Mixed Parts SMD5 from Jeff Lamm x Unbox Industries Available Now!

    The MTV VMA's were on as I was writing this post.  Let me clarify, they weren't actually on MY tv at home, but supposedly they were on someone's, which makes me sad for them.  The only reason I even knew it was airing was because of those ridiculous commercials with Miley Cyrus and her tongue all hanging out, trying to be edgy, or whatever it is that mall kids aspire to be these days.  I wish someone would make clothing that she likes to wear so she can stop showing off her 13 year old boy's body like its something anyone wants to see that isn't already in jail for sex crimes.  Do they air MTV in prison?  They should make you watch it on death row so you stop appealing and start begging for the electric chair.

    I haven't watched the VMA's since Nirvana played on them.  And if you're like me and couldn't care less about who wore what on the red carpet or what dumb thing Kanye West did, you could instead focus your attention on securing one of these mixed parts SMD5 figures from Jeff Lamm and Unbox Industries.  What color combo will you get?  Who knows, cause that's a surprise, and it won't matter anyway cause the figure is so sick that they could make a color scheme called "scab" and it would still be awesome.  These are on sale right now and will be until September 6th or until supplies last.  Snag one for yourself or your favorite internet pseudo-celebrity (no, not Grumpy Cat) by going to http://store.unboxindustries.info. 

Ron English's Apocalypse Grin Dunny Coming Next Week From Kidrobot

    Living in New York must be nuts.  There's always people around, nothing ever seems quiet, and I don't know how anyone affords to buy food after paying their rent.  Seriously, how are all New Yorkers not holding telethons for people to feed them?  I can't even rent a closet in the city for what I pay for my town house.  One benefit of living in the city is you get to stumble upon amazing works of art just hanging out there on the side of a building. People that have insane gallery shows are just painting real estate like its no big deal.  The other day while Sharon and I were roaming around trying to get to Toy Tokyo we ran into a huge mural from Ron English.  While we didn't physically run into it even though we were dehydrated and sweating like some urban nomads in a foreign dessert, you would have thought we had never been anywhere before with our level of amazement.  Which, to divert slightly, we totally embraced our inner podunk Midwesterner when we went into a two-story Target in Brooklyn and were completely floored with the escalator for shopping carts.  Check out this jawn:  you're roaming around my on the first floor, getting all your essentials for domestic life when you realize there is a new Taylor Swift album you will die without, but alas, the electronics department is on the second floor.  Are you supposed to just abandon your cart full of Hot Pockets and tabloids and hope that someone won't pillage your future purchases?  Should you strap it on you back, channel your inner sherpa, and lug that 4 wheeled son of a gun up there?  Fear not, because carts have their own adjoining escalator which moves them effortlessly between floors.  I know, it's crazy right?  I wanted to take a video of it but I didn't want people to think I was adjusting beautifully despite my obvious mental deficiencies.  You get mistaken for simple once in your life and you never forget it.

     The point of all this was originally, I think anyway cause I can't be bothered to read all that again, is that I saw some crazy out of doors art from Ron English and we don't have that stuff where I live.  We have people that paint rude sayings on billboards, but that can hardly be considered art, especially when their vulgar diatribes are not grammatically correct.  You can bring some Ron English art INSIDE the house next week when Kidrobot releases this ballin Dunny.  There's the regular version, which is just a bigger rendition of his original 3 inch design, and there's that super clean white chase design at you're not gonna want your friends to get their dirty finger prints on.  Get one for yourself next Friday, September 4th, for $75 from www.kidrobot.com or wherever you like to buy your toys.
   

"Red Rub" Vertebrata from Paul Kaiju x Blobpus x Toy Art Gallery Lottery Details

    I love when people commit crimes using unconventional weapons.  One of my favorite stories of such an occurrence was when a man walked into a gas station near where I used to live, and robbed the place with a broom.  He cleaned out the cash register by brandishing an item used to clean the floor.  I never found out whether he got to the place and just winged his approach, or if he brought the thing with him as part of a well thought out plan.  The former I can understand, because he could have just had poor impulse control, but the latter is way more bizarre.  The guy looked around his house, was struck by a moment of divine inspiration, and drove with his weapon to make some quick cash from the Texaco.

    You may, in a few brief moments, notice that the above story has nothing to do with the toy you see there.   I had already typed this story out for a different post, but then that toy sold out and I thought it would be a waste to just delete what I had already written, so here it is.  One less story being sent to the landfill.

    The newest edition of Vertebrate from Paul Kaiju x Blobpus x Toy Art Gallery will be available via lottery submission starting today at noon pacific time.  You have until Monday at noon to enter for a chance o buy one of these freaky ladies.  Here's more info on the lottery:

The Vertebrata Red Rub Edition retails for $85 and will be released via email lottery starting on Wednesday, August 26th at 12PM PST and ending on Monday, Aug. 31st at 12PM PST. Email sales@toyartgallery.com with “Vertebrata Lottery” as the subject along with your paypal address and shipping info. If selected you will be sent an invoice for payment. Please allow 24 hours for a response after the closing time (Monday 12PM PST). Winners will be chosen at random, one entry per participant please (if you submit more than once you will be disqualified). Good luck!

   

The Next Installment of SWWF from Healeymade

    I am so pumped right now I want to go ring a random person's doorbell and DDT them on their front porch.  Sharon and I are going to Summerslam in Brooklyn this weekend and I have been super hyped about it for months but now that it's here I've go so much excitement built up inside me that I don't know how I will make it through today without powerbombing someone through a table or using uncontrolled run-on sentences.  The highlight for me is that I'm gonna get to see The Undertaker in person, which hasn't happened in a long time.  When I was a wee little Chris I got to go to a house show in Richmond, Virginia we walked up to the box office the day of the show and got seats right next to the barrier where the performers walk out.  I remember standing their in awe as The Undertaker made his way to the ring; by far the biggest person I had ever seen in my life let alone stood next to.  He was beyond human; something that couldn't have been something naturally occurring in this world, but something born purely of imagination.  Though I'm much older and much more knowledgable about how the world of professional wrestling works, that surreal feeling still comes back to me any time I go see it in person.  

    If you were to ask me how to create the perfect toy I would say you have to take things I love, mash them together, and let the results speak for themselves.  Well, I love Star Wars and I love WWE, so I would say Healeymade has either been rooting around in my brain or the man has some exquisite tastes.  This thing is beautiful in its genius and can be owned right now by checking out http://healeymade.com.  

Galamilk World of Isobelle Pascha Vampire Hunting Miyu and Lizbeth from 3A

    Women seem to dominate the world of vampire hunting for some reason.  While there may be inequality in other forms of employment, killing blood-sucking fiends has predominately been a field where men have had no place.  There are a few notable exceptions, like Blade or Van Helsing, but they are no match for their female counterparts.  I suppose if I were a vampire and someone was to drive a stake through my heart I'd rather it be some attractive woman than some sweaty dude.  Did the vampires form some sort of union and this was on their lists of demands? 

   Who cares about the particulars and let us just enjoy the fact that pretty ladies are keeping us safe from becoming slaves of the undead.  Miyu and Lizbeth from 3A are working hard to literally save your necks and look good while doing it.  Both of these figures are available right now from http://www.bambalandstore.com for $320 each.  Which may seem like a lot, until you realize that they stand 2 feet tall!  That's a lot of toy!And shipping is included in the price, so now your only decision is which one you like best.  I say get them both so one isn't lonely without the other.  This is something I legitimately think about.  

Want To Own Buffalo Bill's House from "Silence of the Lambs"? Now You Can!

    As you can tell from the past two days, I've ben on a real estate kick.  You need somewhere amazing to house your toy collection and I've finally found the perfect place.  On the market now, just south of Pittsburgh (which is the only drawback, really) is Buffalo Bill's house from Silence of the Lambs.  This place is beyond amazing you can see by checking out the listing here.  For $300,000 you can not only own a house that is part of movie making history, but you also get an in-ground pool with an old train caboose as a pool house!  Sadly, the infamous pit in the basement isn't there, as it was just something they created on a sound stage, but the house has enough space that you could make your captives put the lotion in the basket in one of four picturesque bedrooms, or perhaps even the winter parlor (I have no idea what that is, but I need it) or butler's pantry (just as clueless).  

Hello Clarice? More like hello victorian luxury!

Boomu Plush from 100% Soft

     This is how I want to die.  I want a giant, cuddly, kaiju kitten to rise from his home deep within a mountain and devour me with snuggles.  You can keep your "hails of gunfire" and your "blazes of glory" cause I'm going out to the sounds of monster kitty purrs thank you very much.

   

    If you don't love this Boomu plush from 100% Soft you are both wrong and a terrible person.  It is flawless in its adorableness and is ready to stomp its way into your heart (and your city, which is pretty much doomed).  This 8 inch tall plushy is available right now for only $20 from http://100soft.bigcartel.com.