It's Review Time, Suckers!!!! Featuring The Tenacious Toys Exclusive Humpek from Whatshisname x Mighty Jaxx

       Should you ever need a sign that your child's birthday party has taken a turn for the worse; you know beyond the typical crying, vomiting, or inebriated parents loudly discussing the terms of their separation, I present to you Humpek.  Like the name infers, these are two balloon dogs caught in the middle of life's most loving embrace.  I swear, you can't turn your back on one of those birthday clowns without them going off the rails and teaching biology in between the cake and presents.  Stick to the itinerary, you freak!

From this angle it could be seen as an innocent piggy back ride.

    This vinyl toy is the creation of an artist know as Whatshisname, which may be a clever moniker intended to deceive Jeff Koons as to where to send the cease and desist letters.  Can you believe that man actually tried to claim a copyright ownership of balloon animals?  Oh, maybe he'll send me a cease and desist letter for mentioning his name on here.  I've never gotten one of those before, though I'm sure that fact speaks more to my limited audience than to my penchant for typing out what my mind thinks.  If I got one I would hang it on my fridge and I would be insufferable at diner parties, unable to speak about anything else than how the guy who is famous for making hotel lobby art sent me a letter telling me to behave myself before legal action be taken.  Bring it, fancy boy.

The bottom doggy is obviously just helping the other one reach something on a high shelf.

   Ok, I got a little off track there living out my legal fantasies with an artist who irritates me.  Moving on.  This toy was produced by Mighty Jaxx as an homage to how little baby ballon animals are made.  You never see baby balloon animals at all, do you?  That's because the mommy and daddy keep them well hidden from predators like hawks, coyotes, safety pins, over sharpened pencils, etc.  There really are a lot of dangers out in the world for those little guys.  It could also be that tiny balloon animal babies would be extra hard to make with those chubby sausage fingers that birthday clowns all seem to possess.  Those giant digits are great for choking out your cell mate on your felony drug possession stretch, but are a hinderance once you start working the party circuit.

Only Westminster is more thorough in their canine reviews. 

   It's been a minute since I've last reviewed a toy, so I keep getting distracted by the very nature of this creature.  The folks at Mighty Jaxx did a bang up (pun intended) job in making these two love pups a reality.  The piece itself is flawless in terms of construction, which had to be a nightmare considering all of the individual bits that were needed to put one together.  Making something this complex look as though it isn't is no easy task, but they pulled it off.

Still Life

   In creating art the devil is certainly in the details, so imagine how surprised I was when I opened the box (which by the way is the most secure shipment of anything I've ever received) and out popped a jimmy hat.  And it's even got a joke on it.  The only joke I ever heard about condoms was when my step father gave me some in high school.  That was the joke, because I had absolutely no use for them.


   That fancy blue that you've seen in all of these pictures is the exclusive colorway of Tenacious Toys, so that means if you want to own this very one that is the only place you can get it.  I love the color because it stands out against everything else in my house, which my wife and I have attempted to make look like the Parisian apartment of a very rich, yet also kinda crazy, art collector.  Being that I've never been to Paris, let alone in anyone's apartment who was a lunatic patron of the arts, I have no idea how close we've come to nailing the aesthetic.  I also have no way of knowing that we didn't, so I'm calling it a success.

Wednesday refuses to be a pawn in the modern art game.  

   On a side note, this is the second time I've reviewed a toy that was captured in this very act.  I'm not sure what that means in the greater scheme of things, but it felt worth noting.  Also, this may be the review that finally ruins any chance I had at ever running for public office.  Can you see the attack commercials of my opponent?  That would be hilarious and I'd like to declare my candidacy for Senate.

   This is by far the strangest thing I now own, and I am the proud caretaker of a mummified fetal pig and an antique tubular specula, which is fancy speak for an inner butt flashlight (cash only, no insurance plans accepted).  Having one of these on your shelf is sure to jump start conversations that are guaranteed to be more interesting than you could even imagine.   It's fun, it's irreverent, it makes me laugh, and it sent my imagination in all different directions as you can see from the paragraphs above.  If you want to add a good time to your collection, visit www.tenacioustoys.com today and pick up one of these.

The Thing Resin Mini Figure Series from Pickmans Vinyls

    I'm gonna have to be completely honest with you here:  I've never seen The Thing.  Yes, I'm talking about the classic horror film from John Carpenter and I'm admitting to have never watched it.  I can also say that telling you all this has not released any burden from my shoulders.  There will be no Hail Mary's or anything else that the newly confessed feel obliged to perform and the reason for my lack of atonement is there are plenty of people out the who have yet to see Star Wars.  Oh it's true and I've met them.  So until they are punished for such atrocities my minor infraction of overlooking The Thing is wouldn't even warrant a misdemeanor in the realm of cinematic crime.

    One day I will get around to watching it, but for now I have to take Pickmans Vinyls word that these new resin mini figures are indeed from the movie.  Hell, I haven't seen 50 Shades of Gray either, so I'm being really trusting here.  There will be a whole series of these, with this Spiderhead dude kicking things off.  Preorders for him begin tonight, Friday January 11th, at 8pm cst.  Each figure will come with what's known as blood points that can be redeemed for exclusive stuff once you collect three of them.  Add them to your collection today by visiting www.pickmansvinyls.bigcartel.com.

"Purple People Eater" Hag Defender Lottery from Wonder Goblin

    

     I've had this idea about human illness that I'd like to go ahead and share with you right now.  My wife and I have been battling some mutated sinus nonsense for the better part of two weeks and nothing in the world has been as satisfying to me than to crank the water in the shower to scalding, inhale the steam, and fire as much matter from my nose as I'm physically able.  There's nothing quite like having a mass dislodge from your sinus cavity and having it wash down the drain.  So while I have no power to make this a thing, wouldn't it be amazing if any time you had a cold or virus or any type of illness that you just had to evict some sentient ball of ick to know that you would be ok?  Like, once it came out you knew that you wouldn't be sick anymore.  I imagine it having little arms and probably cursing at you in German upon being exposed to the light, but the personal attacks it would lob at you would be nothing when you realized that soon all of your sniffles would be gone.  

    Wonder Goblin's Hag Defender looks a little more extreme than the viral core I described to you above, but he also looks like he could do some damage if you ever ingested one via undercooked fish.    Thankfully for us this dude is less interested in wrecking your immune system than he is keeping his queen safe.  This limited "Purple People Eater" colorway is going to be available via a lottery system that begins on Saturday, January 12th at 6pm est and ends 24 hours later.  And lest you think there will be some random number generator picking the winners, because they will actually be picked live on Instagram via this contraption:

    This thing is insane and I guarantee Wonder Goblin is going to get a lot of requests to purchase it.  He's not for sale, but the Hag Defenders sure will be.  Each 5 and 1/2 inch figure will retail for $180 plus shipping, so if you win have those dollar bills ready to go.  Enter the lottery by visiting https://www.wondergoblin.com.

Spy Boy Resin Figure from Compton III

      The Mummer's Parade just took place on New Year's Day in Philadelphia, and anyone not from the area most likely has no idea what I'm talking about.  It's a weird experience to say the least, and you should certainly consult Youtube to get a better understanding than I can give you.  I remember seeing a video of them before I moved to the area and I had absolutely no idea what the hell I was watching.  Their's lots of giant sequined covered costumes, string instruments, and choreography that is beyond anything you've ever seen before.  It's another one of those quirky things that makes Philadelphia great and we have certainly not cornered the market when it comes to unusual traditions.  

     There's not much about New Orleans that isn's a spectacle, but I'd be hard pressed to find one bigger than Mardi Gras.  Of course everyone knows all about the parade floats and drunken revelers, but had you heard of the Mardis Gras Indians?  I hadn't until artist Compton III sent me an email about his figure, paying homage to what I learned is a long standing tradition.  Again, mere words are not adequate here, so once again visit Youtube to see what they're all about. 

     This figure is a throwback to the origins of urban vinyl while going beyond the limitations I felt a lot of those early works set for themselves.  It's interesting to look at and invokes an aspect of American culture that until today was completely unknown to me.  I'd say that's a successful work of art, and if you want to add one of these hand painted resin figures to your collection you can do so by visiting www.spacebroccoli.com.  Each one stands 9 and 1/2 inches tall and retails for $350.

Chris Ryniak and Amanda Louise Spayd's Gemnibbler Exclusive from Umi Toys Hawaii

    Happy New Year, ya filthy animals!  The best way to start your next 365 days off right is to treat yourself to some retail therapy.  I started the New Year with a sinus infection; mouth breathing my way home from work last night while R.E.M.'s "It's the End of the World as We Know It" filled the interior of my Hyundai.  Kind of an ominous start to 2019, but if life were easy I certainly wouldn't recognize it if it was standing next to me and tapping my shoulder.  So while I could bore you with top 10 lists or other nonsense that people usually do this time of year, my cold medicine is insisting we throw that idea in the trash and instead tell you about something new.  Brace yourselves, for I am at its mercy.

   There's nothing worse that being a collector of anything and not being able to get each and every thing associated with it.  Do you want to know how many sets of figures I have where I'm only missing one and that one that eludes me is priced at a level that would keep me up at night?  I'd tell you, but lets not dwell on the negative.  Umi Toys is ensuring that every collector of the Thimblestump Hollow series 2 figures from Chris Ryniak and Amanda Louise Spayd will be able to complete their sets by offering up this exclusive Canyon edition Gemnibbler.  This enemy of precious jewels is limited to only 85 pieces, retails for $15, and can only be had by visiting www.umitoyshawaii.com.  One of these will also be included if you are purchasing one of their Fukubukuro lucky bags.

   These figures are produced by the fine folks of Cardboard Spaceship, who have yet to convince NASA that corrugated paper is the best material for use when constructing the shuttle.  

Kazans Sofubi Series from Gary Baseman x APPortfolio

   I love the work of Gary Baseman because he has managed to create things that are instantly recognizable as his without ever feeling stale.  I love it for other reasons as well, but what I mentioned above is no easy task.  So when I saw these posted on Facebook there was no doubt as to who created them, but they in equal measures felt like sometime completely new.  And how can you not be happy when looking at these?  They're the perfect cure for the nasty seasonal depression many of us are going through, though you probably shouldn't rush out and cancel your doctor's appointments just yet.  These critters have yet to be evaluated by the Food and Drig Administration for their therapeutic properties.

   These sofubi figures have been produced by APPortfolio and are available now.  They come in sets of two and will retail for $204 per set.  You can see how they are paired up in the pictures below and you can purchase them by visiting https://apportfolio.shoplineapp.com.

Tenacious Toys Exclusive Sprayed Away Series 1 from Josh Mayhem

   Last summer here at the Jersey Shore a tourist was sitting on the beach when a large gust of wind picked up an umbrella, launched it towards her, and impaled her leg like a javelin.  All this time we had this irrational fear of sharks because of Jaws, when the silent killer was lulling us into complacency with the promise of respite from a brutal sun.  Shade comes at a price, my friends, and that price could very well be your life!  This has been a public service announcement from The Council For Impalement Awareness.

   Josh Mayhem has made what is quite possibly his most appropriate Blown Away series to date.  Utilizing the SprayeeQ Qee platform from Toy2R, he has adequately captured what a popular song and dad jokes have told us for years: you never spray into the wind.  Whether it be paint or more organic substances, the results will always be the same.  Though the embarrassment levels might vary greatly.  

   This exclusive series for Tenacious Toys features 12 hand customized figures with one random glow in the dark chase.  Each piece stands 5 inches tall, will retail for $150, and will be available starting at 3pm today (Wednesday, December 19th) only from www.tenacioustoys.com.  

Spoke Art Exclusive Calico Kittypillar from Casey Weldon x 3A

    The only new cats that will be entering my home any time soon will be of the plastic variety, because I've got a kitty turf war on my hands as we speak.  Two of the five have decided that our house isn't big enough for the both of them, so the black one rolls up on the tiny one like a school yard bully, and the tiny one responds by trying to make force fields out of urine all over the place.  There's nothing quite like laying your head down in anticipation of a good night's sleep and having the serenity broken by a jet stream of pee against the wall.  That girl has some pressure built up and it has ballooned my paper towel budget to absurd levels.  If you find yourself in the same situation, Target sells a product called Urine Destroyer, which sounds metal as hell and really does a good job... and I now realize that this is the most elderly post I've ever written and I am only slightly ashamed.


    While the idea of having a real life Kittypillar sounds pretty awesome, the science behind their creation is a slippery slope I'm not prepared to slide down.  So until kitties on some remote island in the South Pacific evolve naturally into this, we're going to have to dream about it vicariously through the work of Casey Weldon and 3A.  His latest version has a beautiful calico coat , stands eight inches tall, and has enough articulation to push all of your knick knacks straight off of the mantle.  This version is an exclusive to Spoke Art and is limited to only 100 pieces, so if you want one I would stop your procrastinating and get to adopting.  Get yours by visiting https://spoke-art.com.

Lovecraft Inspired "Mythos In My Pocket" Figures from HH Toys

    I can assure you I have neither monsters nor Mythos in my pockets.  I have a Wal-Mart receipt or two, which I will inevitably forget is in there, throw my pants in the wash, and discover later as an unidentifiable wad of football shaped paper.  Now if we were to examine my jacket we would discover all of the various Chap Sticks I've had since owning said garment.  I use them during the winter, forget them come spring, and buy a new one once the weather gets cold.  I can testify in a court of law that I have no idea what the interior of a tube of Chap Stick looks like once the product is completely used.  And they always end up with flecks of unknown debris stuck to it, like some dirt monster is moisturizing his lips when I'm not watching.  This is indeed the biggest trouble I am facing right now, so I take solace in that fact, but it is still a mystery none the less.

   The tales of H.P. Lovecraft have inspired more art than possibly any other stories in recent history and HH Toys are joining that list with their new figure line Mythos In My Pocket.  They've taken prominent characters and even the man himself, shrunken them down, and created a series that will scratch the literary itch of any toy collector.  The best way to get every figure and a few killer bonuses is by getting in on the early bird edition, which will feature a complete set of flesh colored toys, a bonus glow in the dark version, a bonus Cthulhu idol, print, and sticker for just $65 (plus shipping).  Only 100 of those sets will be available beginning Thursday, December 13th, at 5pm eastern time.   The general release will happen on Saturday, December 15th for those of you that can't handle all those extras and just need to keep things simply to the business of the figures.  Whichever way you go, the only way to get them will be through https://mythosinmypocket.com.   

 

CMY Edition of Luke Chueh's Possessed from Munky King

    In my list of things in life that are scams, printer ink is at least top twenty.  No matter how new,  they seem to evaporate as quickly as the money I spent on them.  And how come I can buy a bag full of ink pens for next to nothing but throw it in a computer and suddenly it's worth it's weight in gold?  Those evil little cartridges are right up there with Ticketmaster fees, extended warranties, movie prequels, Columbus Day, premium gasoline, name brand cereal, the health care industry, and a bunch of other stuff that I can't think of right now but the moment someone brings them up I'll be sure to yell "SCAM" in their general direction.

    I'm going to put my tumultuous relationship with the ink industry aside and bask in the beauty of thes CMY edition of Luke Chueh's Possessed figure.  Each of these vinyl toys from Munky King is highlighting a shade used in the color printing process and they are exclusive to three different retailers.

  I Am Retro will have the Cyan version:

Munky King will have the Magenta version:

And MSX Art Gallery will be the only place to buy the yellow version:

    Now as anyone that has ever had to make an emergency run to the store when you needed to print something really important knows, black ink is the key to the whole operation.  So Munky King is giving you a chance to win the Kickstarter exclusive all black colorway.   If you purchase all three of these and post a picture of them on Instagram, utilize the hashtag #CMYPossessedContest, and follow @munkykingtoys, @i.am.retro, and @lukechueh you will be entered to win.  Easy enough, right?

    Each will be released tomorrow, December 7th, at noon pacific time through the retailers listed above.  

    

DLX Bumblebee Preorder from 3A

    That new Bumblebee movie looks pretty cool, but it also makes me nervous.  You see, I look at Bumblebee as the small puppy of the Transformers so I swear if something bad happens to him during the movie I will not be able to handle it.  I will lose my mind and I will have to find out who is responsible so I can put them in the Camel Clutch.  Obviously dude isn't going to die, because it's a prequel to the other films, but even if someone hurts his feelings I'm gonna be mad.  It's why I can't watch those Disney movies involving animals because while the film may be good, something is gonna happen to bum me out and I do not need to cry in a movie theater and ruin my street cred.

    Allow me to blow your mind with how great this figure looks from 3A.  I love the way this looks because this is so close to how I remember Bumblebee from when I was a kid, but with a modern update.  What's really going to blow your mind is the fact that this masterpiece features 55 points of articulation.  I don't think there's anything that doesn't move.   And there's LED lights in the eyes, stands 8 inches tall, and features die cast metal parts, interchangeable hands, and anything else you can possibly think of to make this the greatest Transformers toy you will ever own.  For $145, which seems very reasonable to me, you also get free world wide shipping.  Preorder yours today by visiting www.worldof3a.com.

Orange Rage Deathcat from Deathcat Toys x Toy Art Gallery

     Taking care of a herd of cats is not for the faint of heart.  They each have their own unique personalities and quirks that at most times is endearing but sometimes can surprise you in unexpected ways.  Take for instance a few nights ago as I lay down in bed for a much looked forward to night of sleep.  I place my head on the pillow, pull my blanket up to keep out the cold, and roll over on my side for maximum comfort.  And that's when the acrid smell of feline urine fully assaults my nasal cavities. Though dry, my pillow had indeed been pee'd on.  One of our cats is much smaller than the others so she is often on the losing end of their wrestling matches.  What she lacks in size she makes up for by hosing down all of the other cat's favorite places to be.  Her nemesis likes to sleep in between my wife's and I's pillows, so hence my midnight surprise.  Of course I didn't have a spare so I ended up using one of the throw pillows from my couch, which seems to have realigned my neck in a less than optimal configuration.  She is damn cute though, so I can't even be that mad.


     After what has seemed like forever, the Deathcat has finally made the jump from resin figure to soft vinyl.  Toy Art Gallery is releasing the first edition of the namesake design from Deathcat Toys this Friday, November 30 at noon pacific time.  This four and a half inch tall sofubi figure will be $55 and for sale only from www.toyartgallery.com.  Guaranteed to not produce unwanted puddles anywhere in your home.


    

Jurassic Park Designer Vinyl Figure Collection from 3DRetro

    I'm not much for theme parks, mainly because I'm not a ride kind of dude.  I'm terrified of heights so anything that stays close to the ground is ok, but that leaves out most of the fun stuff.  The few roller coasters I have somehow been convinced to ride didn't have any loops and the "fun" I had involved staring at my feet and praying for the whole thing to be over.  My favorite of those was the Scooby Doo coaster at Kings Dominion outside of Richmond, Virginia and that was only because I was rewarded for my bravery with a blue cupcake and slushie from the mushroom shaped stand in Smurf Village.  Being nauseous only put a slight damper on my victory.

   If someone would get on with making Jurassic Park a reality they could sell me a season pass right now.  We've all been waiting for it to happen since the first movie came out, but all these scientists are too worried about "ethics" and "liability" to give us the real life dinosaur experience we deserve.  We don't need robots landing on Mars, people, we need a Jurassic Park.  Preferably located in Florida so when things go bad no one will notice.

   Until we are given what we so justly deserve, we will have to use our imaginations in tandem with these vinyl figures from 3DRetro.  They have three different toys from three very different artists to interest even the most discerning of collectors.  The half dissected T-Rex you see above there as created by mural maker extraordinaire Nychos, the frilled spitty lizard as reimagined by Joe Ledbetter:

    And this cute little dinosaur cosplay of Juan Muniz's signature character, Filipe:

     These will be available starting today (November 28th) at noon pacific time only at www.3dretro.com.  

The Rock-afire Explosion's Billy Bob in Vinyl from Justin Ishmael

     This one is bringing back some crazy memories for me and the love I have for anthropomorphic automatons and the pizza that came along with them.  I was all about Showbiz Pizza as a kid and was beyond mesmerized by the Rock-afire Explosion.  Their music wasn't great, but I loved watching as the robotic band wearing the skins of friendly wooden creatures came to some form of life unlike my own.  Looking back I'm sure you could trace a healthy amount of children's nightmares back to this group and their rodent successor Chuck E. Cheese.  But at the time who could have ever foreseen the possibility of the hulking mechanical behemoths being anything but wholesome as their dead eyes blinked audibly when they sprang to life in a restaurant that could serve not only an Italian staple but as the actual waiting room to Hell?  I could swear to you I had the best time there and somewhere I have the pictures to prove it.

    All kidding aside, this vinyl rendition of band leader Billy Bob captures a time in many of our lives that was filled with wonderment; where our biggest concern was the possibility of running out of golden tokens.  Relive it all thanks to the hard work of Justin Ishmael as he offers this officially licensed figure for preorder.  There are two versions available to collectors: the standard which includes the 11 inch tall toy, or the deluxe which comes with an exposed animatronic head and Birthday Bird.  There's also pint glasses and t-shirts so you can make Showbiz Pizza an entire lifestyle choice, which honestly should happen way more often than it does.

Everything can be found by visiting https://www.justinishmael.com.  

Flat Bonnie DesignerCon Exclusives

    I love the creations of Flat Bonnie, because not only does she create the cutest hand sewn critters in existence but she also raises money and awareness for real life animals.  So I was beyond excited to see that two of her designs will be featured as part of the DesignerCon Dunny series from Kidrobot.  One of her designs has the distinction of being the first ever plush 3 inch Dunny while the other one continues her fight for our Earth's creatures by speaking out against shark fin harvesting.

     Of course she will have her own booth as well, filled with the 2 dimensional creatures she's known for.  Check out all the exclusives that you can find later this week a booth number 802:

Dobichan - Monochrome Edition

DesignerCon 2018 Exclusive - $50 each

9" tall - Limited Edition Plush

Special DesignerCon tag and numbered sewn in label.

Made of vinyl pleather (Animal friendly materials).

Flat Knuckle Bear - collaboration with Touma

DesignerCon 2018 Exclusive - $60 each

11" tall - Limited Edition Plush

Special DesignerCon tag and numbered sewn in label.

Made of vinyl pleather (Animal friendly materials).

Flat MAOCAT - collaboration with Touma

DesignerCon 2018 Exclusive - $40 each

7" tall - Limited Edition Plush

Special DesignerCon tag and numbered sewn in label.

Made of vinyl pleather (Animal friendly materials).

Momo the Anxious Axolotl (Holiday Ornament/Charm)

Designercon 2018 Exclusive - $20 each

5" wide x 3.25" tall - Limited Edition

Special DesignerCon tag and numbered sewn in label.

Made of vinyl pleather (Animal friendly materials)

Wonder Goblin DesignerCon Exclusives

    The psychedelic nightmare creatures of Wonder Goblin are some of the most interesting figures you're going to see at DesignerCon this week.  Each one is a visual over load of color and detail that may or may not forever imprint themselves on your retina, casting a monstrous shadow in your line of sight forever the way that looking at an eclipse without filtered glasses will.  These toys won't LITERALLY burn their image into yours soft tissue, it's more figurative than that.  But will you see them when you close your eyes at night, taunting you as slow heavy metal music plays in the background?  Probably not either.  You're taking this way too seriously.

   Let's take a look at some of the craziness you can take home with you:

    * 2 Budfoot releases - "Yeti" and "Yeti Kush" one is painted and the other is flocked. $300 for Yeti. $350 for Yeti Kush. 12 inches tall. Each run is limited to 7 pieces. (se above picture)

 

* Windigo "Night Tripper" release limited to 8 pieces, 3 of which will have special dread hair       attached. $350 with hair. $300 without hair. 13 inches tall. Painted in black light reactive vinyl paint. Windigo is part of the Boogey Boys toy series with Grizlli Atom. 

* Hagopuss Family - Queen + Defender + Baby. All 3 figures are sold as a set, and limited to 7 sets. Each set includes a 20 x 14 inch signed and numbered giclée print of the Hagopuss Family Portrait oil painting, printed with archival inks on cold press paper. The figures are painted in vinyl paints to match the fine art print! $450 for the whole set.

* Fungoid Man "Marbled Watermelon" release limited to 24 pieces. This will be the first soft vinyl Fungoid Man sold within the USA! Collaboration with Skinner and produced by Science Patrol! $150 each.

Get all this and more by visiting booth # 1251. 

DesignerCon Exclusive Sofubi Strolls from Spanky Stokes x Toy Art Gallery

   Well look at what we have here!  It's been a long time since we've seen Spanky Stokes Stroll mascot in vinyl form, and it was starting to seem like I had maybe dreamt the previous ones.  You ever have those dreams where you're arguing with someone and then you wake up and are legit pissed at them?  My wife once dreamt that I let a tiger eat her and she didn't speak to me the entire next day.   For one, you don't "let" a tiger do anything.  Have you ever tried reasoning with a house cat?  Now imagine it weighs 400 lbs and could devour you.  And secondly...there's no secondly because seriously you cannot stop a cat from doing what it wants.  So there.

    Toy Art Gallery has prepared not one but two new versions of this figure for release at DesignerCon next week.  There's the tropical fruit juiciness of the glow in the dark Boogie Beach version, or for those of you that don't like flavor on your chicken, a plain glow in the dark edition.

   Either way, you can't go wrong with the world famous mascot of the designer toy blog that inspired countless others.  These will be available at the convention from booth # 543.

Tiger Guts Taylor Resin Figure from Rultron

   I love me some wrasslin, and just thinking about it gets me all hype.  Not hype enough to actually wrestle, because I learned yesterday that I have arthritis in my right knee.  My knee cap is as crooked as our country's administration, and it's been grinding away.  I only went to the orthopedist because it became difficult to walk up the stairs without being mistaken for an extra on the Walking Dead, so a couple of X-rays later I had my diagnosis.  Oh, and I got a cortisone shot, which is its own special brand of interesting.  The doctor first found the space in between bone and tendon, sprayed it with a numbing agent, and STUCK THE ENTIRETY OF A FOUR INCH HYPODERMIC NEEDLE INTO MY KNEE.  I'm talking this sucker was buried to the hilt, which I was not warned about ahead of time, so I'm sure I made one of my famous WTF faces.  Truth be told I didn't feel much of anything, and I guess a heads up about what he was going to do would make most people get up and leave, but it was still a bit of a shock to see the whole thing disappear into my body.  I hope that is the last time I ever have cause to write that sentence.

    I will have to live my Wrestlemania dreams vicariously through Tiger Guts Taylor, a resin figure from artist Rultron.  This dude is 20 cm of suplexing fury that is out there wrestling intergalactic punks in space so that he can earn his passage home, which sounds like a way better plot than the last Star Wars film.  He was produced by Dead Hand Toys and can only be obtained by emailing rultron@gmail.com.

Designer Con Exclusive Resin Shard Dunnys from Scott Tolleson

    These beautiful resin three inch Shard Dunnys from Scott Tolleson are known as the Pain edition because that's what you'll feel deep in your guts if you don't get one.  You'll probably have a few leading up to their release at Designer Con as you fear having to live the rest of your life without one.  That's right, these are candy slick and exclusive to Scott's booth at the upcoming super sized edition of Designer Con in California next month.  As much as I would love to be there I am unable to make it, and seeing these has kind of brought that reality home.  Great, now I'm in a spiral of depression.

    Just kidding, I came to terms with it a while back, but if you're one of those lucky folks that IS going and who I'm still mildly jealous of, then you better high tail it to booth # 2005.  Scott only made 100 of these and at $60 each they won't last long.


    But wait...there's more.

    There's also this insane looking five inch Shard Dunny!!!!   This one is known as the Panic edition, because that's what people will feel as the doors open to the convention and they have to run likes it's a high school gym class to get to them.  I only run if someone is chasing me, and even then they better be armed with a weapon or a warrant, but I would make an exception for one of these.  They are limited to 80 pieces and will cost ya $150.  Make sure you're wearing comfortable shoes and don't mind being seen panting heavily in the company of others.  

Self Conscious: The Confidence Boosting Plush Kickstarter from Taylored Curiosities

    Is there a more unique designer toy creator out there than Taylored Curiosities?  Not only does she release some of the most original plush and resin designs you will see, but she genuinely cares about all of our well being.  That's a big change for me, because most of the people I meet in the course of my work day seem hell bent on cremating any good feelings I have left.  When you work with the public it will erode you worse than a beach during hurricane season. Especially when it involves money, because then people are much quicker to go from zero to crazy. But Taylored Curiosities is here to repair the daily damage that can occur to your emotional barricade through my favorite medium: collectibles.  More people should follow her example and should bring some of that to New Jersey.  Maybe once they decriminalize marijuana use it will calm a lot of these folks right down.

    There is a Kickstarter campaign running right now to help bring this plush to life.  Check it out at this link and through your donation you can be part of the process of spreading something positive in the world.  God knows we can all use it.  

Undead Greasebat Set from Jeff Lamm x Monster Worship

  Are you prepared to not only have an instant Jeff Lamm collection but to have all of your Halloween decorating needs met?  Of course you are, because everyone loves a bundle deal.  Remember when you used to buy CDs or DVDs and they would come with something cool like a figure or a t-shirt but only certain places would have them and you got so excited on release day that you were first in line at the store to make sure you didn't miss out?  Sadly, those days are mostly behind us, but this set from Monster Worship is helping me relive them a bit.

   Each set contains a mini Grease Bat, a micro Grease Bat, and a killer paper jointed decoration of a Grease Bat Skeleton.  They are extremely limited and at only $70 they probably won't last long.  If you just want the decoration there will be a few of those available for only $10 each, which again means they probably won't last long.  Get em all this Friday, October 19th from www.monsterworship.com.

The Nordic Lucky Cat Has Been Unleashed!

    The time has come.  The gates of Asgard have opened and the felines are running amok all through Midgard.  Wrangle one now at thetoyviking.bigcartel.com.  

The Nordic Lucky Cat Debuts Tomorrow!!

  The day is nearly here, as in tomorrow, when the first horde of Nordic Lucky Cats becomes available.  I've wanted for a long time to make this a reality and can barely believe myself that soon you will be able to add these to your collections.  The figure itself was inspired by the two cats from Norse mythology that pulled Freyja's chariot through the nine worlds.  Not much is mentioned about them in the Sagas, so I took it upon myself to expand upon their story.  It's easy to be inspired by cats when you have five of them roaming around your house.

   Each figure stands 4 inches tall, is made of solid resin, and is presented in DIY White, which is perfect for anyone that wishes to paint them (or leave them as is, for they shine as bright as a fresh Norweigian snow fall).  This is an open edition release, meaning that periodically I will make these available for anyone who wants them.  Super limited editions in a host of styles will follow, all produced by resin wizard Renone.

Retailing for $40 plus shipping, they can only be found at thetoyviking.bigcartel.com.