B.A.S.T.A.R.D. Sale from Triclops Studios

    In Game of Thrones, if you are the bastard son of anyone they never let you forget it.  You will never have a first name, you will just be so and so's bastard.  It's a harsh way to live and can't be good for one's self esteem.  But in real life, if you're a B.A.S.T.A.R.D., you're an awesome little plastic dude who is now 50% off!!  Triclops is putting all their remaining stock of figures on sale to make room for some new stuff.  That means insane deals on on toys for you from now until January 31st.  So stay inside where its warm, check out http://bastardshop.bigcartel.com/, and buy yourself lots of toys.  

The B.A.S.T.A.R.D. Shop from Triclops Studios Opens Tomorrow!!!!

    The internet is tricky.  Websites don't make themselves, and they involve lots of random numbers and letters that make absolutely no sense to me but when strung together allow you to see cats doing funny things.  Most likely the internet runs off of black magic.  It took Triclops a while to get the new website for their B.A.S.T.A.R.D. mini figures up and running, probably because they had to obtain some ancient relics for their internet necromancer to get the shopping cart feature to work.  They're so picky about the quality of their monkey paws and rat tongues.  

    But tomorrow you may rejoice at the fact that you can now get all these wacky little mini figures that your heart desires in one convenient place:  http://bastardshop.bigcartel.com/.  They've got a special release planned for Thanksgiving and Christmas, so keep your eyes peeled.  Not literally though, it would freak children out if you couldn't blink.  

Mishka Edition Bullet Belt from Skinner x Unbox Industries

    Oh snap son!!!!!  Did you miss out on your first crack at sweet wrasslin action when Skinner and Unbox Industries released Bullet Belt?  Well, unlike my Uncle Ted and his plight with the criminal justice system, you're gonna get a second chance.   On a side note, just cause they find a semi automatic weapon in the trunk of your car doesn't mean you can't act surprised about it and plead ignorance till your lawyer gets there.  Uncle Ted has no poker face.

    This is a most special Mishka edition of Bullet Belt known as Doom Belt!!!!!!!!!   Lamour Supreme created the paint scheme and you can pre order one of these beauties now.  I know what you're thinking: "but Chris, the weather is getting cold and I gotta save up for my heating bill."  Bull crap you do, cause Bullet Belt will keep you warm at night.  Just tuck him under the covers with you and let his awesomeness roast you like a Thanksgiving turkey.  And you don't have to grocery shop either, cause Bullet Belt will hunt all of your food for you with his bare fists.  I hope you like the taste of wild critters.  And you get a little Mini Bullet Belt to take with you to work, so he can get you that raise you deserve and stop other people from using your "World's Best Cat Dad" coffee mug.  It wouldn't be so bad if they would just wash it afterwards, cause you don't know where there filthy lips have been.  Mini Bullet Belt isn't gonna let you take that crap anymore and will leap from your pocket to throttle the offending party.

    I know what you're thinking now: "Chris, you've convinced me to open my heart and accept Bullet Belt as my personal protector/lover, so how do I get one."  Well, I'm gonna tell you.  You gotta pay a visit to http://store.unboxindustries.info/ and preorder one, cause these bad boys are being painted to order.  So if you don't order one now, you'll never be able to get one later when you've finally come to your senses.  And you only have until October 31st to pull the trigger on this bad boy so get to it.

Bullet Belt is part of the Triclops B.A.S.T.A.R.D. universe, punk.

B.A.S.T.A.R.D. 3 Packs from Triclops x Unbox Industries

    Are you ready for uber sick wrasslin action?  If you had to think about it then you're not ready and should probably go and reevaluate your life, because it's about to get crazy in here.  

    Triclops and Unbox Industries are proud to present these 3 packs of their super sick B.A.S.T.A.R.D. keshi inspired figures.  I'm so pumped up about this, I'm gonna walk to my neighbor's house and punch him in the face.  Don't worry, he had it coming for those weird barnyard noises he and his mutant girlfriend were making at one in the morning.  Seriously, it sounded like two injured donkeys on a trampoline.  He's about to feel the fury of my knuckles as they reorganize the bone structure of his pudding face.  

    Ok, so these are three packs which mean you get three figures.  The math is sound there my friends.  You can choose between either yellow or pink and the third figure will be an orange Bullet Belt figure from Skinner!!!!!  I have one of these and it is sick, easily the best little guy I have in my collection.  each pack is only $12.50, which is a great deal.  After I beat my neighbor up I may steal his wallet and buy a few to help ease the pain and suffering I've been through as a result of his improprieties.  Get em now from http://www.unboxindustries.info.