New York Comic Con 2017 Wrap Up

    New York Comic Con 2017 was a weird one for me.  Just three days prior Sharon and I had returned from a week in Yellowstone and vicinity so we were still pretty worn out by the time we boarded the train to New York.  Day one was spent partly in frustration in a sea of people, while day two certainly made up for it.  Here are my thoughts on this annual pilgrimage of nerd-dom and sweaty folks:

- The Javitts Center was on lock down all weekend, with metal detectors at every entrance and the SWAT team roaming around with heavy weaponry.   The level of security was due to the craziness in Las Vegas and I was glad to see that they took everyone's safety so seriously, so kudos to the organizers.

-  The best cosplay I've ever seen involved a mother and father with two very tiny twins in a double stroller.  They had all dressed like characters from The Shining and it was awesome.

-  The Block, which is the area that features designer toys and is what I'm personally most interested in, was pushed from their normal spacious area to a small corner in the back by the loading docks.  This made visiting with people I wanted to a near impossibility as the tide of the crowd funneled through such small aisles would move you whichever way they were going.  I'm not terribly claustrophobic, but I was starting to feel it.


-  We randomly ran into former WWE wrestler Jake "The Snake" Roberts by an escalator on day one. He was extremely nice and we talked for a bit about what he was up to and how he was doing after his documentary.  In case you haven't seen it a camera crew followed him around as Diamond Dallas Page tried to help him get his life back together while battling serious addiction.  He even asked us if we'd like to take a picture with him, which we were happy to do.  On day two when we saw him again it was clear that the happy ending of his film wasn't as black and white as he had made it seem.  He hit on my wife in a manner that would have been offensive had it not been so utterly hilarious and pathetic.  It reminded me of some internet troll hiding in the safety of his mother's basement and anonymously behind a computer screen as he harassed young girls without the benefit of a filter on his thoughts.  Actually, I would have been offended had I not felt sorry for the guy knowing the reality that he would have to live with long after the convention floor had closed and the adulation of his fans had once again disappeared.

-  We randomly bumped into Michael Ian Black in one of the aisles on day two.  He did not sexually harass my wife.

-  I spent the least amount of money I ever had at the convention as the releases were much fewer this year.  I don't know whether Five Points affected this or the event that was simultaneously going on in Taiwan, or whether so much focus has just been shifted to Designer Con.  Either way it felt different than the past incarnations of comic con, as if this convention has become more of an afterthought for the world of designer toys.

- We saw some really inspiring stuff in the artist's alley this year.  Lots of original work that was more fine art rather than just another version of Harley Quinn.

-  There were some cool prototypes for toys that I'd be happy to own.  Here's some photos so you can start planning your finances:

The Tenacious Toys mascot is going from resin to vinyl in the near future.  Looked to be around five inches tall, so it's gonna be a pretty hefty chunk of plastic.

Super7 is releasing these amazing Misfits Reaction figures soon.  Available in red or black, I'm gonna need both of these pretty badly.  And I heard that there's gonna be a King Diamond figure too!!!!

Tara McPherson's Skullflower prototype was on display from Toy Qube.  Loved the smaller version and being that I have almost every other toy she's released this one is a must.  

-  Sharon was most excited to meet Swatch, the shop dog from Mood fabric stores.  That's where all of the contestants shop for their materials on Project Runway and that little pup is always there being buds with Tim Gunn.  We now have pictures with two famous animals as they were sleeping, with Grumpy Cat being the other.  Hobbies keep you out of jail.

-  The thing that keeps me coming back every year despite any negative things I may have pointed out are the intangibles that go beyond buying an item or meeting a celebrity.  One of my favorite things is to grab lunch and sit on the floor in one of the big halls and just people watch. We'll sit for an hour or so and look at the costumes and listen to the camaraderie that forms between two people from merely being a fan of the same franchise.  When you buy a ticket in you're buying an experience and as long as I remember that I always enjoy myself.

-  I saw a guy on the train make his girlfriend stand so he could use the seat next to him to eat his dinner.  He would literally sit him hamburger on the unprotected cushion rather than the wrapper that it came in.  I'm sure he was either murdered by his girlfriend later that not after she processed this indignity or the special strain of New Jersey Transit bacteria ravaged his guts and brought him to an unceremonious end.  Either way, he is no longer with us.

    Well, that about does it.  There was sweat, thankfully no blood, and certainly no tears.  Except for that dude on the train, who probably cried a lot when he made it to the nearest bathroom.

Check out www.facebook.com/thetoyviking for all of the pictures.

The Tenacious Toys Collective for New York Comic Con

    It's hard to believe that the day is almost here for me to trek to New York and give myself a financial seizure at Comic Con.  Every year I trick myself by looking at the exclusives beforehand online and feeling comfortable that by obtaining one or two things I will be content enough when its over.  But then I walk onto the show floor and am blindsided by all of the unexpected things I see.  Things that weren't in the plan I formulated in my head as the train enters Manhattan with fellow attendees.  I am here to forewarn you that Tenacious Toys is great at dealing in lethal surprises.

   This year at both #780 is no different, though some of the components that make it up may be.  There's a lot of different names involved this year, but the one I'm most excited to see is Black Drove.  They collect the craziest mixture of sofubi and resin releases from all over the globe that will both blow your mind and your credit limits.  Check out the artists that will be represented:

Horrible Adorables Releases for New York Comic Con

    I just got back from visiting Yellowstone National Park and if you ever have the chance to go you better take it.  The scenery is breathtaking and there's critters everywhere.  I saw my first ever bear in the wild, along with a host of elk, pronghorns, mule deer, and buffalo.  And I hand fed a raven one of those Nature Valley granola bars.  He was working the parking lot trying to pick up scraps when he bounced over to my car.  I gave him a couple of pieces and with each one I got him closer and closer until finally I just held my hand out.  He would fill his beak, take his bounty to somewhere I couldn't see, then fly back and continue to peck at my hand.  I know they tell you not to feed the animals but I was pretty sure that a) he couldn't hurt me that badly and b) take me to forest jail if you must because it was too tempting to resist.  Will forest jail accept your bail money in pine cones?

    I did not see any critters of the Horrible Adorables variety while I was there, but I will see some in a few days at New York Comic Con, more specifically at the PIQ! booth #745.  Gaze upon these wondrous beasts and bring home some animal friendly taxidermy to spruce up your living space.

    

Blown Away 100% Bearbrick Series 2 from Josh Mayhem

   I'm trying to think of a good wind story in the spirit of these Blown Away Bearbricks and I really only have one.  It happened earlier this year when the smoothie place next door to my work decided that gale force winds were in no way a threat to their table umbrellas.  Two of them were zip tied to their holders, while the third was left for Mother Nature to do with as she would.  A strong gust came rolling through and launched it directly into our front window.  The glass held, but the noise scared the hell out of everyone in ear shot.  I went outside and returned it to its table, stunned at the fact that I wasn't going to spend an afternoon boarding up the massive hole it should have left.  No sooner than come back inside than another gust comes underneath the umbrella, opening it completely, and firing it like a North Korean missle straight onto the roof.  We're talking a good twenty feet into the air and gone.  I don't do heights so they were on their own at that point.

    Josh Mayhem is revisiting the Bearbrick form with series 2 of these 100% figures.  There are 13 chances here for you to own one of these glittery resin coats masterpieces when they go on sale today (September 21) at 6pm pacific time.  Snag one at www.joshmayhem.com.

    

Mario Troper Enamel Pin from Playful Gorilla

    Enamel pins are the most popular thing in the world today, which is great until you literally run out of room.  Your jacket is getting short on real estate so you've got to pick and choose which ones you buy very carefully.  The easiest way to do that is to combine your favorite characters so you can represent more of what you love.  No need to thank me, I enjoy solving all of the world's problems.  You should read my ideas for closing the deficit and reforming healthcare.

    Playful Gorilla has mashed up the world's of Star Wars and Super Mario Brothers into an amalgam known as Mario Trooper.  Based on one of his giant custom figures, this pin is available for a limited preorder right now through www.playfulgorilla.storenvy.com,  and when I say limited I mean as in 25.  Those 25 will also receive a free sticker of the Mario Trooper.

 

Your Last Chance To Own a Chrome Mister Melty from Buff Monster

 

  If the last thing you needed for your custom chopper was a chromed out Mister Melty from Buff Monster then you've got one shot at completing the bike of your dreams.  That's because today (September 15) at 10 am eastern time is the last time these chrome figures will ever be offered.  No minds will be changed, no pleas will be heard, this is absolutely it.  You don't have to bolt this five inch figure to a set of handle bars, but it wouldn't look out of place if you did.  Seize the day at www.staymelty.com.

Steel Age Joker from 3A

    This image of The Joker would sell me instantly on any movie he was in.  I have no idea how they could contort a real life human being's face like this, but it would be worth it.  Just think: if the design was this amazing you know the story line couldn't suck.  It would be impossible.  Impossible, I say!

    There isn't an ounce of sanity left in this dude's grin and that's what makes him interesting.  3A does a great job of taking something very familiar to us all and presenting them in a way that feels fresh, and Steel Age Joker is no exception.  Featuring fabric clothing and led lights in his already creepy eyes, this should have any Bat-fan drooling all over their comic books.  Which for the sake of market value are hopefully in protective sleeves to preventing water damage.

    Available beginning October 4th at http://www.bambalandstore.com, for $240 (which includes world wide shipping).

NYCC Exclusive Zack Ryder WWE Pop Vinyl from Funko

    New York Comic Con is right around the corner and you're looking at the best exclusive to be offered the entire weekend.  Professional wrestler, toy collector, and all around Hype Bro Zack Ryder is finally getting the Pop Vinyl treatment.  Is this bigger than his ladder match win for the Intercontinental title at Wrestlemania?  I'm sure it ranks up there, though when he won that match I cried with happiness a little bit inside my body.  It's a skill I've picked up during my many years of extreme manliness.  

    Funko has a lottery system for anyone attending the convention that you have to enter on line and you can bet I'm gonna try to get one of these.  I'm gonna put him on my desk and he's going to inspire me to keep working hard.  Not verbally of course, unless the one I get happens to be haunted for some weird reason.  Like someone fell into the vat of plastic just as they were making these figures and his soul is trapped in mine.  This just took a dark turn.  

    Oh, and the Hype Bros deserve to be tag team champions in case anyone is reading this that has the power to make that happen and is easily persuaded by my lack of argument.  

La Maudite Resin Figure from Naomi Knaff

    For me, Naomi Knaff is at the top of the resin game.  Her work is 100% original, surreal as it gets, and never dull to look at.  Calling them "figures" is a bit misleading I suppose, as each one is a bizarre little work of art.  Her latest release, La Maudite, perfectly captures all those attributes.  Standing at 6 inches tall, each figure is hand cast and painted by their creator.  The first three of these one-off sculptures will be available tonight (Sunday, September 10) at 6pm est, while two more will be available next month at New York Comic Con.  Pick one up at http://www.naomiknaff.com for $70 plus shipping.

Marbled Vinyl Tauro from Splurrt x Lulubell Toy Bodega

     I've been thinking about building a labyrinth as one of those mid life crisis type things.  Originally I wanted to build a Viking ship on my lawn and it would attract the media and maybe garner me some mild internet celebrity (until some starlet's phone with saucy pictures gets hacked).  I thought it could be pretty inspirational as well as being a serious code violation.  But then I was thinking that no one has built a good labyrinth in ages.  Corn mazes in no way count because anyone can just walk through the damn corn to escape.  And there's nothing epic waiting for you if you make your way out of one, other than a hay ride and the in ability to re-wear your itchy clothes before washing them.  That is the opposite of feeling like you achieved something great.

    Every great labyrinth needs a great monster and Tauro fits the bill perfectly.  Though he may be only 10 inches of sweet plastic he does aspire to greatness and I'd be willing to hire him once construction is completed.  This mighty beast from Splurrt will be available this Saturday, September 9, at noon pacific time for $135 plus shipping.  He is a mixture of brown, white, and gold glitter vinyl and is exclusive to Lulubell Toys.  Snag one at https://www.lulubelltoys.com.

Horror and Sci-Fi Madballs from James Groman x Kidrobot

    This one is going in the "straight outta nowhere" file as Best Buy stores around the country have released these horror and sci-fi themed Madballs from Kidrobot.  These foam balls are so much like the originals that they even got the creator of Madballs, James Groman, to design these (along with the fine folks at Bigshot Toyworks).  There's six different ones to choose from if you're one of those people that has impulse control and can somehow resist buying all of them.  If you are, I don't understand your life.

   On a side note, I am all about Best Buy carrying more stuff like this.  I've got one of their credit cards for whenever our appliances die, as our microwave did not so long ago.  The one I wanted didn't get me to the no interest financing deal, so I had to add to my sale.  I ended up buying iTunes gift cards, but I could have gotten something like this instead.  Now if car dealers would carry other stuff that I could trade my 2002 Mustang towards, I'd be in business.  Like a hot dog stand.  Or one of those sky diving simulators.  Or an in ground pool for my basement.

Blank Green Serpentoid from Michael Skattum x Gums Productions

    This is precisely why you don't go digging up ancient graves.  You think you're going to unlock the mystery of how a long past culture lived.  That with each shovel full of dirt you're inches closer to a  mostly boring special on the History Channel (American Ripper was a letdown and after reading an article describing the exhumation of H. H. Holmes from a person who was there, a complete farce.  Here's the link for anyone that watched the finale.).  Instead, you just create a pathway to freedom for some dude like this, who will then infect human kind with his snake juice and turn us all into reptilian slave people.  Thanks a lot, bub.

    Michael Skattum and Gums Productions are back at their crazy figure shenanigans with the debut of Serpentoid!  This 8 inch tall figure features two points of articulation located right at those ape-like fore limbs and is scarier than anything Brendan Frasier faced in those Mummy movies.  You can get one right now for $65 (which includes world wide shipping) by checking out http://www.michaelskattum.com.  

     

The Debut of Fossil Pods from James Groman x Toy Art Gallery

   Good thing I kept my eclipse glasses because these things are so yellow they make my retinas nervous.  You certainly won't be able to miss the debut of James Groman's dinosaur meets insect mini figures known as Fossil Pods, and I certainly wouldn't want to.  I've been looking forward to these since Toy Art Gallery started posting teasers.  I'm a sucker for weird animal evolution (who isn't when you think about it) and these look mighty killer.

    You can get you hands on these toys that would have blown Darwin's mind when they go on sale today, September 1, at noon pacific time.  Get the entire set of five for a mere $60.  I know you got paid today, so you've got it.  Yeah, you could pay bills I guess, but just remember there's an active volcano sitting beneath Yellowstone National Park that is way past due for a monumental, wipeout half of the United States-size explosion.  Buy the toys.

Get em at www.toyartgallery.com.

Used Sketty 8 Inch Dunny from Sket-One

    

       Peanut butter is my jam (see what I did there) but I really only like the chunky version.  I've got this weird texture issue with food that's too soft, so those extra bits of peanuts hidden throughout are there to save me from utter disgust.  I also prefer lumpy mashed potatoes, french fries that are well done on the outside, and bread that has a crust that could undo the best dental work.  Please don't send me any food though, because I have another weird issue about people trying to feed me.  This is getting way too personal.

    I won't hold it against Sket-One that his latest Dunny is lacking the crunchy bits I love, but only because this toy is completely not edible.  And to top it all off someone has been mighty liberal in their use of this lunch time staple, as most of it's contents are long gone.  That's ok though, because like I said before you won't be making sandwiches with this toy; you'll only be making other collectors jealous at your awesome score.  

    Each eight inch figure comes with a mini jar of peanut butter, a slice of bread, and a knife with a little bit of the good stuff still attached to the end.  You can preorder yourself one starting tomorrow ( Friday, September 1st) at 12am eastern time for a period of 24 hours.  Once that day is up, the window for purchase will be closed and the manufacturing will commence.  These are only available from http://sketone.storenvy.com.

The Heck Resin Figure from We Become Monsters

    Why is it that doctors have all the worst art in their offices?  You'd think they'd be able to afford something really nice, but everything looks like it belongs at a thrift store.  I get that you can't put anything crazy like a Hieronymus Bosch in the waiting room of your dentist's office (though Ive been to a dentist where that would have fit right in with his bedside manner) but you can certainly do better.  All this brings me to a painting hanging in the office of my doctor.  It depicts a man standing behind a basket that is filled with severed heads.  The basket is cleverly labeled "new heads" in case there was any question of what it contained, and is in theory supposed to represent how great it would be if you had an issue with your own mind to just swap it with a spare.  I personally read it as the young man that created the painting is in no subtle way trying to tell you about his love for dismembering human bodies and what would be found beneath the floor boards of his kitchen should you be curious.  His confessional looks like it was created by a fifth grader, which adds the unease I feel every time I look at it.  The only time I think a boring painting by Monet would be a bit more appropriate is if it is replacing one given to you by the criminally insane. 

    Having multiple heads lying around isn't always a bad thing, even if they do come knocking on your door with a search warrant.  Case in point, this new creation from We Become Monsters.  It's called The Heck, and is a scaled down version of one of his other figures, The Hell.  There are three different colors of this four inch figure to collect, and each comes with an alternate head for mixing and matching how you see fit.  Available exclusively from http://webecomemonsters.storenvy.com, these suckers are hand made and extremely limited.   

Resin Cthulhu Madball from Magitarius

    

    Even The Old Ones recognize how important a game of catch is to help a father bond with his son. Plus, the development of hand eye coordination is really important if one day you are to return to this world and decimate mankind.  Hence we have this Cthulhu Madball from the resin slinging folks at Magitarius.  Limited to just five pieces in this color scheme, each one will prepare your throwing arm in no time for that all important moment when you rise from the sea and take back what is rightfully yours.  Pick one up now over at http://www.magitarius.com.

Technicolor Owl Clam Lottery from Nathan Jurevicius x Toy Art Gallery

   We've all been there: you're wandering around a music festival in the summer heat.  Your body is having an adverse reaction to stomach medication that unbeknownst to you requires you to stay out of direct sunlight.  Your wife goes to the bathroom and when she returns you're not there as you've been helped to the medical tent suffering from weakness and hallucinations.  Just when all hope seems lost, The Great Owl Clam appears to you.  Armed with an ice pack and a soothing voice like Jim Morrison,  he ensures that everything will not only be ok, but they will be awesome.  After you go to the emergency room though.

    A few days after.

     It's still embarrassing.

   Follow the technicolor dream boat that is the Owl Clam to find your own inner peace.  Sprung forth from the mind of Nathan Jurevicius and produced by Toy Art Gallery, this wonder of Japanese plastic can be yours by entering a lottery to purchase.  From now until Monday at noon pacific time, you can send an email to sales(at)toyartgallery.com with "Owl Clam Lottery" as the subject.  Please include your Paypal address and shipping info as well, and only enter once.  God speed.


    

Preorder Skinner's Necronomicon Pop Up Book from Poposition Press

    You may have read everything that H.P. Lovecraft ever committed to paper, but you've never had his stories literally jump off the page to drag your soul into unescapable madness!!!!!  Now you can experience these tales like it was the first time with this Necronomicon Pop Up book from Skinner and Poposition Press.  Featuring five stories of terror to keep you up at night and probably pee a little, this book goes beyond anything the master of horror could have envisioned himself.  Available for preorder now at a special discounted price and in three different versions for collectors, no home would be complete without one.  Get all the details and secure one for yourself by visiting 

https://www.necronomiconpopup.com.  

The Talking Board 5 Inch Dunny from Doktor A x Kidrobot

    The five inch Dunny platform is quickly becoming my favorite.  Not only is the size perfect for those of us that are running out of shelf space, but the designs Kidrobot has showcased on it have pushed the boundaries of where the toy can go.  The latest is the Talking Board from Doktor A.  Based on a custom he did many moons ago, this is one of those toys you have to hold in your hands to really appreciate the intricacies of both the design and the finished product.  Luckily, I have had one for a few days now so I'm telling you this based on my own first hand experience.  He fits in beautifully with my cabinet of curiosities and is right now the only toy I have in there amidst the bones and quack medical devices.  Just look how happy he is posed next to a donation card from the Body Worlds exhibit:

    You can get your own and use it to contact the spirit realm when he goes on sale this Friday, August 25th.  The red edition will be available wherever you like to buy your designer toys, while the green version is an exclusive to www.kidrobot.com.  

The Debut of James Groman's Brachiosaurus from Toy Art Gallery

    If zombie dinosaurs roamed the Earth, would they have still been around until we invented ways to kill them?  This is the pressing question of our times, or at least this very moment as we gaze upon the debut of this Brachiosaurus from James Groman x Toy Art Gallery.  Of course, it is possible that the zombie dinosaurs would have wiped us out before we had the chance to realize that you have to hit them in their pea sized brains for it to be effective.  Now I'm freaking out about zombies evolving to have tiny heads thus making them nearly immortal.  I need to start going to bed earlier.

    Cast in a beautiful red vinyl, this eight inch tall lizard features five points of articulation, which would be just enough to not be able to do a damn thing about a giant meteor.  Available starting today (Friday, August 18) at noon pacific time, he can be yours for $125 only from www.toyartgallery.com. 

Long Night Edition Luna from The Bots x UVD Toys

    Thank God people weren't toting around cell phones with cameras when I was going through my goth phase.  Plausible deniability is much easier when no photographic evidence exists, and me telling you about it is way less horrifying than seeing it for yourself.  Thankfully I moved past that time in my life well before middle age hit, because looking like Robert Smith from The Cure is not even a good look for Robert Smith.

    Luna is channeling her dark side in this exclusive colorway from The Bots and UVD Toys.  Limited to just 75 pieces, $60 will not only get you the toy but also a matching enamel pin.  Procure yourself one at http://uvdtoys.storenvy.com.

Help Luke Chueh Turn His Art Into Animation

    Believe it or not I almost made a cartoon once.  My wife and I were working with this local dude who had a production company and we came up with ideas for something that would have been pretty awesome.  "Would have" because the dude flaked out on us and stole most of our ideas to use in another one of his projects, which actually aired.  I would be mad about it, but his life turned out to be pretty crappy afterwards so I feel like that's the universe having our back on that one.  Karma is way cheaper than trying to hire an attorney.

    Luke Chueh has dreams of turning his famous characters into an animation and he is on the cusp of it happening.  As of this writing his Grief Encounters project is 97% funded, so now it's up to all of you to give it that final push.  There are only a few days left but tons of great rewards still to be had, like the above 1000% resin Possessed statue.  Or if that's a little rich for your blood there are smaller versions in vinyl to be had that are exclusive to the campaign:

    Munky King also has versions of his Hung and Prisoner figures that are dying to hop in a shipping box and be mailed to you as soon as you pledge your support.  Check out this link and let's help make it happen.

      

Satanic Spaceman Glampyre Lottery from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    So let me get this straight:  you have a chance to not only own one of these sweet Glampyre toys, but they've been hand painted by the man behind the design, Martin Ontiveros?  And this eight inch figure looking like Dracula joined the Kiss Army is only $150?  I may not hit the Powerball, but this is the next best thing.  You would wish I did hit a jackpot like that, because I would quit my job in such awesome fashion it would absolutely break the Internet.  I've already got it all planned out, so keep me in your prayers.

   Speaking of lotteries, the only way you can own one of these limited edition dream boats is by entering one.  From now until Monday, August 14 at noon pacific you can email sales@toyartgallery.com with the subject line "Glampyre Lottery" along with your PayPal details and shipping address. Then cross whatever you can for good luck so you bring this beauty home.

Death Goliathon Lottery from Planet-X Asia x Cop a Squat Toys

    Jane Goodall never hung out with monkeys that looked like this.  All of her primate buds had only one head and certainly didn't look like they took radiation baths every morning. You will not find him in any zoo, placing his paw against the glass in an effort to connect with visitors on some deeper level.  Nope, this is a freakish Planet of the Apes-style secret military monkey whose only interest in you is using your bones to pick his teeth.  He is full of pretty colors, though.  

    Planet -X Asia has enlisted the help of Cop a Squat Toys to paint up a limited run of only 6 of these bad monkeys.  The things are freakin huge so you might want to go to Home Depot and reinforce your shelves before you enter the lottery to purchase one.  Here are the details if you want in on this behemoth:

    All you must do to enter the lottery is be a @copasquattoys follower on Instagram and comment “I’m in!” on the photo 

    Price will be $300 + shipping via USPS Priority.  The winners will be drawn on Friday. August 11th.

Blue Draculobster from Michael Skattum

       I was totally gonna write about this season of Game of Thrones but I don't want to be the dude that spoils it for those that haven't watched any episodes yet.  I'd be pretty heated if someone ruined it for me so I'll refrain from wondering too much about how slowly the army of the dead is moving in their attempt to get beyond the wall.  It's not like a kid who doesn't have the use of his legs totally got to where he was going and had time to rest up and spit prophesies.  I bet the undead formed a union and now they have to take regularly scheduled breaks.  Or maybe their bladders have all shriveled and they have to stop to pee constantly like that one time at New York Comic Con where I was trying to pass a kidney stone and I had to go every 10 minutes.  If you're ever peeing blood the most awesome thing you can do is not flush the toilet so the guy after you has something fun to talk about with his friends.        

    This Blue Draculobster from Michael Skattum (aka Draculazer) and Gums Productions totally reminds me of one of those White Walkers.  Except for the lobster claw and his utter disregard for clothing.  You can bring this ten inch vinyl toy home today for only $85 which includes shipping from Honk Kong, which is where giant lobster people live.  Snag one at http://www.michaelskattum.com before they sell out.


     

Resin Reptillian Madball from Magitarius

      When I was studying forensics in college one of my textbooks had a picture of a dude who had taken copious amounts of illegal substances, sliced his entire face off with broken pieces of glass, and fed his fleshy bits to his dogs.  While the picture was pretty horrifying, the real victims were his puppies who now have an unrealistic expectation of what treat time should look like.  Good luck trying to appease them with a Milk Bone after that.  

    Sometimes when you tear your face off the results are way more neat-o than some basic muscle and bone; sometimes you reveal yourself to be a reptilian overlord.  The folks at Magitarius will make you wonder what your friends are made of with this resin Madball-style release.  Limited to nine pieces, this accurate depiction of the people that run our country are available right now for $55 each (shipping included) by checking out http://www.magitarius.com. 

The Odd Ones: Shard Dunny from Scott Tolleson

 
     You probably thought that The Odd Ones were finished; that the brood of misfits couldn't possibly have any other friends you had yet to meet.  Well, you just got ZINGED!, or whatever it is the kids are saying these days for when you were tricked right out of your shirt, cause looky what we have here.  His name is Shard and he looks to me like a perfect bit of sea glass that washed up on the beach.  Or that blue stuff that the chemistry teacher was making to pay for his cancer treatments in that one show.  Scott Tolleson is there anything you'd like to tell us?  We won't snitch.

     This three inch resin Dunny first made his debut at San Diego Comic Con but now he is available for the rest of the world starting tomorrow (Thursday, August 3rd) at 10 am pacific time.  You'll find him at http://www.stolleart.com/store/ for $50 each plus $10 shipping.

The Lord of the Rings: Mini Epics Vinyl Figures from Weta Workshop

     I remember when my wife took me to watch the first Lord of the Rings film at the theater and afterwards she asked me what I thought about it.  The first thing I could think to say after seeing the books come to life on screen were "I wish we lived in Middle Earth."  I still stand by that sentiment, even though we technically do, as Middle Earth was based on Midgard from Norse Mythology, which is the world of man.  But I want it as it looked in the films: endless breathtaking scenery filled with magic and adventure.  My biggest adventures now are trying to figure how to pay my student loans and not starve to death like the government seems intent on, and trying to figure out why Instagram keeps crashing on my iPad.  Sigh.  

     Everyone out there knows that whenever Weta Workshop is involved in a film that everything they touch will be a highlight, and there collectibles are some of the most impressive I've ever been able to see in person.  Now they're expanding their horizons into the world of vinyl toys and I couldn't be happier.  Each of the first five figures from their new Mini Epics line offers a stylized take on classic characters from The Lord of the Rings.  Choose from Gimli, Frodo, Gollum, a Uruk-Hai Berserker, and a Moria Orc, or just get them all and start your new obsession off properly.  All five are available for preorder now at http://wetaworkshop.com

My Pet Monster Vinyl Toy Preorder from Creepy Co

    When I was little I really wanted a pet tiger.  No real particular reason, I just though having a giant cat living in the house would be cool.  Now that I have five normal sized cats I realize what a nightmare that would have been.  Feeding the thing would bankrupt me and cleaning a litter box that something that those little guys use gets bad enough at times; I would need a snow shovel and a back brace to scoop a tiger's litter.  The beauty of wanting stuff as a kid is that practicality never really comes into play.

    My Pet Monster was the everything a kid could ask for:  you could hang out all day with a supernatural creature and you never had worry about it puking up a hairball on your pillow.  You can know relive all of those great childhood memories with this vinyl version from Creepy Co.  Available now for preorder, this 6 inch tall vinyl figure comes in the classic version (limited to 500) and a shackles version (limited to 100).  Hitchhike down the nostalgia highway by visiting https://www.creepycompany.com.