Plush Labbit With Littons Coming Soon from Frank Kozik x Kidrobot

    Ahhhh the miracle of child birth.  Nothing in the animal kingdom is more beautiful, or at times horrifying, than new little critters being brought into this world.  When I was a wee little lad one of our dogs got loose and fell in with a bad crowd, returning home with shame written all over her face. A bit later she gave birth to puppies right on our front porch, essentially making the corner of it forever unclean and needing to be covered by a decorative bench.  I remember watching as each new doggie squeezed his way out of an impossible situation and plopped into the world covered in the most disturbing flavor of Jell-O one could imagine.  Then the mother proceeded to clean them off, which seemed very impractical to me being we had more than enough paper towels on hand and would have helped if she had only asked.  And where was the father you asked?  Completely absent from the picture!!!!!  He never took them to their tee ball games, or bothered sending checks.  Do you think puppies eat for free?  They surely don't.  

   I learned many lessons that day about life, but there are always new mysteries to uncover.  For instance did you know that like the seahorse, the male Labbit carries the young (known as Littons FYI) until they are ready to be adorable and then a magic zipper appears on his belly so they can spread their cuteness unto the world?  I just learned it today and I had to share it with you in case you were also in the dark about this phenomenon.  

    Frank Kozik and Kidrobot will be releasing this ultimate biology lesson sometime this month.  This 24 inch plush Labbit comes filled with 5 little babies that will make you smile and will make having that talk with your kids about reproduction a whole lot more interesting.  Keep your eyes peeled for when they are released on www.kidrobot.com and in stores around the world.  

Fumetsu Clear Coke Bottle Green Figures from Cop A Squat Toys

    If you ever needed glasses as a kid you know you were freaked out that you'd end up with thick lenses.  Nobody wants to be referred to as "Coke Bottles" but you know that it happened.  If it wasn't you then it was someone else whose ocular deficiencies were on display for public ridicule.  One day I'm gonna write a story about such a kid, teased mercilessly and asked whether or not he could see the future so many times that he just snaps and becomes this evil villain.  And as an evil villian, who used his crimes to save up for lasik surgery, he one day stumbles upon his childhood glasses and builds a giant death ray with the lenses.  He then spends the rest of his life burning up the people that tormented him like helpless little ants.  It's still a better love story than Twilight.

    Now the Coke Bottle look is desirable at last, albeit only as the color of some killer vinyl toys.  For instance these toys we just happen to have right here.  Cop A Squat Toys is about to drop some truth on you courtesy of Fumetsu!!!!!  There are two different sets of figures, with only five sets of each available. These will be $150 per set and there will also be some blank figures available at $70 each.  I know you want these and you're in luck, cause you can buy them today!!!  Six pm eastern is the time, www.copasquattoys.com is the place, and the rest is up to you.  Get on it!

Preorders Are Open for Brandt Peters x Zectron's "Camazotz" from Unbox Industries

    Do you really think I don't have a bat story?  Of course I have a bat story, and it goes a little something like this:

    When I was a teenager my family and I lived in a very old farmhouse complete with a barn and fields and such.  What also goes well with a very old farmhouse is a slew of uninvited guests that don't really give a crap whether you want them to live with you or not.  Most of us call those "relatives" but when you live in the middle of nowhere they usually involve species much different from you.  One morning my mother woke me up because she was screaming like OJ broke in.  I ran into the kitchen so I could give the police a good description of the assailant before I pleaded for my life and I see her backed into a corner and pointing at the window.  I looked over and the entire curtain rod, from end to end, was lined with bats.  They weren't any bigger than a mouse, but with rabies being an actual problem where I lived (I've even had my shots, which hurt like a mother) the little critters are cute but do pose a danger.  We closed the kitchen off and waited for them to fly back into the attic through the previously unnoticed hole in the plaster and then went about our day.  It was almost as exciting as the time I caught the same snake in my apartment on two different occasions.  But I digress.

      I have no idea where the name Camazotz comes from, but I know this bat dude from Brandt Peters and Zectron is amazing.  Standing at 10 inches tall, this vinyl beauty produced by Unbox Industries is available for preorder right now in two different color schemes at $85 each.  Secure one for yourself by visiting http://store.unboxindustries.info.  

The Atomic Nosferatu Night Gamer from Plaseebo

    Oh lord, you better have a priest on speed dial if you let this dude in your house.  Plaseebo is known for making creatures that would induce nightmares in the toughest of folks, but this guy has taken that idea and cranked it to 11.  Is it those freaky eyes, or is it those sharp flesh-rendering teeth that look like they could pick your bones clean with disturbing efficiency?  On second though forget the priest and go get your gun permit because no amount of holy water could stop this dude from what he has in mind.

    Are you brave enough to live in the same place as this guy?  If your intestinal fortitude is rock solid then you could welcome him home when he goes on sale Friday, January 29th only from www.plaseebo.net.

"Here's your new night light Timmy."

Nathan Jurevicius Presents The Nightriders Mini Series from Kidrobot

    There are mysterious goings on in the dead of night, and I'm not just talking about that family of raccoons who have been treating your trash cans like a casino buffet.  I'm talking about more mystical happenings involving otherworldly creatures who are not in fact interested in pillaging your mom’s green bean casserole.  These are the Nightriders, a group of bird spirits that can travel between worlds as they carry with them information of things unseen.  See, even when you think no one is all up in your business your secrets are still not safe.  If they weren't so dang cute I would be at the store right now buying aluminum foil to cover all my windows and make hats out of to confuse their secret-gathering methods.

    Will they reveal all of their otherworldly knowledge to you?  There’s only one way to find out when these critters from Nathan Jurevicius are released.  Featuring a mixture of Dunny and Munnyworld figures, this blind boxed mini series is beautiful in its simplicity.  And each figure comes with a bonus, stackable owl companion!  Now you can finally realize your dream of having a stackable owl companion named Felix who solves riddles and collects magic-infused gemstones..  That's kind of a weird dream to have when you think about it.

    These will be available starting Friday, January 29th on www.kidrobot.com and wherever you prefer to buy your designer toys.

Micro Busters Wave 1 from Playful Gorilla x Dads Cartoons

    You know the mashup we haven't seen yet that the world surely needs?  A combo of Iron Man's Hulk Buster and The Iron Shiek, who put Hulk Hogan in the Camel Clutch, broke his back, and made him humble.  I'm just throwing that out there for you resin guys to make happen, just don't forget to give me credit or I will suplex you to death.  I don't know how many suplexes it takes to kill a man, but don't make me find out!

    Back to business.  How friggin cute are these Micro Busters?  Usually everyone who made figures of this dude made him gigantic, but look how awesome he looks with his big ol head in miniature.  I love these so much I'm gonna go ahead and say they are my favorite tribute piece to the Avengers films that I have ever seen.  Go ahead and write that down in your book of feelings cause I said it!  There are 6 different colorways in this collaborative resin figure from Playful Gorilla and Dads Cartoons.  Each figure stands a little under 2 inches tall and will be only $20 including free worldwide shipping.  Free worldwide shipping?  They're accountants must be losing their minds right now!  They will only be available from http://playfulgorilla.storenvy.com starting Friday, January 29th.

New Releases from doubleparlour this Friday

     As you might have guessed by now, I didn't win the Powerball.  Believe me you would have heard about it if I did, because I had an epic way that I was gonna quit my job.  Not that I dislike my job at all, but I feel if you are a newly declared billionaire there are certain expectations you have to live up to.  One of which is to quit your place of employment in the most epic way possible.  So this was my plan:  I was going to buy a brand new Aston-Martin, carve my letter of resignation on the hood with a hunting knife, and drive that sucker straight through the front door.  I would then get in my newer Aston-Martin that I had delivered there and drive away laughing.  But I'm not all bad, cause I would leave the title to the wrecked one along with enough cash to fix all the damage to the car and business on the front seat.  I think that would make the news.

   I would do good stuff with the money too, like donate most of it to help save all the little critters of the world (except the Kardashians) and have a standing order placed with doubleparlour.  That way I could have one of everything they make for the rest of my life because every new release makes me fall in love with their work all over again.  And I would also have the best mail days ever when they arrived, which is something that could never get old.  You can add new stuff to your collection when they put everything you see here on sale Friday, January 29th, at noon pacific time only through http://doubleparlour.myshopify.com.