A Smattering of New Releases from Violence Toy

   When a company has a name like Violence Toy its fairly indicative of what their products will entail.  I myself am a fan of getting right to the damn point, which is something rare when you work with the public.  The quickest point between your problem and my solution is a straight line, but for some people they have this overwhelming internal monologue that demands to come out.  It happens so often I don't even have concrete examples, as my brain goes into safe mode and refuses to reboot until you have finished the story about the crazy traffic you encountered earlier or the fact that your daughter just got out of rehab and doesn't she realize that she's gonna have to get a job so she can pay you back for having to take her pet snake to the vet? I wish I was clever enough to make up half the crap people willingly tell me.


 So it seems I didn't get right to the point in this post, thus making me appear a bit hypocritical.  I shouldn't hold you up any longer than it takes to drool over all of these new releases because unless you are on the Violence Toy mailing list, then you have no idea what time these will be available.  I can tell you that it will be sometime today, which is Friday October 5th.  And I can tell you that they will be available at https://violencetoy.com

Silver DeathCat from Deathcat Toys x Toy Art Gallery

    Do you remember the movie Clash of the Titans?  I'm talking of course about the original, not the crappy remake one from a few years back.  It's one of my all time favorites and other than the three original Star Wars films, the only one I'd watch repeatedly without getting tired of it.  Recently I was discussing cats with someone and they asked how I ended up with five of them and the best way I could think to describe is was the way the Gods presented Perseus with the various weapons in the film to complete his task.  Everything was placed strategically so he couldn't help but find what was intended for him and I feel the same way about the little critters that wake me up at 6:30 every morning demanding to be fed.  They were intended to enter our lives at that exact moment and all we had to do was scoop them up and take them in the house.  Ok, so we managed to do that with one of them, the others didn't make it that easy, but you get my point.  Especially the one who wedged himself behind the car engine and required four hours and a tow truck to lift the front of the car to get him out.  It would have been easier to fight the Kraken.

     Deathcat Toys and Toy Art Gallery are set to release another of the former's mascot figures in silver sparkly sofubi.  He stands at four and a half inches tall, looks meaner than a snake, and will be available starting today at 3pm eastern time for $45 each.  That's way less than we spend on any of the three prescription foods that we feed our little buddies, who decided its way more fun to have individual dietary needs than to come together and share the same one.

www.toyartgallery.com

   
    

Spiritus Dea Dunny Series from Kidrobot

    Here's a factoid for you:  it's been years since I featured a release from Kidrobot on this site.  The reason being is that I was handling all of the posts for their official blog and as much as I may love something, I don't have the time or desire to write about it more than once.  I say what I feel, commit it to type, and move on with my life.  Even though I no longer write for them, I still have a great love for the toys and the artists who create them.  And I've been excited for this new Dunny series since I found out about it a few months ago as it combines my love of mythology with my favorite platform figure.

    This blind box series features a collection of goddesses from various parts of the world as interpreted by an all female group of artists.  You will find designs from Stephanie Buscema, Mizna Wada, Stickymonger, Tomodachi Island, Yoii, Mia Alvarez, Marylou Faure, Candie Bolton, Muxxi, Lisa Toms, MJ Hsu, and Laura Colors.  It's a beautiful set with lots of new ideas that continue to evolve the Dunny further than anyone could have originally imagined.  These are available starting today, Friday the 27th, wherever you prefer to buy your toys.

Tenacious Toys Exclusives for New York Comic Con

     Booth number 780 is the place to be during this year's New York Comic Con.  You can actually just forget about every booth but the one run by Tenacious Toys because they will have everything you need in order to have a good time.  I may be a little biased because that's where you can find my Permafrost Edition Nordic Lucky Cat.  It's 4 inches tall, made of solid blue and white marbled resin, and limited to only 10 hand numbered pieces.  And at only $40 each you'll still have plenty of money to take your significant other out to dinner and explain to them how you are now part of the great heathen army and we sail at dawn to raid England.  How many other toys can claim to make your life more exciting just by owning it?  I'm gonna go ahead and say none.

   Of course that's not all that Tenacious Toys will have available for your collecting need.  I put most of them here for convenient perusal.  All the info you can possibly need is in the photos to help you gear up for this year's convention.  

     

Retroband Presents the "I Can't Stop the Monster I Created" Solo Show

     When I opened my email a few days ago and saw that there was going to be a meats exhibit I got a little too hyped, so I don't know why I am surprised that whenever I use that health machine at the grocery store my results are less than ideal.  You know the one I'm talking about, that sings the tempting song of the sirens as you wait in line for your prescriptions.  It measures your blood pressure, pulse, and body fat content and despite everything that video games have drilled into my brain over a lifetime, a high score is not cause for celebration.  The world should really calm it down on the mixed message front.  And of course whenever I'm there I have to use the damn thing cause there's nothing better than spiraling into a depression to let you know you're alive (not for much longer is that machine is to be believed).   But alas, this email had nothing to do with the barbecued goodness that has made the free space in my arteries tighter than last year's jeans.

    The Meats referred to the grotesque vinyl figure created by Retroband and will be the subject of a solo show this Saturday in Brooklyn.  "I Can't Stop the Monster I Created" is a title that oozes Frankenstein vibes and there certainly are plenty of similarities between the two.  Once Retroband put his creation out there the collector's took over, giving it a life all its own. Unlike Frankenstein though, the murder tally is a tad lower I think.

   The show will feature a ton of variations on this very figure, including painted, unpainted, and even a newer interpretation of the monster in a much smaller size.  And if that wasn't enough, CoART Publications is actually releasing a 154 page book filled with high quality images and which for some reason I was not asked to write the introduction for but that doesn't mean I won't make myself available for the next one (subtle hint).

    I suppose the next logical thing would be to tell you how you can be a part of all of this,  I too agree that would make sense, so here ya go.  The show is being held at Bottleneck Gallery at 60 Broadway in Brooklyn, NY this Saturday, September 21.  The opening happens from 6-9pm.

Protoduck Preorder from Grody Shogun x Lulubell Toys

    In the great state of New Jersey we have an over abundance of the majestic bird known as the Canada Goose.  They're really pretty birds but they have two qualities that are less than desirable.  For one, they love to walk across the street in droves.  One of them starts off, followed by a seemingly endless line of their relatives in tow, bringing traffic to a halt.  I don't mind waiting for them to waddle their way across the street and I will in fact block other cars from trying to drive around then until they all make it safely.  What makes me insane is that they can fly but insist on walking like confused tourists.  And it drives me insane because I don't want to see them get hurt by someone who isn't paying attention.

     The other thing about them that is less than ideal is the fact that they drop trucker sized turds everywhere they go.  They're these green tinted monsters that pepper the landscape like buckshot and are nearly impossible to navigate between without adding some stank to your shoes.  Thankfully, their uncontrollable bowel movements seem to be limited to when they are walking and eating because if they dropped those bombs on you from above it might knock you cross eyed.

    Geese are not in fact ducks, but the only duck stories I have for you involve my love of those tiny baby ducklings and you've already heard that a few times.  So to celebrate the release of the latest figure from Grody Shogun and Lulubell Toys I had to do a bit of substitution.  This is Protoduck, who has taken a strange detour on the evolutionary highway that has equipped him with a lone vampire fang and a horn that juts out from his head.  Sounds like a couple of people I know.

   This dude stands 6 inches tall and is available for preorder now for an intro-duck-tory price of just $30.  That is, until 50 orders are placed at which time the price will go up slightly to its normal $40.  Where else are you getting that much genuine Japanese sofubi for that price?  Only from https://www.lulubelltoys.com/.

Clear Green Glitter King Nawab from Planet Asia

    The new Godzilla film just showed up as a rental option through our cable provider and I was beyond excited to watch it.  I eagerly paid the $5.99 and sat with baited breath for each great monster to be revealed on screen.  Those were two hours of my life I will never get back.  The previous movie wasn't bad, but this one was hell bent from the beginning to make me hate it.  The dialogue was clunkier than my first car and the monsters were mostly hidden behind fast paced CG that really made me miss the simplistic yet much more effective costumes of films past.  How can they make a modern film like Shin Godzilla, which has one of my favorite monster designs ever, and have flawless visuals and intriguing story telling (don't act like you weren't fascinated to learn about Japanese government) but once Americans get involved everything gets blurry on the screen and in the script?

    I'm all about this gigantic figure from Planet Asia because it is like the glittery love child of Mothra and King Ghidorah.  And look at that green sparkle that doesn't need a drop of paint to accentuate it.  This beast stands 15 inches tall and features 11 points of articulation, which is about three more than me at this current moment.  At $180 plus shipping I'm surprised these are still available.   Is the problem that you need to make some space in your house?  That's not a problem at all, just throw out some furniture you don't like, or throw out some furniture you do like, life is too short to be worrying this much about a silly thing like that chair your mom gave you.

https://planetxasia.bigcartel.com

Oni-Tayu Smoke and Mirrors Edition from Tokyo Jesus x Clutter Studios

 

  There are but only so many ways in our crazy world to create something truly menacing.  Especially in America, where mass shootings are the norm and where the entire country is run by someone not mentally stable enough to manage a hot dog cart.  Freddy Kreuger wishes he could inspire so many nightmares.  To say I'm a bit jaded is the understatement of the year, but I will readily admit that this figure has a creepy "just found in the tomb of a witch" feel that is slightly unnerving.  Could be that whole skeleton made of random skulls, but that's just a guess.

    Tokyo Jesus and Clutter Studios team up again to offer us all a new version of their Oni-Tayu collaboration.  The first edition was filled with blood, so the natural progression for figure number two is to fill it with bone.  This is made from double cast resin and features and entirely new sculpted structure beneath the clear shell.  She stands at 12 inches tall, is limited to only 50 pieces worldwide, is filled with the angry ghost of a fisherman's daughter (not really, but maybe) and will be available for preorder starting on the more than appropriate Friday the 13th.  Each one is $350 and will start shipping out at the end of November.  Oh, and the skeleton glows with an otherworldly energy that I cannot confirm is not a poltergeist.  Imagine the fun you'll have!

www.cluttermagazine.com

The Debut of the Toxic Rider Sofubi from Bad Omen Toys

     How is it that every summer either ticks or mosquitos are carrying some new horrifying disease that has, until that very moment, gone unnoticed by medical science?  And why on Earth does New Jersey seem to be the Petri dish where these insects tests their new brands of evil out?  Sure, the disease that makes you allergic to red meat started down south, but then guess where it went on holiday and decided to stay?  New...Jersey.  This summer it was the mosquitos turn as they concocted a special brew that was deadly to humans and oddly enough horses.  I,can understand why they hate us because we have entire divisions of local government tasked solely with their extinction, but what did a horse ever do to offend them so badly?  It's not their fault that people who love horses are so dang weird about.  Everyone went to school with a horse girl and knows exactly what I'm talking about.  What with their every sweat shirt having a horses head on it, or the fact that they wear their riding pants to class because their was no time to change.  Horse girls are the worst.

    The original the,e behind the post involved bugs and the way they are concocting new evils to try and kill us, but in now way did I see them forming biker gangs and carrying stabbing implements.  This luscious purple hunk of Sofubi is the first ever release of the Toxic Rider figure which also marks the first ever release from Bad Omen Toys.  Designed by the duo of Video Vomit and Ryno Arts, this dude will be making his world premier today, Friday September 6th at 7pm cst.  Own one of these purple dynamos by visiting https://badomentoys.bigcartel.com.



   

Satisfaction Guaranteed Resin Figure Line from Public Figures

   You'd think I'd never been anywhere by the way I'm amazed at certain things.  I could go on for an hour about the two story Target in Brooklyn with the shopping cart escalator and I'm sure I looked really dumb to locals as I refused to move until I saw someone use it.  The gist is the escalator for your cart is right next to the escalator for people, so you can ride along side your future purchases to the next floor.  Magic!!!!!    Now I've never been to Las Vegas, but my wife used to have to go there for her job and one night while we chatted on the phone she told me about these dudes that hang out everywhere passing out calling cards for prostitutes.   When I was little I used to collect baseball cards so I thought it would be hilarious for her to try and collect as many different ones as she could and then I would put them in a binder with plastic protector sheets.  The funniest part was her collecting them, the bonus funny part was having them as a collection.  Needless to say she brought home a bunch and I never actually put the binder together.  I had mostly forgotten they existed until my cat Jorah got into the stack and dragged them all over the house.  He's obsessed with anything credit card shaped and I should have known he'd be all about smacking some prostitution cards across the floor.  I have no idea what my in laws must have thought whenever they watched the cats for us because to this day I still find them and know they must have seen one or two at some point.  It's like my cat knew they were funny and keep randomly placing them out in the open to bare my shame.

    Since Thanksgiving will now be twice as awkward this year, what harm could it do to post about figures inspired by those very calling cards?  Public Figures has created a line of four resin figures and slapped em on blown up versions of these vert racy advertisements.  I'm only showing you one, cause believe me the others are not nearly as safe for work as this is, and I know most people read my blog when either on the toilet, on a contraband cell phone in prison, or while they're pretending to do their job.  I'm not trying to have the boss sneak up behind you while looking at such content!

   All four of these ladies trying to put themselves through law school will be available beginning on September 1st by visiting publicfigures.co.uk.  And at only £25 each, how could you go wrong?

Epic Review Time Featuring the Tenacious Toys Exclusive Muckoid from Last Resort Toys

     Last week, during a marathon of Monsters Inside Me, my wife comes home and said that friends of ours were at Best Buy trying to capture a kitten.  The little guy was out there all alone and scared, so of course I was willing to catch up on my favorite tv show about parasites another time.  We spent a few hours out there the first night and were unable to capture the cat.  The next day she spends most of the day out there with traps and some sort of horrible smelling seafood medley and I joined her as soon as I got off from work.  The cat had moved from the relatively cleanliness of the bushes just outside of the front entrance and had taken up residence in a swampy retention pond that was tree lined and over grown.  By playing kitten sounds on our cell phones we were able to coax him out of his hiding place and into one of the traps for a much needed meal.  Foolishly we thought this was the end of the ordeal, that is until the kitten stood on the trigger for the trap and nothing happened.  The little bugger wasn't heavy enough to set it off.  After completing his meal he crawled back into the underbrush which was a little too close to a busy street, so there I go into the thick of things trying to drive it back out towards everyone else.  I'm sweating, covered in dirt, and then I spot a giant hole, running almost parallel to the ground.  I couldn't see inside of it so I grab one of the reeds that are growing from the primordial ooze nearby in an effort to gently see if he is in the hole when the damn thing slices my finger open.  This filthy plant that is thriving in the water from the Devil's urinal has cut me open and shared whatever yuck it was harboring with my blood stream.  Having just watched hours worth of parasitic creatures that nearly killed people under similar circumstances I am internally freaking out.  The picture above is what I imagine is feasting on my bone marrow as I type.

    This feisty bugger is called Muckoid and he is part of The Trash Bag Bunch XL line from Last Resort Toys.  Every time I see the name Last Resort Toys I want to sing that Papa Roach song, but only the intro because my name is not Kyle and my shenanigans are not fueled by Monster energy drink.  The rest of the song is not funny anyway.

    If this figure is giving you wacky flashbacks from your childhood you should probably first make sure you're not on drugs.  Just kidding, as this guy was actually part of The Trash Bag Bunch series from the 1990's, which is without question my favorite time musically.  Imagine having a whole load of the little vintage figures and surrounding this bad boy with them to make a killer display?  Go on, imagine it!!!!!!

     As far as toys go from that time period I sadly invested my money in Starting Lineup figures, which depreciated faster than a chicken sandwich left in a car that is subsequently parked at the airport for a week.  Nothing says welcome home from a long flight quite like discovering why a gang of buzzards is trying to smash your windshield.

As soon as you turn around I'm going to pee on this.  

    The first thing one notices about this figure is that it is massive. It's 7 and a half inches tall and probably just as wide.  It's got more booty than an Instagram model and enough rows of teeth to make a great white shark envious. And what are those claws for?  Being that he has only one on each arm I'm guessing it's not so he can pitch for the Yankees.  And his mouth not only exposes those aforementioned teeth and suspiciously textured forked tongue, but it doubles as a holding place for my janitor sized bundle of keys.  How many of your other toys can claim they're actually earning the shelf space they require?

No I don't know what half of them are for but I'm terrified to get rid of any.

    He is articulated at both arms and at all four of his eyes, allowing for you to pose him in a few different ways, all of which are menacing.  My favorite pose involves him being a meth-induced apparition ala Dickens's "A Christmas Carol" that visits a boy named Kyle who passes out in a dumpster behind a Papa Roach concert and then goes on to become the man that reverses global warming.  Read that one to your kids this Christmas, ya communists!!!!!!


    This color is an exclusive to Tenacious Toys and can only be purchased by visiting www.tenacioustoys.com.  Don't get your mom to drive you out to the 5 and Dime looking for one cause context clues are hard.  Tenacious Toys has the lock on any blue toy that's worth owning.  It's kinda their thing.  Did you also know that Tenacious Toys has ways you can pay for your purchases that I've never even heard of?  I was looking at their website today and I had to Google some of them to find out what they were.  All kinds of crypto currencies that I had no idea existed.  But again, I thought my Starting Lineup collection was gonna pay for college, so I guess I shouldn't expect to know about high finance.

A Trio of Vinyl Clouds from Amanda Visell x Fluffy House

    New Jersey weather has been off the chain as of late and two, count em TWO, days in a row we have had a half hour of Biblical grade thunderstorms followed by gorgeous sunshine.  I went to lunch at work one of those days and when I clocked out the sky was black and pouring rain and by the time I clocked back in it looked like a tropical postcard that you would buy in an airport.  The weather is playing with my emotions and I do not appreciate it.

   All three of these cloud figures from Amanda Visell and Fluffy House represent what has become a typical day in New Jersey weather, though I'm sure she didn't have that in mind while designing them.  Standing at 5 inches and retailing for $55 each, choosing just one would be as hard as choosing what clothes to wear to accommodate our ever changing climate.  Check em out by visiting https://fluffyhouse.bigcartel.com.

Asteroid Custom Lottery from Plaseebo

   Have you ever sat around and tried to fathom the vastness of space?  We are told that it is never ending but have you ever really tried to ponder that?  Everything we know has boundaries; every living thing and every object has a distinct end point where it ceases to exist.  Anything you can think of is contained to some degree, whether it is in and of itself or it is a part of something larger.  Your couch is contained in your living room, which is in your house, which is within your city, which is within your state, etc etc.  Like my friend in middle school's uncle who was really weird about hugging, space has no boundaries.  My God I am hurting my wee human brain just trying to imagine something like that.  Guess that means it's nap time!

    Before I go and ruin the rest of my day with an ill advised rest, let me tell you about this killer Asteroid figure from Plaseebo.  This dude looks like he was trying to prove that space did indeed have an ending and met with something very unfortunate along the way.  I'm going to label him as part of the genre "Haunted Galaxy" that I just made up as he looks like he encountered some pretty mean intergalactic poltergeists rather than mere aliens.  Whatever it was that did him in, this one of a kind figure is masterfully crafted and features LED lights which make him way more creepier than anyone thought possible.  If you'd like to be his proud owner you're going to have to enter a lottery, and if you're going to enter the lottery this is how you do so:

To enter lottery, please send the following to:  bob@plaseebo.net 

1.  Name

2.  Shipping Address

3.  Country

4.  Telephone Number

5.  PayPal Email Address

6.  Instagram ID

    Lottery winners will receive notification emails by Saturday August 17th. Figures will ship from the USA upon receipt of payment due by Tuesday August 20th.

USD $450. + $20. for US shipping OR $60. for world-wide shipping.

   The lottery closes this Friday and if you're not in it, you can't win it.  

Goldenrod Dinokitty from Mab Graves x 3DRetro

     I don't get bent out of shape very often if I happen to miss a toy release.  I tend toward look on the bright side like "I guess it wasn't meant to be" or "hey I can pay the gas bill now".  But let me tell you how gutted I was to miss out on the first Dinokitty release from Mab Graves and 3DRetro.  I almost Kyle'd all the drywall in the house and my wife had to talk me out of burning down the local Wal-Mart mostly because that's where we buy our groceries and not because she has some weird stance against arson.  I really wanted that toy.

     If you were as tormented by your lack of Dinokitty as I was then you'll be happy as a clam with what I'm about to tell you.  Or if you read title you probably already know and this part will be completely anticlimactic to you.  I apologize.  For everyone else, this Friday will see the second colorway of the elusive Dinokitty!!!!  Presented in beautiful goldenrod, this reptilian feline is limited to 250 pieces and will go on sale August 16th at noon pacific time.  I'll be at work, but I will coincidentally have to use the bathroom around this time.

Italian Stallion Edition Bear Champ from JC Rivera x UVD Toys x Tenacious Toys

    For all the history that's packed into the city of Philadelphia, tourists seem to love the steps leading up to the art museum more than anything else.  That's because they are the ones featured in the Rocky film that Sylvester Stallone runs up before looking down the Benjamin Franklin Parkway and into Center City.  No matter how bad the weather is you will see someone emulating the actions of their hero or posing for a picture with his bronze statue off to the side.  The last time we were there to go to the museum people were pissed because they were shooting the Shazam movie at the top of the steps and wouldn't let anyone else on them.  Can you imagine that was the one thing you wanted to do and some jerks are making a movie and don't want you ruining their shot?  I would have made sure they spent countless hours editing out my bare behind from every frame I could get it in.

    Who will be the first person to take this new Italian Stallion Edition Bear Champ to Philadelphia and pose him at the art museum?  You will automatically win Instagram if you do, but first you must obtain one of these figures that reminds me a little more of Butterbean than of Rocky.

They must go to the same gym.

     This big chunk of designer vinyl created by JC Rivera and UVD Toys and is an exclusive release for Tenacious Toys.  Standing 4 inches tall and hailing from part unknown, he is limited to only 200 pieces and will retail for $75.  You can get one when he is released this Friday, August 9th at noon eastern time at www.tenacioustoys.com.

Junkonotomo Sofubi Mini Series from Junk Mizuno x Tomenosuke

    These wee teeny sofubi figures from Junko Mizuno are great for a plethora of reasons.  For one, they allowed me to use the word "plethora" which is one of my all time favorites.  Secondly, they're like little bits of one of her paintings come to life, ready to run amok on unsuspecting viewers.  But thirdly, and maybe most importantly, they have the best names.  Just look at the picture and tell me they don't each have the most perfect names.  Each one is completely descriptive of its owner, allowing zero ambiguity.  Unlike the name Ted.  There's a lot of secrets hiding behind the name Ted.

     Tomenosuke has created this set out of glorious Japanese vinyl with the debut edition being in a melon colorway.  You'll have your chance at this pocket full of deviants when they go up for presale today, Friday August 2 at 7:59 am at this link.

Vintage Edition TEQ63 Exclusive from Quiccs x Martian Toys x Tenacious Toys

    Do Quiccs collectors have second jobs just to pay for his figures?  There are seriously new ones coming out every week and I don't know how anyone keeps up with it financially.  I often wonder what people do for a living, one because I'm nosey, and two because I want to know if you're hiring. My idea of networking involves meeting someone, having them tell me I'd be perfect for this opening they have at their place of employment, and have said job pay me $100,000 with no experience.  Here is my resume in case you want to give me money:

- I'm funny and really good at doing impressions of people I work with and customers

- I have an extensive knowledge of the history of professional wrestling

- I will fight you

- I've been to a Dukes of Hazard museum

- I'm not scared of snakes

- King Diamond is my godfather (not really, but could you imagine?)

     If I sound like the employee of your dreams please hit me up.  But not if you don't offer a 401k, cause this isn't Soviet Russia.

     Out of all the TEQ63 that Quiccs has released with Martian Toys I'm going to go ahead and declare this one my favorite.  I'm a sucker for this vintage color scheme and if you like it as much as I do you better be ready this Friday, August 2 when it goes on sale at noon eastern time. This edition of 150 figures is an exclusive to Tenacious Toys which means they have all of them at their secret lair in Area 51.  Since they're nice people, you won't need to storm it and risk getting blown up by the military.  Just visit www.tenacioustoys.com at the previously mentioned time to secure one for yourself.

Blind Bagged Teeny Tiny Terry from Baphomet Toys

     I like Halloween to the point that I keep my vintage blow mold decorations up throughout the year.  I've never had to decorate for the holiday because the house is filled with plenty of weird stuff beyond that.  As much as I enjoy the holiday we don't pass out candy because the kids freak my cats out.   You would think that they had warrants the way they scatter when anyone comes onto the porch, so we try and keep their stress levels to a minimum.  If they stay stress free then they don't run through the house like the world's smallest herd of buffalo, spreading destruction wherever they go.

   If I see kids like this roaming through the neighborhood it either means that the Purge has started, or the creations of Baphomet Toys have influenced the next generation of heathens.  Teeny Tiny Terry is just as his name implies; a wee little terror that might burn your house down if you try and give him something other than candy on Halloween.  There are 10 hand painted devilish ghouls and they are being sold blind bagged starting tomorrow (Wednesday, July 31) at 7pm pacific time.  The only way to get one for yourself is by visiting https://baphomettoys.bigcartel.com.

Double Feature Resin Release from HH Toys

    For some of us Friday does not mean the end of the work week, as our pain will continue to Saturday and beyond.  Sharon and I often complain about how we don't want to have to go to work, but we add lots of specifics on to the end in case someone who is listening can actually grant our request and takes things very literally.  So while we would rather go to a flea market or have minor dental surgery than be forced to deal with the unreasonable public, we don't want our not having to work be a result of unemployment.  And we also want to continue to be paid at least the same amount of money but preferably more.  You gotta add that stuff in there just in case, as getting what you wish for requires a lot of fine print.

    HH Toys is giving you something to celebrate this Friday by having a killer double feature release. First up is their first fully painted edition EVER to exist.  This monkey is freaking me out and the paint job from Michael Devera is only adding to my unease.  I've been distrustful of monkeys since I went to a rescue zoo and one played Dixie with a Cheez-It on his cage to distract me while his buddy next door was fiddling with his monkey trumpet in an unwanted display of affection.  Haven't trusted one since and don't plan to in the near future. They're limited to 12 pieces and I don't recommend taking your eyes off of them.

    The next release is sold completely blind.  What will you get?  I have no idea as I'm the last to find out anything.  There are two sculpts involved with 6 possible variants that will total 50 pieces all together.  Go on, take a gamble and then show us all what you got because I'm really nosey.

     Everything goes up for sale today (Friday, July 26) at 5pm eastern time at this link.  

      

Mike Fudge's KUB OG Edition Preorder from UVD Toys

    This dude would have instantly died if he had walked out of the house wearing this last week in New Jersey.  The heat would have turned his internal organs into a simmering, probably not so good tasting, soup and his eyes would have popped out of his head like the timer on a Butterball turkey.  I'm not even exaggerating that.  A few years ago we had an intense heat wave going and I had the bright idea for the wife and I to spend the day in Philadelphia.  Now country heat and city heat are two different animals, as what is survivable away from civilization is usually intolerable around concrete and buildings.  So there we are, roasting away like two old chickens when we come across a man wrapped up in a Jeff Gordon comforter.  We're talking wrapped up like a discarded mummy, as in you couldn't see his head nor feet.  This human sized burrito is just laying on the grass by a parking lot with tons of people walking by not even noticing him.  Meanwhile we're both looking for any signs of movement this Nascar blankie is trying to show us and we see nothing.  Either someone has discarded a dead body right off of South Street, or this person has entered a comatose state awaiting cooler weather.  We go back and forth, whether I should nudge him with my foot or whether we should call the police.  I decided not to do the former because what if he was totally okay and then I had to buy him cigarettes for waking him up, so we cross the street and alert someone at a local business so they can call the proper authorities.  (Maybe this was more than a few years ago as neither one of us had cell phones at the time).  We go about our business and ten minutes later we hear all kinds of sirens and police activity, but by the time we got back to the spot where the person was everyone, including him, was gone.  To this day we have no idea whether the person was saved or whether tons of tourists ignored a corpse as they enjoyed their vacations.  

     Mike Fudge's KUB OG edition may not be a summer weather lover, but this 7 inch vinyl figure is ready to bring the chill vibes to your home.  In fact, he is so chill he might save you money on your electric bill by allowing you to turn that ac off, though UVD Toys makes no claims to the validity of that statement.  And being that this is a preorder he won't ship out until fall, but with only 150 pieces of this version being made available, you won't want to wait until a whole nother season to order him.  Get your $75 ready and pay a visit to www.uvdtoys.storenvy.com to secure yours.  

     

Super7 San Diego Comic Con Leftovers On Sale Today

     I've never been to San Diego Comic Con.   I used to really want to go to San Diego Comic Con, but looking at the pictures online I am more than happy to have been home during the entire affair.  I'm not a huge fan of wall to wall human beings and prefer to be able to walk freely with as little impending my progress as possible.  That's not to say I wouldn't go, as I have been to the smaller New York Comic Con, it's just that I can't promise I won't freak out on an anime kid once my nerves are shot.

     If you were like me and didn't make it to the west coast never fear, because Super7 is going to give you the chance to snatch up their leftover exclusives.  Starting today at noon pacific time, anything that didn't leave with the hoarded masses will go online for anyone fast enough to get em.  Park your browser at www.super7.com and get hype for new toys.

Aztec Inspired Marvel Busts from Jesse Hernandez x Unruly Industries

     This.  More of this all the time.  I am sooooooooo tired of things like this not being the standard for a designer reinterpreting a licensed character.  The world certainly knows what everyone in the Marvel Universe looks like and I am beyond thrilled that they and Unruly Industries had the guts to let Jesse Hernandez run wild with these.  No one has ever see Wolverine or Iron Man look more bad ass then they do in these busts.  Seriously, I can't say enough good things about them.  These are are available for preorder right now by visiting https://www.sideshow.com/whats-new/.

Krell Edition Thomas Nosuke from Doktor A x Tomenosuke

    Man am I ever obsessed with the storming of Area 51.  This is the second day in a row I've written about it and I refuse to not be hype.  My wife pointed out, as she is the more observant of the two of us, that this is the first real thing to encompass every popular meme on the Internet.  Whether it's the woman with the crooked haircut that wants to speak to your manager, or Harambe (r.i.p.), or even Kyle and his love for punching drywall, this phenomena has brought them all together.  What if, now hear me out, the raid on Area 51 is just the thing this country needs to make us realize that deep down we're all the same?  That the need to "see them aliens" will heal the great divides that our horrible government seems to widen on a daily basis.   This could be the watershed moment our time needs; the moment historians will look back favorably on as the one that defined the prosperous future that they enjoy.  Probably not, but damnit a boy can dream.

   Who's to say what the aliens we liberate are going to look like, but maybe they'll have some of the old timey flair of Doktor A's Thomas Nosuke.  I'm completely smitten with the matte copper finish of this Krell edition and you already know I'm a sucker for a good patina.  This collaboration between the good Doktor and Tomenosuke is ridiculously limited at only 40 pieces to be sold online here.  Try your best when they go on sale this Friday, July 19th, at 7:59 pst.  If you miss out he will also have 5 artist proofs available, giving you two chances at owning one.  Me thinks you should follow him on social media for more info and to see whether he will be making his way out to the Nevada desert this September to join the raiding party.

Tiny Guardian Shi-Shi Sofubi Kickstarter from Bigshot Toyworks

    As of this writing, the latest creation from Bigshot Toyworks has far surpassed their Kickstarter goal and tons of these little cats will be making their way to homes around the world when it ends.  They don't need me to help them along, so instead of feeling completely useless I'd like to talk about the internet's plan to storm Area 51.  It started as people just wanting to force the government to show us the aliens they are sure are being housed there and (as most things on the internet tend to do) has degraded into some folks wanting to make sweet love to an extraterrestrial.  While I hope people don't actually get themselves killed bum rushing a secret government facility armed only with cases of Monster Energy Drink and their ability to do the Naruto run, I would love to see them actually go.  Can you imagine 300,000 people showing up and just having a good time in the desert while the military is forced to keep them at gun point?  They'd probably get one of those historic plaques along the side of the road detailing their exploits, and maybe the president would visit to lay a wreath every year for those that get too hype and have to be put down by a sniper after attempting to scale the fence.  We honor your future sacrifice.

      As bad as I would like to go to Area 51 and release the aliens I don't really do well in the heat and would just be a sweaty mess.  Instead I offer my moral support to those brave souls, no matter what their true motivation is for taking part.   Speaking of taking part in something, if you want to add an adorable sofubi kitten to you repertoire of toys, then you need to check out this link.  Tons of rewards abound at special prices and includes figures that can only be had as part of this campaign.  There's blind boxed teeny tiny ones and big ol resin versions  and of course the luxurious Japanese sofubi ones.  Start your week off right by filling your home with wittle bay bays.

The First Release of The Hextraterrestrials from Martin Ontiveros x Toy Art Gallery

    There's nothing I could have used more than a pocket full of sorcerers this week.  I think I saw on Facebook that Mercury was in retrograde, which is supposed to make people extra crazy.  There may not be any science to it, but people most certainly seem to dial their nonsense level up to a thousand.  Whether it's been dealing with the public at work, or trying not to lose it on the beyond rude post office employee, my patience with my fellow man has certainly been tested.   Now if I had a bunch of mini sorcerers at my disposal I wouldn't hesitate to put an explosive diarrhea hex on anyone that is determined to make my life difficult.  I'm talking you ate some three day old Taco Bell digestive hurricane to make you think about what you've done.

  Sadly for me, I have yet to locate any real life micro wizard folk, but Martin Ontiveros keeps my hope alive with this set of Hextraterrestrials.  They're only an inch and a half tall and come in a set of six, so even if one isn't feeling your need for retribution, there's five more that may or may not have your back.  I'm betting it would be one of the skull guys. They look like they know how to have a good time.

   Toy Art Gallery produced this gang of magical misfits and they are available to join your collection right now by visiting www.toyartgallery.com.  Each set is $60 plus shipping.

Bunny Boy Soft Vinyl Figure from Blake Jones x DoomCo Designs

    I don't have and rabbits living in my cubicle-sized yard, but I do have a family of chipmunks that has made their home under my porch.  Each day they fill their cheeks with anything that falls from the bird feeder, bury some of their loot in the various flower pots we have, and drive my cats insane as they watch their antics from the kitchen window.  They also strip my blueberry plant of its bounty every year, so much so that even though I've had the plant for five years I've eaten a total of one blueberry from it.  If it was a neighbor kid doing it I would have shot them with a harpoon gun, but the chipmunks are really cute and I don't mind them having a good meal.  Plus, have you ever seen a chipmunk climb a bush to steal fruit?  It's downright precious!

     DoomCo Designs is knows for sculpting their creations using virtual reality and the same technique was applied to creating this Bunny Boy figure from Blake Jones.  Standing g at 3 inches tall, this little critter is available now in either glossy white or baby pink for only $15 each.  They are limited to 250 pieces for each color and can be had by visiting www.blakejones.co.

The Debut of Creepy Giant from Naoki Okamato and Planet X

     Sometimes, a man just needs a freakin huge weird toy with maggots and skin rips and assorted other horrors the get him through the day.  I flip flop in my interests between really cute stuff and stuff that would make you puke your liver out.  I'm all about diversifying my collecting portfolio and also having stuff that will confuse the hell out of any people that may enter my home.  You wanna use my bathroom?  Then you'll have to pass by the adjacent wall of Catholic iconography (mostly the Virgin Mary, she's dope).  And yeah, I may have a mummified fetal pig, but do I also have a picture of Lady Gaga in a dress made of Hello Kitty plush?  I think you know the answer.

   I don't know what on Earth happened to this guy, but I don't think a trip to the emergency room is gonna help.  This is the debut vinyl figure from artist Naoki Okamato and it is I-N-S-A-N-E.  I think this may be how twins happen, but I also think I just made that up.  This behemoth was produced by Planet X, stands a whopping 12 inches tall, and will make its debut at Wonderfestival later this month. This version will be released online after, so don't let you black little heart weep with despair from missing out.  Follow Planet X on Instagram by clicking here to keep up with the latest info.

Bake-Zame Lottery from Wonder Goblin x Candie Bolton

     Ol' Wonder Goblin is a busy dude: he's making movies, he's painting toys, he's sculpting toys, he's shaping foreign policy.  I guess that's why he has the word "wonder" in his name, cause I wonder where he's getting all this time.  The obvious answer is that he has opened portals into other dimensions and wrangled all of his mirror selves up and put them to work.  Genius!

    Not only did Wonder Goblin paint a run of these new Bake-Zame figures from Candie Bolton, but he actually sculpted them for her.  This paint job just screams spooky ocean to me, which is fitting because the name of the figure actually translates to "ghost shark" in Japanese.  Wasn't Ghost Shark one of those SYFY movies?  If not it should be.  The last one of those I watched had professional wrestler Rob Van Dam as the main star and for some reason he never did his frog splash finishing move in the entire hour and a half of the film.  Why fight against the obvious, screen writers of America?

    This 9 inch tall figure features 4 points of articulation and can only be had by entering a lottery, which will begin accepting entries on Saturday, July 6th at noon est and close 24 hours later. The winners will be drawn live on the Wonder Goblin Instagram page at 1pm on Sunday and each figure will be $250 plus shipping for those of you that fate deems worthy.    You can enter by visiting https://www.wondergoblin.com.