Relic of a Jupiter Tomb by Skinner x House of Gog

 

    Anyone my age that spent their younger years watching late night television in the hopes that the scrambled version of Cinemax would come into focus just long enough to see something of interest, remembers Miss Cleo. She was the woman who looked like a lunch lady and had a convincing Jamaican accent that would implore you to call her 1-900 number so she could tell you your fortune. She was dialed into the cosmos and could see forwards, backwards, and sideways and for the low price of $3.99 per minute she'd be happy to tell you all about it. I never had the nerve to try it myself, for I was less worried about the future than I was my stepfather getting the phone bill and the ensuing hell that would cause. I did consult a fortune teller on a Jersey Shore boardwalk once like Bruce Springsteen did, and the only thing I got out of that was my debit card number stolen.

    I would be easy to convince that Skinner had a direct line to some otherworldly folks and used them as the inspiration for his work, kind of like Pickman's Model. Is he warning us about what lies beyond the veil, just waiting for their chance to inhabit our minds like fleshy Oldmobiles, or is it that the monsters have always lived deep within us and he is the only one with a torch and the bravery to light the way to their discovery? 

    Relic of a Jupiter Tomb is the latest collaboration from the visionary artist and statue makers House of Gog. Prepare to have your psyche melted like a grilled cheese sandwich at a Phish show by this one. Standing nine inches tall and featuring a removable helmet with two different faces, you get a lot of look that you can change up on a whim, or when that little voice in your head that may or may not belong to you suggests it. Limited to 300 pieces and retailing for $325, you can preorder yours on Thursdsday, December 1st at 3pm eastern time at www.houseofgog.com. 

Racks Vinyl Figure from Vandul

     By now you know I didn't win the two billion dollar Powerball lottery, because if I had I wouldn't have typed any of this. I would be busy hiring a financial team to make sure I didn't end up like those dummies who lose all their cash and go broke five years later. I'd still buy plenty of dumb stuff like a spitting cobra fountain for the drive way, but I'd like to not get evicted and that be the last thing I see as they close what used to be my electrified security gate behind me. I'd also still eat mostly chicken nuggets and Minute Rice because it's important to remember your roots and because they're the perfect food combo no matter how rich you are. 

    I'm guessing Vandul didn't win either, mainly because he didn't say anything about it on Twitter. He did however say that he's got his brand new vinyl toy dropping this Friday. Named Racks, this wad of currency is masked up and looks like he just pulled a fast one on some unsuspecting sucker. Hopefully it was a big corporation who has been robbing us blind in the name of "inflation" while reporting record profits. I digress. 

    Each figure stands six inches tall and this version is limited to 100 pieces. You can snag yours on Friday, November 11th at 1pm central time from https://vandul.co/.

Familiars and Foes Board Game Kickstarter from Horrible Adorables

 

    I haven't played a game in years before last Christmas when my niece got one that forced you to find out which person in the group was a werewolf. Everyone involved, besides her, were a little skeptical that it was gonna be corny but we reluctantly agreed to play anyway. It started off slow for a few rounds as we got a basic understanding of the rules, but by the 20th or so time we were full-on investigating people for lycanthropy like we were detectives solving a murder. Accusations were thrown about haphazardly, things from the past were brought up when weighing who had a history of stretching the truth in real life, and I got so caught up deflecting suspicion away from me that I erred by trying to cast doubt on my mother in law, who is as close to sainthood as you can get without the Pope saying so. I'm surprised I haven't been excommunicated for my error and forced to live alone in the woods. 

     Judging by the look of this new project from Horrible Adorables, the likelihood of this game erupting into a full blown family crisis seems unlikely. Familiar and Foes is a board game that takes the work of the husband and wife art duo into realms beyond your walls or shelves. Here is a rundown of the game from the creators themselves:

    Familiars and Foes is a 1 to 5 player cooperative style game. You take the role of a young spell slinging Familiar trying to rescue your witches and wizards from a horde of evil Foes. Your character begins as a base elemental Familiar (Earth, Air, Water, Fire, or Aether) and you must work to fully evolve your Familiar by completing a series of training tasks. The game is played in four waves that progressively increase in difficulty. New sets of Foes are revealed with each wave of battle that must be defeated to save your coven. The game is won when all the Foes have been defeated, all the witches and wizards have been rescued, and at least one Familiar is still standing.

   Sounds preeeetty cool, right? But, it's only cool if it becomes a reality, and that's where you come in. The project is live now on Kickstarter and is actually fairly close to being funded. That means with just an extra little push you and your friends could soon have a brand new obsession for game night. Check out this link and see all the cool rewards that are available, which include everything from the game itself, to toys, and their famous felt sculptures. 

Hammerhead Shnail from Ghost Fox Toys x Strange Cat Toys

       Do you think fish are freaked out about how little of the breathing world they've explored? We've only seen a limited amount of the ocean but they've seen even less of where we live. The only ones that make it far inland are either in aquariums or on dinner plates, so they never get to return and report what they've witnessed. Do they have these images in their heads of monstrous humans with razor teeth who are by far more frightening than the ones that they encounter? Do they share artists renditions of what they think lies beyond the beaches while they develop the technology to travel among us to further their research? Will one day a great octopus explorer walk right onto the sand with his newly constructed breathing apparatus as he Lewis and Clark's it all over the world? Do you think the township will have my water main repaired before I have to use one of those orange Home Depot buckets in a way god did not intend?  

     While I attempt to delay my lunch from becoming it's final, most powerful form, I can tell you about the first ever production figure from Ghost Fox Toys. This is a Hammerhead Shnail and it looks much like you would expect a blending of the two creatures to work out. How a Hammerhead shark and a snail fell in love and made a baby is a question for another day, though, as I've already given you plenty to think about.

 

   Strange Cat Toys wil unleash...wait...maybe "unleash" is a bit much when talking about a predator that you could just casually walk away from. OK, so they'll be debuting this vinyl toy on Saturday, September 24th at 12pm eastern time. This first colorway is know as "Sunrise Salmon" and is limited to 100 pieces. They're about 3 inches tall and will retail for $65 each from https://www.strangecattoys.com/.

Weekend Adventure Isobelle Pascha from Underverse

 

    I like to watch Project Runway because I have an unhealthy obsession with reality competition shows. I also like fashion, which not many people would guess because I only wear twenty year old heavy metal shirts and jeans. I don't necessarily like it for myself, but I like weird avant garde costume-y stuff like Alexander McQueen used to make, which is more along the lines of wearable art. Now back to Project Runway, one of my favorite parts of the show is when the designers explain who they invasion as the wearer of their garments. They often go into these elaborate explanations along the lines of "my girl is on her way to the grocery store to dispute the amount she was charged for a family sized frozen lasagna that was supposed to be on sale but rang up full price and she knows it won't taste the same until this injustice has been rectified". That's a lot of explanation for a pencil skirt, Jean Paul, but go on I guess.

    Isobelle Pascha is going on a weekend adventure and is looking mighty fierce. She's serving up looks in her skinny jeans and t-shirt that could take her from shopping for vintage finds at the flea market to brunch with her beastie. Underverse will be offering this woman on the go for preorder begining Friday, September 16th for $165, which includes world-wide shipping. She'll be available exclusively from https://underverse.com/.

Trash Kitties Series 2 from 100% Soft

  

     It's fitting that my first actual product post from my hiatus be about cats, and even more fitting it be about finding cats hanging around garbage. Sharon and I found our cat Wednesday when we were taking the trash out. Just as we go to toss the bag in out pops this little fluffy kitten from the adjacent storm drain who made a noise like Windows 95 starting up. She was so cute and without even having to discuss it I reached down, scooped her up, and we brought her in. She was all about inside life and has never made any attempt to go back outside; and she also never got any bigger, so we have no idea whether she was an actual kitten or not when we found her. 

     The strange thing too is that she has long hair and somehow managed to come out of a storm drain not covered in ick. She was completely clean, emerging like Gandalf the White from what I would have to imagine is the third filthiest place in our entire town (moving up from fourth after they closed a sketchy gentleman's club called Volcanic Eruptions that was in the same parking lot as Chuck E. Cheeses and featured competing lunch specials). 

Respect the blep 

    There are easier ways to get your own kitties that don't even require the need for an updated tetanus shot. 100% Soft has just released series 2 of thier blind boxed Trash Kitties and these mini figures come with all the cuteness of real kitties without all the responsibility. What's that, you missed out on series 1 and feel unable to move onto series 2 without starting at the begining? No worries, cause those have been restocked too. And there are special metallic chase figures to add some excitement into the mix as if there already wasn't an abundance of excitement to begin with. 

   Get em now at https://100soft.shop/.

I'm Back, Baby, or Something.

     

   A lot has happened since I stopped writing about toys. The economy has collapsed, an entire war broke out, and a trove of classified documents went missing at a golf course. At best my absence can be blamed for maybe two of those, but things have certainly been bleak. 

   In all seriousness, stepping away from writing about toys was exactly what I needed to do at the time. The majority of releases really shifted away from the type of things I was interested in design wise, and I felt like I was on a never ending cycle of helping others while neglecting my own creativity. I was the guy who could boost everyone but himself. What I've found in the months since is that a big part of my creativity, especially when it comes to my writing, needs to be worked out within some type of structure. This blog was like a prompt from a creative writing class or a daily drawing challenge that forces you to think about things you may not normally and thus kicking your muse into high gear when she may rather be taking a nap. That little voice needs constant attention or she will literally snore her way through life, only getting up to use the bathroom or check her email.

     So with that being said, this blog wasn't holding me back from living my own dreams at all, but it was actually getting my brain working in ways that was supporting my other endeavors in ways I didn't see at the time. Wow, this almost sounds like personal growth, or one of those other mentally healthy things people talk about. Yuck. Anyway, I'm back in the game, and ready for your emails about new releases. 

Exclusive Aurora Nordic Lucky Cat for Stranger Factory

     Ya'll still collect toys? I've been a little out of the mix recently working in the digital realm, so I figured it was time to make something again that you can actually hold in your hand or throw at your annoying neighbor when they keep parking in the spot you pay for. Hope that crack in your windshield is worth not having to walk ten extra feet to your house, Carl.

    This is known as the Aurora edition. It is an exclusive to Stranger Factory's group show "Toymakers of Planet Earth" V that opens next Saturday, June 4th, in New Mexico. Now if you don't happen to live in that part of the world fear not, because the remainder of the figures will show up on www.strangerfactory.com  June 6th. They are made with UV reactive resin so they glow like crazy under a black light. These are limited to 20 pieces, come in a hand stamped muslin bag, and have been expertly produced by resin warlock Dubose Art.

A Time for Change

  

The Death of Baldur

.  I announced it on my Facebook page but it's probably good to put here as well. I am no longer writing about designer toy releases. Lots of reasons have led to this decision, but the main reason is I want to focus on different things. I've spent years elevating the ideas and dreams of other people with not enough emphasis on my own work. 

    So with that being said this website will now center around the various projects I have while continuing the tradition in being as ridiculous as possible. I hope you'll stick around and see what's next.... which leads me right into NFTs.

    NFTs are the most polarizing thing in the art world right now. Digital artists love them because it gives us an ability to monetize our work in a way that was previously unavailable, including collecting royalties on resales. Collector's like them because you can own an image without physical space requirements, an expensive bill from a framer, and they don't have to hide their questionable taste when their parents come to visit. Other people hate them be abuse they don't see the point, or have concerns about the environmental impact (while posting videos of themselves lip synching to bad pop music that consume just as a much energy, but whatever) or thinking they're some sort of pyramid scheme. New things are often scary, like that mobile colonoscopy van that just opened up behind the Wal-Mart, but that's no reason to not investigate them thoroughly and see how they fit into your life. The NFTs, not the van, as Creepy Dave is obviously not a doctor. 

   I myself have decided to jump into the world of NFTs with my own collection that I've slowly been releasing on the Tezos blockchain. I didnt want to become involved unless I had something to add to what is already a crowded and confusing space and I feel like I have that.  Utilizing my Nordic Lucky Cat and combining it with computer generated art, I have created a series based on stories from the Poetic Edda. I feed lines or sometimes just names into an artificial intelligence program and it interprets what these mean. Then I use magic, and Procreate, to combine the images and create something new. I've kept everything very affordable to just a couple of bucks per image so that anyone who wants one can easily obtain them.  It's an entirely new way to envision the stories of Norse Mythology and I hope you'll enjoy them as much as I do making them.  This is just the beginning and there will be a lot of real world art to come as well.  Here's where you can get the NFTs:

https://objkt.com/profile/thetoyviking/created

“A Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes” from Cat Atomic

    

   We've all been there: whacked out of our gourds on the Devil's lettuce, missing the majority of our clothing, and desperately trying to find the parents of a random stink bug that wandered into our hotel room. Unless you've never been a grown man in his underwear that just wanted to reunite worried insect parents with their son. Cause me neither; not every story is about me, weirdos.  

   Cat Atomic is channeling some Bill Graham Presents vibes with his groovy new resin figure entitled “A Girl with Kaleidoscope Eyes”.  Something tells me she's having one of those spiritual awakenings that all the kids are talking about where they take psychedelics in the jungle and then vomit everywhere until God shows up in is like "seriously dude." She seems like she's at least at the good part right now though, where you can hear colors and your brain climbs down from your ear and asks to borrow the car for a quick trip to the store.  

    This resin beauty may be blue but she sure ain't sad and she can trip the light fantastic straight into your collection when she goes on sale this Friday, March 4th at 3pm eastern time.  Limited to 15 pieces, each one will retail for $350 and be available exclusively from http://www.catatomic.bigcartel.com/.  

Death Gnasher from Miscreation Toys

  

   I'm not sure if all couples do this, but I like to play a game with my wife I call "Would You Still Love Me If..." where I come up with the most outlandish things that could happen to me and then ask if she could live with it. It's nothing bad like voting republican, or listening to an entire U2 album, just harmless stuff like if for some crazy reason I woke up and had a golden retriever as an arm. You know, the basic things you worry about. My favorite though is what if I all of a sudden had no lips. Just a big, toothy forever grin that I can't explain. Then I pull my lips back as far as I can and try to get her to kiss me so she can work through any anxiety it may give her, which is usually the point she stops speaking to me. Not really sure why I'm the bad guy, but that's how it goes.

    Miscreation Toys has a brand new figure called Death Gnasher, who just so happens to be faced with the very lack of lips scenario I just described. Admittedly he has a few other issues that may prevent him from a happy marriage, like the exposed organs thing.  This ten inch tall horror show is going to be available begining this Saturday, January 29 at 3pm est and will come in two different versions.  There will be an unpainted flesh colored vinyl (limited to 25 pieces) for $155, and a Miscreated painted version (limited to 15 pieces) for $249.  They can be purchased by visiting https://www.miscreationtoys.net/.

Epic Review Time: Shin Eyezon from Max Toy Co

 

    Oh, it has been a minute since I've posted and even longer since I did one of my regionally famous toy reviews.  There's no better way I can think of to kick of 2022 then by telling you all about the brand new Shin Eyezon from Max Toy Co.  

   What exactly is Eyezon?  Is he a giant, mutated potato, not content to merely fade into oblivion beneath the cupboard of life?  Is he the product of our hubris in trying to push the limits of science beyond their ethical limits?  While that answer alludes me, what I can tell you is that his latest incarnation is by far my favorite ever.

    I have a long history with this figure, we'll not this particular one, but one of his much smaller versions, as it was the first ever official Japanese sofubi figure I ever bought.  It was from a small basement shop in Baltimore and he had an entire box full of Max Toy figures still bagged with their header cards.  I ended up with quite a few of them, but the first one I fell absolutely in love with was this yellow tuber that would be an optometrist's nightmare.  

    Fast forward to this past year when a box shows up at my door containing this beauty:

    Designed by artist Sophie Campbell, this newest mutation is the direct cousin of Shin Godzilla; a gnarlier, more horror-based version of everyone's favorite kaiju.  Shin Eyezon follows suit with an insane amount of detail courtesy of sculptor Beth Graves, who has packed in enough nuance to this figure that it looks like it may keep evolving on your shelf.  This is certainly not an adorable, misunderstood monster whose mere size causes his intentions to be cloudy.  No, this one is going to destroy everything and everyone in its path because all it knows is evil.

  

    You might be looking at the pictures I've taken and been thoroughly impressed by the composition, or my eye for the perfect artistic shot, but you may also be asking yourself just what color this figure happens to be.  That's an interesting question because this particular version is cast with a crazy technique that makes the vinyl change color.  There isn't any paint on it at all, it's all the plastic itself.  Depending on how you look at it you'll notice it shift between metallica copper and purple, which could keep you busy for quite awhile if you're in one of those states where certain recreational plants were just made legal. Or so I hear (my mom might read this). 

     Surprisingly there are still a couple of these available at https://www.maxtoyco.com/ , which blows my mind because this is definitely one of my toy highlights of 2021. 

Where's My Ship? Resin Figure from EPSW x Tenacious Toys

  

  If you work anywhere that sells goods to people then you have undoubtedly more than once been forced to explain supply chain issues.  The great thing about it was that the news constantly covered it, so while folks weren't happy, they instantly understood why the specific thing they wanted was impossible to find.  It was such a good excuse that I started using it for everything else.  If I forgot to text you back: supply chain.  If you needed me to take out the trash and I instead watched ASMR videos on Youtube: supply chain.  Oh you needed to borrow some money to pay your court fines?  Sorry my dude, supply chain issues.  

    While those cargo ships filled with consumer goods actually didn't have anything to do with my forgetfulness or my desire to be lazy, they are something we will all remember from 2021.  Unless we don't because, you know, supply chain.  Fear not though, because the best way to feel nostalgic is to buy something to help trigger those memories.  EPSW is releasing a limited edition resin container ship via Tenacious Toys so we can forever memorialize the cluster that surrounded ports around the world.  This four inch boat comes with removable containers and is attached to a blister card just like all your favorite action figures from years past.  These are limited to only 50 pieces and will go on sale tomorrow, Thursday, December 9 at 1pm eastern time at www.tenacioustoys.com.   

You Sleigh Me Kickstarter from The Bots

 

    My wife was in the liquor store the other day, and was waited on by an elderly gentleman who rarely ever says anything beyond "hello" and "thank you".  Being that it was the day after Thanksgiving he got extra chatty and wanted to know whether or not she had a good holiday and how she spent it.  She told him that we went to her parents house for dinner and that's when he looked at her a bit puzzled and said "your parents are still alive?"  It was then that she realized that even with her mask on he has never once asked for her ID.  He thought that she was not only old enough to drink, but that it would be impossible for those that created her to still be among the living. Naturally when she tells me the story I die laughing because she is only 42 and looks like she's at most 30. I tried to tell her that he skin is very youthful and Buffalo Bill from Silence of the Lambs would surely want it for his dress making business, but somehow that didn't help.  She's so modest.

    If you also have family or friends that are still alive then you might be interested in mixing things up a bit and playing a board game. And what better game would their be to play than one that also combines your love for vinyl Toys.  The Bots have just launched a Kickstarter for their brand new game You Sleigh Me, and you can be involved in making it a reality.  There are a bunch of different reward levels and some that even include their lump of Coal toy (and a first shot at the new Burning Ember colorway).  Check out this link  to be the hit of your next gathering. 

Villian Show from Stormy Vault This Saturday on Facebook

     

    Heroes are stupid.  You know it, I know it, everybody out there knows it.  Villains are the driving force of any good story and most of the time are the most compelling characters.  And heroes wouldn't even exist without the bad guys, but the same is not true in reverse.  If Batman had been a thing without all the lunatics having a ball in Gotham City then he would just be some dude with too much money and unchecked mental illness.  Villains give otherwise boring people a reason to get up and fight every morning at it's high time they got the credit they deserved.  Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk.

   This Saturday, November 20th at 8pm eastern time, Stormy Vault will be celebrating all things sinister. You can see their virtual Villians Show live on Facebook featuring tons of customs and exclusives from some of your favorite artists.  Click on this link here to take part.  

The Debut of Andrew Heath's Frozen Culture from 3DRetro at DesignerCon

   I'm a brave man, but I don't know that I'm brave enough for blind bagged food.  My particular brand of bravery lies firmly in the areas of relocating an unwanted snake, or taking a look at a wound and giving my opinion on whether it's infected or not.  But grabbing a blank package, with no idea what the contents are inside, and commiting to eating whatever it is scares me more than explaining technology to the elderly.  The stories I could tell you about that are too numerous and horrifying for this post.

   Thankfully, as delicious as Andrew Heath's Frozen Culture toys may look, their flavor is of absolutely no concern to me or you.  That's because these officially licensed Back to the Future vinyls are strictly for collecting and not eating.  There's seven different versions to acquire and they are sold blind bagged, so each one is a surprise.  There's also a collection of pins and prints with everything debuting at this weekend's DesignerCon from 3DRetro's booth number 405.  If you buy enough of them Ben might let you drive his Delorean, but probably not.  

DirtyTrooper "Bullheaded" from Brian Viveros x 3DRetro

 

     3DRetro does not want me to be financially stable.  They have declared war on my wallet, fired shots at my credit score, and will not rest until I have to make what looks like the inevitable choice of food or figures.  I mean, I could probably stand to lose a few pounds, but that's entirely not the point.  

    I'm not good at spending money and earlier this year I had to convince myself to purchase the beyond amazing vulture toy they did with Camille Rose Garcia.  Since it has become the literal center piece of my collection (it's freakin huge) I can't imagine life without it.  And I don't want to have to think about living without this beauty from Brian Viveros.  

   "Bulheaded" from Brian Viveros will be making her debut this weekend at DesignerCon in California, so attendees will get their first shot at owning one.  Though fear not, because the rest of us will have a chance as well and the extra time just gives you the ability to sell some plasma and make some room on your credit card.  They'll be at 3DRetro's booth number 405 and make the perfect gift for your favorite toy blogger this holiday season.  That's me...I'm your favorite.  

"Devil May Care" Bobbi the Baphomet from Zintears x Strangecat Toys

 

   I'm not sure why I thought of this at the time, but not too long ago I came up with an idea for a soap called Bath O Met, and the wrapper would feature the goat headed deity sitting in a bathtub with a shower cap on his horns and a scrub brush in his hand.  I even made a mock up of what the packaging would look like, but ultimately decided that I actually had no interest in making soap.  I still think it's funny and if anyone out there does like making soap and would be willing to make one that is black and smells like sulfur, we should talk.

   My version certainly wasn't as cute as this little guy from Zintears.  This is Bobbi the Baphomet, a little resin guy that is an exclusive release from Strangecat Toys in the US.  You don't have to be a member of the Knights Templar to be completely charmed by those sleepy eyes!  All you need is $75 and an internet enabled device when they go on sale this Friday, October 22 at 11 am eastern time at www.strangecattoys.com. 

"Odin's Eye" Nordic Lucky Cat NYCC Exclusive for Tenacious Toys

    

     After a bit of a hiatus, New York Comic Con is  back.  Personally, I'm still not at the point where I want to be in a huge crowd of people or ride New Jersey Transit.  Sitting on the train into New York was always an adventure in germs before the pandemic and I've witnessed some of the grossest things in life on that 45 minute ride.  One of the worst was when this guy that looked like a less successful Machine Gun Kelly made his girlfriend stand up the whole way so he could lay his cheeseburger down in the seat next to him.  His unwrapped, unprotected cheeseburger sitting bare bunned on the molded plastic seat.  Periodically he'd pick it up, take a bite, and return it to its resting place.  I felt bad for the girl but then realized he'd be dead of some unknown illness in less than a week and could only hope she'd see the gift that was her new found freedom.  

      While I won't be physically at New York Comic Con, I will be there in spirit via my Nordic Lucky Cats.  These are the Odin's Eye edition and will be available exclusively through Tenacious Toys.  They are a tri colored marbled resin, standing 4 inches tall and limited to 10 signed and numbered pieces. And they also glow under blacklight!!!  Are they filled with ghosts?  Probably!

     Produced by DuBose Art, each one is completely unique and a virtual steal at only $40 each.  Find them and tons of other amazing figures at booth # 1579 during the show and make sure to keep an eye on www.tenacioustoys.com afterwards to score any leftovers. 

The Debut of Zephron Space Wizard from Magitarius

 

  I'm fairly certain a girl named Zephron Space Wizard tried to recruit me to join some cult/commune situation in the parking lot after a Korn concert in 1998. It was her, some other girl that was whacked out of her head on some unknown substance, and a big hairy dude who carried all of the literature.  I seem to remember when their pitch for signing up to their group didn't work they pivoted to attempt to sell me some crappy bumper stickers, which I give them credit for at least starting high and working their way down.  Unfortunately for them, I'm way less likely to part with my money than I am to talk to strangers.  

    While its just an ok name for a hippie, Zephron Space Wizard is absolutely perfect for the latest vinyl figure from Magitarius.  Standing a whopping 14 inches tall, and featuring a whole mess of bonuses like accessories and stickers, this dude also glows in the dark to fully display the breadth of his cosmic powers.  This debut edition will be available begining Friday, September 17th at 9pm eastern time exclusively from https://www.magitarius.com/.  They are limited to only 15 pieces and will retail for $265. 

Mr. Puff Vanilla Edition from Andrea Kang x myplasticheart

 

     I'm adventurous in certain ways in my life, but with food I like to play things OSHA-level safe.  But I've been trying to branch out like the sad little culinary tree I am, and some times I'm even pleasantly surprised by the results.  Last Sunday was not one of those times.  

    My wife and I were in a large food court type place (the names of the offenders shall remain hidden) and I was dying for a cheesesteak.  The line was a killer though, and my wife returned from checking out all of the other options with something that was intriguing to me: a cheesesteak crepe.  I like crepes and I like steak, so what could go wrong? Well, much like professional wrestling and antiquing, not all things you love are meant to happen at the same time.  I was so hungry I powered through the overwhelming vanilla flavor but it took a solid 24 hours for the idea of what I'd done to allow the nausea to fade.  I really hate learning lessons via my digestive system, but there I was, a cautionary tale to no one but myself.

     This is not only the debut of Mr. Puff from Andrea Kang, but it's also the Vanilla edition, which ties my story back to the toy in a way you probably didn't expect.  Not only is that completely surprising to you, but you'll be surprised that this toy is available right now from myplasticheart (who also produced this little sweetie).  In hindsight I probably should have just told a cute animal story, but this has been a week all about what I should have done instead of what I did.  See, I just tied the story to the toy AGAIN.  Some one should pay me for this stuff.

    Standing 4 inches tall and made from soft vinyl, you can welcome one into your life by visiting https://www.myplasticheart.com/.

 

Tenacious Toys Exclusive Skull Dangler from DuBose Art

    

    During the pandemic my wife and I decided to expand our garden area, which required a lot of digging. Despite covering a large amount of ground with the shovel, we didn't unearth a single shallow grave.  Which depressed my wife because she has always wanted to find a dead body (specifically of a stranger) and it doesn't get any more convenient than finding one right next to your air conditioning unit. We did manage to dig up an old bone from a steak that some dog must have buried before we moved in, but that's not going to get us on Forensic Files.  It might endear us to the neighbor's chihuahua, though.

     DuBose Art's Skull Dangler has craniums for days and could easily place one in our flower bed for us to find like some morbid Easter egg hunt.  He's kinda busy though in his exclusive new Boo Berry colorway for Tenacious Toys.  Releasing this Friday, August 13th at noon eastern time, this eight inch tall sofubi bone monster can only be had by visiting www.tenacioustoys.com.  Each one is $140 and comes with a sticker and enamel pin.  

Splurrt Tenth Anniversary Golden Kid from Lulubell Toys

 

     Ten years is a pretty good run for anything these days, though not when it comes to my t-shirts.  Years ago when I was going to concerts all the time I used to by the shirts with the tour dates on them and I have been surprised more than once by how long they've lasted.  My oldest two are from when I was in high school: R.E.M. in 1995 and Smashing Pumpkins in 1996, and even though I don't wear those anymore I can't bring myself to get rid of them.  My wife is thankful I'm not nearly as sentimental about my underwear.  

   Splurrt's Cadaver Kid has hit the literally ripe old age of ten and to celebrate this undead plastic corpse is being released in a super neat gold vinyl from Lulubell Toys.  Featuring a smile only a coroner could love, this five and a half inch tall dreamboat can be yours this Saturday at 9am pacific time for just $55 plus shipping.  Fish one out of the river at www.lulubelltoys.com.

The Debut of Lord Mastomar from Wonder Goblin

   

    Do you spend your days trying to picture what the children of fictional beings would look like? Don't act like that's weird, especially when there are people out there actually interested in billionaires going to space.  I'd be more into it if they paid their employees a living wage, or eradicated homelessness or ended world hunger, but I've been told my lofty expectations will often lead to disappointment, so that's where we are with that.  

   So I started this off talking about weird couplings and their offspring and I can assure you that no matter who I would have put together, Cthulhu and Baphomet were not on the list.  Mikhail Gorbachev and Heidi Klum? That's a different, grotesque, story.

    Wonder Goblin's Lord Mastomar has adopted a very familiar pose as he sits on the bottom of the ocean floor dreaming. He is ready to now plant his behind on your shelf and judge you from a much closer proximity, but only if the fates comply.  To own this 9 inch sofubi dream boat, you are going to have to enter and win a lottery.  Begining this Saturday at noon eastern time, you can enter to purchase this debut edition, which is cast in black and glow in the dark marbled vinyl and features six points of articulation.  Visit https://www.wondergoblin.com/ to enter.  

Maneki-Astro Preorder from DoomCo Designs

  

    Astro Boy is looking like he might be trying to trick my wife and I into adopting him.  We have five cats now, which immeadiately after telling someone that I feel its important to add that we did not wake up one day and decide that was the number for us. Remember in Clash of the Titans when Perseus was walking around the amphitheatre and all the gods had left gifts for him to find? That's how we ended up with five cats.  I'm not sure how they will help us slay the Kraken at some future date, but I'm here for the surprise.

    I love seeing licensed toys presented in a new way and DoomCo Designs has certainly done that with this Maneki-Astro.  This five and a half inch vinyl figure is a fully legit Astro Boy collectible that is currently being produced right now by Squibbles Ink.  Created in virtual reality (which is often better than actual reality) you can preorder this little cutie now by visiting https://www.doomcodesigns.com/.

Tikumo: Super Tiki Sumo Sofubi from Gerald Okamura

     

     I've had a few nicknames in my life, but none of them have ever been as cool as  "Man of Many Weapons."  In fact not many of them are fit to print, but if I were to come up with some that are relevant to my life they would probably be along the lines of:

Man of Many Cats

Man Who Burns Easily in the Sun

Man of Gastrointestinal Distress 

Man who is Leary of Many Foods

   Based on this list, I am not nearly the badass that Gerald Okamura is. While I may be more suited to a life of observational humor and feline restroom maintenance, one thing Gerald and I have in common is our love of toys. And he loves them so much he decided to start making his own.  This Friday will mark the debut release of his new Japanese sofubi figure, Tikumo the Super Sumo Tiki.  Each four and a half inch figure has been painted by Mark Nagata in a limited run of just fifteen pieces.  They will be available on July 9th at 6pm eastern time exclusively from https://geraldokamura.com/.

The Billy Bloom from doubleparlour x Kyle Kirwan

 

  

      Next time there's a global pandemic the leaders of the world need to do two things differently: For one they need to start at the first press conference by saying that the virus causes erectile dysfunction.  There wont be a man on Earth not wearing a mask, covered by a motorcycle helmet, with a can of Lysol in each hand.  Trust me, its science.  The second thing is that no matter what the virus actually looks like under a microscope, they need to show a picture of this figure.  Anyone whose pee pee isn't directly threatened will in no way shape or form want this little vampire gremlin running amok in their blood stream.  Both of these ideas prove my value to the illuminati or whoever it is that actually runs this place, and I will be expecting my offer of employment to arrive any minute.  I will not be taking questions at this time. 

    Kyle Kirwan's Bloom sculpture has never looked more aggressive thanks to the talents of husband and wife duo, doubleparlour.  This murderous little imp is cast in resin, hand painted, and comes in two different colorways.  The pink is limited to 13 pieces, while the green is even rarer at only 12.  They will be $40 each when they are released this Friday, July 2 at 11am eastern time exclusively at https://www.kylekirwan.com/.