Monster Worship Exclusives Available Now at Foe Gallery

    We have a grocery store nearby that just got this machine that will buy your unwanted gift cards from you.  I'm sure it doesn't give you full value for them because they have to make a little something for themselves, but it's still a good way to get rid of those cards to Aeropostale you'll never use and get cash instead.  Then you could convert that cash into awesome toys instead of crappy shirts with a store's name on them. 

    Personally, I would buy these exclusive Monster Worship toys from Foe Gallery.  They are part of the Mysterium show that is currently on exhibit, but these guys are ready to ship to you right now.  Both are cast in clear red vinyl and extremely limited so get to ordering son!  Pick em up from http://www.shopfoe.com/.

GeekWok from UME Toys Releases Tonight!

    Ahhhh time to get back to work.  I hope you all had a good Christmas and didn't get stuck with lots of socks or pink bunny footie pajamas.  I've thus far managed to get toys every year of my life and I plan on keeping up that level of consistency until I'm dead.  You have to have goals.

    Look at this GeekWok from UME Toys.  Now is he really a geek, or is he one of those hipsters that think if they wear big glasses that people will find them interesting?  Ewoks would have been the perfect hipsters because they were already growing their own food and taking Instagram pictures out in the forrest long before it was cool.  This guy looks legit though, and he's probably the one that designed all their fancy tree houses.  Only 20 of these hand made dudes exist and the go on sale today at 9pm GMT through http://umetoys.bigcartel.com/.

Epic Christmas Review Time Extravaganza: Sumo Trooper from Kris Dulfer/Kid Ink Industries

    It always surprises me that sumo wrestling wasn't invented here.  We invented Burger King, stretch pants, and the Wing Bowl, which packs 20,000 into a stadium to watch people eat chicken as fast as they can.  Sumo seems like a no brainer.  But, since this is America, if we didn't invent it we sure as hell are gonna improve on it.  How much more awesome would sumo wrestling be if everyone wore Storm Trooper helmets?  That's a trick question because it is a known fact that everything, no matter what it is, is more awesome when Star Wars characters are involved.  Try and find something that's not and I'll make sure to send doctors to your house and declare you legally dead.  

   Kris Dulfer of Kid Ink Industries is doing his civic duty by banging out these Sumo Troopers.  These little resin dudes are insane.  He hooked me up with this one while back and I love it.  I took him outside today for a while to really charge up his special glow feature and that sucker was so bright I'm thinking about throwing my lamps out and just getting a bunch of these.

    Look at that dude shine!  It may be filled with magic, I dunno how these things work.  I'm just a simple toy bloggin bro.  What I do know (see how I just transitioned there?  that's called literature son) is that he just loaded his store up with a bunch of one-offs of these.  There's all kinds of different colors to pick from.  All you gotta do is go to http://kidinkindustries.storenvy.com/, pick one out, and place your order.  

    If you've never owned a hand made toy like this you're really missing out.  There's no factory or heavy machinery involved, you're buying a piece of art directly from the artist.  There's just a different feel about them when you realize the hard work that one lone person did to make this happen.  Kris is a master at his craft and his pieces never cease to blow me away, and they're even better in person.  

Frankenstein's Monster Bust from Plaseebo

    Of course this bust of Frankenstein's Monster from Plaseebo look great on your shelf, but you can also use it to defend yourself during a home invasion.  This is nine inches tall and made of solid resin that weighs in at four pounds.  Now that might now seem like a lot, but smack some fool upside the head with it and you'll only need the cops to show up to remove the body.  Not that this is marketed as a weapon, but I like to try and find the hidden added value.  It's the same technique I use when the wife and I shop for things for the house.  

"In an emergency, could we use this to kill a man?"

Sharon weighs the object in her hand, then stares inquisitively at my head.

"I think it would crack a skull."

End scene.

   Plaseebo only made three of these and they will be released at www.plaseebo.net/webstore/ on Christmas Day.  

Christmas MonstreApes from Monstrehero

    Forget that Elf on the Shelf nonsense, this Christmas it's all about monkeys!  Let's start a new tradition, where if you're a rotten little heathen all year, the Christmas Ape climbs down your chimney instead of Santa and puts a handful of his own homemade coal in your stocking.  But a little poop in your sock isn't going to stop you from being a terrible person right?  Well, after he drops the ol yule log, he brings the stocking to your bedroom and beats you about the head with it.  Maybe that will make those little brats think twice about trying to run down an upwards moving escalator at the mall.  And speaking of escalator safety, don't stop once you get off the escalator and then determine where you want to go.  Move over to the side so other people are able to get off of those death stairs.  I had to push a dude out of the way because he was barely off of the thing and looking around like it took him to some alien world.  

    Back to business.  Ask for Christmas Apes, and ye shall receive.  Monstrehero just loaded some of these festive primates into their store and they're ready to spread the holiday cheer/poop in your stocking.  Look, they're even holding little Christmas ornaments!  And they're pee pee is out.  You're getting the full monkey experience with these dudes.  Get one for yourself or a loved one at http://monstrehero.bigcartel.com/. 

Mako Knight from Skinner to Benefit PangeaSeed

    Like all aspects of life, things need to maintain a delicate balance.  And being that people can be greedy morons, this is difficult to achieve.  Healthy oceans are essential to sustaining life on earth, but we regularly pollute them and over fish them in the name of making a buck.  PangeaSeed has teamed up with artists all over the world to help raise money and awareness to protect our world's oceans.  Skinner created this Mako Knight figure a few months back but there are still some available to purchase through http://shop.pangeaseed.org/.  Only 25 were produced and for a mere $60 you get an awesome toy and you're helping make the world a little bit better.  See, and you thought I was just full of jokes.  I can be serious too.  

Toy Art Gallery Exclusive Jyujin from GEEK! and Medicom Toys

    This dude kinda freaks me out.  I bet if you don't recycle your cans he'll come around to your house punch you in the face.  And then when you come too you'll realize that he's let squirrels move into your kitchen.  Throw your recyclables in the proper receptacle people!!!

    This is Jyujin.  He was created by GEEK!, produced by Medicom, and is an exclusive to Toy Art Gallery.  He goes on sale tomorrow, December 18th, at noon Pacific time from http://shop.toyartgallery.com/.  He stands a full foot tall so you're gonna have to get rid of some of your Nicholas Sparks books to fit him on your shelf.