It's a New Week So That Means New Toys from Super7

      Super7 is way more reliable with their toy releases than my wife's car is with functioning like a feasible mode of transportation.  Damn thing broke down and cost more than I want to relive right now.  I am currently accepting paid appointments to come over and have my cats scratch and bloodlet you for health.  The safe word is "bananas".

    Two new releases are going down on Thursday, March 31st in the form of Leecifer's Honoo in clear vinyl and the very cute yet more than slightly creepy Drunk Seijin.  Each on will be $35 when they go on sale starting at noon pacific time from www.super7store.com and their retail locations.

Tiki Geekwok from UME Toys

   I've been thinking I need a new hobby for my days off other than being depressed.  While it sounds like the greatest to my teenage inner self, I could be out there having more fun at the expense of others, which is the best kind of happiness.  So I've been inspired by this toy to carve bizarre wooden idols and place them randomly along the side of the road.  I basically just want to start a panic that pagans have moved into the area and may or may not be trying to unravel the moral fiber of the citizens.  This would probably work better if I didn't live in New Jersey, because everyone here is a Godless heathen who are too jaded to be truly effected by my artistic endeavor.  Back to depression it is!

    I'm just kidding of course.  About being depressed, not the people of New Jersey.  I stand by that.  UME Toys is about to unleash the newest incarnation of his GeekWok figure, this time in tiki form.  Add some cuteness to your collection when these drop on April 8th at 9pm London time, which I love to type cause it feels so fancy!  These will only be available through http://umetoys.bigcartel.com.

"Sunshine Yellow" Bloodthirst from Brent Nolasco x Toy Art Gallery

    This is why you never eat undercooked pork.  Forget Freddy or Jason, those dudes aren't scary; parasites dying in your brain tissue is scary.  My behavior is already erratic and doesn't need any help from rotting little critters in my frontal lobe.  Not to mention what they do before they die.  Now I won't be able to sleep.

    Brent Nolasco's Bloodthirst looks all innocent in this bright yellow color way, but don't let his sunny disposition fool you.  He's out for your bloodiest of tissues.  Toy Art Gallery is unleashing him into,the water supply on Wednesday, March 30th at noon pacific time.  Get him only at www.toyartgallery.com

threezero Present Pinhead from Hellraiser III Hell on Earth

    This is Pinhead, who quite frankly is one of the freakiest looking things on the planet.  My wife and I used to go to horror conventions a lot when we first started dating and one of the people we met was Doug Bradley, the actor underneath all the makeup and roofing nails.  He's the nicest unassuming British guy who you never would suspect would be the face of terror for children and adults all over the world.  It's always interesting to meet the people that play such characters because then you realize how much talent they actually have in turning themselves from everyday dude in sociopathic otherworldly murderer.  Either that or they're really good at hiding how twisted they actually are, which could be a good premise for a horror movie itself. 

   Ol Pinhead's looking a little too realistic in this figure from threezero.  This 1/6th scale figure is the first in a line of Horror Movie Heritage collectibles, so you're not going to want to miss this debut.  He's up for preorder right now on http://www.threezerostore.com and he comes with interchangeable hands, the infamous puzzle box, and enough sleepless nights to usher you into madness.  

The Weird Ways In Which People Find This Website

    The Google search phrase of the day kiddos is "action figure bondage".  Yup, someone stumbled upon my humble website by searching for that term.  One of you out there has a strange hobby.  

The Blacksmith Resin Figure from Jon-Paul Kaiser

    Is there any profession that's more manly than being a blacksmith?  You bend metal to your will to make implements of death, like swords and axes, and its pretty much mandatory that you grow a killer beard that somehow is fireproof just out of respect.  I couldn't do it though, cause I'm a big fan of air conditioning, which seems like an impossibility when your surrounded by furnaces.  Modern luxuries have ruined me.

    The preorder window for Jon-Paul Kaiser's latest resin creation is now open for a mere 48 hours.  Visit http://jonpaulkaiser.bigcartel.com and live your medieval dreams vicariously through this 4 inch tall hand painted figure.

Marbled Cadaver Kids and Mecha Brain Cadaver Kids from Splurrt x Lulubell Toys

    Look at those swirley butts!!!  I don't even have to see the rest of their little bodies to know that I want these toys.  I guess it helps that I already know what they look like, so that does take some of the risk out of it and allows me to be way more confident in my assertion.  And you already know I get those special feelings just thinking about marbled vinyl, which is like the premium roast beef of plastics.

    Grody Shogun has bestowed his marbling wizardry on these Cadaver Kids and Mech Brain Cadaver Kids from Splurrt and they will be made exclusively through Lulubell Toys on Saturday, March 26.  They will be $50 and $55 respectively and you can buy up to three of each type.  They drop at noon pacific time at http://www.lulubelltoys.com.