Stuffed 3 Inch Dunny Preorder from The Angry Artist

    Raw chicken and turkey are about the grossest things on the entire planet and I refuse to touch either.  I won't even touch it while it's safely wrapped in the package, that's how much I hate it.  I love it once it's cooked, but until that point I want to have absolutely no interaction with it.  If you have a venomous snake loose in your house, or if you need a someone to take a look at the dead thing you found feel free to call me.  But if your problem involves uncooked poultry I am not the man for the job and I feel no shame in telling you so.  

   The above paragraph has probably done its job in letting you know that I am no expert when it comes to preparing a bird, but I'm pretty sure I've never seen anyone season a turkey like this.  I haven't watched the Food Network in some time and it may be a new technique, but I feel comfortable in stating that there has to be a better way.  The Angry Artist has opened up preorders now for a run of custom Dunny's that have gotten a little too involved in the Thanksgiving festivities. There's always one in every family who just takes things over the edge (I'm looking at you, Uncle Ted).  They're limited to only 10 pieces and available for preorder right now at http://angryartist.storenvy.com.  

Vinyl Kittypillar Preorders from Casey Weldon x 3A

    I find it rather impossible to successfully clip my cat's nails and then I take them to the vet and the girls there are like the Lebron James of kitty claws and practically do it with their eyes closed.  Big chunks of talons go flying in the air and I can be nothing but impressed because I only manage to get a teensy bit clipped before they freak out and try to main me. Then they inevitably proceed to go to the stair or the couch and demonstrate how ineffective a job I did.  Little sociopaths. 

    Thank goodness Kittypillars aren't real, because for one I would need a house full and for two, that's a lot of extra nails to render your belongings worthless.  This toy is based on a series of paintings by Casey Weldon and has been brought into plastic being by 3A.  I saw the prototype at New York Comic Con and it is a thing of beauty to say the least.  There are two different versions up for preorder right now at http://www.bambalandstore.com and for $89 each they include free world wide shipping.  That's a damn bargain for something that will make you smile every time you look at it.  You sure can't say that about much.  

The Backpack from Alex Pardee X Mighty Jaxx

    I have a cat named Jorah who likes to pounce on you and ride around on your shoulders when you aren't paying attention.  If you're lucky he jumps from somewhere high and lands squarely and sure footed.  If you're less lucky he will scale the back of your legs until he reaches his destination, leaving you with a trail of seeping claw marks along the way.  Sometimes I wonder if he sees himself as an evil genius a la Krang and I am just his monkey that he uses to do his bidding because I am taller and can reach the stuff he wants.  Sometimes I wonder if I overthink things.

    At least Jorah has never looked like he was going to bite my skull cap off.  Not like I would know anyway because we don't have room on our walls for silly things like mirrors, but this duo from Alex Pardee and Mighty Jaxx really puts his antics into perspective.  And their symbiotic relationship is still healthier than anything that's ever been on Dr. Phil.  Only 200 of these best pals were made and they are available right now for $120 at http://mightyjaxx.rocks.

   

1/6th Scale Michael Myers Figure from threezero

    Look, it's everyone's favorite murderous mute Mr. Michael Myers!  That was some crazy alliteration there, even by my standards.   I always dug the original Halloween and I liked the Rob Zombie versions too because they seemed plausible and that's what makes them scary.  Well, plausible in the fact that the dude escaped a mental institution and wants to kill all of his relatives, not so much in the fact that he can take six bullets to the chest and be totally cool with it.  You can only suspend disbelief to a certain point.  

   Not since William Shatner has anyone made a William Shatner mask look so frightening though, and threezero perfectly capture that in their latest 1/6th scale figure.  Look at those dead eyes staring right through you.  It's freaky.  And he comes with fun stabbing accessories which I'm sure you could put to good use on your sister's old Barbie collection.  Preorder him right now from http://www.threezerostore.com for $150 US dollars and get free shipping!  Just make sure you're alone when you open the box in case you scream cause I wouldn't want you to have to live with that shame the rest of your life.  

Halloween Honoo Cutie DX from Leecifer

    I have some advice from my youth for all you pyromaniacs out there:  don't stand too close to an open flame when you've just discovered grunge and insist on only wearing jeans that you strategically ripped.  See, cotton burns quick, and no matter how awesome those frayed knee holes are, you don't look like Eddie Vedder when you have to tear them from your body to prevent a stay in the burn ward.  And surprisingly, your teenage crush won't be sympathetic as you dance around in your tighty whiteys trying to stomp out the flames.  I've said too much.

     Honoo would never do you dirty like that though, cause while he may be his own disco inferno, he's always got your back.  This happy resin campfire from Leecifer is available right now in  limited edition of 10 pieces by visiting http://www.leecifer.com.  Add some heat to your toy shelf without the risk of a four alarm disaster.

"Hallowroot" Edition Mandrake Root from Doktor A x Toy Art Gallery

    The real mandrake root that this toy is based on is shaped like a little person and will supposedly make you trip until that band Phish is listenable.  I don't know why anyone would want to lose control to the point they're enjoying jam bands and I sure as hell wouldn't eat some human shaped yam for dinner, so the mandrake root really has no place in my life.  Plus, they don't sell it at Wal-Mart so I wouldn't even know where to get one.

    Halloween is the best time for toy releases because everything is guaranteed to be in a color scheme I like.  For example, this toy right here from Doktor A and Toy Art Gallery.  He's decked out in a perfect paint application for the season and he even comes with a little friend to do his bidding/grocery shopping.  What does an evil yam buy at the grocery store anyway?  Root shaped people?  Did this just turn into a Twilight Zone episode?  And speaking of the Twilight Zone, how come every time they air one of those marathons I only see the same ones over and over again?  There's a trillion episodes and no matter when I turn it on it's William Shatner freaking out on the plane because there's a diseased monkey on the wing.  Am I in the Twilight Zone while watching the Twilight Zone?  It makes my head hurt just thinking about it.

    You can pick this guy up beginning Friday, October 28th at noon pacific time from www.toyartgallery.com.

Halloween Tumble Tops from Inami Toys

    You could go out the day before Halloween on Devil's Night and release all your suburban aggression by hitting mailboxes with baseball bats or throwing perfectly good toilet paper into people's trees.  Or you could take the civilized route and stay home with your heathen friends, talk about whatever you're currently watching on the old tv (I hope it's Westworld) and play some parlor games that invoke simpler; less Purge-like times.  Enter Tumble Tops.  That was sooooo smooth you might of thought I was Billy Dee Williams. I get that a lot.

    Inami Toys has returned with his resin rock, paper, scissors game pieces that you can use with your friends or by yourself if you're more of a recluse.  They come blind bagged and feature three different designs with special marbled chase pieces mixed in.  Pick a few up when they go on sale today, October 27th at 9pm eastern time from www.inamitoys.com.