The Woodcutter from Pocket Watch Toys

    This right here is an invention that could change the world.  Forget all that stuff about robots taking over the world and enslaving mankind because a wood stove that can follow you around and keep you warm would probably win the Nobel prize or whatever it is they give you for being a genius.  You could take him everywhere with you, like when you're waiting in line to buy the next iPhone, or if someone thinks it would be a great idea to take a walk through the woods when it's forty degrees out and you both end up covered in snot and unable to feel your legs (I said I was sorry).  And if you were to use him in the house all you would have to do would be to have stove pipe hookups in every room so the smoke could safely escape.  See, I'm already making design improvements so I'm obviously now a partner in this venture.  Send me my check.

    Pocket Watch Toys is the creator of this little resin guy who is ready to keep you toasty no matter what the conditions.  Even during the height of summer, which is something you'll have to talk with him about because he gets kinda bummed and feels like he's not fulfilling his potential.  Just show him where the dishwasher is and give him a new purpose until it gets cold again. Or stop worrying about the feelings of an inanimate object because right now he is just a toy and merely a promise of how awesome the robot revolution will be.

    Pick one up for yourself and start dreaming about endless coziness from http://pocketwatchtoys.co.uk.

Rusty Blue RST2 from DMS

   No the title of this post is not written in a code that Donald Trump's minions can't read.  Though hopefully by saying that I end up on some watch list and my readership increases due to the FBI traffic.  I think they would find me delightful.

   This is the second version of the RST2 robot dude from DMS.  He's looking kinda blue and kinda rusty, but space travel is hard on a droid.  You can give him a new leisure filled life by welcoming him into your home when he goes on sale later today.  This little guy is limited to 15 pieces and can be yours at 7:30 gmt from www.dmsdesignertoys.com.

Andy Warhol Masterpiece Dunny from Kidrobot

   Contrary to what you may think, I don't have professional athlete type money laying around.  I know right, shocks me too.  You would think that making jokes on the internet would be a limo ride down easy street, but America is a backwards place that rewards the wrong sort of people.  I don't dwell on it though, as I've learned to adapt to still make my house look like someone with a lot of money and neurological disorders lives there.

   Kidrobot is making easy to be a baller on a budget with this beautiful Masterpiece  eight inch Dunny from Andy Warhol.  This is the first of a few of these and they're kicking things off with his Brillo motif.  It comes packaged in a special window box so you can keep it minty fresh without having to deprive yourself of its magnificence, is limited to 500 pieces galaxy wide, and will be available starting today (Friday, January 27th) from www.kidrobot.com.

New Apparel from Splurrt x BogxSquad

    I used to work at a clothing store and the dangerous thing about it was that over time the t-shirts would start looking better and better to me.  Stuff I would normally never buy would after a month or so wear me down especially when I thought about how much of a discount I was getting on them.  The moral of the story is try and work somewhere that you have zero interest in the product or risk having a basement full of crap that you can't even remember liking.  People at the sewage treatment plant don't have this problem.

    Now these are the type of shirts I would wear until the graphic was barely hanging on.  Splurrt and BogxSquad have collaborated on a limited release of two shirts and a trucker hat featuring his menacing Cinema Monster.  Each one is a limited edition of 30 and can be obtained from http://bogsquad.bigcartel.com.  

    You can also pick up a BogxSquad's latest "Kaiju Space Death" tee, which sounds like a really awesome Japanese death metal David Bowie cover band.  I wish that were a real thing.

"Waiting for My J Man" Harley Quinn Statue from Mondo

    Look how beautiful this is.  If you didn't know better you would think that it's just a cute girl into dressing like a weirdo and listening to her records with nothing but possibility in her eyes.  The world is hers and she is gonna live life to it's fullest, with nothing standing in her way.  But instead you know it's everyone's favorite sociopath, waiting for her equally psychotic boyfriend to come home.  You'd also know that because this statue is titled "Waiting for My J Man", which kind of gave it all away right there.  

    Harley Quinn has never looked so fetching as she does in this work from Mondo.  Just look at that face:

    She sure is puuuuuurrty and she's available for preorder right now in two different forms.  The first one is $250 and is identical to the one you see at the top there.  The second one is a mere $10 more and features a collection of records that you can scatter about her as you wish.  Standing (or sitting) at nearly 10 inches tall, she can be yours by visiting https://mondotees.com.

    

Halcon Falcon Series 4 from Argonaut Resins

    I don't get how falconry works.  From what it looks like you just have to get a big leather glove, stand on top of a hill with your arm outstretched, and wait for a bird of prey to land on you.  Then you put a little mask on him while the bird is all "crap, I can't believe I fell for that after making fun of Mitch for the same thing."  Then you have an awesome falcon that is bonded to you for life and is sworn to do your bidding.  Think of the hijinks that will ensue!  Of course I could have just done a a Google search to learn about how it works but for one, I like the way I presented it better and two, the Internet is filled with those alternative facts and I'm not looking to be made a fool.

    The bird is indeed the word when Argonaut Resins releases series 4 of his Halcon Falcon resin figures tonight.  There's 10 different ones, they each stand nearly 3 inches tall, and they go on sale Tuesday, January 24th at 9pm eastern time only at http://argonautresins.bigcartel.com.

Unicorn Kiss from Lora Zombie x Eyes on Walls

 

    Sometimes I look at deer with their huge antlers and I wonder if they feel frustrated by having such things protrude from their skull.  I can't walk though the woods without getting hit in the face with a branch or having to turn abruptly to investigate a strange noise behind me, so imagine doing that with the equivalent of a chandelier on your head.  As cool as they look it just seems like they would bang into everything and things would constantly get stuck to them.  If unicorns were real that horn would probably get old just as fast.  They'd have to get each other to help remove all the stuff they skewered throughout the day.  This post has suddenly taken a dark turn.

   If unicorns were real they would placate their horn issue by kissing, like, all the time.  Seriously, Lisa Frank never prepared you with her neon notebook covers for how much tongue action these things require.  They kiss all day, they kiss all night, they kiss during family functions and other times where you think they maybe should just give it a rest.  A little conversation never killed anybody, guys.

   Lora Zombie and Eyes on Walls are pleased to release her first ever vinyl toy, appropriately titled Unicorn Kisses.  They come in four different colors, stand five inches tall, and are available right now for $25 each or as a set for $95 including a free sticker.  Get em all and let the whimsical love fest begin!  Whimsical Love Fest was the name of my first black metal band in high school, by the way.

Get em at https://www.eyesonwalls.com.