lawyers.  In a world run by scandal and litigation you have to protect yourself from the inevitable get rich quick schemes and accusations of malfeasance that can plague even the most well-intentioned experiment.  A good insurance policy never hurts either and can pay for itself the first time you use it.

    Splurrt's Harryhausen-esque Cinema Monster has had his noggin replaced with that of Justin Ishmael's Galligantus to create Dun Dun Duuuuuuuuuuuuuunnn......Cinegantus!  No one is safe when people are out there making super monsters, but safety is a relative thing anyway like I told the person who tripped on the walkway in front of my house.  I'm not sure if he understood me because his replies were muffled by his detached teeth and blood, but I think he saw the folly in his reasoning by the time he passed out and I drug him next door to the neighbor's sidewalk.  

    Lulubell Toys will be releasing what I'm told is a really really limited amount of these on Saturday, January 27th at 10am pacific time.  They are $200 each and sold blind and you can only buy one so don't get all greedy about it.  They will be available from www.lulubelltoys.com.


    

The Debut of CK Beta from Splurrt

    Splurrt's Cadaver Kid figure has upgraded his operating system, gotten a total body makeover, and is primed for military applications.  Use him to vanquish your enemies!  Have him negotiate that promotion you know you deserve!  Eliminate student loan payments by eliminating the people that collect them!  There's nothing that can stop him (except the prolonged exposure to liquids in which case the user bears all responsibility for any damage that may occur).

    This barrel chested hunk of plastic is set to debut this Saturday, January 13th, in both camo and unpainted versions.  There will also be other figures and even hats and who knows what else available to please your need to collect.  The shindig goes down at 1pm eastern time only at http://www.splurrt.com. 

Marbled Vinyl Tauro from Splurrt x Lulubell Toy Bodega

     I've been thinking about building a labyrinth as one of those mid life crisis type things.  Originally I wanted to build a Viking ship on my lawn and it would attract the media and maybe garner me some mild internet celebrity (until some starlet's phone with saucy pictures gets hacked).  I thought it could be pretty inspirational as well as being a serious code violation.  But then I was thinking that no one has built a good labyrinth in ages.  Corn mazes in no way count because anyone can just walk through the damn corn to escape.  And there's nothing epic waiting for you if you make your way out of one, other than a hay ride and the in ability to re-wear your itchy clothes before washing them.  That is the opposite of feeling like you achieved something great.

    Every great labyrinth needs a great monster and Tauro fits the bill perfectly.  Though he may be only 10 inches of sweet plastic he does aspire to greatness and I'd be willing to hire him once construction is completed.  This mighty beast from Splurrt will be available this Saturday, September 9, at noon pacific time for $135 plus shipping.  He is a mixture of brown, white, and gold glitter vinyl and is exclusive to Lulubell Toys.  Snag one at https://www.lulubelltoys.com.

Blind Bag Cadaver Balls from Splurrt x Toy Art Gallery

   We've all been there: that awkward moment when you're a kid and you find a good cadaver to play with but your parents get all freaked out about germs and the police and whatnot.  But you've already named your cadaver Bob and you share all your best secrets and you made plans to Weekend at Bernies him to show and tell.  Don't be a buzzkill, mom!

    Cadaver Balls from Splurrt and Toy Art Gallery are made of sofubi, so unlike your friend Bob they won't leave questionable fluids on your carpets or introduce your home to corpse flies.  And Cadaver Balls come with four interchangeable heads, which is three more than Bob ever had (and four more than he had after our fishing trip and that ravenous catfish).

     These are sold blind bagged so you can't pick your color, but you can buy up to 3 of them when they go on sale later today at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.

Clutter Magazine Exclusives for Five Points Festival

   Having a severed head laying around the house is just asking for trouble.  Just ask anyone who has and they're sure to tell you the cons outweigh the pros.  Shockingly I have found an exception to that rule courtesy of Luke Chueh and Clutter Magazine.  Exclusive to this weekend's Five Points Festival,  the Black and Bone edition is limited to 50 pieces and comes with a nice pool of blood display stand all for only $100.  It's a bear, it's a skull, it's a crime scene and it speaks to me.  Not literally like voices in my head or anything, I meant aesthetically.  The pills take care of the voices.

   

    I think I found the culprit behind the whole severed head business.  Everything Splurrt makes looks like it has bad intentions and the Masterworks Cadaver Kid is no exception to that rule.  This behemoth is cast in a milk-white vinyl thats filled with purple glitter, limited to only 12 pieces in the entire world, and will sell for $165 each.  These things will go quick so make sure you have fresh laces in your Air Jordans if you want one.  

    Things are starting to get a little cuter as we go down the list.  This is Luna from The Bots and Urban Vinyl Daily and she is limited to just 50 pieces in this pink colorway and can be your forever companion for $60.  

    And don't forget about the amazing Dunnys from Gary Ham and Kidrobot.  The yellow one is only for VIP ticket holders while the other two will be available for everyone for $14.99 each.  

All of this will be at booth #234 for your shopping pleasure.

New Apparel from Splurrt x BogxSquad

    I used to work at a clothing store and the dangerous thing about it was that over time the t-shirts would start looking better and better to me.  Stuff I would normally never buy would after a month or so wear me down especially when I thought about how much of a discount I was getting on them.  The moral of the story is try and work somewhere that you have zero interest in the product or risk having a basement full of crap that you can't even remember liking.  People at the sewage treatment plant don't have this problem.

    Now these are the type of shirts I would wear until the graphic was barely hanging on.  Splurrt and BogxSquad have collaborated on a limited release of two shirts and a trucker hat featuring his menacing Cinema Monster.  Each one is a limited edition of 30 and can be obtained from http://bogsquad.bigcartel.com.  

    You can also pick up a BogxSquad's latest "Kaiju Space Death" tee, which sounds like a really awesome Japanese death metal David Bowie cover band.  I wish that were a real thing.

Mixed Parts Madness from Splurrt X Lulubell Toy Bodega

    SAAAAAAAATUUUUUUUUUURDDAAAAAAAAAYYY!!!!!  Did you read that in your head like I was about to announce a monster truck rally, because if you did you are awesome and we are friends.  I got way too pumped listening to a song from the new Darkthrone album and now I'm just trying to type out all these rage feelings I've got and turn them into something informative for you.  Did you know that the dude from Darkthrone accidentally got himself elected to his town's council in Norway after he posted a picture of himself with his cat and said "don't vote for me?"  I wish he was eligible to be our president instead of those two other clowns.

Change I can believe in.

   Splurrt is dropping some more Cadaver Kids and Mecha Cadaver Kids through Lulubell Toy Bodega on Saturday and this time they're all mixed up.  I'm usually not a huge mixed parts fan but the colors he chose are so different on these that I dig em.  They will be $50 and $55 respectively and will go on sale promptly at noon pacific time (September 17th) only from www.lulubelltoys.com.  These will be gone in the blink of an eye so forget whatever else you were planning on doing and camp your behind in front of a computer ready to pull the trigger.  

New Stuff From Splurrt Available Today from Lulubell Toy Bodega

    It will take me longer to think of something witty to say about these dudes than it will for them to sell out when they get posted later today.  Splurrt's work, deservingly so, is highly sought after and it's not going to change with the release of Serpent Sata and Puppoo.  I would watch a buddy comedy staring these dudes and this would be the premise: Serpent Sata is a hard nosed cop whose partners always seem to end up dead, while Puppoo is just a rookie turd who has more heart than brains.  Together they are trying to bring order back to a once peaceful Chinatown that finds itself riddled with organized crime.  Then hilarity would ensue in some fashion.  I really see The Rock and Kevin Hart taking this project to new heights.

    Today at non pacific time these will go up only at www.lulubelltoys.com, so schedule your work breaks accordingly.   

Silver Back Broken Bones from Splurrt X Toy Art Gallery

    This dude probably has some stories to tell.  You don't lose your lower half without there being a story behind it.  And the fact that he's a skeleton probably would need some explaining too.  Is it kosher to go around asking deformed skeleton people what go them in that position?  I don't want to hurt any feelings.

    Splurrt's toys are harder to get than a supermodel's phone number, but Toy Art Gallery is giving you a shot at this dude on Wednesday, June 29th at noon pacific time.  It's the first time they've ever done a painted run of these and they won't last long.  Get em at www.toyartgallery.com.

New Splurrt Madness from Lulubell Toy Bodega

    Oh my goodness, I'm so happy that I'm off this Saturday so I have a chance at one of these.  I'm hardcore eyeballing those Cadaver Kids with the Usir heads.  Those vinyl colors are giving me the teenage feelings, too (love you Neko Case).

    Splurrt and Lulubell Toy Bodega have teamed up to bring you another huge release on Saturday, June 4th at noon pacific time.  Gaze upon the items you could very well own, but leave me one of those Usirs cause as the otter says:

    You're only allowed one of each color of each figure, so you can get the complete set that you see pictured if you so choose.  

Awesome Toy Exclusive Cinema Monster from Splurrt

    Not too long ago my wife and I were doing some Sunday antiquing at a particularly fruitful spot when we stumbled upon the mother of all Ray Harryhausen collections.  Dude had acquired it after the original owner passed away and there was almost nothing this guy didn't have.  Out of everything I really wanted an original signed Clash of the Titans poster.  It was a thing of beauty but I couldn't bring myself to pay what was being asked.  Now that I'm telling this story I realize it's kind of boring.  Oh well.

    Splurrt is unleashing his latest Cinema Monster through the folks at Awesome Toy.  Here's how you get one, per their Instagram page:

Email entry only
Price is USD175Each+Shipping.  

If you are interested please email the following info to 

sales.awesometoy@gmail.com



1. Email Title: CINEMA MONSTER


2. Your Full Name


3. Your Shipping Address / Phone Number


4. Your Paypal Address


5. Your instagram or facebook account (optional)



We will select winners in next few days. Only winner will receive our reply.

This is a custom hand painted art toy so each piece is different, the one you have will not exactly like the product sample. Shipping scheduled in next 2-3 weeks.


Marbled Cadaver Kids and Mecha Brain Cadaver Kids from Splurrt x Lulubell Toys

    Look at those swirley butts!!!  I don't even have to see the rest of their little bodies to know that I want these toys.  I guess it helps that I already know what they look like, so that does take some of the risk out of it and allows me to be way more confident in my assertion.  And you already know I get those special feelings just thinking about marbled vinyl, which is like the premium roast beef of plastics.

    Grody Shogun has bestowed his marbling wizardry on these Cadaver Kids and Mech Brain Cadaver Kids from Splurrt and they will be made exclusively through Lulubell Toys on Saturday, March 26.  They will be $50 and $55 respectively and you can buy up to three of each type.  They drop at noon pacific time at http://www.lulubelltoys.com. 

Cinema Monster V Coming Wednesday from Splurrt

   Oh man, True Detective gave me ALL the feels last night.  What a great, yet heartbreaking, season finale.  You know I'm not gonna spoil it for you, cause I'm no jerk, but after watching it I am totally comfortable is saying that this season was better than the first.  I loved the first season, except for the ending which I thought was a disservice to what they built in previous episodes.  But this season really felt like it worked itself towards an inevitable end.  The characters were digging a tunnel from their own mental prison cells and instead of daylight they only found themselves emerging in the very spot they were trying to escape.  We are living in the greatest age television has ever known.

    Japanese vinyl gives me all the feels, but in a totally different way that is totally not kosher for me to share with you.  Just look at the beautiful black glitter that makes up Splurrt's Cinema Monster V.  Some people get weepy when they here the national anthem, or witness the birth of a child.  For me, it's great story telling on TV and plastic monsters that gets me all misty.  You can cry tears of joy all over one of these for yourself cause they go on sale this Wednesday, August 12 at 10pm eastern time only from http://www.splurrt.com.  And as a bonus you get a sweet header card done by Johan from Deathcattoys.  Now, since you have a little time to wait before the sale, go watch True Detective.  Or go to work if that's more your thing.  Or whatever, I'm not the boss of you.

Cinema Monster Alpha from Splurrt to Debut This Saturday

    You're stranded at sea, floating at the will of the ocean's current in your life boat.  Starvation has set in as you and your crew have eaten the last of your rations, and the constant exposure to the sun has pushed you to the brink of madness.  But then, just when it seems that all hope is lost, you spot land.  The glorious site of sand and palm trees reinvigorates your will to live, and you use what little strength you have left to guide your craft to shore.  The feeling of land beneath your feet is better than anything you could ever remember, and your euphoria guides you through the dense vegetation.  There you feast on tropical fruits, filling your shrunken belly to the point of sickness.  And then you hear it.  The most dreadful cry rings out from a creature you couldn't even imagine in your wildest dreams.  The comforting earth begins to shake, animals scatter towards safety, and trees are crushed as whatever this thing is comes closer and closer to you and the other survivors.  Your salvation is now your doom.

   I loooooooooove this new Cinema Monster figure from Splurrt.  He looks ripped from the stop motion world of Ray Harryhausen and ready to feast on some unsuspecting humans.  If you want to welcome this beast into your life you'll get the chance tomorrow at noon eastern time when these go up for sale.  No lottery involved in this one, just the luck of your computer and a good internet connection.  Oh, and you'll need $150, cause that's what he costs.  Buy me one at http://splurrt.bigcartel.com/.