Mighty Jaxx Exclusive Skull Flower from Tara McPherson x Toy Qube

    As the cold, depressing grip of late fall/early winter chokes out the sunlight on New Jersey, I am trying to remember all of the success my wife and I had with our gardening efforts this year.  She enjoyed a bountiful harvest of peppers, though our attempts at growing eggplant produced nothing but no edible runts. All of the blueberries were consumed by the chipmunk that lives under our porch which I don't really mind because I'd like to think he looks forward to them every year.  Flower-wise we were smarter this year, as we only planted things that could tolerate a healthy amount of neglect and that would attract butterflies and hummingbirds for the cats to watch.  Right now the only color outside of our house comes from the uncarved pumpkins that are well past their expiration date and that I'm scared to pick up lest they explode in my hands and cover me in their gore.  I can see it now as I go to toss them into the woods and their already soft rinds give way, ruining a perfectly good pair of shoes.  Whatever happened to juvenile delinquents stealing them to throw them at houses they didn't like?  Please, come and take them!

     This Skull Flower from Tara McPherson perfectly illustrates the grave yard that is my flower bed this time of year.  Death thrives in the damp mud left behind from melted snow fall and the only thing that will grow is the shortening of daylight.  Alas, before I start reciting The Raven, let me tell you that this exclusive Mighty Jaxx version of this figure will be released on Saturday, December 14th at 9am eastern time for $55 (which includes world wide shipping).  You can snag one for yourself by visiting https://mightyjaxx.rocks.  

Skull Flower Sculpture from Tara McPherson x Toy Qube

    Finally, someone has created the perfect representation for my success with plants.  Sharon is much better at growing things than I am and thankfully for any vegetation we attempt to grow she takes the lead.  The problem is I expect things to act like they would if they had been allowed to grow on their own without human interaction.  Plants have been doing fine without us so how come a little neglect on my part results in their demise?  Have we turned plants into entitled Millennial that need our participation trophies in order to thrive in the world we've created?  Get out there and do your thing rhododendron, I can't take how emotionally draining you've become!

    How awesome would it be if you could actually grow skulls?  I'm sure those companies that make genetically modified plants have accidentally done something like that and promptly had to incinerate it.  Thankfully Tara McPherson's Skull Flower is in no way a danger to our well being, and this staple of her artwork can now be yours in 3D form.  Produced by Toy Qube, you can bring home this morbid bit of horticultural genius in both 5 and 12 inch versions.  Available now from https://www.toyqube.com, these are a much better idea to give your loved one than regular old flowers that will whither away to crispy little corpses.  This one starts off dead!

The Astronaut Darkness Edition Release Event from Alex Pardee x 3DRetro

   Alex Pardee used to live in Florida.  He finally came to his senses and got the hell out of there.  Now he lives in California and you can congratulate him on not getting eaten by dinosaurs when he hangs out at 3DRetro tomorrow night.  Of course he's not just there so you can shower him with praise and ask him how he managed to escape the state that ruins every election.  Nope, he's also got an exclusive version of his Toy Qube produced Astronaut figure and a bunch of other cool stuff so you can up your collectibles game.  The whole shindig goes down at 6pm so if you're in the Los Angeles area you should go and check it out and see a real live person that made it out of Florida's evil clutches.  It's like a sideshow except you won't feel so dirty about gawking once you leave.

  

Purple Lucha Squid from Germs x Toy Qube

    

   This toy right here has all the stuff I like:  Wrestling and squids.  And it's a toy, which I'm very into.  It was created by a man named Germs, which would not be my first choice for an alias because I am not a fan of unclean hands.  I'm much better than I have been in the past, but still not at the level where my wife can forget to put hand sanitizer in her purse and not expect an epic meltdown.  It's a guarantee that if we run out of the stuff that I'll accidentally touch something disgusting and be without a way to remedy it.  That's why my career in professional wrestling would never take off, because as soon as I had to grapple with a dude that had more hair on his back than his head, or if someone started bleeding all over the place I would forfeit.  Actually that's not the worst persona I could think of.  Get Vince McMahon on the phone!

    I wish Lucha squids were real and their programming already a part of my overpriced cable package.  Until someone figures that out this one from the previously mentioned Germs and Toy Qube will have to do.  This vinyl dude from the deep stands seven inches tall and is sporting a full sized body mask in glittery purple.  Start your federation now by visiting www.toyqube.com.