Warlock Trooper from Martin Ontiveros

 

    If they're going to continue to make Star Wars films and TV shows (which, like death and taxes, is inevitable at this point) then I would love to see them take some liberties. Extreme liberties, not just continuing to expand a universe by filling in the back story of every minor character. I'm talking reimagining it from start to finish in different genres. How about a Star Wars horror series? Or what if Tolkien influenced an entire trilogy? Disney has dipped their toes in these waters with the Visions animated shorts, but I want more and I especially want one built around this toy.

     Martin Ontiveros has resurrected his Warlock Trooper resin figure and good God almighty this is what I want the next Star Wars film to look like. A full blown heavy metal video of craziness, which really isn't a stretch because you already have space wizards and laser swords. I don't know the first thing about making movies, but with a starting point like this it practically makes itself. 

   These bad boys are limited to 25 pieces on signed and numbered card backs and can be yours this Friday starting at 10 am Pacific time. You can only find them at martinheadrocks.bigcartel.com .

IG-88 Tank Lottery from Plaseebo

    

    Leave it to Plaseebo to create what might be my favorite custom Star Wars figure I've ever seen.  The IG droid on The Mandolorian was the breakout star of the show, adding human elements to the bounty hunting droid that had been reserved almost exclusively for C-3PO and R2D2.  But Plaseebo has stripped him back down into a machine made for little other than killing by mounting his head on a tank.  It looks like a plausible weapon and not something at all you would let babysit your tiny Yoda.  

    As with most of his creations, there is only one of these light up works of art.  You have until tomorrow, Tuesday, September 29 to enter the lottery for tour chance to purchase it.  Here's what you have to do to be considered:

To enter lottery, please send the following to:   bob@plaseebo.net 

1.  Name

2.  Shipping Address 

3.  Country

4.  Telephone Number

5.  PayPal Email Address

6.  Instagram ID

Lottery winner will receive a notification email by Wednesday  September 30th. The figure will ship from the USA upon receipt of payment due by Thursday October 1st.

Drorgs Star Wars Inspired Sofubi from Nathan Hamill x Science Patrol

     I can appreciate a good mashup because there are honestly too many things in the world for me to enjoy and not enough time to do so.  We as a society need to start condensing awesome things otherwise I feel like I'm going to miss something.  TV shows would be a great place to start because the list of shows I want to watch versus my ability to see them all if greatly disproportionate.  I remember when my wife and I started watching Breaking Bad just before the final season was to air and being freaked out by how many episodes we had to watch to catch up. Not only was it a daunting task but doing so just added to the backlog of other shows that I couldn't watch at the same time.  So if someone could figure out the technology where I could watch two totally different shows simultaneously while maintaining a high level of enjoyment for each it would be greatly appreciated.  Otherwise, I'm gonna need all the good shows to start blending their stories together so I can maximize my time and see everything that's recommended to me.  I think Good Omens and Superstore could easily become a single thing, so let's start there.

     I love Porgs and I love Droids, so Nathan Hamill and Science Patrol are freeing up my love for other things by combining the two in glorious sofubi.  They come in two colorways, Carbonite and Starfield, and will be available for the first time at the appropriately named Scum and Villainy Cantina in Los Angeles.  Each set will be $40 and you can pick up yours during the event that is happening tomorrow, June 28, at 8pm.  

Baby Proto Villain from The Sucklord

    There was a time in the not so distant past when I was all about collecting Star Wars.  But some of you might have noticed that they produce literal tons of that stuff every year, so I narrowed my focus down to just Darth Vader figures, because he is my favorite character from the films.  Others of you may have noticed that they would release new Darth Vader figures all the time but they were the exact same just repackaged in hopes no one noticed.  I played the game for a while but forced myself to abandon it because no matter how you arranged the figures you could not as a matter of fact build a suitable living structure from them, and to own them all would require my mortgage payment to be a tad short every month.  Sometimes practicality stands victorious.

    The Sucklord has taken my favorite character from my favorite movie and made him small and cute.  This Baby Proto Villain comes bagged with a header card and is available right now for $45 from www.suckadelic.com.  

    

The Cast of Rogue One from Forces of Dorkness

    I know the Internet is filled with fake news and alternative facts, but I read the other day that they had to shut a bunch of rides down at Disney Land because someone spread a dead relative's ashes on them.  I don't know how this all went down, but I'd like to think they got into the front seat of Splash Mountain, threw their hands in the air, and just let the wind do the work.  That way it's just like they were taking one last ride on all their favorites, while anyone sitting behind the mourners spent the rest of their day picking charred human remains from their eyelids.  It really is the happiest place on earth!

    In case you haven't noticed, neither Jyn Erso nor any of her esteemed rebels from Rogue One made an appearance in the original Star Wars waaaaaay back in 1977.  That's because they were all roasted.  Oh dang, I forget to yell "spoiler alert."  Though I'm sure if George Lucas was still involved in the storied franchise he would have found a way to digitally insert their ghosts into the original films, causing my head to literally explode as if it had been fired upon by the Death Star.

    Forces of Dorkness has created the ultimate collectible for the Star Wars fan in your life with this bag of ashes from the characters.  Who exactly your mixture will contain is a complete mystery and thats half the fun!  Pick one of these up right now from http://forcesofdorkness.storenvy.com.

    

Life Size First Order Storm Trooper from Sideshow Collectibles

 
    Alright, I'm gonna go ahead and pass the digital collection plate around and ask you all to give generously so I can buy this.  I say a lot of times that I need things, but I reaaaaaaaallllly NEED this.  I would literally throw my sofa out to make room for this.  I am committing to you a lifetime of eating meals and watching tv while sitting on the floor just to make room in my house for this Storm Trooper.  And no, I didn't ask my wife how she felt about that cause I'm pretty sure she wants me to live out my dreams.

    You can preorder this thing of beauty right now from Sideshow Collectibles for the price of $7,999.99, which is why I'm trying to get that collection going.  Fund my happiness, people!  You can get one for me by visiting http://www.sideshowtoy.com.

Rick Springfield Has a Better Star Wars Collection Than You

     The toy game is strong in this one.  And before you think it's because he's rich, he actually bought most of it when it first came out, making him a true plastic visionary.  Rick Springfield, I salute you.  Oh, and the video is courtesy of Rolling Stone.  Not that they sent it to me or anything, I just kinda yanked it off of Youtube.  Just giving credit where it is due.  

Boba K.Slave at Coin Rides Game #2 from Fools Paradise

    There is no way I'm attempting to retype the name of this toy cause everything about me is in pain at the grammatical free for all that is taking place there.  Thankfully, that has zero bearing on how amazing this toy is.  Fools Paradise makes some drool-worthy pieces that I would kill to own and this may be my all time favorite one.  They've turned Boba Fett's Slave One into a coin op ride, turned him into a her, and the result is one of the best interpretation of the Star Wars universe that I've ever seen.

    The preorder for this beauty is going on right now over at this link until February 6th.  They're making them to order so don't expect to get one if you miss out this go round.  Each one will set you back $269, but think of all the happiness it will bring you.

Super Shogun Boba Fett "Prototype Edition" from Super7 x Funko

    When they make that stand alone Boba Fett movie it should start right after he falls into the Sarlac and his wife should show up and rescue him.  That's right, his wife that you didn't even know he had that's super competitive and never going to let him live down the fact that she saved him from certain digestion.  Then the rest of the movie should be reality show style as they catch various space criminals like that Dog the Bounty Hunter.  They could also have some dumb kids that they're trying to work into the family business, and I think they should have those little side interviews like they do on Parks and Recreation cause those make me happy.  My brain is literally minting gold bars with this one.

    These Super Shogun Boba Fett figures are by far my favorite to have come from the Super7 and Funko partnership.  They're frickin huge, which I love, and they're Star Wars related, which again is ok by me.  Make a statement in your home with this Protoype Edition right now for $200 by visiting this link.


    

Kylo Ren Artfx+ Statue from Kotobukiya

    I actually wasn't nervous at all about liking the new Star Wars movie.  I liked what J.J. Abrams did with the last two Star Trek films and figured he was smart enough to know the consequences of screwing this up.  After those crappy prequels, death was not off the table if someone made another bad Star Wars film, but luckily everything worked out just fine.  I will admit however to being a tad apprehensive about Kylo Ren.  The dude looked cool, but I wasn't getting tricked into buying any merchandise until I made sure he wasn't dumb on film.  Not only was he a cool villain, but one that was deeply interwoven with the main characters.  He is a tortured, somewhat conflicted soul who could really shine in the next few sequels.  And I want a working version of that lightsaber.  

    Now Kylo Ren is being immortalized in Kotobukiya's Artfx+ line.  I like these dudes cause they come in pieces and you get to put em together, which may or may not make you feel a minor sense of pride.  Just remember to put him where your cats can't reach him him lest they put little teeth marks in him like they did with my Darth Vader one.  He now has a semi lumpy light saber and a hand that looks painfully arthritic.  They're lucky they're cute.

    This will be available in July but you can ensure you get one by preordering it now from http://www.kotous.com.

Funko Announces Bi-Monthly Star Wars Subscription Boxes

    Man, let me tell you how caught up I got in all the new Star Wars excitement.  I drug my behind, and that of my wife, out to Toys R Us at midnight just to get a look at the new toys.  I walk in and there's these four foot tall Stormtrooper and Darth Vader figures for $100 each and I almost came home with them.  I was trying to justify buying them, but once civil war broke out in my brain the reasonable side totally won out, leaving behind them a trail of dead, irrational soldiers.  Then we go into Bed Bath and Beyond a few days later and they have that killer smart phone controlled BB-8 toy, and yet again a war was fought in the confines of my skull.  I ended up leaving with a headache and no droid.  Sometimes being an adult is beyond dumb.

    Finally, after years of seeing people freak out about those subscription box thingys there's finally one I'm interested in.  I've completely given up on anyone coming out with the "Human Skull of the Month" club, but Funko's Smuggler's Bounty is pretty intriguing.  They're kicking this thing off in November and the first box will feature 2 exclusive Pop! Vinyl figures and other stuff related to the new film.  Supposedly every box will focus on a different aspect of the Star Wars universe, but hopefully they're smart enough to leave Jar Jar out of it.  Unless it's a severed head, then by all means.  Each box will cost $25 and will be available bi-monthly, but if you subscribe for a full year you get a special surprise at the end of it that's exclusive to those not afraid of commitment.  Get it going over at www.smugglersbounty.com.  

Star Wars "Force Friday" Recap or Why I Am So Tired Today

    Despite what I said yesterday about not being able to stay up late, I couldn't stand looking at all the pictures of the new Star Wars toys online and not participate.  So when my wife got home from work this is what ensued:

Me:  "Hey babe, I'm sorry you had such a hard day at work, why don't we go out to eat tonight."  

Sharon:  "Oh, that's so sweet of you, let me go and get changed."

Me: "Shut up squid man, you're killing my game here."

    So we have a nice dinner and on the way home we stop by Toys R Us to see how they're setting up for the new toys.  There are signs everywhere and empty shelves teasing us with their promised bounty later in the night.  We go home, watch a bit of tv and then I start showing her people's Instagram posts with all of their bounty.  Next thing you know this happens:

Sharon:  "If you want we could totally go to Toys R Us to check it out tonight."

    Next thing you know we're standing outside with fellow nerds waiting to buy toys for a movie we haven't even seen yet.  It was kind of like a mini comic con moment, though much less smelly.  The first thing we see as we enter are these giant Stormtrooper and Darth Vader figures:

    I'd say they were about 4 feet tall and priced at $100, which is pretty reasonable considering their size.  While the temptation was strong, I didn't want to get caught up in the moment and buy everything in sight.  In fact I was so restrained this is the totality of what I purchased:

    That's it.  A lone Captain Phasma Pop! Vinyl for $10.  The commemorative Lego brick was free at the door and the main reason I wanted to go to Toys R Us.  It has the date on the back of it so one day I can reflect on my life and say "I stayed up way past my adult bed time to look at action figures."  Everyone in the nursing home will be impressed.  

Star Wars "Force Friday" Is Almost Here

    Oh my lord I am excited for the new Star Wars toys!!!!!!!!!!!!!!  Tonight, as the clock strikes midnight, people are gonna flood their local stores and ruin their credit ratings by buying anything and everything from the movie they haven't even seen yet.  And you know what?  I'd love to join em, but that is waaaaaaaaay beyond my bedtime.  I know, I'm about as much fun as wearing a wet pair of jeans, but I've passed that point in life where my body will do the things I want it to.  I don't want to have to get up at 3am to pee every night, but guess what, that's what happens.  And I don't want to fall asleep on the couch every night and miss the endings of my favorite shows, but that doesn't stop my brain from flipping that off switch and turning me into a drooling idiot with my mouth hung wide open.  Just this week alone I've missed the endings to Monday Night Raw and Ink Master and I almost passed out before Mr. Robot was over last night, which would have infuriated me.  So while I won't be elbowing my fellow nerds in pursuit of a carded Storm Trooper, I'm sure that there are plenty of everything to go around so I won't miss out on anything I want.  I mean there will be, right?  

"Sand K. Troop at Coin Rides Game #1" from Fools Paradise

    Ok, let me make it perfectly clear that the name of this toy is a bit nuts.  I put that sucker in quotation marks so you didn't think I had a stroke while typing this.  The name reminds me of when my brother went to Korea and he came back with this shirt that had a picture of a monkey in a space helmet and it said underneath "The Matrix Lord of The Rings Return of the King".  They had just taken recently released movie titles, mashed em together, and called it a day.  I was really pissed he didn't buy me one.

  I'm more than willing to overlook what may be a rather confusing name and instead focus on the majesty that is this toy.   Let's break it down into its component elements to fully appreciate what it has going for it:

1.) It's Star Wars presented in a unique way

2.) Half-nekkid lady Storm Trooper

    It practically sells itself on those two points alone!  So since I have convinced you that you need one, I shall now tell you how to make all of your dreams come true.  You're gonna want to go to this link type in your payment info, and one of these will magically appear at your doorstep later this year.  You only have until September 8th to preorder one and they cost $289 with shipping included (magic ain't free, son).

Seen at SDCC: Star Wars Episode VII Behind the Scenes Trailer

    December can't come fast enough.  

My Top Ten Favorite SDCC Exclusive Thingys

    Yeah, sure, that's a tad bit dramatic, but seeing everyone's pictures from San Diego Comic Con makes me REEEEEEAAALLLLLLLLYYYYYYY wish I was there.  Thankfully New York Comic Con is coming up soon or else I would be losing it for real.  In the spirit of my depression let's take a look at my top 10 favorite exclusive things that are available to convention goers as we speak.  

    Despite our best efforts, Sharon and I still have space left on our walls at home.  We've determined that we hang our pictures "salon style" which they used to do back in the day, and it is a much better term than "a visual representation of mental illness style", which we had been using prior.  These three prints from Kidrobot and artists Brandt Peters, Frank Kozik, and Scott Tolleson would indeed take a place or prominence amongst our collection.  Pick em up during each artist's signings at Kidrobot's booth #5645.  

     That beauty to the right is the comic con exclusive Berry Chocolate Lady Dunny from Junko Mizuno x Kidrobot.  What words could I use to express my desire to have one?  Just look at it.  

    Thakfully, Frank Kozik's ice cream dude Jerome is merely debuting at comic con and will make its way online at some point afterwards from Rotofugi x Squibbles Ink, otherwise I might have had to hire myself a toy mule to procure one.  If you're there, get one at booth # 5248.  If you're not, practice the difficult art of being patient.  Trust me, I need all the practice I can get.  

    Shub Zeroth Misfortune Bags courtesy of Metacrypt and Brian Ewing's booth # 4503 should be on everyone's must-have lists.  Not only do you get a sweet sofubi monster toy, you get a bag to carry it in.  That's a convention blessing.  

    Super7 is straight killing it this year with their Skeletor's Lair pop up shop located in their San Diego retail store.  You can't go wrong with nostalgia presented in a fresh way, like this Chia Pet Moss Man.  Genius!  

    A soft vinyl Skeletor collaboration with Gargamel?  Sign me up, son.  I can't wait to see painted and marbled versions of this, which are gonna blow my mind/bank account wide open.  

     You know its true love when you find an amazing toy at a bargain of a price and that's exactly what Headspace from Luke Chueh and Munky King is.  And the best part is that there will be some available on their website at a later date, so stay the hell away from eBay cause all hope is not lost.  

    JJ Abrams did such a good job with the new Star Trek movies that I'm confident Star Wars is gonna be awesome.  I'm so confident, I would totally by this Black Series Storm Trooper without thinking twice.  

    I'll be more than happy to welcome this 20 inch hologram Darth Vader into my life.  

    Anything from Weta Workshop.  Seriously, have you seen pictures of their booth?  It's an event by itself.  Everything they do make me weep tears of joy.  

More Star Wars Pop! Vinyl Coming Soon from Funko

    Scientists predict that there will never be a time from now until the end of the human race that there will not be new Star Wars stuff to buy.  And it will probably continue beyond that as a superior race of beings from somewhere in space discovers our once vibrant planet, covered in sand and ruins and near mint packaged action figures.  They will fall in love with them so much that they will start bootlegging them on their home world, to be sold in whatever passes for a Chinatown there.  It's exactly what the "Circle of Life" song in The Lion King was talking about.

    Funko is continuing it's quest to make every character from every thing you can think of into a Pop! Vinyl figure with the latest series from Star Wars.  They will be available in July and I'm gonna need the Darth Vader one, but I'm holding out on anymore until they make one of the guy who ran catering on set.  It'll happen.


    

Star Wars: The Force Awakens Posters Have Leaked!!!!!

    Oh sweet Jesus look what I found!!!!!!  In a move that I'm sure is purely coincidental (wink wink) the advertising for the new Star Wars film The Force Awakens has leaked just as Star Wars Celebration kicks off in California.  Now we get our first proper look at the newest bad dude on the Sith block, who's looking to crush the now victorious rebellion and restore an evil reign of terror to the galaxy.  I'm totally having a nerd seizure of excitement looking at these.  Is it December yet?  

"Our Father" Darth Vader Resin Sculpture from Sket One

    Guess what?  I just spent your tax return for you.  I apologize in advance to all the people you swore you'd pay back when you got your "taxes did", but this is more important.  This massive Darth Vader resin is the work of Sket-One, who has just upped the game when it comes to religious-inspired art.  And he wasn't shy about it either, cause this sucker stands a little over two feet tall and weighs 10 pounds.  This may be the greatest thing you will ever own that can double as an anti-burglary weapon.  Now, before you lose your mind past the point of no return, this Lord of the Sith ain't cheap.  For this massive piece it will set you back $999.  Also keep in mind that Sket estimates that this will cost about $200 just to ship but he will make accommodations for you to pick it up in person if you wanna go to California.  It could be like an awesome pilgrimage!  Only 25 of these behemoths were produced and will go on sale this Friday, April 18th.  For those of us that already blew our tax returns on wrestling tickets and trips to the vet, he will also be offering prints and prayer candles (oh, I'm gonna need one of those my friends) through http://1xrun.com/.  I better see some serious shrines created by anyone that buys this.  You might wanna go ahead and empty a room of your house just so you can do it justice.  

Heavy Metal Wookie from I Break Toys/Lisa Rae Hansen at ToyCon UK

   When Wookies aren't ripping your arms off and beating you to death with them for defeating them at space chess, they like to form bands and tour around the galaxy.  And they only play metal that would melt the skin right off your face.  You won't necessarily find this bit of information in any of those Star Wars books, but I've never lied to you before.  Except that one time about that thing.  

   Lisa Rae Hansen/I Break Toys/international woman of amazing art toys fame, has outdone herself with these Heavy Metal Wookies.  Each color is limited to 10 pieces, with 5 of them being available at ToyCon UK tomorrow and the other 5 going online shortly after at http://ibreaktoys.storenvy.com/.  She'll have a bunch of other cool stuff at her booth if you're lucky enough to be going to the convention, so stop by, say hi, and buy lots of toys.