Warui Neko from Kaiju Coup x Medicom Toys

    I'm not always the best at judging whether or not I should pet an animal.  Take for example this picture:

    This is a resident of our local animal shelter.  Cute little bugger yeah?  For some reason I thought I would ignore the very clear warning and give this guy a little snuggle anyway.  "All kitties need love" I thought, as I reached in to let him sniff me.  The sign, as it turns out, was not put there to be funny.  He proceeded to claw the crap out of my hand with a quickness that would make a ninja's head spin.   But there's something about this Warui Neko from Kaiju Coup x Medicom that would make me even think twice about scratching behind his ear.

     Maybe its the blood trickling down from his mouth.  Maybe its those dead, yellow eyes.  Luckily, he's just a toy and there's only 9 of him to bring...joy?...into your life.  To get one you have to enter a lottery by sending your name, email address, and physical address to kaijucoup@gmail.com by Thursday, August 22nd.  If you're lucky, you will then pay $180 to have this hand painted evil critter sent to your door.  

Epic Review Time: Bullet Belt from Skinner x Unbox Industries

    It's Monday.  About 11am in the morning.  The doorbell rings, followed immediately by a forceful knock.  I am watching tv in my underwear.  Then the debate in my head starts.  Do I answer the door and act like everything is totally cool, or do I say "hang on a second", run upstairs, and put on whatever clothes I can find?  I option for the latter, just in case it's kids raising money for school or something.  That's the last thing I need to start off my week.  I get my pants on and I open the door to find the crankiest mail man I have ever met.  He was walking off, mumbling to himself about how he "doesn't know where the hell everyone is today to sign for these damn boxes".  I thought to myself how grateful he should be that I didn't answer the door with my bingo hanging out.

    Fast forward a bit and I'm tearing this sucker open.  The return address was in Hong Kong and the customs papers said their were toys inside and being that I haven't ordered anything in awhile I was most curious.  Behold, even though some of ye be unworthy, the mighty treasure that the gods bestowed upon me:

    It's Bullet Belt from Skinner x Unbox Industries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (yes, every one of those exclamation points was grammatically correct).  This is an unpainted flesh version that is reminiscent of the classic M.U.S.C.L.E figures and this sucker is huuuuuuuuge (again, grammatically correct, look it up).  They say he's 10 inches tall, and I don't have a ruler to use in dispute of that, but I wish I did cause I think he's bigger.  You wanna know how big?  This is him standing next to a full grown tiger:

    Pretty massive right?  But on a serious note, this guy is 100% amazing.  I've wanted one since the first images of him popped up online, but no mere picture can do it justice.  The sculpt is insanely detailed and the figure is made so well I couldn't even find mold lines.  Not only that but since it's not painted you can't hide any flaws, which doesn't matter cause they're aren't any.  He's also articulated at the shoulders, wrists, and neck, so you can pose him however you want to make him look even more menacing (if that's possible).  But you gotta watch him, cause he's as smooth as he is tough, so much so that I think he stole my wife:

    What a slick willy!!!  I can't even be mad at him though.  Mostly because he scares me.  He even came with a mini version of himself for back up:

    How do they make a small one that looks exactly like the big one?  Lasers and computers?  I have a computer and the best thing I've ever been able to do is read TMZ.  I've certainly never shrunk anything.  I think that dude at Best Buy ripped me off.  This little guy is the perfect size to fit into the rest of the Triclops B.A.S.T.A.R.D. universe for real wrasslin action!

    The preorders for the first painted version of this behemoth have come and gone, but don't think that will be your only chance to get one.  This sucker is too awesome to be released once and never heard from again.  There will be more and I will tell you all about them as soon as I know.  But in the mean time you need to do a few things to prepare yourself to welcome a toy this brutal into your life, so  I prepared a handy list to help you survive the moment you open the box:

1.)  Eat lots of red meat.  You're gonna need to build up your iron.  

2.)  Only listen to the blackest metal you can find.  Your mind needs to be shaped by tales of dark magic and evil spirits so you can withstand his penetrating gaze.

3.)  Get a prison tattoo.  You don't actually have to go to prison for it, but bonus points if you do.

4.)  Stop shaving your beards.  Ladies, you can ignore this one.

    These are mere suggestions mind you and not a complete list, as Bullet Belt is the baddest toy I've ever encountered and will be sure to change up his menacing ways to more effectively bring fear into your heart.  But you should buy one anyway and make the rest of your toys look like sissies.

    This has been verified by The Library of Congress as the best toy review you have ever read.  

Marvel Mini Labbits from Frank Kozik x Kidrobot

    Kidrobot's got a butt ton of product coming out but nothing makes me tingly the way these Marvel Labbits do.  Just look at em, dressed up like their favorite heroes and villains and ready to take on comic con.  They come out September 12th for $9.99 each blind box.  I'm gonna go ahead and buy another display case for my wall in anticipation.  

Matt A* x Suburban Vinyl Exclusive JA_M13 Figures

    I'm a very happily married man, but that doesn't mean that my ability to appreciate the female form was suddenly switched off the moment that ring was slipped on my finger.  You just have to do your appreciating from afar and with a bit more finesse.  Art for instance is the perfect way to satisfy a man's primal urge to stare at naked women without the shame of our car being parked in front of a strip club.  Not that I would ever be caught dead in such a place like that, because I have a germ problem and my OCD would dictate that my clothes were immediately burned.

    So I present to you the perfect opportunity to appreciate the female form while not being forced to sleep on the couch.  Matt Anderson created this JA_M13 sculpture as part of his solo show at Suburban Vinyl and they still have a few of them left for purchase.  Now let me tell you, after you buy it you better come up with some fancy way of explaining why you like it so much cause I will not be responsible for any missing teeth you may incur.  Fancy up you toy collection with some art son!

http://suburbanvinyltoysartgallery.bigcartel.com/

Game of Thrones Figures from Dark Horse

    In a perfect world, new episodes of Game of Thrones would air every night for the rest of my life.  We could cancel all of those fake "reality" shows and pool the resources to ensure that this show continues forever and at the aforementioned frequency.  I seriously am that into it that I can't imagine ever not wanting to watch it.  Ok, so it doesn't have to air every night, because I still need to watch Downton Abbey and Sons of Anarchy, but almost every night would work for me.  

    Dark Horse is going to start producing figures based on the show.   They're starting the collection out with Daenerys "I'm Usually Not Wearing This Many Clothes" Targaryen and Jon "I Know Nothing" Snow.  They don't come out until January, but you can click on the link to the right and preorder them now from Entertainment Earth to ensure you get them.  

Evil Within Reticulated Box by Carson Catlin x DeKorner

    This thing is pretty crazy.  What you're looking at is a laser cut acrylic box within a second laser cut acrylic box.  It's exactly like that picture I saw on the news the other day of these dudes fishing that caught a shark that was in the process of being eaten by another shark.  Check it out:

    Pretty nuts right?  Carson Catlin designed this box and made only 10 of them in this yellow colorway exclusively for DeKorner.  They go on sale today at 10am Pacific time at http://www.dekornerstore.com/.

Marvelous Death from Kris Dulfer

    Of course Death is a woman.  Do you know how many women have tried to kill me in my lifetime?  A lot.  The numbers would astound you.  And it's not as simple as using a gun or a knife nooooooooooooooooooooooo, they want to make my brain turn into a pile of mush and leak out of my ears.  That's why I don't sleep well.  My wife won't tell me why she's mad until at least two weeks after the offending act, so I live in a constant state of panic.  She could be plotting right now and I wouldn't know it.  

    Kris Dulfer has created 20 of these hand made resin figures and you can bring one home tomorrow for $65.  One lucky person will get a special one that is hand painted by Soko Cat.  Each one will also come with a 5 x 7 print featuring artwork from Brandon Vance.  All the other info you need is in the picture up there.  

http://kidinkindustries.storenvy.com/