Mega Construx Labbit from Frank Kozik x Mattel Creations

 

    My cat Wednesday has decided in the past two weeks that she would start sitting in my lap.  I was completely charmed, as I have been her caretaker for eleven years and she has never done this.  Then I remembered reading about a cat in a nursing home that used to go around sitting on all the people right before they died.  The cat was completely accurate in predicting who was next to cross over; either as some grand gesture of comfort at that person's time of need or as a way to exploit his psychic abilities to win cash from the staff.  So of course now I'm worried that my demise is imminent because this is 2020 and that is in no way the most irrational thought I've had this year.  I will not be sharing with you what currently holds that number one position.  

    While I sit here and wait to become a corpse I could pass my time putting together one of these new Mega Construx Labbits.  Frank Kozik's creation has had a lot of different iterations over the years, but never one that required so much involvement from collectors.  Now you can be a small part of the history of the Labbit by building your own, which I'm sure will turn out way differently than anything you've ever attempted to build from IKEA.  The joy I felt when I finally broke apart our entertainment center and threw it in a dumpster should be bottled and sold on every corner in America.  

    This construction set was designed and produced by the toy geniuses from Mattel Creations and will be available beginning today (Friday, November 13th) at noon eastern time only at https://creations.mattel.com/.

20 Million Miles to Earth Ymir Sofubi from Justin Ishmael

 

   The work of Ray Harryhausen has entranced me since the first time I saw Clash of the Titans.  One of my favorite films of all time, and probably the reason I'm so obsessed with monsters, the stop motion animation brought Greek mythology to life in a way that no one has done since.  Once I figured out who it was that was responsible for those amazing creatures I had to see everything else he made and his films are some of the very few that I can watch over and over without getting tired of them.   

    Now thanks to Justin Ismael, it's like seeing these insane creations all over again. Cast in glorious sofubi by Science Patrol, Justin's latest offering is Ymir, the star of 20 Million Miles to Earth.  He is available for preorder in two different colorways with or without his baby companion.  Expand your Harryhausen collection by visiting https://www.justinishmael.com.

    

Rand and Nance Action Figures from Middle Class Fancy

    When I'm up at five in the morning to feed my cats and prevent the one with dietary restrictions from eating food she shouldn't, there's nothing I'd rather do then scroll the hilarity that is Middle Class Fancy.  A celebration of suburban mediocrity,  their Instagram account has brought a healthy dose of joy to my life while providing a blueprint of phrases and behaviors to avoid like the plague.  Yeah, ok, who hasn't said "looks like we got here just in time" when the Chili's gets really busy right after you're seated. And after the meal, don't act like you haven't also asked your date whether they were "ready to rock and roll", implying that while this part of the night may be over, the chardonnay is just kicking in and you remember she brought home a little something racy from her last trip to TJ Maxx.  Rock and roll indeed.  

    Rand and Nance are the quintessential married couple whose shenanigans play out in countless memes and now they have been immortalized in action figure form.  You can buy them individually, or buy them together and save a couple of bucks to put towards your next pair of New Balance.  Get yours at https://middleclassfancy.com/.

The Nameless Beast "Witching Hour" Edition from John Kenn Mortensen x Unbox Industries

     

    The beast that plagues our world right now is far from nameless, and I hope with all of my being that he will be a thing of our ugly past very soon.  If you're an American and can vote please do it so we can all go back to fully appreciating fictional monsters the way God intended and stop being kept awake at night by the one's running our country.  

   John Kenn Mortensen's work with Unbox Industries has produced some of my favorite toy releases in the past few years.  They are freakier than anything my overactive imagination could have come up with as a kid when I heard noises outside of my window.  Had I thought The Nameless Beast was lurking within striking distance I would have given up hope of ever being old enough to experience the joys of arthritis.  

   This latest version is known as the Witching Hour edition and will be released this Saturday, which also just happened to be Halloween.  It's like they planned it that way or something.  Invite the monsters in starting at 11am eastern time only from store.unboxindustries.info.

Shin-Cookiezilla from Gabriel Marquez x Bottleneck Gallery

 

    This story has absolutely nothing to do with this figure, but that's not going to stop me from telling it anyway.  Yesterday, my wife and I went to the zoo for the first time in what felt like forever.  The weather was warm but not too hot, which meant the animals were fairly active.  When we first arrived we saw a squirrel bury an acorn in an enclosure with a few monkeys, who seemed completely unbothered by his presence. My wife turns to me and asks "I wonder if they hide food in the dangerous animal's cages or if they're smart enough to know better?" A short time later, a snow leopard would answer her question.

      The large cat had been asleep when we walked away from it and we wouldnt have turned around if the fence hadn't started to violently shake.  We walked back to see the snow leopard with the limp body of a squirrel hanging from its mouth.  It was horrific and fascinating all at the same time, because they certainly are fed plenty by the zoo, but that one misstep into its territory triggered its hunting instinct so quickly.  If there is to be a funny part to the story, which I'm sure you're waiting for, it would have to be the fact that the cat then paraded all around its enclosure with its trophy, including right up to the plexiglass window where a row of small children stood ready to be traumatized.  I can neither confirm nor deny that I laughed just a little when they screamed.  

    Speaking of screaming, if I were not a more reserved person I would have certainly screamed out loud at how genius this Shin-Cookiezilla sculpture is.  Grover's face on its tail is what sold me on this work from Gabriel Marquez, who will be releasing his monstrosity with Bottleneck Gallery today at noon.  Standing over 11 inches tall and made of hand painted resin, there will be 400 pieces of the blue version and only 100 of the red.  Priced at $100 and $125 respectively (which is a really good deal for the size), you can order one for your favorite toy blogger today (Thursday. October 22) at noon easter time by visiting https://bottleneckgallery.com.

Mailing List Exclusive Space Monkey from Dalek x UVD Toys

 

    Being that we are knee deep in spooky season, it is fitting that the next Space Monkey release from Dalek and UVD Toys requires some super secret arcane knowledge to obtain it.  Now that doesn't mean you need to hop in your car and find the nearest occult bookshop, because all you have to do is sign up for the UVD Toys mailing list.  Then when the figure is released tomorrow (Tuesday, October 13) all you can use the special access code they send you to get one of these figures.  You could try using a Ouija board if you want, but I can assure you your property value will suffer if you accidentally cause a haunting. 

    Sign up before 11:45am est tomorrow by visiting www.uvdtoys.com. 

Tenacious Toys NYCC Exclusives Available Now

 

     The idea of actually attending a convention and being in a crowd of wall to wall people seems way less appealing than dental surgery to me right now.  New York Comic Con was a yearly tradition for my wife and I but thankfully it was cancelled this year in an effort to keep everyone healthy.  Well, it's not cancelled cancelled, as they've moved the festivities online.  Tenacious Toys has a virtual booth at this year's iteration and they're exclusives are available right now.  You can get all the treasures you want without waiting in line, or eating weird convention food, of playing "guess who or what just created that smell."  Check out the pics and get yourself something nice at www.tenacioustoys.com You deserve it.