New Tees from Jon-Paul Kaiser x Outsmart Originals

    You know what's nice about Outsmart Originals shirts?  They're subtle.  They're not covered in gold foil or all-over prints that make you look like a cast member of Jersey Shore.  And they don't say Tapout on them.  For the love of God if I have to see another skinny little kid who is most likely scared of squirrels wearing an MMA shirt I may just have to assault someone.

    Jon-Paul Kaiser returns to the ocean for inspiration with these latest designs.  And we know pirates are the second best savages on the open waters (vikings are of course first) and have lots of cool imagery to draw from.  Both of these shirts are available now for $20 each and come in men's and women's sizes.  Upgrade your closet by visiting http://www.outsmartoriginals.com/.

Mini Mao Resin Bust from Frank Kozik

    I miss the days when you would get the Sears catalogue in the mail, tear it open, and proceed to draw on all of the models.  You'd give em buck teeth or devil horns and they all deserved it.  Especially the underwear models because they looked a little too smug for a bunch of people not wearing pants.

    You know who else deserves it?  Chairman Mao.  The guy was a world class b-hole.  Years ago Frank Kozik added some Mickey Mouse ears to him and an icon was born.  I have a print of this dude hanging on my wall that says "The Bird is the Word" right under his grinning mug that may or may not mean something deeply political, but I like it because it makes me laugh.  People like him deserved to have their legacies mocked, so each time I smile at it maybe it knocks him down another peg.

    Now you can have your very own resin bust of the Chairman to create your own gallery of megalomaniacs.  He'll be available today at noon Pacific time for $40 only at www.frankkozik.net.  Only 50 were made and his stuff never lasts long so be quick on your computer if you want one.

Big Toe Flash Drive from Uglydoll x Mimobot

   This dudes name is Big Toe.  Sounds like some kind of nickname you would earn if you were in the Mafia.  Like, maybe if you were an enforcer and you cut off people's big toes when they didn't pay up. I know nothing about organized crime, but it sounds reasonable to me.

    Big Toe is the latest flash drive in the Ugly Dolls series from Mimobot.  You could store files on him, you could let your cats play with him, or you could just put him on your shelf and hope that when the cleanup team from Hoarders shows up that he makes it to the "keep" pile.  The possibilities are only limited by your imagination.  He's on sale right now http://www.mimoco.com/.

A Clockwork Carrot from Frank Kozik x Blackbook Toy Preorders Available Now

    Being that yesterday was tax day here in America, I know some of you have some extra cash lying about that you don't quite know what to do with.  Should you put it in a savings account? Should you open up your own meth lab?  In these troubling financial times it's hard to know just where your money will to the most work for you.  May I suggest forgoing the traditional investment options and instead bank your future on the beauty of plastic.

    Frank Kozik and Blackbook Toy are offering up preorders of his A Clockwork Carrot figure as we speak.  For about $120 US dollars you can become the proud owner of 11 inches of Japanese sofubi that one day down the road could help put your kids through college.  Ok, it probably won't, but at least you'll have something cool to leave them when they put you in a home.  

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Pop! Vinyl from Funko

     I've known about the guys for awhile as I was able to see the concept art for them back in February, but this is the first time I've glimpsed the final production pieces.  Funko continues to mine the depths of our nostalgia for their Pop! Vinyl figure series.  And who didn't love the TMNT?  You give any animal ninja weapons and you better build a vault for the cash that's gonna roll in.  Squirrels, dung beetles, tapeworms, you give em swords and I'm interested.  Pick up these guys when they're released June 6th.  

Oi! Cthulu from Daniel Yu x Mighty Jaxx

    I've actually been reading H.P. Lovecraft on my breaks at work, so is it strange that this toy is released at the same time that I began the book?  Have the planets aligned and the words of the Nekromonicon been spoken?  Are the Elder Gods returning to wipe mankind from the face of Earth?  It could happen.  What better way to stay safe from the wrath of this monstrosity than to purchase this figure and give it a place of prominence in your home.  

    Daniel Yu decided that Cthulu would probably be a huge fan of punk music.  How he came to this realization I'll never know, but I'm glad he did and that Mighty Jaxx was willing to capture it in 3D form.  Each of the 300 pieces is cast in resin and then hand painted.  If you buy it directly from Mighty Jaxx it will also come signed by the artist.  Get one now or risk eternal torment and stuff.    

Dead God Narcotic Custom Pollen Kaisers from Skinner

    I've got two old Pinky and the Brain vinyl toys laying around that could use a good sprucing up.  I bought them at the Goodwill for 50 cents apiece and they're kinda dirty to the point that I don't want to know what happened to them.  But I couldn't just leave them there for some little kid to let his dog chew on and then eventually end up in the landfill.  I was gonna paint them to look like they had formed a black metal band but the closest I got to that was putting them in the dishwasher and then leaving them on the kitchen counter, where they are still sitting.  Now if life had turned out differently, and I was blessed with more artistic ability and less with shampoo-commercial hair, then maybe I would make them look like this.

    Skinner is at it gain, painting up toys and offering them up to the hungry masses.  he could paint a Dora the Explorer doll and I would want to buy it, so it's no wonder I want these.  They started out as Pollen Kaisers from Paul Kaiju and were then transformed through paint and pot smoke into Dead God Narcotics.  You want it to tell you all its secrets?  You know it has some.  Well its gonna cost you $400 today at noon Pacific time to learn what black magic these guys could conjure up.   Be one of the lucky 4 people in the world to own one by going to http://shopcriticalhit.com/.