The Infernal "De Profundis" Edition from Transmission Toys x Unbox Industries

 

    Not having skin would suck, obviously for the whole "you'd be dead" reason, but if you could live without it there are no upsides.  Do you remember those sticky hands you used to be able to get from 25 cent machines at the store and how all the fun was ruined once they got covered in dirt and hair? Now imagine that's your entire body.  I feel gross just thinking about it.  I'm sure I had other examples ready when I started writing this but I am so skeeved out by the idea of my organs looking like an industrial lint trap that I just can't get past it.  

    Transmission Toys has teamed up with the fine folks at Unbox Industries to create their debut figure, The Infernal.  As you can see, he is not a man rich in dermis, but what he lacks in protective covering he more than makes up for with his can-do attitude (probably not though). This toy is made of beautifully marbled soft vinyl, stands 7 and 1/2 inches tall, and will retail for $75 when he goes on sale this Saturday (May 8th) at 11am eastern time. Get yours at http://store.unboxindustries.info/.

The Nameless Beast "Witching Hour" Edition from John Kenn Mortensen x Unbox Industries

     

    The beast that plagues our world right now is far from nameless, and I hope with all of my being that he will be a thing of our ugly past very soon.  If you're an American and can vote please do it so we can all go back to fully appreciating fictional monsters the way God intended and stop being kept awake at night by the one's running our country.  

   John Kenn Mortensen's work with Unbox Industries has produced some of my favorite toy releases in the past few years.  They are freakier than anything my overactive imagination could have come up with as a kid when I heard noises outside of my window.  Had I thought The Nameless Beast was lurking within striking distance I would have given up hope of ever being old enough to experience the joys of arthritis.  

   This latest version is known as the Witching Hour edition and will be released this Saturday, which also just happened to be Halloween.  It's like they planned it that way or something.  Invite the monsters in starting at 11am eastern time only from store.unboxindustries.info.

The Many Headed Hag Preorder from John Kenn Mortensen x Unbox Industries

    With a name like "The Many Headed Hag" most of you probably think I'm going to make a joke about your mom.  Despite thinking that would be hilarious, it is rather low hanging fruit, and I'd like to think I have the maturity to rise above such things.  And even though I'd like to think it I'M COMPLETELY WRONG BECAUSE YOU KNOW WHO ELSE IS A MANY HEADED HAG? YOUR MOM!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  

    I'm embarrassed for myself,  but despite having a name that resembles your mom, this figure from John Kenn Mortensen and Unbox Industries is something I would actually allow in my house...UNLIKE YOUR MOM!!!!! HAHAHAHA..I'm good...I'm good.  This thing is a nightmarish thing of beauty that will bring hours of terror and wonder to all who own one.  Standing nearly 10 inches tall this vinyl sculpture will go up for preorder beginning tomorrow (Saturday, May 16th) for $100.  They'll be available exclusively from http://store.unboxindustries.info.

DesignerCon Exclusives from Scott Tolleson

     When Scott Tolleson isn't curating the best "Jeffrey Epstein Didn't Kill Himself" memes on Facebook, his like, fifth favorite thing to do is design toys.  He'll have a bunch of releases for this year's DesignerCon including some old favorites and some brand new figures that are sure to become your favorites the moment you lay eyes on them, which is about to happen right now.

     Is it technically still a dad bod if you don't have kids?  Of course I'm asking for a friend, as I am the epitome of peak performance.  I'm not here to shame you though, even if you are a sentient root vegetable with resting New Jersey face (it's like resting bitch face, except it let's everyone around you know that you're ready to throw hands at all times, bro).  Being that they are Deadbeets, their dad bod's could be the result of the various bacteria in their guts that are fighting a losing battle in trying to breakdown their formerly living tissue, thus turning their bellies and into a volatile gas bomb.  Isn't nature beautiful?

    Oooooooh this is so pretty.  Cast in clear Bourbon tinted resin, this five inch Shard Dunny is sure to be one of the big hits of the show.  Did you see that a whiskey company made little shots of liquor that look like Tide pods?  That's sure an interesting way to reach a customer base that is obviously brain dead already, but you have to leave no stone unturned if you want to grow your business I guess.  I love this figure and the variations in color they were able to achieve and the effect is probably even cooler after you've downed a couple of those sweet bourbon laundry pods.  

    Let's keep the good resin vibes going with a figure you may recognize that has gotten a size upgrade.  WNDGO has gotten the five inch upgrade as well, with a clear blue body and a bone-like mask that I suspect will make him equally as popular as his brother listed above.  It's a striking combination that is equal parts cute and nightmarishly freaky.  If you wake up one night and he's chewing on your toes in a non alluring way don't act like I didn't see that coming.   

     Well this is certainly different from what we've seen before.  Just a little ice cream dinosaur bro, his mouth agape as he utters the word "Mama" in a squeaky little voice that would instantly make your heart melt.  Speaking of melt, if all of the dinosaurs were actually made of ice cream that would totally explain how they all went extinct.  They ignored all the signs of global warming and in doing so turned into lactose filled puddles.  He's not asking for his mother, no he is screaming that their hubris has doomed them all.   This figure is a collaboration with Unbox Industries and Ziqi, who are probably horrified about what I've just written.  

    I've done some damage to chicken nuggets in my lifetime and it looks like my day of reckoning is close at hand.  Look, I can't help that they are the most deliciously perfect food on Earth and that my body still craves them even as an adult.  Especially when they're crispy on the outside and warm and filled with otherwise unusable chicken bits on the inside.  You think that whole "pink slime" expose deterred me in any fashion from devouring them by the handful?  I can assure you it did not.  But what if every chicken nugget I ever ate turned into one of these, formed an army, and sought their revenge?  I better get my affairs in order.

    All of the goodness you see here and much more will be available by visiting Scott at booth # 209.

Blue Variant Devilman from Mike Sutfin x Unbox Industries x Mondo

    I could go for sprouting a set of bat wings, as long as they were retractable and I could still sit comfortably.  I figure if I managed to have bat wings in the first place the same magic that gave them to me could also make them able to disappear adequately.  And also get rid of my fear of heights, otherwise I'd only be able to fly about as high as a regulation basketball rim before getting the shakes.    These are the things my brain forces me to consider when I know I have to be up in five hours and actually trying to fall asleep makes doing so impossible.

    Mike Sutfin's beyond detailed and uber popular take on Devilman is now in it's third incarnation with this Mondo exclusive blue variant.  Produced by the vinyl elves at Unbox Industries, there was little warning about this release, as it makes its debut today, Tuesday May 22nd, at noon central time. Ugh, you guys are killing me with all this cool stuff right before Five Points Fest.  Snag one and dream of the freedom that a pair of leathery wings would give you by visiting www.mondotees.com.

Devilman Preorder from Mike Sutfin x Unbox Industries

    I'll admit that my familiarity with the Devilman character lives and dies with the background video Rob Zombie played at a show sixteen years ago during the song "Super Charger Heaven".  That chorus makes you want to drop kick someone in the face.  But I've always thought the look of him was pretty crazy, that is until I saw Mike Sutfin's rendition you see hear, which blows any other version straight out of the water.  This dude has details on top of details, which then have more details that you didn't even notice the first time.  It's pure visual insanity, making the figure look like it has life, or death, flowing through every inch.  Pretty intense for a pice of plastic.  

   The folks at Unbox Industries produced this and have now made him available for preorder.  Standing at just over a foot tall and retailing for $120, you can secure yourself one right now by visiting http://store.unboxindustries.info.  These are scheduled to ship at the end of the month, so get to it.  

Warrior from the Jade Galaxy from Unbox Industries

    Thirty years from now when some Hollywood studio decides to remake the Alien vs. Predator film, these four figures would be a great jumping off point for the story.  Imagine some Indiana Jones type walking through a night market in Taiwan.  He walks past the stands and people selling their wares, yet he sees none of it.  Something pulls at him with unseen hands, guiding him through the throngs of shoppers.  And then he sees it: a heavily laquered cherry wood box, ornately detailed with gold inlay.  He reaches down and unlatches it, revealing four grotesque jade figures unlike anything he has ever seen.  He picks one up to admire it and the way the moonlight fills it's every detail has left him in a near trance.  It isn't until the stall owner speaks that he is able to break his gaze:

  "For a price, I can take you to where I found them."


     Then some stuff happens, everyone dies, blah blah blah.  You get the gist.

    I'm not saying these are the greatest Alien and Predator toys of all time, but they've certainly set the proverbial bar a tad high for anyone after.  Created by artist Tik Ka From East and produced by the wizards at Unbox Industries, each figure is hand painted to look like actual jade.  The effect is so realistic they look closer to the stone that inspired them rather than the vinyl they're made of.  You can preorder them right now at http://store.unboxindustries.info/ for $255 a set.

First Painted Edition of Orion from Brandt Peters x Unbox Industries

    I would have sworn by the year 2017 we would have all kinds of cool Terminator body parts that could shoot flames and save MP3s.  While awesome replacement parts aren't readily available at Costco, having snakes for arms like this dude would be super weird and probably not the most fun.  Could you even carry heavy stuff around, like could you get your snakes extra swole at the gym?  And shaking hands would require the person you're greeting to be bit by venomous reptiles, so good luck making friends.  You'd probably take some pretty epic Instagram pics though, which could get you sponsorships from lots of dumb companies that make weird beauty products that no one needs.  See, I took that positive and totally turned it into a negative.  I am in no way shape or form ready for snake arms.

    While I am not responsible enough for serpent limbs, this mummy bro from Brandt Peters and Unbox Industries has adapted quite well.  This is the first painted version of Orion that's ever existed and you can welcome him into your home this Saturday (July 22nd) when he goes on sale at http://store.unboxindustries.info.  Check that site for more info as it pertains to your area of the world.

Giant Vinyl Mockbats from Paul Kaiju x Unbox Industries

   Forget fiberglass, because Unbox Industries is proving that not only can you make giant figures out of vinyl, but it can also be relatively affordable.  These Mockbats from Paul Kaiju are nearly three feet of sweet sweet plastic that are just as articulated as their smaller relatives.  You have your choice between orange, black, and pink and the preorder for them will begin this Saturday, July 22nd, and they will retail for $750 each, which considering their size seems like a great price to me.  Check out the details at http://store.unboxindustries.info to secure yourself one.  Get one just in time for Halloween and take your decorating into the year 2087.

Tuddy and Inklin Vinyl Figures from Annie Montgomerie x Unbox Industries

    There is no reason to keep making toys everyone, so you can all go home and focus on other endeavors, because the mic has been dropped and the mold broken.  Well, I hope the mold wasn't actually broken because a lot more of these beauties from Annie Montgomerie and Unbox Industries are gonna need to be made.  Now normally I'm not ok with animals having people hands and legs, but these two are just so dang adorable I'm not gonna let my hang ups stop me from loving em.  I would not be surprised if they emerged from my basement holding hands and singing a song about skipping our way to Narnia.  Actually that would surprise the hell out of me being that my crack team of attack cats study pro wrestling like it's their job, which it sort of is.  So let me rephrase:  I would not be surprised if my cats found these two roaming around the house, placed them both in the camel clutch, and made them state their business under penalty of a choke slam through a table.  After which we would of course skip to Narnia.

    Both will be available for preorder starting on March 25th until April 10th.  Each vinyl figure is hand painted to mimic Annie's original anthropomorphic creations in striking detail.  Get yours from http://store.unboxindustries.info.

"Reyn" Edition GOG from Rob Jones x Unbox Industries

 

    The names Gog and Magog are entwined in the lore of many different places and can even be found mentioned in the Bible.  Their pertinence here is in relation to London, who claims them as protectors of the city.  With a face devoid of flesh and a suit that Genghis Khan would have worn to the prom, this dude looks like he would squash any tomfoolery with his spikey ball thingy and spend his lunch break polishing it to its original shine with your major organs.  So much more effective than Armor All.

    This mythological bouncer was designed by one Rob Jones and is based on a gig poster he did a few years back.  Unbox Industries brought it to disturbing life in plastic form and the results are a massive figure that could scare a hyena off a hamburger.  There's three versions of this dude, and Rob has sold out of the first two already.  But you can still own the spectral-like Reyn edition direct from his website by clicking here.  

Paul Kaiju Exclusives for DesignerCon

    Paul Kaiju has been posting tons of teasers for his DesignerCon exclusives and I'm over here just fiending for every one.  Seriously, he has outdone himself and there isn't a thing I wouldn't drop kick a stranger to own.  His booth #533 will involve two days of lotteries and you can see some of what is to be offered in these two photos.   And here is the schedule if you plan on purchasing anything:

Paul Kaiju Booth #533  Schedule
Saturday November 19th:

9:00am – 2:30pm: Free tickets available for Saturday Drawing
3:00pm: Random Drawing for Paul Kaiju Figures

Sunday November 20th:

10:00am – 1:30pm: Free tickets available for Sunday Drawing
2:00pm: Random Drawing for Paul Kaiju Figures

    But that isn't even all of it, no sir, because he's got even more releases at other booths.  Unbox Industries (booth #1021) The Sour Lemon (booth #1800) and Vinyl Goldmine (booth #623) will also have different items for sale.  Sadly, I will be working, but you go an have fun for me so I can live vicariously through your Instagram posts.

The Unbox Industries Halloween Emporium Opens Today!!!!!

    Halloween is coming and for most people that means heading out to the store to buy decorations or digging a musty old box out of the attic that you only see once a year in order to bring the spirit of the holiday into your home.  I have no need of either because my entire home looks like Elvira was hired to design Pee Wee's Playhouse.  Every day passes for Halloween where I live, and there's no better way to keep that aesthetic year round than with some new toys to display.  

    Unbox Industries is opening their Halloween Emporium today at 6pm eastern time and will feature some brand new versions of some of the most twisted things they've ever produced.  Take a gander at what will be available and dig up the receipt for that boring junk you already bought to scare the neighbor kids.  

"Blue Glow" Hand of Glory from Florian Bertmer x Unbox Industries Available for Preorder

    And now for something a little bit different.  For all of you that aren't obsessed with knowing every bizarre thing there is to know in the world, let me tell you a little bit about what a hand of glory actually is, courtesy of it's Wikipedia definition:

The Hand of Glory is the dried and pickled hand of a man who has been hanged, often specified as being the left (Latin: sinister) hand, or, if the man were hanged for murder, the hand that "did the deed."

Old European beliefs attribute great powers to a Hand of Glory combined with a candle made from fat from the corpse of the same malefactor who died on the gallows. The candle so made, lighted, and placed (as if in a candlestick) in the Hand of Glory, would have rendered motionless all persons to whom it was presented. 

    Pretty freaky right?  So say you're the nefarious type who enjoys breaking and entering but you're not much for confrontation.  Whip out one of these bad boys, light it up, and no one will ever know you robbed them blind until you're long gone.  It's like the ancient version of deactivating a security system but way more smelly.    

    Now you can own one made not of pickled human flesh but instead of sofubi, which is way less traumatizing to the people you live with.  Although I did tell my wife if I got one I was gonna put it under her pillow which led her to banning me from owning it because I "don't know how to act" so I kinda messed that up already.   And it sucks because this gem from artist Florian Bertmer and Unbox Industries not only looks super freaky in the daytime, but it has a blue glow at night which would have really been hilarious.  

   Up your cabinet of curiosities game by preordering one of these right now from wherever you prefer to buy your toys.  

  

Mixed Parts Mini Mockbats from Paul Kaiju X Unbox Industries

    In the summer I always look like I'm made of mixed parts, cause my head, neck and arms will be tan, while the rest of me is the color of one of those cave slugs.  I never try to get tan in the shape of my shorts and tshirt, it's just the hand I've been dealt as a modest dude who refuses to walk around without a shirt on.  Not only would it make me uncomfortable, but I feel as a responsible nipple owner it is my duty to keep them safe.  I've said too much.

   These suckers are gonna sell out so fast and be all over Instagram in plenty of situations that will make you mad jealous if you can't participate.  So when these Mockbats from Paul Kaiju and Unbox Industries go on sale Saturday April 23 you best be ready to get one.  They're sold blind so you can't pick the colors, but just getting one is gonna be so awesome it won't matter which color combo you get.  They're only going to be available from store.unboxindustries.info.

Skull Toys x Unbox Industries "Visible Man" Preorder

    Every now and then being the heavyweight champion of toy bloggery has its perks.  And no, I don't have some trophy on my mantel proclaiming me that because I wouldn't want a trophy; I'd want a title belt.  A full blown WWE belt would work just fine and I would wear that sucker with pride everywhere I went.  So when that becomes a thing I will graciously accept it, but until then you can just imagine it the same as I do.  Now back to my story.

    So being the Stone Cold of the online toy world means that every once in a while I get to do something cool, like handle a toy prototype in its infancy.  It was about two years ago that I met Dan from Unbox Industries and I held this very toy in my very hands.  They were still working out the squishy skin that covers the vinyl underneath and after much research and pain and suffering you will finally be able to order this beauty.  Designed by Skull Toys in homage to the Visible Man character from 2000 AD you can preorder this 30 cm tall freak show beginning this Saturday, February 6th at http://store.unboxindustries.info.  

Preorders Are Open for Brandt Peters x Zectron's "Camazotz" from Unbox Industries

    Do you really think I don't have a bat story?  Of course I have a bat story, and it goes a little something like this:

    When I was a teenager my family and I lived in a very old farmhouse complete with a barn and fields and such.  What also goes well with a very old farmhouse is a slew of uninvited guests that don't really give a crap whether you want them to live with you or not.  Most of us call those "relatives" but when you live in the middle of nowhere they usually involve species much different from you.  One morning my mother woke me up because she was screaming like OJ broke in.  I ran into the kitchen so I could give the police a good description of the assailant before I pleaded for my life and I see her backed into a corner and pointing at the window.  I looked over and the entire curtain rod, from end to end, was lined with bats.  They weren't any bigger than a mouse, but with rabies being an actual problem where I lived (I've even had my shots, which hurt like a mother) the little critters are cute but do pose a danger.  We closed the kitchen off and waited for them to fly back into the attic through the previously unnoticed hole in the plaster and then went about our day.  It was almost as exciting as the time I caught the same snake in my apartment on two different occasions.  But I digress.

      I have no idea where the name Camazotz comes from, but I know this bat dude from Brandt Peters and Zectron is amazing.  Standing at 10 inches tall, this vinyl beauty produced by Unbox Industries is available for preorder right now in two different color schemes at $85 each.  Secure one for yourself by visiting http://store.unboxindustries.info.  

Weedian "Leaf" Edition from Sleep x Arik Roper x Unbox Industries

    There's some music out there that demands to be played in a room filled with black light posters and pot smoke.  It was most likely conceived that way and will only make sense to someone who considers that a staple of their lifestyle.  Sleep's "Dopesmoker" album's title track is over an hour long  journey into the recesses of space and time and is the sort of thing you would listen to when you are contemplating the existential crisis you are currently faced with in your line of work.  Or when you just want to get stoned out of your mind and pretend you're a space wizard.  Same difference.

    What I picture when I hear it is a soundtrack to these Tusken Raider-like dudes trekking through the desert, searching for some far off destination they will never quite reach.  Are they putting their anger fueled past behind them, journeying through a metaphysical wasteland on their way to a higher (pun intended) existence or are they just trying to get away from crazy old dudes wielding laser swords?  

    Arik Roper created the art behind this stoner rock classic and Unbox Industries has brought it to life in 3D form.  This guy will be available for sale starting tonight from http://store.unboxindustries.info for $85 each.  

Mini Mockbats from Paul Kaiju x Unbox Industries Releasing Today!!!

    Paul Kaijus's Mini Mockbats are releasing tonight via Unbox Industries which is good cause I've been mad jealous at all the pictures I've seen of them from Designer Con.  They're so dang cute and look like they would sit perfectly in the pocket of my work shirts.  Then when someone is being unreasonable I could pat him on the head and say "shhhhhhh little buddy, we're going to try and handle this one without the hatchet."  Customer service issues would be solved in a matter of seconds.  See, people have the belief that no one that they're dealing with will just snap on them, thus making them act much more unreasonable in these type of situations.  But if you put it out there that their attitude is revealing a dark twisted side of you that may or may not take advice from a toy in your pocket, people might think twice about demanding to return something they bought four years ago but swear they never used and want to speak with a manager right away because obviously you can't give them the satisfaction they demand and are just continuing to waste their time which is by far more precious than the time they are wasting of yours as they continue to spew nonsense.  It's never happened to me, but I've heard stories.

   These little bros will be on sale today/tonight sometime over at http://store.unboxindustries.info.  Each figure is $40 and sold randomly, so you can't pick your color.  They all look good to me so I'd be happy with any of them.  

Three Witches: Skinner Edition Preorder from Unbox Industries

     With all these bozos trying to run for president you would think that maybe, just this once, someone would focus on an issue that is long in need of attention:  the lack of witch burnings.  Now you can't tell me that we stopped doing it cause we got em all, cause I don't believe that.  Or that it just fell out of fashion, cause what better thing can you think of to bring a community together than the warmth of a good witch burning in a carnival-like atmosphere with corn dogs and stuff?.  You got nothing.  And it's just not about the good times that are to be had, it's about all the evil doings that are, as of this posting, going unchecked.  Why just last week a woman was mad at me at work and I didn't poop right for a few days.  It's empirical evidence of a hex and I'm sure if I had some milking goats they would probably be dry right now as a result of said curse.  How can we allow this to continue?

   The tricky thing about witches is that they all don't stand out as readily as these that Skinner painted up.  They blend in, like that Miley Cyrus girl, so they could be amongst us right now!!!   John Kenn Mortensen and Unbox Industries made these old hags and you can preorder them from now until September 25 (or until the original allotted amount runs out).  Order some right now at http://store.unboxindustries.info and make them reveal the identities of their sisters in the black arts.  Also, make sure you have enough to lighter fluid, cause there's nothing that ruins a good ol witch burning like an absence of the actual burning part.  It's embarrassing.