Boba Fett Bank from Diamond Select Toys

 
     I love my cats, but I don't trust them with my money.  Every time I look under the bed I find dollar bills in quantities that make me think a tiny stripper must live under there.  A very tiny stripper.  But just as soon as I'm about to call the evening news about my scandalous elf who is working her way through law school I also discover piles of cat toys that had long vanished.  My cats have been hoarding all my money!!!!!  Diamond Select Toys must have heard my plight for a secure place to stash my cash and created this.  Boba Fett will keep their furry little mits off my monies.

Don't believe me that my cats are robbing me blind?  This is what I caught on hidden camera:

Lunartik Presents Mr. Tea

    Oh my God.  Oh my God this might be the greatest things I've ever seen.  I'm not even kidding this time.  It's Mr. T, in a tea cup.  I pity the fool who doesn't preorder this amazing toy from Lunartik.  There's only 100 of them made and they come signed and numbered by the artist himself.  Click here right now and then email me to let me know how much better I just made your life.  If you don't buy it Mr. T himself will come to your house and punch yo momma square in her face.

Metallica Monopoly

    Have a metal head in your family that also loves a quiet night at home playing board games?   Then have I got something that will make your Christmas shopping list that much shorter.  It's Metallica and it's Monopoly, all in one big package for $42.99.  Ummmmmmmmmmm, wow, it's really harder than I thought to be positive about this one.  I'm gonna go put on Master of Puppets and pretend like this never happened.  

Toys R Us Exclusive Ugly Doll

    Check out this guy I discovered while reading the Sunday paper (it's still a viable media source for anyone over 30).  He is a Toys R Us exclusive and retails for $19.99 or you can get him for $7.99 with any Ugly Dolls purchase of $20 or more.  They say he's an Uglydog, but I think he looks like my cat Icarus, who you can see below:

   The resemblance is uncanny, except for the whole cyclops thing.  But I swear he has that same scarf.

G.I. Joe Gets the Anime Treatment

    I first saw these figures at New York Comic Con and have since seen them for sale at a few different stores.  Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles got the anime treatment a few years back and the results were not that good.  But recently Thundercats have relaunched with the same look that these figures have and it seems to not only make the original fans happy, but it is also exposing them to a new generation that completely missed out the first go round.  With that being said these reinterpretation of G.I. Joe was kinda weird to me at first, like they where blaspheming something sacred from my childhood.  But the more I look at them, and the more I think about kids playing with the same toys today that I did 20 years ago, the more ok I have become with their existence.  I just hope their parents will let them open the packages and dig up the backyard the way I did to create an entire world they can play in.  I still have figures with the grit of dried mud clogging up their joints.  I'm sure many people will collect these and stow them away in a box or leave them to collect dust on a shelf, but the love I have for toys today comes from the extent to which they aided in building my imagination, something nearly impossible to do through cardboard and plastic.  I hope the kids will love them now as much as I did then.

The Hammer of Thor Bottle Opener

    There are times in one's life when one needs a device to rescue a tasty beverage from the clutches of an evil glass prison.  If you are to free your mead from the grasp of all that is unholy, you should probably do it with Thor's Hammer!  Diamond Select Toys will be releasing Marvel themed bottle openers in 2012, with the first being the mighty Mjolnir.  Wield the power of Asgard while you unleash refreshment among your friends!  Just don't hit anybody with it.

Feroshi the Dino Slug from Shawnimals

       To close out 2011, Shawnimals has created a dinosaur/slug hybrid that is probably slow moving but looks like it would bite the crap out of you when it caught up.  Limited to 100 handmade pieces, Feroshi will go on sale December 7th right here for $30 American dollars.