The Debut of Lord Mastomar from Wonder Goblin

   

    Do you spend your days trying to picture what the children of fictional beings would look like? Don't act like that's weird, especially when there are people out there actually interested in billionaires going to space.  I'd be more into it if they paid their employees a living wage, or eradicated homelessness or ended world hunger, but I've been told my lofty expectations will often lead to disappointment, so that's where we are with that.  

   So I started this off talking about weird couplings and their offspring and I can assure you that no matter who I would have put together, Cthulhu and Baphomet were not on the list.  Mikhail Gorbachev and Heidi Klum? That's a different, grotesque, story.

    Wonder Goblin's Lord Mastomar has adopted a very familiar pose as he sits on the bottom of the ocean floor dreaming. He is ready to now plant his behind on your shelf and judge you from a much closer proximity, but only if the fates comply.  To own this 9 inch sofubi dream boat, you are going to have to enter and win a lottery.  Begining this Saturday at noon eastern time, you can enter to purchase this debut edition, which is cast in black and glow in the dark marbled vinyl and features six points of articulation.  Visit https://www.wondergoblin.com/ to enter.  

Maneki-Astro Preorder from DoomCo Designs

  

    Astro Boy is looking like he might be trying to trick my wife and I into adopting him.  We have five cats now, which immeadiately after telling someone that I feel its important to add that we did not wake up one day and decide that was the number for us. Remember in Clash of the Titans when Perseus was walking around the amphitheatre and all the gods had left gifts for him to find? That's how we ended up with five cats.  I'm not sure how they will help us slay the Kraken at some future date, but I'm here for the surprise.

    I love seeing licensed toys presented in a new way and DoomCo Designs has certainly done that with this Maneki-Astro.  This five and a half inch vinyl figure is a fully legit Astro Boy collectible that is currently being produced right now by Squibbles Ink.  Created in virtual reality (which is often better than actual reality) you can preorder this little cutie now by visiting https://www.doomcodesigns.com/.

Tikumo: Super Tiki Sumo Sofubi from Gerald Okamura

     

     I've had a few nicknames in my life, but none of them have ever been as cool as  "Man of Many Weapons."  In fact not many of them are fit to print, but if I were to come up with some that are relevant to my life they would probably be along the lines of:

Man of Many Cats

Man Who Burns Easily in the Sun

Man of Gastrointestinal Distress 

Man who is Leary of Many Foods

   Based on this list, I am not nearly the badass that Gerald Okamura is. While I may be more suited to a life of observational humor and feline restroom maintenance, one thing Gerald and I have in common is our love of toys. And he loves them so much he decided to start making his own.  This Friday will mark the debut release of his new Japanese sofubi figure, Tikumo the Super Sumo Tiki.  Each four and a half inch figure has been painted by Mark Nagata in a limited run of just fifteen pieces.  They will be available on July 9th at 6pm eastern time exclusively from https://geraldokamura.com/.

The Billy Bloom from doubleparlour x Kyle Kirwan

 

  

      Next time there's a global pandemic the leaders of the world need to do two things differently: For one they need to start at the first press conference by saying that the virus causes erectile dysfunction.  There wont be a man on Earth not wearing a mask, covered by a motorcycle helmet, with a can of Lysol in each hand.  Trust me, its science.  The second thing is that no matter what the virus actually looks like under a microscope, they need to show a picture of this figure.  Anyone whose pee pee isn't directly threatened will in no way shape or form want this little vampire gremlin running amok in their blood stream.  Both of these ideas prove my value to the illuminati or whoever it is that actually runs this place, and I will be expecting my offer of employment to arrive any minute.  I will not be taking questions at this time. 

    Kyle Kirwan's Bloom sculpture has never looked more aggressive thanks to the talents of husband and wife duo, doubleparlour.  This murderous little imp is cast in resin, hand painted, and comes in two different colorways.  The pink is limited to 13 pieces, while the green is even rarer at only 12.  They will be $40 each when they are released this Friday, July 2 at 11am eastern time exclusively at https://www.kylekirwan.com/.

El-Chupacabra Vinyl Figure from Weston Brownlee x Tenacious Toys

    

    I know that Chupacabra translates to something really horrible and I know that the creature is not taking this goat to go and feed it a bottle, so let's just get that out of the way right now.  However, I choose to believe that El-Chupacabra is just an over enthusiastic visitor to the petting zoo and is hugging his favorite critter one last time before he leaves to get ice cream.  It's all about perception and whatever you can trick yourself into believing.  If he decides to change his diet and start sucking the blood from dismembered bits of human beings I'm totally ok with discussing that in gory detail, but goats are friends, not food.  My therapist will be proud that I'm able to set such boundaries.

    Tenacious Toys and Weston Brownlee are proud to present the debut figure from their Cryptozoo-fubi line, the aforementioned Chupacabra.  Living in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey I am well versed in the world of cryptids as one of the most famous of all time, the Jersey Devil, also makes his home here.  Do you think they ever get together, like once a summer with all the other cryptids just to reminisce and see how the others are doing? Then they all complain how Mothman stopped showing up cause he's married and had kids and started working in an Amazon fulfillment center part time.  I'd watch that show.

     Produced by Mile High Sofubi right here in America, each vinyl toy stands six inches tall and will be available in two different versions.  There's the fully painted edition for $65 (limited to 40 pieces) and a super limited run of only 10 pieces in blank green for   $40 each.  They'll be available starting Monday, June 21st, at noon eastern time exclusively from www.tenacioustoys.com.

Skull Dangler Sofubi Debut from DuBoseArt

 

    Is there anything more metal in the world than a creature made entirely of skulls?  Every bit composed of various sized craniums: from muscles to bone to tiny little skulls in his blood.  I imagine DuBose Art's Skull Dangler having graced the cover of an obscure German heavy metal band who, desperate to try and achieve superstardom, turn to a book of Arcane knowledge.  A few mispronunciations later, and this dude climbs out of their album and devours everyone in the group, adding their skulls to his body.  With ideas like this I cannot believe Netflix won't return my emails.  

    This is the first ever vinyl figure from DuBose,, who until now has honed his craft almost exclusively in resin.  He stands eight inches tall and features a handful of optional removable heads to completely change up his personality/blend in when the inevitable manhunt starts to thwart his  reign of terror.  

    The preorder is happening now for the glow in the dark version of this figure.  A blue version is pictured above in an effort to show you all of the gory details.  Pick one up at https://duboseart.com/.

Biting Vase Preorder from Josh Divine

 

     And now for something completely different.  You may know Josh Divine from having his own production Dunnys, or from his uber popular crash figures that face plant well known pop culture characters.  But no one that I've ever known that enjoyed making things wanted to make just one type of thing, so while I didn't expect him to tackle the world of floral display, I can completely understand it.  And after all, designer toys are pretty much a form of home decor, so it's not that much of a stretch.  If he had decided to create artisanal sausage or his own line of natural deodorants, then that might have made me pause a bit.  Especially if they turned out to not be separate products.

     This is the Biting Vase, and as you can see from the picture above, the name is self explanatory.  Stephen King has made a living writing stories about inanimate objects coming to life to kill people, but even he didn't think of this one.  Not so smart now are you, Mr. Wrote-Lots-of-Books-and- Stuff? I love you, Stephen King, I'm just jealous and shouldn't have brought you into this.

   This unique piece of contemporary design is available in both white and black versions and can be preordered right now by visiting https://joshdivinestudio.com/shop.